Arakshi fic "When there are no words" Pt 8 16/02 - Page 6

"Goodbyes are not forever. Goodbyes are not the end. They simply mean I'll miss you until we meet again."

~Anonymous

Part 3: Is it the time to say goodbye? 

Sakshi could not sleep.

Maybe her body is used to his virile, warm presence or maybe her mind is still perturbed by the earlier events. Or maybe it is the foreboding feeling of bidding farewell to her haven of almost four years. She doesn't know.

All she knows is that she could not sleep. She tries, twists and turns, but sleep is elusive. It is a faraway dream.

So, she does the only thing. She thinks. She thinks about herself, her child, him.

It does not escape her notice either that if she continues stressing herself out, it might have serious repercussions for her child. Their child.

It is unbelievable. It really is. Because yesterday, when she had learnt about her pregnancy, she was scared. Shit scared. She had visited the doctor simply because she thought she had a severe case of flu what with feeling dizzy, tired and wanting to throw up. But no. It was not flu. It was pregnancy. She was freaking pregnant!

However, once the news had sunk in, she had not felt scared. Pride, awe and happiness, maybe. But not scared.

She was pregnant.. with his child. And it was the best feeling ever!

With that thought crossing her mind, her hand involuntarily shoots up to caress her belly. It is flat now and she cannot be sure if he is there or not. But somehow, even if she cannot touch him, she feels him. Growing inside of her. And it is both- frightening as well as amazing.

She would not lie, but the thought of an abortion did cross her mind. After all, this was India. Here, babies conceived out of wedlock were still looked upon. Not only that, but single mothers were not something that the society accepted easily. They are ridiculed, insulted, called a wh**e. But one look at herself in the mirror and the feel of his presence, and she had fallen in love with him. Irrevocably. Absolutely. That moment, she had promised herself she would not let any evil befall him. She will fight. For herself. Especially for him.

That was the reason why she didn't want to tell Arjun. She knew he wouldn't care. Without even flinching, he would want her to get an abortion. He would call her child a mistake. He would see him with abhorrence. That's why she had to end things. She knew pregnant or not, sooner or later, she would have ended it. It was not like that their relationship had any future. But truth be told, her pregnancy had acted like a trigger. She did not know if she had it in herself to say no to him but once the knowledge, that he wouldn't care about her child, struck her, she knew she could even physically harm him if the need arose.

And she was right. Wasn't she? He didn't care. He didn't care enough to even warrant a word. No. He simply walked away. Like she didn't exist. Like they were not doing what they were doing for the past six months. He just walked away. Not even caring to look back.

She had cried then. Cried her hearts out. She didn't know when but once the onslaught of tears had subsided, she had walked to her bed. Her clothes were scattered, she was still wearing flats, she was still dressed from work and it was uncomfortable, but she didn't care. She had laid in a fetal position until another bout of tears had overwhelmed her.

And now, she could not sleep. Her body and mind are tired, but she is awake. Wide awake. Thinking..

It is 4 AM when she finally falls asleep.

~.~

She wakes up with a start two hours later.

Apparently, even if a certain man was not there in real, he still paid a visit to her in her dreams. A wet dream, may I add. It seems that even after sleeping with him so many times that she has lost count, she still craves his body. Like he is some drug. She finds herself blushing at that thought.

It takes her almost ten minutes to clear his images. Or maybe fifteen?

But as soon as she is fully awake, she clears the mess that is her bed, finishes her morning rituals, gets ready for work and.. yeah, that's it.

However on the way, she does not buy her espresso, her favorite drink.

Why? Simple. It makes her nauseous.

She discovered it yesterday itself. Like every day, she had sipped her delicious coffee and half an hour later she had landed up in the hospital.

And just like that her favorite drink had become something of a poison.

She had heard about it earlier, read about it in some articles too. How people became averse to certain smell. Unfortunately, it was coffee for her. Alas.

~.~

It is ten minutes to eight when she reaches the ETF office. After almost spending four years there, she feels some sort of solace there. After her family, or what is left of it anyways, this is her family. Sameer, Aisha, Shree, Chotu and Liza mean so much to her that it hurts her. The fact that very soon she would have to leave them leaves a void in her heart.

She is so preoccupied by her thoughts that she doesn't realize that she has reached Sameer's office. Sighing softly to herself, she knocks on his door. When she hears his familiar grunt, she peeks inside, a smile forming on her face. He is surrounded by heaps and heaps of files, papers and other stuff. Poor Sameer, he always ends up with paperwork. She is still lost in thought when he looks up with a smile mirroring hers and beckons her inside.

"Sakshi!" He addresses her in a cheery tone and some of her nervousness flies away.

"Hi Sameer!"

"Wow, you are early today. Do you have something to talk?"

"I- um- actually.." she fidgets a little and paces the length of his office.

"What is it Sakshi?" his voice is a little concerned.

"I have decided to leave ETF. I am getting a job with a newspaper agency in London and I am taking it!" she rushes, not meeting his eyes still.

There is silence in the room as he contemplates her words.

"When?"

She gazes at him then, thankful that he is not asking for reasons. "My flight is tomorrow but I will be joining them within a week."

"Okay." He says simply.

Feeling incredulous at his nonchalance, she asks him before she can stop herself, "OKAY?? You are not going to stop me or something? And here, I thought that you cared about me?"

"Are you even gonna miss me?" she adds as an afterthought. Shut up Sakshi! You pregnant fool!

There is a moment of terse silence before Sameer bursts out laughing.

What the hell?!

"Oh God Sakshi! Your expression.. priceless! Of course I am going to miss you! But no, I am not going to stop you. If working for a newspaper is what you want then I will support you. Because that's what friends do. Even if they are going to miss the other person, they let him go because it is his dream. Now, come here and give me a hug."

They hug and unwittingly, tears form in her eyes. At least there is someone who cares about her!

"Arre, why are you crying? You should be happy!"

Stupid pregnancy and stupid hormones!

"It's just.. it was a very sentimental speech. Thank you!" She says instead.

"Mention not. Now come, we have to tell the others too!"

~.~

As expected, the others don't take the news as sportingly as Sameer did.

Aisha, the she man of the team, openly cries in front of everyone.

Chotu whines like a small child and Shree wipes the corner of his eyes muttering something along the lines of "something went in my eyes."

Even Liza with whom she talks the least hugs her and tells her that she will miss her the most.

Everyone hugs her and offer their congratulations albeit a bit reluctantly. Everyone.. but him.

He simply stands in front of the murder board, deep in thought.

She gazes at him when Aisha shakes her by the shoulders.

"Sakshi you are leaving tomorrow! And it is only six. And the case is solved!"

Sakshi looks at her questioningly, unable to follow her train of thought.

This time, she doesn't address her. "Hey guys! Seriously, is this the way to say goodbye to a friend? C'mon, it's hardly six. We ought to give her a farewell party, right?"

There are roars of yeses as everyone cheers for Sakshi.

Sameer raises her eyebrow at Aisha but Aisha offers him her best puppy dog look. He shakes his head and mouths his approval as another round of applause goes for Sakshi.

Only one member objects. Obviously.

Arjun spoilsport Raute.

"This is not a place to have a party."

"Please Arjun sir, the case is solved, it is only six. Please?" Aisha begs.

"No."

Suddenly, Sakshi who has been quiet for a while now, speaks up. "It's okay, guys. We can have a party at my place. Will that be alright, Arjun?"

But Arjun only glares in response.

~.~

To say that the party is a hit would be the understatement of the day. No, make it a year. Understatement of the year.

Earlier when she had announced that the party be shifted to her place, it was only to spite Arjun. Honestly, she had no mood for a get together, much less for a party. Then there was the problem of accommodating hundreds of people. Now, her flat was spacious enough for the team but all of ETF? No, thank you very much.

However, what she had conveniently forgotten was that she had the best team in the world.

Sameer, Aisha, Shree and Chotu made the impossible, possible. They not only managed to convince the neighbors about using the courtyard (Once they knew they were the ETF, the neighbors were more than compliant!) they also managed to set up music, arrange the food and drinks and put up a big banner with words "We will miss you Sakshi" , all this within two hours.

So, now, she is lounging with Aisha, events of the past few days very much forgotten.

"So why are you actually leaving, Sakshi?" Aisha asks abruptly.

The girl in question chokes on her orange juice. But Aisha continues staring at her with hawk like expression.

"What-what do you mean?" she asks, wiping away the orange juice from her dress.

"You know exactly what I mean. I could not help but notice that you did not have your coffee today, you went to the hospital yesterday, and you are drinking orange juice. Orange juice?!" she points at it as if it is something distasteful and unhealthy.

"Jeez Aish, I am not drinking alcohol because I have a flight to catch tomorrow, okay? And a hangover is not something I would want. Now, stop looking at my orange juice like that.. Nadiaaa"

Aisha shoots daggers in her direction but otherwise says nothing. The thing is that once Aisha had told her about her brief stint as an undercover cop. She had told her that playing the role of Nadia had made her feel liberated. Those parties, those places had something hypnotizing in the air. The feel of losing oneself in a crowd of people was nothing sort of magical.

So, since that day, whenever Sakshi felt like pulling her leg, she would call her Nadia.

"What about coffee? What about visiting the doctor?" she again inquires after some time.

Shit! She is closing in!

"Well, I didn't feel like coffee today because I already had a cup in the morning. And as for visiting the doctor, I told you, I felt feverish."

She nods slowly, trying to digest the logic. But Sakshi can tell that she is not fully satisfied.

"No. The timing is a little too coincidental.. C'mon Sakshi we are best friends, right? You will tell me if something's happening in your life, won't you?" Aisha puts her drink down, giving her the best puppy dog look that she could muster. And maybe pouting a little too.

"Aisha.."

"Please?"

"Fine. I will tell you. But you have to promise me not to tell anyone. Not even Sameer."

"Okay.. Now please tell.." Her voice reflects her impatient look.

"I am pregnant," she blurts, loud enough for her to hear but not too loud.

The reaction is almost instantaneous. "WHAT??"

Thank goodness they were seated in a secluded corner otherwise-

"When did you know? Who is the guy? What are you going to do? Does that mean I get to be an aunt? Who all know? Now, I get it. Coffee makes you queasy, isn't it? How are you feeling? Do I know that guy?" and she rambles on.

"Shh.. Aisha. Shh!" Sakshi hushes her but Aisha is literally bouncing in her place. Who knew she could be so damn girly?!

"Sorry, sorry. One question at a time. Who is the father?"

"I can't tell you. Sorry."

Her brows furrow but she continues with her inquisition, nonetheless. "Does he know?"

Sakshi nods her head in affirmation.

"What was his reaction?"

He walked away. "He's not thrilled in the least." Well, that was true.

"Is that the reason why you are leaving? There is no job in London, is there?"

"No, no, there is a job. In fact there has been one since one week. But yesterday, when I got to know about my pregnancy, I decided to take it."

"Wait.. you are keeping that child??" she asks, incredulous.

Sakshi smiles wryly in response.

"You know, I think I need another drink." Saying thus, she walks towards the drink stall, leaving Sakshi to her own devices.

All of a sudden, she hears movement behind her. Someone overheard their conversation! When that realization hits home, fear as well as apprehension grip her. She turns just in time to find..

A/N: Haha... cliffhanger! But I know most of you might have guessed who it would be so... Well, this one is a helluva long update. Pats on my back! But on a serious note, I hope I did justice. And it was not that boring! The next part will have some serious convo between our leads and it would end on a happy note! Pinky promise!

Till then, read, like and comment! 😃

Next: Part 4