Originally posted by: vibz88
Congratulations dear ðĪ
ok hold ur breath!!!
1. Why do they cotton swab the guy's arm with rubbing alcohol before a lethal injection?
alcohol causes the blood vessels to rise to the surface, making it easier to insert the needle.
2. Why do 24 hour, 7 days a week (Including holidays!) Super Markets have locks on their door?
in case of an emergency like an evacuation, they'll need to lock the doors?
3. Why do Aliens abduct Humans if we are an inferior race?
to do experiments on us...we are their version of lab rats
4 Why are rat traps in the car-care section of my supermarket?
are they???
5.If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
er...no...yes...i don't know
6. When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
nope...they won't even have signs
7. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
nope
8. Do blind people feel 'Love at first sight'?
i don't think so...
9. Why is the meaning of life hard to find when you have a dictionary?
because the meaning of life is not the same for everyone...it's a subjective question...there's no objective answer to the meaning of life which is in my opinion what a dictionary gives
10. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?
because the word racist already meant something else before whoever created the English language realized that they needed a word for a race car driver???
11. Did Adam and Eve have navels?
no idea
12.
If a hen-and-a-half could lay an egg-and-a-half in a day-and-a-half,
how long would it take a monkey with a wooden leg to kick all the seeds
out of a dill pickle?
1 second??
13. Why do we park in a driveway and drive on the parkway?
English is a very complicated language...it's best not to question it's quirks...
14. Why is the word "abbreviation" so long?
is it really so long?? I've seen longer words!!!
15. Why is there no "w" in "one", but there is a "w" in "two" and we don't use it?
ask the people who decided that was how you spell the numbers one and two...
16. How do you know when you have run out of invisible ink?
I wouldn't know it has run out...and it wouldn't matter...you can just give someone a blank piece of paper and tell them to try to read it...just don't give it to some expert who knows how to make the invisible visible!!!
17. Why do kamikazes wear helmets?
to keep their ears warm
18. Can you stake a vampire with an artificial heart?
is the heart made of wood and has a sharp edge?
19. How long is a piece of string?
that's up to you isn't it...just unroll the string and cut it at the length you want
20. What's the best way to UN-teach a child to put a plastic bag on his/her head?
uh...
21. Are shart* and skid marks** caused by the same thing?
no??? yes???
22. At a movie theatre You are asked, " Hey, what are you doing here?"
I'm stalking you!!!
23. Now that Microsoft is so big, should it be called Macrosoft?
nope...
24.
You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes?
Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
The material that the black box is made of is too heavy...A whole plane made of the same material (All stainless steel), it would have a hard time getting off the ground and would be ridiculously expensive.
25. Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
thanks for the idea...
26. Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
one of the quirks of the English language
27. Why is the word dictionary in the dictionary?
because it's a word...and a dictionary gives the meaning of words
28. Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
because that's when every tom, dick, harry and jane is stuck on the road going somewhere
29. Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?
because it's the hand that indicates seconds
30. Why is it that night falls but day breaks?
it has something to do with darkness and light...
31. Why is it that only adults have difficulty with childproof bottles?
I don't know
32. Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?
ask an English teacher
33. Why is it that to stop Windows 95, you have to click on "Start"?
because it's the beginning of the end when you click start to stop windows
34. Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
better concentration
35. Why is it you must wait until night to call it a day?
because a day is 24 hours??
36,
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid
made with real lemonsWhy is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of
that song?
I don't know about the lemon juice, but for dishwashing soaps, real lemons are used for the citrus acid in the lemons which helps remove grease...
because the greek alphabet was translated into english. the song came after the alphabet was created
37. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
because he loses your money in the investment???
38. If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
i don't know
39. In court, why do they ask if you swear to tell the truth? If
you're planning on lying, do they really think you'll tell them so?
the whole point is for you to swear on oath. this means that if you tell an untruth you are guilty of perjury "lying"
40. Instead of wasting time hunting and cooking, why don't hunters just use flame-throwers?
do you want them to burn the place (wherever they hunt) down???
41. If your car says Dodge on the front of it, do you really need a horn?
yes
42. If you're a kleptomaniac, is there something you can take for it?
not that i know of..but you can join a support group to overcome it
43. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
both??
44. If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?
2 things...it's probably was a lame joke...or you're alone and talking to yourself
45. If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter?
no...and why would you throw a cat out of a car window...that's just cruel!!!!
46. Why is it called a "building" when it is already built?
i don't know
47. Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?
because it comes in a stick that you apply to your lips
48. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
you want to go to jail????
49. Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
to protect the body from being detected by wild animals looking for food and to make it difficult for grave robbers
50.Why is it that bullets ricochet off of Superman's chest, but he ducks when the gun is thrown at him?
ask Superman!!!
51.Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
because they practice their skills on patients
52. Why is it that famous people are always born on holidays?
are they??
53. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Air cures, or hardens the glue..Inside the bottle, there isn't any air to do this...
54. Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
he saw Jane and fell in love so shaved it off before she sees him to woo her...I don't know!!!
55. Why doesn't the fattest man in the world become a hockey goalie?
that would be cheating???
56. Why don't they just make food stamps edible?
dunno
57. Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
because that would mean the person who won probably cheated??
58. Why get even, when you can get odd?
i like being odd...sometimes
59. Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
repeated question
60. Why is a boxing ring square?
ask the creators of the sport...
61. Why is a women's prison called a penal colony?
I didn't know that...i thought it's just call women's prison!!!
62. Why is brassiere singular and panties plural?
English is complicated
63. Why is clear considered a color?
no idea
64. If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
because work is not terrific at all
65. If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?
do you mean antipastO??? no i don't think i would still be hungry
66. If you can wave a fan, and you can wave a club, can you wave a fan club?
you can wave AT a fan club
67. If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?
for the drunks to sleep in their car overnight
68. If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? <
red?
69. If you didn't get caught, did you really do it?
what do you think? ð
70. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
yes ð
71. If peanut butter cookies are made from peanut butter, then what are Girl Scout cookies made out of?
Girls??? ðē ðē ðē ðē
72. If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit?
it's probably dead...the poor thing
73. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
repeated question
74. If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags?
what bags? there's no bags in a vacuum
75. If Superman is so smart why does he wear his underpants over his trousers?
who said Superman was smart?
76. If swimming is good for your shape, then why do the whales look like the way they do?
i don't know
77. If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
ermmm
78. If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off?
no...you might have another funeral the next day!!!!
79. If the product says "Do not use if seal is broken", how are you supposed to open it and use it?
80. If tin whistles are made out of tin, what do they make fog horns out of?
liquid nitrogen
81. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game," when we are already there?
because the game hasn't started..it's a song who cares???
82. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
to get rid of dust and germs gathered after drying on them...
83. Why do wise guy and wise man mean entirely different things?
English is complicated
84. Why do you feet smell and your nose runs?
English is complicated
85. Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
to check the age limit if you're allowed to drink??
86. Why do you need an appointment to see a psychic?
because I want to know what is going to happen in the future?
87. Why does a dishtowel get wet when it dries?
because is soaks up the water from the wet dishes
88. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
I think Goofy is actually a man...a witch cursed him to look like a dog...
89. Why does it take 15 minutes to cook minute rice?
no idea
90. Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?
I'm sure there's a scientific answer to this...
91. If I save time, when do I get it back?
you never get it back
92. If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
glue?
93.
Why do tourists go to the top of tall buildings and then put money in
telescopes so they can see things on the ground in close-up?
because they are mad??
94. Why do we call something sent by car a shipment and something sent by ship a cargo?
English is complicated
95. Why do we kill people for killing people to show that killing is wrong?
to show that justice is served?
96. Why do we need training bras? What can we teach them?
ermmm...
97. Why do we put shirts in a suitcase, and put suits in a garment bag?
because we fold the shirts but not the suits?????
98. Why do we say "a pair of pants" when there is only one article of clothing involved?
it has 2 legs?
99. Why do they make scented toilet paper?
the same reason they make air fresheners to be put in toilets
100. Why do they call it quicksand when it sucks you down slowly?
This would have to do with the fact that the harder you fight to get out, the faster it swallows you whole
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