#GOTW- CRACK A JOKE# : D - Page 2

UMDU

@UMDU

IF-Dazzler

Posted: 11 years ago

#11

Nice way to keep ourselves occupied.Let me try some.

1. Teacher: What is the chemical formula of water?

Student: HIJKLMNO

Teacher: What is this?

Student: You only told us yesterday it is H to O

2. Santa: Is dunia main kitne desh hain.

Banta: Ek hi tho desh hain India baki sab to videsh hain.

3.Santa: Ek baar mere upar se gaadi nikal gayi phir bhi main bach gaya.

Banta: Is me kaun se badi baat hain.Mere upar se kai baar aeroplane nikal chuka hai phir main zinda hoon.

4. Drunk wife pointing the torch at it : Look there is the moon if you love me get it for me na..

Husband who is equally drunk: Do you take me to be a fool. If I try to reach the moon through the light and you switch off the torch won't I fall down.

5. Santa and his wife had a child after 3 months of marriage.Santa got suspicious and asked his wife how that is possible.

Biwi: Aap ki shaadi ke kitne mahine hui

Santa Teen mahine

Biwi: Meri shaadi ko

Santa: Teen mahine

Biwi.Bacha kitne mahino main hua

Santa: Teen mahino main.

Smiling Santa said ab mujhe samaj main aaya nau mahine kaise hui.

6. Santa to a shopkeeper; Do you have a very good quality Dettol soap.

Shopkeeper: Yes Yes we have.how many do you want?

Santa: Are you sure it is of good quality?

Shopkeeper: Of course it is how many should I pack?

Santa: Can you show them to me?

Shopkeeper took it out having an irritated expression

Santa: Wash your hands with this and get me 5 kgs atta.

7. Santa to railway TT : When will the train to Jalandhar come?

TT: 7.30

Santa: Train to Gwalior?

TT: 8

Santa: Train to Bhopal?

TT 6, Lekin aap ko jaana kahan hain?

Santa: kahi nahi sirf track cross karna tha.

8. Santa: I am a proud father today my son is in a medical college.

Banta: Congrats what is he studying?

Santa: He is not studying anything they are studying him.

Edited by UMDU - 11 years ago

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Monika Reddy

@monika_2691

Goldie

Posted: 11 years ago

#12

Whenever I Find The key To Success, Someone Changes The Lock.
2. The Road To Success Is Always Under Construction ;-)
3. In Order To Get A Loan, You First Need To Prove That You Don't Need It :-P
4. All The Desireable Things In Life Are Either Illegal, Expensive Or Married :-P
5. Once You Have Bought Something, You Will Find The Same Item Being Sold Somewhere Else At A Cheaper Rate :-DEdited by monika_2691 - 11 years ago

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714448

Inactive

Posted: 11 years ago

#13

Now some quick one-liners from my end 🤓

1) Helpdesk : Sir, you need to add 10GB space to your HD , Customer : Could you please tell where I can download that?🤣

2) Once I got this error on my Linux box: Error. Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue 🤣

3) Bugs come in through open Windows🤣

4) All computers run at the same speed... with the power off🤣

5) NASA uses Windows? Oh great. If Apollo 13 went off course today the manual would just tell them to open the airlock, flush the astronauts out, and re-install new one🤣

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714448

Inactive

Posted: 11 years ago

#14

two atoms walk into a bar.
one atom says to the other atom "oh no, I've lost an electron!"
the other atom says "omg are you sure?"
the first atom replies "yes, I'm positive"😆

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Udhay only

@Udhay

IF-Stunnerz

+ 5

Posted: 11 years ago

#15

A student was feeling sleepy. His head was going down n down due to sleep..
Teacher comes & asks,"what's this"?
Student: GRAVITATIONAL FORCE!!

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714448

Inactive

Posted: 11 years ago

#16

A woman sees her dentist charging thrice the normal bill.
She asks the reason annoyingly.
The dentist replied--> " Ma'm, your scream made two patients flee the clinic and run away." 😆

6

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714448

Inactive

Posted: 11 years ago

#17

Judge – You are crossing the limits.
Lawyer – Kaun Saala aisa kehta hai?
Judge – How dare you call me saala?
Lawyer – My Lord, I said kaun 'Sa Law' kehta hai?

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714448

Inactive

Posted: 11 years ago

#18

Bad luck while sending sms 😳

Girl: hi baby. :)
.
Boy: hi my lovely..
(sending failed)
.
Girl: are u there...??
.
Boy: yes ! yes i am here!
(sending failed)
girl: are u ignoring me or
what...??
.
Boy: honey im not... im here..
(sending failed)
girl: ok! it's over: dont u ever
talk to me again!
.
Boy: DAMN! go to hell ! >.<
.
.
(message sent)

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714448

Inactive

Posted: 11 years ago

#19

After our Last Argument,
I Told My Girlfriend,

"I Hope Your Next Boyfriend
Appreciates The Improvements
I've Made In You . . ." 😛

5

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714448