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Onir

@Onir

IF-Rockerz

Posted: 11 years ago

#41

As always...👏👏

Loved the whole description, of when she fainted & he bore her weight on him - the subtle ways of stating the deep connection between them. His pondering - her drifting far away into a state of unconsciousness, where she even in that state clung to him as in "her hand nestling against his chest" but his fate (which also made the weird circumstances they meet each other, her being married & not available to him.) again played spoil-sport by her hand slipping in the curve of her waist as he adjusts her.

He noticing & trying to add meaning to all these minute actions shows his longing & craving to hold onto such memories with all his being, if not store them within him for sustainance.

Loved it... ... he is a man of few words & his actions speaks for him, & he percieves such actions very precious.Edited by Onir - 11 years ago

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Onir

@Onir

IF-Rockerz

Posted: 11 years ago

#42

I also really like the way you include the convos between all the characters of your story...

I know that the main leads are M-G, but yet you don't fail to make us aware of the others too in the picture... especially Meera & Yash. They have very few lines in comparision to M-G, but even the few lines they say are quite impactful & bang on... they deliver the message home.

Showing Yash's trust on Maan by the simple way of him saying that he could sleep knowing that Maan was with the 2 girls... Afterall he is supposed to be the man with these two girls of his life but his conveying of gratitude was too good. Edited by Onir - 11 years ago

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Onir

@Onir

IF-Rockerz

Posted: 11 years ago

#43

You know I so much so wanted that Geet would address the sit-out as chath... as in the earlier version. Really missed it...

Don't ask me why, cause I myself don't know ... its just that I'm slightly fixated with that word. For me somewhere that word symbolised something that only M-G would use, somekind of code word. As everyone calls it sit-out but only they could've relate with the word "chat" for it, as thats where they've made some of their most memorable moments... that each time tested as well as made their bond stronger. Also it so much is in sync with her dream of building a home...

Really superb means by which you connect your updates. Each one has some carryover effect from the earlier parts.

Last time when these 2 were at the gym sit-out during the KC night... the wind was whispering & hiding their desires, guilt, attraction, pain, also hope for coming off the shackles that Geet was bound to. This time the wind was whoosing, with no gentleness in it - sort of showing their restlessness, apprehension, emptyness, doubts of future...

But then as Maan stepped into the sit-out (in a way of coming closer to her), it staRted raining - like there was washing off the restlessness within them leaving behind a soothing feeling to comfort them. It was more of sheilding them within its showers that these two soulS didn't even feel the need of sheltering themselves from the downpour.

Its really beautiful to see the way in which you always describe & use nature to connect them, & natural elements being witness to their Promises. hopes & bonding. (all the instances even for that matter, with the earth-moon analouge, the sun rising on their trip back from Toronto, the central park promise... many more) 👏 Edited by Onir - 11 years ago

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Onir

@Onir

IF-Rockerz

Posted: 11 years ago

#44

Their almost hug ... beautiful... actually can't be described. It was not only comforting them, but creating a comforting & beautiful picture perfect moment within my mind.

...He hadn't seen that moment in the making, but with its coming into being, it appeared as though the knowledge of it had awaited out, under the surface of such moments he had held her hand - but never quite like this and this one would never compare to all those that had gone by or those that might be of the future. Unlike the others, this one fragment of time had its own place without bearing any existential qualms as they did.

Beautiful way of stating his moments of guilt when he tried to seek such moments of feeling a sense of serenity, that was outlived by a true hearfelt hug.. Also his way of unknowingly hoping for such nuggets of memories in future. The moment is & will always be the most treasured memory for him... (or even her ...) as seen in the last line - ...Amongst it all, there was also him. And there was her.

Edited by Onir - 11 years ago

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honeygrape

@honeygrape

IF-Rockerz

Posted: 11 years ago

#45

beautiful part...love the way you portray their moments...totally loved the part

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mayukha

@mayukha

Groupbie

Posted: 11 years ago

#46

Originally posted by: 6th.Element
Re-heated Biryani? 😆

Infusing the flavors into the grain is best done in a handi over smoldering embers. I hope you didn't mean this was stuck in a microwave, the fast food way and served slapdash.

Rebecca's veil...Hmm! Picture tho abhi bakhi hain, mere dost...

No microwave biryani for me. There are certain things that I absolutely prefer the authentic way and biryani is one such.

Not that I don't like the freshly cooked but I can't explain why I love the re-heated one more.

That extra zing that comes with it is unmatching and just takes it to another level. The Melange of spices all in a blend yet not losing their individual flavor.

May be this is more like my hot chocolate thing.😃

Love

Mayukha

Edited by mayukha - 11 years ago

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Doracake

@Doracake

IF-Rockerz

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

#47

Fabulous update Hasini!

Hats off! Leaves me craving for more!!!!

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KamliKudi

@KamliKudi

IF-Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

#48

Loved it!! Can't wait for the next part ...

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749230

Posted: 11 years ago

#49

Originally posted by: Onir

You know I so much so wanted that Geet would address the sit-out as chat... as in the earlier version. Really missed it...

Don't ask me why, cause I myself don't know ... its just that I'm slightly fixated with that word. For me somewhere that word symbolised something that only M-G would use, somekind of code word.

You caught my contemplation there. I did meditate on it for the longest time and then gave up. But I only needed a push to go back to calling it Chath.

"Chath pe..." she said, her voice a meek whisper, "Can you come over? I want to meet you..."

He didn't need her to tell him what she meant by Chath and he liked that she referred to it as Chath - instead of sit-out - making it more personal, when the common area was impersonal at best.

Originally posted by: Onir

Afterall he is supposed to be the man with these two girls of his life

He will in due time. 😊 A look into his future.

He looked left and then right and before she could shake her head again for good measure, so that he wouldn't approach him with his proposal again, he dropped to his knees in broad daylight and in the view of all Broadway to see his mighty pleading, "Please...just this once," his eyes wheedling her to give in, while his fingers conjoined as if in prayer.

"Are you crazy, Yash? Get up. Now!" she said, pulling him up, her eyes wide with embarrassment that she was ready to leave NY for good.

Edited by 6th.Element - 11 years ago

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609931

Posted: 11 years ago

#50

Apologies H, I can barely keep my eyes open, I am down with a fever :( hence the delayed & not very detailed comment.

Just wanted to say that I loved everything about this chapter, and the handhold part was definitely worth a special mention - it does indeed signify something much more than friendship between the two.

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New York Times - Imp Note: Page 52 - Page 5

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