A Lost Battle -SwaRon OS- Part 2 updated.

"What's got in to you Sharon" I snapped at myself.

My cousin on the other hand kept telling me something her hand gestures suggested the performance was finally over.

I clapped not because I gave any attention to there performance but because I had seen them perform many times before and they were good, really good.

Had to be they were students from one of the most prestigious dance academy in the world. "The Prabhu deva dance Academy"

Again my thoughts wavered on him I was helpless when it came to him. It's only been four months since I knew him but I always felt a weird connection with him. I for once was breaking my own rule

"There's no such thing called Destiny"

Everything happens the way you plan them to be. That's when I felt two hands on my shoulders and I realize Sneha was standing in front of me.

I am sorry, what's up ' I asked

Lets go shopping you are leaving in two days remember. We have lots to do and very little time.

"Leaving in two days" I couldn't make peace with the fact that I am leaving back to US. I most certainly knew the reason behind. It was him it had to be him. What I didn't know was what to do about it. 

Sneha didn't see Swayam today I casually asked on our way to the mall.

She smirked ' Look who's asking. You were no less than a bitch pushing him away and raising your voice in front of everyone. Look I have no idea what happened between you guys, but what you did was no right either.

OUCH ' that hurt my face went pale

Sneha seem to have noticed the same and continued

You know he'd called asked me if you were doing ok.

Haaan  - and what did you say?

Am I missing something here ' questioned Sneha in a stern voice?

Ahhh ' No No Nothing I stammered.

Sneha just received a call and thanks to the almost still traffic I found myself drifting to the beautiful moments we'd spend together. 

We had become good friends in the last four months. Sneha being busy with her studies Swayam took responsibility to show me around the city.

Swayam Shikawat a Calcullta boy staying in Chennai for his studies and passion "Dance" On just in first meeting anyone would know how well mannered he was.

A dancers body, a heavenly smile and the most powerful captivating eyes I have ever seen. That's Swayam for you.

We'd talk about everything and anything under the sky.

From discussing the Lok pall bill to the latest movie Avengers. We sure had very different opinions about almost everything except may be food.

We both loved Italian and Mexican cuisine, after Indian of course.

But it was always fun debating with him. 

It was a Sunday morning the phone buzz disturbed my peaceful sleep, while my eyes were still closed I answered the phone.

Hey good morning ' I heard a sweet voice.

Swayam You? Do you even know what time it is? I said in a sleepy tone.

Do you? He replied

Will you be up for a jogging this beautiful morning?

Are you for real ' I almost yelled

Hey sorry if I bothered, no worries go back to your beauty sleep he said in a rather offensive tone.

I am in ' I immediately replied back.

That's more like the gal I know, happiness obvious in his voice

Acha ' So you think you know me haan?

That..th..

Before Swayam said anything more i cut him off

Never mind pick me in 20 minutes, will be ready by then.

In the car I asked so where to?

SW - He smiled and replied ' jogging

SH - Duh ' But where, I mean to which park?

SW - You are in Chennai you know that right

SH - As a matter of fact I do, so?

SW -Just sit back and enjoy the drive you will know soon enough.

The morning drive was so pleasant misty wind minimal traffic it was the best drive I had in India for sure.

The cool breeze started playing around my hair, that's when I realize. The beach and I quite literally jumped off the car.

The beach how can I forget the beach we'd had so much of fun, the cool breeze

And open sky was a plus.

Marina Beach supposedly the second longest Beach in the world.

There were many other morning persons just like Swayam, jogging around. Few kids were playing in the sand trying their hands at making a castle or something.

There were group of kids playing cricket ' IPL was in season..

Time flew and now the street vendors had started arranging their shops. 

After the pleasant jog we made a move to the best coffee house here in Chennai, so was I told.

I was not a coffee person but to my surprise I loved it. One of those guilty pleasures added to my list I thought. 

Once back home a quick shower and in no time I was ready for our extravagant shopping experience Swayam had promised.

I sneaked around without Sneha noticing don't ask why I just didn't want any of her quirky comments to disturb the otherwise perfect start of the day. 

Swayam I am impressed you are man of your words, exactly on time. So where are you taking me Mister.

SW ' You know you ask hell lot of questions, keep patience, you will know sooner.

He was dressed in a casual jean and a white shirt. He was more in to casual clothing I noticed, but he sure looked cute in whatever he'd choose to wear. I started feeling a weird attraction towards him, I found myself looking at him more than usual, and I knew for certain he was no different. I could feel his constant gaze on me many a times.

This time of the day we hit more traffic then usual, we were debating on some random topic that's when a bike came in front of our car from no where. With the sudden jerk I found myself back in to the real world.

In the car this time Sneha beside me.

Where were you lost, she asked.

I just gave a faint smile

Are we there yet?

Yeah we are chal lets go. 

IT was the same mall swayam took me shopping to, we had so much of fun that day. I did lots of shopping for both of us. He did not complain much for the amount of time I had spent in each store. Perfect boy friend types I had thought. 

WTH is wrong with you Sharon, I questioned myself.

Every small and big thing reminded me of him.

This had to stop, What about RAJ?

Raj's my friend back in US. Everyone knows his hearts on me. My sister Priya thinks he's the perfect life parter for me. My Jeej and mom are no different. My mom is happy just by the fact of him being from South India as we are. Though I have stayed more so in northern India and US my mom never let's me forget for a sec that I am a Malayali.

My sis got married out of our caste and things got quite messy then. I never understood as to why? Its not like he was an alien.

Anyhow what mattered the most is that they are happy and things were back to normalcy.

But my mom's dream of getting me married to a guy of her choice was finally taking shape.

All these thoughts back of my head were driving me crazy.

Enough  ' I yelled

What in world is wrong with you gal ' Sneha yelled back.

I-I-I m sorry I stammered while giving her a nervous half smile.

Lets go home at once- she said

Hmmn I noded ' affirmative

Even once home his thoughts followed suit they were haunting me scary now.

Why did I have to come to India why did I meet him? And why the hell did I feel something for him. All these questions were causing havoc to my otherwise perfect life.

I had to talk to him. Clear few things out of my system.

I will be leaving to US tomorrow I have to meet him before that. I thought out loud.

I messaged him "we need to talk"

With in no time I got his reply

"Sure whatever, msg me the time and place"

I could sense pain even in his messages. After all what I did to him, I deserve every bid of rudeness from him.

I tried to get some sleep but in vain. All I could think of was what happened to the beautiful friendship we shared.

Life happened I sneered & we both were falling for each other without us knowing.

Any normal gesture meant something completely new and special now.

IT was like his sole existence in the world is to be around me.

His touch brought with it the strongest sense of warmth. And slowly I started longing for his warm touch his care for me, his complete attention just for me. 

What happened four days before was something that started as the most magical day and turned to be the worst nightmare.

It was his b'day.

I didn't know many people around to have planned a party for him. But Swayam had planned a perfect date for just the two of us.

It was at his Beach house, which BTW was an architectural wonder by itself, why not both his parents were famous Builders in Australia. And he himself was studying to be an Architect. He was in his final year.

The beach side view just added to its charm.

He sure knew how to woo a gal. I was welcomed to a beautiful sight.

The porch was well decorated with orchids and candles everywhere.

Wow its beautiful Swayam ' excitement vivid in my voice 

Sw ' You like it I am glad.

Sh ' Aww how sweet of you, I said while pulling his cute cheeks. 

WE strolled around the beach hand in hand and had the perfect meal cooked to perfection.

Lobster Raivoli paired with the perfect champagne I tasted ever.

Sh ' Thank you so much for the perfect evening Swayam.

Sw- Oh come on Pleasure is all mine. Thanks for making my b'day such a memorable one ' he said smiling.

WE both sat outside on the porch with moonlight playing its magic on us, I realized we were very close, dangerously close.

The thought oh him being so close compelled me to blush, which didn't go unnoticed by Swayam..He moved a little away not wanting me to get uncomfortable.

The cold breeze kept playing around with my hair, he leaned forward and pulled my hair all this while looking directly in to my eyes, as if asking for something.

He took my hand in to his.

Sw ' Can I ask you something Sharon, do you really have to go this soon. Can't you stay.

SH - I smiled - you know na Swayam that's not possible.

I said while looking in to his beautiful brown eyes.

Along the usual spark in his eyes I could see something more. LOVE "for me"

There were asking me something. Even in the cold weather his touch was warm and pleasant. I was taking pleasure being so close to him, something inside me was very happy.

He moved his face closer to mine, I shut my eyes at once, I could feel his warm breath over me, I slowly opened my eyes and he placed a feather soft kiss on my cheeks, I instantly smiled and blushed all together at once.

Then he placed several kisses on my neck to shoulder, his eyed my lips this time. I gasped at once but then looked straight in to his eyes, knowing what's coming my way I shyed away and tried getting up he pulled me by my waist towards him making me fall right over him. I closed my eyes and that's when I felt his oh so sweet lips over mine.

He kissed me with all the love in the whole world.

I tried coming out of it but in vain, it was like I didn't want to.

When finally I started giving in he parted '

SW ' I am sorry I am so sorry. I should have known you and Raj right..

Sh -I was shocked to death did I really hear him say that after the perfect kiss we just shared.

It hurt me rather killed me.

Right it was the champagne ' I should have known

I left as soon as I could before tears started rolling down my cheeks. 

The sun had started making its appearance at its usual time through our window.

The harsh rays made me open my eyes it was my last day in India. My flight was early morning tomorrow.

I had to meet him today, I needed closure as a matter of fact we both did.

It was not that he didn't apologize after that night he did and I for sure knew he was genuinely sorry. And how can I blame just him, what he said and where it came from was partially my fault too. I had told him about Raj few times before. Initially it didn't matter but later, I started using Raj as bait to make Swayam jealous. I told him about our almost kiss. I am not very proud of what I did back then.

I was done with my packing. I double-checked my sister's list to see if I had packed everything on her list.

I got ready and left to his place where we decided to meet.

I took a taxi and didn't bother asking Sneha.

Why were things so difficult between us, why can't I accept my feeling for him just once. I had always had trouble facing extreme emotions, there scared me, more so after what happened when I was 10.

I had a perfect fairly tale life when I was growing up. My dad was in defence an Airforce officer. My sister who was 6 years elder to me, and my beautiful mom made a perfect family. We were in Bhuj Gujrat and my dad was posted in Bareily Delhi. We were to join him in two weeks time. My mom received a call and all I knew was we had to leave to Delhi at once, my day was ill as I was told. My mom and sis were crying I had no idea for so why, I on the other hand was happy that I finally get to see my dad and boost all about my mid-term marks. We reached Delhi and were taken to a house, I had no idea who it belonged to, everyone were sad and finally someone made me sit next to my mom and sister. They broke the news to us, my mom and Sister started crying uncontrollably by now, I could still not understand as to why.

I knew what Death meant, but didn't know it could happen to someone I love the most. I remember how everyone had asked me to cry, and I couldn't nope not a single drop of tear. I just held my sisters hand and asked where is daddy. Is he angry because I kept torturing him for things, please tell him I wouldn't anymore.

My sister took me in her arms and said, No daddy is not angry on you, he's just gone ehh to a better place to serve our country she finished. He knows that I am there to look after you. Since then it's been my sister who took care of me as a matter of fact my mom too.

I could never come in terms with my father's untimely death. I grew up but the fear within me never left.

I always feared being very happy and loved since then what if it was to be taken from me, I wont survive another blow to my heart.

I feared someone's love showered upon me and to take it all away in a moment.

It was then when for a man I loved so dearly I couldn't shed a drop of tear as his absence left me hollow from within.  And it's now when I cant seem to have any control over my tears because I am leaving the man I love so passionately.

If I consider for us to give a chance what if he breaks my heart, worse what If I break his heart or he leaves me to serve the country as dad'NOOO

Mam are you ok ' I heard the concerned voice of the driver.

650 Rs. he said while giving me the bill. We had reached. I straightened myself and got down from the car and paid the cab driver.

I was finally there I saw him in the garden casually dressed and nervously walking around.  I knew he was angry and hurt for what I did to him in the rehearsal hall the other day. I blamed the whole incident on him and called him a loser in front of everyone in the class. I also knew his anger would melt away like fresh snow the moment he saw me. When finally I was up closed he noticed me, gave a light smile and we stood there in silence. While I was giving some serious thoughts on how to start and what to say,

He said

Hey how have you been?

Sh - Good very much the same you last saw me.

Sw - Oh so still angry on me.

Sh ' No No..not at all. It's all good.

Sw ' Really , really Sharon

You know you can't lie to me..you

I cut him in

Sh ' haaan why can't I

Sw- So you agree you are lying then..

Sh ' No NO.. ok..yes So? ' I said raising my eyebrows and voice.

Sw- nothing can't we talk normally like we used to before.

Sh ' I am sorry, sure we can.

Sw ' No don't be if anyone who's sorry it's me Sorry for being the jerk I was.

Sh ' In that case I am sorry for being the bitch I was.

We both laughed and things lightened up.

Sw -Will you give me the pleasure of your company and have dinner with me.

Sh ' Sure like a dat..  I bit both my words and my tongue.

Sure why not the last dinner '.. with you

He gave me a fake smile and said lets go.

We spend some time just talking just like before no extra baggage. Just enjoying each other's blissful company.

What followed was yet another beautiful meal.

Yummy Swayam who is your cook? I need to tell him how good this biriyani is.

Go ahead you can tell me ' he replied

I guess you didn't hear me right, I said I want to tell him/her in person.

With a lil smile playing around his face he proudly said ' you are talking to him Madam.

I was surprised, he'd told me once that he enjoyed cooking and loved cooking for special people.

Wow you are really good Swayam if you had told me before I could have learned a thing or few from you.

Sw ' Its not late you still can why don't you reconsider your decision.

Sh ' Swayam please lets not talk about it.

Sw ' Fine I wont "happy now" he said while quoting with his hands.

That's when I noticed the time.

What' its 10 already. I have a flight to catch. I screamed.

Sw ' Relax relax Sharon wait I will drop you at the airport ask Sneha to bring in your luggage.

While in car it felt like something good was coming to an end.  I started felling gloomy. I just placed my head over his shoulder and he instantly caressed my hair and said you know I will miss you right.

I will miss you too I replied at once.

WE didn't talk anything else throughout the journey. It was like we both agreed it to be the fate and he didn't want to make it any more uncomfortable for me then it already was.

We reached the airport Sneha thankfully was already there.

There you are she came running and hugged me tight. Your last day in country and you didn't spend any time with me, the moment she saw Swayam, I know you had more important people to bid farewell to.

Sneha..i hushed her

Sneha and I were talking and I could feel his constant gaze on me, but every time I'd look he'd turn around the other way immediately.

It was time for me to go in, I hugged Sneha and asked if I can have a private moment with Swayam. She nodded and left.

Swayam I called

Thank you for every thing thank you for being the best friend to me.

He didn't say a word but his eyes spoke a million words.

I wanted to hear his voice, my name sounded so sweet when he'd call, I wanted to hear it one last time. But it was like he had sworn not to utter a word.

I gave him a side hug and said bye.

He still didn't say a word..just nodded.

I moved towards the entrance I had only taken a few steps but had the sudden urge to look back at his handsome face one last time.

But he was nowhere to be seen. I panicked and then took it to be a sign that we were never meant to be.

That's when I heard his sweet voice calling my name

SHARON

I could feel my name echoing in my heart brain in every damm part of my body and soul.

Once I spotted him through the crowd, I saw him walking towards me.

I just wanted to run in to his arms and engulf him in to a tight hug.

Sharon he said

After a few seconds of silence I waited for him to say something more, but when he didn't I realized his eyes were doing the talking for him.

They begged for giving him a chance "us" a chance.

Tears waiting to rush down any moment in both our eyes I leaned in forward and kissed his cheeks and forehead.

Bye Swayam I whispered.

I moved towards the entrance and not looking back for once, as I knew this time I may not have the courage to move away from him after all. 

For the first time in life SHARON had lost a game not playing fair, which she knew she was destined to WIN.

Part 2 - One heart Missing - Page 11