HOW TO ANNOY THE DEATH EATERS

50 NEW Ways to Annoy Voldemort

1. Tell him he looks like a snowman on crack.

2. Find old newspapers and read loudly about Harry's triumph over him.

3. Fill his room with Precious Moments figurines.

4. Try to teach him about photosynthesis.

5. Every three minutes ask him if he needs a Care Bear hug.

6. At the next Death Eater meeting tell him you invited ten "nice men from the Ministry" to come over for tea.

7. Try to convert him to Christianity.

8. Every time he enters a room play the beginning of the Phantom of the Opera Overture.

9. Constantly quote Monty Python. At the end of each skit nudge him hard and say, "That on was a good one, eh? Eh?"

10. Every time he 'rewards' you, say (in monotone), "Oh joy. Now I can retire..."

11. Every time he attempts to speak yell, "BOO!" and throw rotten tomatoes at him.

12. Do something odd. When he asks what you're doing, tell him you're trying to come up with more ways to annoy him.

13. When he praises you for a job well done start singing "That's What Friends Are For."

14. Yell at him in a foreign language. Use his name as much as you can even if it's nonsense.

15. After his every sentence say, "And God save the Queen, amen!"

16. Sing "His Name is Lancelot" from Spamalot, but replace the name with Voldemort. (Yes, I know it doesn't rhyme. If you want to be a perfectionist go ahead and change the rest of the song...)

17. Tell him that you know a good place for anger management. Repeat until he twitches (or kills you).

18. Tell him you're going to McDonalds. Ask him in an adult-talking-to-a-small-child voice if he wants a Happy Meal.

19, Replace all of his robes with pink bathrobes.

20. Make a cheer for him. Demonstrate every change you get.

21. Recite Dr. Suess to him.

22. Play Broadway Musicals loudly, nonstop.

23. Continually 'trip' by him and fall on him as hard as you can while being 'inconspicuous'.

24. Ask him if he's a vampire.

25. When he is sleeping draw on his face with a permanent marker.

26. Paint everything white. When he enters and speaks gasp and look around wildly. Ask, "I hear you, sir, but where are you?" He's obviously blending in with the paint.

27. Cover everything with Sticky Notes that say, "Harry Potter Hearts Voldemort!"

28. Tell him that you bought a store for him. Mention that Vold-E-Mart would be a cute name.

29. Name his hands Gary and Rod.

30. When he has a large group of people around him say loudly, "Max called last night, by the way. He says that the date is canceled, but that he still loves his Voldy-puff."

31. Tell him that the 'test' came in, and YES he is pregnant.

32. Hum classical music off-tone.

33. Every other day send him flowers and a card confessing Snape's love for him. (Note: This may also annoy Snape).

34. Every time he passes whisper, "Gorgonzola cheese..."

35. To the Spiderman tune sing, "Voldemort, Voldemort, he has a really big wart. He's uncool, he's so lame – I bet he'd be creamed by a dame."

36. Ask him if he's ever defiled the Lord's tabernacle.

37. Glare and say, "You aren't nearly as cool as Chuck Norris!"

38. Get an electric pencil sharpener. Get a very long pencil. Sharpen it until it won't sharpen anymore. Do so in the middle of a speech, if you can.

39. Speak only in Pig Latin to him. Example: Voldemort would become Oldemort-vay. Voldemort might be stupid Oldemort-vay ight-may e-bay tupid-say. (Ebay...cacklesnort)

40. When he gets angry ask, "Aw... Does Voldie want his pacifier?"

41. Knit a sweater while he's plotting world domination or whatever.

42. Tell him that he obsesses over that Potter kid much too much. Ask if you should send a box of chocolates to him with Voldemort's name on the card.

43. Even though he protests, take into action the second sentence in #42

44. Say, "No one loves you 'cause you're not Irish."

45. Take erasers and chalk. Put the erasers in the chalk and bang together vigorously. Repeat.

46. Say, "yes chief," backwards every time he give you an order. Feihc sey (Fee-ah-hic say)

47. Sing the Badger song. (Note: This will also annoy everyone else in the room.)

48. Yell randomly, "IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL!"

49. Install a fire alarm. Pull the fire alarm.

50. Every time he says Harry Potter's or Dumbledore's name stand up and yell, "SHING! Sparkle sparkle..."