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Hey guys!
haha
In love with ASR more than ever...he looked so so amazing..almost a perfect specimen of MANKIND!
😉
Those shades..those clothes..beautiful...those looks, those words...those emotions..
Barun Sobti needs to take a bow!!
😳⭐️👏
The change sanaya showed as khushi when confronted with this Arnav-was too good!
I had gone to the mandir, to get the pooja samagri, and somewhere in my gloom, I saw khushi standing..with her parents, I assume. I didn't want to see her..not today..not when I couldn't be...myself..as she knew it..
While I was talking to Panditji- I saw a girl..sitting alone and crying... I told him I'll talk to him in a bit and walked upto the kid.
I asked her why was it that she cried..but she gave no answer. Asked her where were her parents and she answered that her mom was crying and papa was in the hospital. I gave her my hanky and she blew her nose soundly...eww. but okay.
She continued, that if I freed a pigeon- she'll get her wish..btu she had only 10 rupees,t hat too from a broken piggy bank..I felt for her...and I took her there. If there was this much I could do for her, then, I'd be more than glad.
I felt at peace amidst so many emotions, standing by the happy little child, who believed her father will become better now...
She asked me about ma-papa
I didn't trust myelf to speak, as I was filled with an overwhelming urge to cry..she gently wiped my face and kissed me on the cheek.
I told her to take care, and go home.
Who was I to break her belief in that non-entity that took everything away, never gave anything?
I went back home, changed and came back down again..saw ma-papa's pictures and it broke my heart all over again. She was there too..but I cared about nothing right now..
I heard what she said..she said it was some celebration; that God had done all this. She was right at the latter part- GOD did do it..my parents..they made me grow up when I was a child...and stay that way forever...
I wish she had...no, how should I?
I don't care...not today.. I only wished to be left alone in my solitude and not be disturbed anon.
But she came nonetheless, and said she didn't know..she said sorry and began a speech of sympathy.
HEr eyes were filled with it, and I recoiled seeing that. I didn't need HER sympathy.
HOW could people believe they knew how it felt?
Did they know how it felt when I was the one who did the last rites of my parents?
Did she have any idea what that did to me?
Did anyone know how it felt to come back to a home- empty of the people who gave you birth?
That you went out a family, and came back an empty destroyed shell?
An empty home, a silence that kills..sounds that were earlier filled with love..now filled with no recompense?
SO I bid her leave, I hurt her deliberately..I couldn't deal with so much..I made her cry as well..and then she left, i shut the door.. I needed to be alone..I needed to control..
Till when, I didn't know...
Khushi
I felt his presence..but he wasn't there
Was that disappointment, of which I was aware?
For i was sure he had been here a moment ago
I dismissed it as a part of my heart's lure
Asking the man about the pigeons
I was told they were all bought by just one
I wondered who it was, that could be so selfish
to use up portions of other people's mediums of wishes?
I went and saw, a little child with a well-dressed man,
his back was to me, but he had lighted the kid's face like a lamp
happy she was happy, I waited for him to turn
And got the shock of my life, to see the man, I always spurned
He didn't see me, for which I was eternally glad
For what would he have seen if I saw him like that?
My mind and heart a jumble, I wondered what to think
Went back home, and from there, to the Raizada's- my mind incapable of any link
There were preparations for an even grand
in which Arnav Singh Raizada was apparently to stand
But then I saw the picture, and the gloom in his eyes
I realized my huge fault, and went to him inside
I said I understood, I tried to show my shared grief
but he didn't want to see, there was nothing he would believe
he was a beast, made one of his own thought
he wanted to remain so, and he'd never stop
I left, sad and dejected, feeling pain in my heart
I didn't know we had such a deep connection, at the start
I was alone too, no parents to call my own
he was lonely too, looking for a loving home...
Okay, that's it!
I'm sorry I couldn't do justice to it..but oh god the episode was so painful..I went to my parents first and hugged them tight..leaving them dumbfounded hahaha
anyway, comments welcome!
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