my gallery UPDATED Pg 32 - Page 24

Created

Last reply

Replies

251

Views

15340

Users

39

Likes

495

Frequent Posters

mohit_rockstar thumbnail
Anniversary 13 Thumbnail Group Promotion 2 Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 13 years ago



Hey Dear Thanks 4 replying ๐Ÿค—...I am glad that u didnt mind my advice and took my advice in a positive sense๐Ÿ˜Š......I am Happy that U changed the characters...๐Ÿ˜Š........

Thanks aTon dear...U rock๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ ๐Ÿค—....And One more thing U changed all the names to Samrat and Gunjan Thanks 4 that ๐Ÿ˜ŠBut in one line of Ur story U forgot to change the name 2 Samrat.....Here is the line n paragraph I am talking about๐Ÿ˜‰---------
to back full advantage as mohit ............U forgot 2 change this to Samrat..๐Ÿ˜‰..........

and when u update ur latest Sajan Os do Pm me also plssss๐Ÿ˜Š

Thanks 4 changing the characters to sajan๐Ÿ˜Š........


Love Gunjan....๐Ÿ˜Š


thanks soo much 4 ur positive criticizm..ive changed it.. i ll pakka pm u..tc
koolgurl thumbnail
Posted: 13 years ago
wow nice plz plz do cont sooon n dont forget to PM
thanxs for PM
mohit_rockstar thumbnail
Anniversary 13 Thumbnail Group Promotion 2 Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 13 years ago
hiii guys i noe m back after a very long time..and now i ve written this update which was 6-7 pages in ms word..i hope u like it..and plz do reada note at the end...thanks
______________________________________________

A girl was being taken in a stretcher..she was bleeding very badly'doctors were in a panic as there was too much of blood loss and they had to save her at any cost as she was the daughter of the richest man in town..(just assuming)and if anything happened to her..they wre going to b sewed..and soo they had to save her at any cost..and were trying their best..

The whole hospital actually was in panic..the nurses were getting the reqd things as ordered by the doctors and the doctors were contacting the best doctors n were begging them to come and also asked for advanced healers n all'

And that poor  girl who was being carried in the stretcher was GUNJAN'who was  covered with blood all over..

_________________________________________________

 

samrat always wanted to stay away from gunjan..he was a vampire and if he went close to her even she wld get lost in a dark world exactly like him..and soo that is why he always hurted gunjan..bt also helped her..and this made gunjan love mohit..as she cld see the real mohit bt wanted to see that y mohit wanted hatred from every1..and this is why she always interfered in his matter..and which was noticed by mohit's fake parents n decided to leave the place so that their identity is nt disclosed'and soo that is why they left..

________________________________________________

samrat was missing gunjan very badly..and he couldn't wait any more to see her..he wanted to c her..hear her melodious voice..touch her milky skin..bt cdnt as he was far away from her..and then he started remiscing the past..he always used to save her from goons and specially  that womanizer who wld leave no stone unturned to harm gunjan to take revenge bt due to samrat who used to arrive on time always saved her and his plans used 2 b foiled'bt alas..as samrat left that guy harmed gunjan..and this fact was unknown to samrat'

 

Operation started'doctors were asked to relax as if they commited a single mistake this wld cost her life n their reputation which was at stake n had to b taken care of at any cost..bt due to a lot of internal bleeding..the operation was not a grand success as gunjan was still in danger..she was still battling b/w life n death'

__________________________________________________

 

samrat was almost in tears n said bas gunjan main aa raha hoon..nai reh sakta main tumse door..

pata nai tum meri zaroorat ban chooki ho ya main yoon kahoon kit um meri zindagi ban gayi hoo..

agar tumhe kuch hota hain toh sabse zyada takleef mujhe hoti hain..

agar tum hasti hoo toh musjhe sabse zyada khushi hoti hain..

agar koi tumhe dekhta hain toh mann karta hai ki tumhe is duniya ke nazron se kahi bahut door le jaaoom..kyon gunjan'tum meri jjaan ban gayyi hoo?

And he wept silently..

Mujhe kuch nai pata..i want her to b saved at any cost..otherwise u ll b dead'gunjan's dad screamed with tears and hoding the doctor's collar..

 

Sir we r trying our best'

Plz sir understand..

Gunjan's friends came n controlled him n he let off his collar and looked thru the door---

Plz wake up my baby..daddy cant c u like that'

 

 

Samrat was very sad bt he could sense something wrong..and he closed his eyes..which turned blue wen he opened it..and said..ohh noo my gunjan..is in danger..i ve 2 go..wat might have happened?

I need to go to her rite now..

And he stood up to leave and was just walking out of the door wen two voices stopped him..

 

Kahaan jaa rahe ho samrat?(sternly)

Samrat turned and asked tumse matlab..

He said this to his parents

We gt u here soo that u can stay away then y the hell r u goin back?>

Forget her,forget that place..

 

Samrat'I cant..i love her..shes my life..she needs me..she s in danger n I need to protect her'

And saying this he walked out leaving furious parents'

_____________________________________________

scene shifts to hospital where gunjan is left alone in the icu and seeing the machines she gets scared..and asks how did this happen?and her head starts aching..n then she gets flashbacks as to how she was finding samrat and a car hit her and that is how she landed up in the icu..(shes actually unconsciousand is imagining)

 

then suddenly she sees her soul which is smiling n saying :tumhara waqt aa gaya hain gunjan chalo chalte hai'

 

naii main samrat se mille bina nai jaongi'

 

paagal mat bano gunjan..tumahra life bas yahi tak tha///

 

main naii jannti main bas ek baar samrat ko dekhna chahti hoon..usse mehssoss karma chahti hoon..kyonki kyonki main usse bahut pyar karti hoon'

SAMAJH ME AAYA TUMHE..CHALI JAOO YAHAAN SEE..gunjan shrieked..and her soul vanished'and she was weeping INTERNALLY to see samrat her love'

 

Samrat came in a running speed n enquired abt gunjan..the nurse replied..icu'3rd floor'

Thank u'

 

Samrat moved on n tried that he couldn't be noticed by any1'

And thru the window he saw that his love gunjan was in a critical condition..and soo he dressed up like a doctor'and went in'

And spoke to her..

Samrat---gunjan'main jaanta hoon kii  tum meri aawaz sun sakti hoo..plz gunjan ladti raho..i promise main tumhe kuch naii hone dooga and touched her hands..

 

As soon as he touched her hand and she heard his voice she was content'she moved a bit'and then they both swayed into some other world where they could talk n talk'.

 

Samrat's parents also reached there..bt changed their get up'

 

 

We ve to get rid of that gunjan today..she is spoiling our lives..and coz of her samrat has become soo rebellious..we shld kill her..no1 ll ever think abt it..every1 ll think this happened due to her accident'samrat's mom said'

Samrat's dad agreed'.and moved bt as they saw samrat..they backed off..and he had more powers than them n they knew that he wld kill them also to save her soo they decided to come sometime later..

Both of them were in some other world..they wre soo happy..they just kept staring at each other..there were noo words needed..for them to converse..their eyes said it all..and this music played in the bg----

 

taakte rehte tujhko saanjh savere (samrat takes gunjan's hand)
nainon mein'.haaye'(both look passionately into each other's eyes)


nainon mein'.haaye'(samrat is lost in her eyes)

taakte rehte tujhko saanjh savere(softly kisses her eyes)
nainon mein basiya jaise nain yeh tere(gunjan closes kar eye)
nainon mein basiya jaise nain yeh tere(gunjan hugs him)
tere mast mast do nain(sajan dance..ball dance)
mere dil ka le gaye chain
mere dil ka le gaye chain
tere mast mast do nain
tere mast mast do nain
mere dil ka le gaye chain(he pulls her to himself)


mere dil ka le gaye chain(she lands on his chest and both hshare an ayelock)
tere mast mast do nain

pehle pehal tujhe, dekha toh dil mera(samrat remembers the day when he 1st saw her)
dhadka haaye dhadka, dhadka haaye(he goes far away from her)
ho'.pehle pehal tujhe, dekha toh dil mera(gunjan goes to him)
dhadka haaye dhadka, dhadka haaye(and puts her hand near his heart)
jal jal utha hoon main shola jo pyaar ka(and looks at him lovingly)
bhadka haaye bhadka bhadka haaye(samrat cant ctrl his feelings and hugs her titely)
neendon mein ghul gaye hain, sapne jo tere(samrat n gunjan are lost in their world)
badle se lag rahe hain, andaaz mere(samrat breaks d hug n gunjan looks at him questioningly)
badle se lag rahe hain, andaaz mere
tere mast mast do nain(both go away)
mere dil ka le gaye chain(bt their heartbeats again connect them)
mere dil ka le gaye chain(both run towards each other)
tere mast mast do nain
tere mast mast do nain
mere dil ka le gaye chain(And engulf themselves in a hug)
mere dil ka le gaye chain(gunjan is crying)
tere mast mast do nain(samrat wipes off her tears)

tujhse shuru hui, tujhpe hi khatam ho(gunjan starts singing)
duniya meri duniya, duniya meri(and says her world is only him..and she doesn't care abt this world)
tujhse shuru hui, tujhpe hi khatam ho(she takes a knife and gives it to him)
duniya meri duniya, duniya meri(samrat throws it  hugs her)
yeh baat dil mein thi, nainon ne bol di(and she looks upto his eyes)
main hoon teri main hoon, main hoon teri

tujhko hi yaad kar ke, aanhein bharoon main(samrat can hear her heartbeats)
milke bhi mil na paoon, ab kya karoon main
Milke bhi mil na paoon, ab kya karoon main
tere mast mast do nain(samrat wipes off her tears and makes her happy by singing these lines)
mere dil ka le gaye chain
mere dil ka le gaye chain
tere mast mast do nain(hugs)


i hope u all liked it...i m very bad with song selection...

 

 

they both are back from their dream world..gunjan now wakes up and sees samrat and smiles..both are quiet 4 some time bt gunjan breaks the silence b/w them and says "main jaanti thi samrat kit um zaroor aaoge..aakhir'

 

aakhir tum meri itni acchi dost ho..samrat said in a hurry as he didn't want gunjan 2 say those 3 magical words as it wld melt him completely..and soo he said soo..

accha gunjan'1 baat batao'

hmmm..gunjan asked kyaa kahoo?

Yeee accident kaise hua?

Samrat mujhe yaad nai hain..mujhe security na 1 chit diya jisme likha hua tha'

"main tumahra intezaar kar rha hoon..or who letter TUMAHRE NAAM SE THA'

what?par maine toh tumhe koi letter nai diya'

both are shocked..while gunjan is tryin to remember'that wat exactly happened..samrat closes his eyes and visualizes the whole accident..and then he gets a glimpse of that womanisser and is veryyy angry'

he says to himself "ye tumne accha nai kiya..tumne gunjan ko nuksaan pahuchaaya aur who bhi mera naam lekar..tumhe aisa nai karma chahiya tha..u ll have to pay for this dude..u r dead'

 

samrat..samrat..gunjan's voice bought him back to the real world..kyaa hua?kahaan kho gaye?

Kahiin nai..gunjan tum rukoo main abhi aata hoon..aur haan yahaan se kahiin mat jaana..ok?

OK'gunjan smiled and she felt happy that samrat cared foir her and soo she slept'waiting 4 samrat to return back soon'

Btt wait some1 couldn see her sleep soo peacefully'they wre samrat's parents'

 

They whispered..ye bilkul sahi mauka hain..gunjan so rahi hain aur samrat kahiibn bhaar gaya..lets kill her'and they move towards her room'

 

Meanwhile samrat almost reached  his place and asked his parents abt him..and his parents said that he has gone to the pub'

 

Thanks..just sayin this he ran in full speed to the pub where he saw Danish(im just naming him as its lookin ver weird now..i hope no1 has any objections 2 it)'enjoyin n confessing to his friends "aaj maine apni sabse badi dushman ko maar daala..badi aaayi thi mahaan baanne..abbbb toh wohh'gayiii'haaann..haan'

 

Samrat's blood was boiling..afterall his gunjan had been harmed how cld he be cool?so he waited for Danish outside..in his car'bt as he closed his eyes..he saw that some 1 was tryin to kill his gunjan..he tried to visualize it..bt couldn't..the image was blurred'he saw one man n a lady in black tryin to kill her by covering her mouth'

And he opened his eyes..and said..oh noo..gunjan..

And rushed to the hospital'

His parents were almost going to kill her wen they heard samrat clapping beside the door..kya baat hain?maana padega'aapne  aap to maa papa bulaate hain?huh..he smirked and said..how dare u hurt her?i love her..u noe she is my life..and I ve already lost her once..i cant lose her 1 ce more'

Gunjan heard it n smiled bt she thot that he was talking abt the accident..she didn't noe that sam was a vampire and loved a girl who had a same face as hers'bt was shocked to find that his parents wanted to kill her'why but..many questions came in her mind b she knew that this was not the rite time..so she just quietly listened'.

 

I love her..finally I got her and now u ppl want to kill her..wats ur b****y problem'plzz just get out of my life'I don't need u here'

 

His parents were shocked bt tehey just said that even u noe that if she comes 2 noe abt u that u r a VAMPIRE then she ll hate you'

 

Gunjan was shocked..she started feeling scared'she wanted to rum away'

 

They r vampires..ohh godd..how cld this happen?noo this is t the truth'

 

Haan isiliye main usse door jaana chaahta hoon par usse marta hua nai dekh sakta..aur uske liye me kuch bhi kar sakta hoon..aapki jaan bhi le sakta hoon'

 

They both started laughing each other..the male parent said..accha kaise???

 

Isse'he showed something of acid strong (m just assuming it)which wld kill them..

 

Nahii tum aisa naii karsakte'

 

Main aisa hi karoonga'

And they moved back.he came forward n threw the acid on their face to which they shrieked and burnt into ashes and disappeared'

Now he turned to gunjan who was pretndin to b asleep said..gunjan main bhi tumse bahut pyaar karta hoon..par humlog kabhi 1 nahi ho sakte kyonki main ek darinda hoon'

I m soory gunjan maine tumhe kahii baar hurt kiya hain..accha yahi hoga ki main kahi tumse door chala jaoon..main bhi apne aap ko khatam kar doonga'

 

Gunjan whio was trembling with fear..subsided down..now she knew that sam was nt a bad person..he had been forced n with all this her love for him increased more and soo wen he just moved ahead she just held his hand and said to a shocked samrat and said..main jaanti hoon kit um kya ho..par tum shayad ye nai jannte ki main tumse aur bhi zzyada pyaar karne lagi hoon'I m sorry samrat..maine tumhe kabhi nai samjha'

 

Samrat was scared bt the also he composed himself and said ki yeh kya bakwaas kar rahi ho tum? Mujhe kuch samajh nai aa raha..

 

Main jaanti hoon ki tumhe sab samajh me aa raha hain..yahi soch rahe hoo naa ki ek inseam aur ek vampire kaise 1 saath ho sakte hain?

 

Samrat was shocked..the same qs was goin in his mind'

 

To main tumahri duniya main tumahre saath chaloongi'aur 1 vampire ban jaoongi,,main tumse bahut pyar karti hoon samrat..main jaanti hoon kit tum  naii chahte ki mai is andherii duniya me kadam rakhoo par kaise bataoo..ki jab tak hum dono saath hain..andhera bhi hame roshni lagegi..plz samrat'plzzzz

 

 

Samrat even loved her more now'he was convinced and he just forwarded another bottle and smiled and said ye lo'.

 

She smiled and had it n hugged him'

Both now disappeard'the nurse came and saw that gunjan was dead' and soo all her friends n family came n met her'and made their regards to her crying and left..

 

While in some other world sajan wre there..gunjan saw her family  n said  m sorry par main ab yaaha zyaasda khush hoon..and hugged samrat..and both left for their home'

 

 

 

Is this the end?or a new beginning?

 _____________________________________________

i hope u guys had a gud time reading it..this is the longest update i ve ever written..so i want long comments as well..and i hope u guys wont disappoint me..and plz let me that shld i write an ss after this..if u liked it i ll write an ss..ofcourse after my boards...

plzz doo comment..long ones..cool..great words ll not do..plzzz.

do press d like button...


thanks

love

palak

p.s-if i hurt any1 i m SORRY...

 

Edited by mohit_rockstar - 13 years ago
aashizin thumbnail
Posted: 13 years ago
OMG palak it was outstanding OS seriously loved it to the core , amazing piece of work thanks for pm and do write more such a OS ๐Ÿ‘
mulan. thumbnail
Anniversary 13 Thumbnail Group Promotion 4 Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 13 years ago
wow!!!!!!!!
๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘
amazing palak!!!!!
and i really liked ur idea!!!!!
the way u changed the sajan characters!!!!
amazing!!!!!!
and yup it is long !!!! ๐Ÿ˜‰
thanks for the pm!!!!! :)
do write more!!!!! :)

๐Ÿ‘
1gunjan7 thumbnail
Anniversary 14 Thumbnail Group Promotion 4 Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 13 years ago
Hey Dear Palak OMG!! Wow!! what an Awesome n beautifull Story ....just superb Os dear๐Ÿ‘...Very well written Os , Amazing and Excellent Dialogues๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘......the story is rocking .......Everything from Hospital scene to Samrat coming to save n help his love Gunjan 2 Saving her from his fake parents to Gunjan wanting 2 be with samrat and loving him so much that even after finding out he is a vampire She still loves him and wants to spend her whole life with him Each n everything in Your Os was Fantastic...๐Ÿ‘...even the End or should I say Beginning of Sajans new life in another world everything was Just Superb๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘...................Mindblowing piece of Work Palak .............๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘

Thanks 4 Pm ๐Ÿค—and Dear u r a very good writer๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ So plss Do write More SS n OS PALAK๐Ÿ˜Š....................

And Dear one more thing If u donot mind In UR THIS OS U have By Mistake in Many PLACES written the Character name As MOHIT when it should have been SAMRAT....Beginning mein Gunjan part mein Mohit mentioned many times....HERE is One  place ----------------------------
"
scene shifts to hospital where gunjan is left alone in the icu and seeing the machines she gets scared..and asks how did this happen?and her head starts aching..n then she gets flashbacks as to how she was finding MOHIT"......plss do change it 2 Samrat...๐Ÿ˜Š..I hope U didnt mind me pointing this out 2 U Dear............

AND dear Do write more Os n Ss n plss Pm me whenever u write another New SS or Os......And one more thing palak the song Selection for ur os is Superb๐Ÿ‘..Takatey rehtey tujh sanj savery is a lovely song ..๐Ÿ‘..I Even imagined Sajan in this song while reading ur Os and I am sure Sajan would have looked Droolable in this Song ๐Ÿ˜...they would have looked lovely๐Ÿ‘....................once again Fabulous and Superb Os ..............๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘..........

Love Gunjan๐Ÿ˜Š..........

Edited by 1gunjan7 - 13 years ago
preety88 thumbnail
Anniversary 16 Thumbnail Group Promotion 5 Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 13 years ago
mindblowing os....loved it...u did a brilliant job writing it
monaya_sajan thumbnail
Anniversary 13 Thumbnail Group Promotion 4 Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 13 years ago
outstanding yaar...........
but plz do 1 thing ...........from next tym if u give concept 1st n den actual update a few days l8r, edit d concept n continue der...yaar continuity mein prob hota hain..........baaki superb...
hope u dont mind dis small little piece of my advice...........
karantakiar thumbnail
Posted: 13 years ago
Oh palak i luv u swty.
ur a sW*Hrt dear,luv d os.
it ws superb,awsm ,fantastic.
it ws totaly totaly different baby.
it ws out of dis world.
today ur os shws dat luv has no boundaries.
amazing yar,it ws out of dis wrld.
u rck jaan.
plz plz do write mre os swty.
luv u
vritika
IISHAFS thumbnail
Anniversary 16 Thumbnail Group Promotion 6 Thumbnail Networker 3 Thumbnail
Posted: 13 years ago
tht was soooooooooo niceeeeeeee