nobody ever fixed the mess created around her surroundings.....n who was/is their was in different dilemma ........human life & their cirlce......beautifully penned down!!!!
P.S. you know i wanna give hug to that woman but ...........she desrves a lot of things foremost understanding...... friend(may be she found one*shiv*) Love & hugs Family which is a circle of feelings but they can even come now??......that's my list u carry on with ur fab work😳
Chapter 59: The Return of a Dream
He stood outside leaning against the wall and waited for her to come out. He knew that she wouldn't want to stay at this party now after what had happened. And soon enough, she did come out. She looked at him and he took it as an indication that she was ready to go. He pulled away from the wall and walked towards the car. She waited until they pulled out of Dhruv's driveway to speak.
"Drop me off at my father's house, please."
"Why?" he asked without turning to look at her. But he knew that she had made up her mind. And frankly, he didn't have the energy to fight with her today.
"I already called him and told him that I am coming there for an overnight stay. Please tell your parents that I will be back tomorrow."
He didn't say anything; he was tired of apologizing to her, of making up for things he didn't do, of her always misinterpreting things that were not his fault, of everything… and in this instance, he couldn't even say that he blamed her, but he just didn't want to explain this one… for once, he wished that she would just trust him rather than jump to conclusions in her temper.
And so he remained quiet as he drove to her father's house. But he made sure to walk in with her and say hello to her father so that he wouldn't worry. And she made sure to pretend to walk him to the door and lean up to whisper something in his ear, making it seem like a secret between husband and wife. But what she really said was, "I can get myself to the university tomorrow. Tell mom not to worry."
And that was that.
There was a heavy feeling in his chest as he drove home. But there was also a slight sense of relief. He needed a night of peace to dig himself out of the crater-sized hole that Thalia had put him in… and he couldn't have a night of peace when his wife was as angry as she was.
****
"Shaan…" she said again as she turned her face into the pillow.
And just like that, he felt like he was sixteen again, climbing in through that window to find her sitting in one of the corners of the room, her head bent on her knees, her hair falling like a curtain to shield her face completely. He would take a few deep breaths to calm his racing heart before he would walk over. And there would be blood dotting her pajamas already. She would look up at him when he was near and say "Shaan" and extend her hands out to him. He would pick her up in his arms and carry her to the bathroom. For someone who cut herself up like she did, she hated seeing both her wounds and her blood and she always turned her face away while he placed her in between the double sink and raised her pajama bottom to her knees to pour water on her wounds. And she would sob as she held onto him with her arms around his neck, sometimes so tightly that he couldn't really maneuver his hands around to dress her wounds. But he would manage somehow. She would inevitably lay her head on his shoulder and he knew that if he held her like that for some time, she would fall asleep. He would carry her back to bed then and tuck her in. Usually, he would climb back down the same way he had come up immediately after. But there were occasionally times when she would refuse to let go of him and would whisper "Shaan…" until he stayed with her for some more time. Those parts were torture for him, just watching her sleep and being afraid that she would wake up… He didn't know how to make it all better… he was only sixteen… and Thalia was as complicated as God made girls… no, not just girls, but people in general… she was rude to him at best and mean to him at worst, the latter of which had gotten even more frequent after she had started cutting herself. It appeared that the more she needed him during these periods, the more she hated him when they were over. And he didn't care for her either, but he couldn't turn away from her or refuse to go to her when she was vulnerable like this… And he got some perverse satisfaction from knowing that she called only him and no one else. Partly, he knew that it was because to her, he was less than human… she could use him and abuse him to her heart's pleasure without fearing recrimination. She knew he would complain to no one. Besides, she also thought that he was as dull as they came and that automatically meant that he had no feelings whatsoever. If she only knew how much he disliked her… almost as much as she disliked him… which all made what they did during these episodes of hers all the harder to explain to anyone else… and so he told no one... even with Gauri, he had been scant on details… And he had been so hopeful that Thalia would be out of his life completely once he got married to Gauri. Because for some reason, he knew that as awful as she was, even Thalia would know better than to be a hindrance in his married life… even though their relationship had never been the least bit romantic in all the time that they had known each other.
He walked out of the room quickly. He couldn't stay in here and listen to her call him something that she hadn't called him in a long time… or recollect a past that was as confusing to him as anything in his life nowadays… and above and beyond it all, he couldn't stay in here and wonder why he let her do this to him still, when all he had ever wanted was to be out of all the mess that she brought with her.
***
She had the same dream again. She smelled his cologne again and it woke her up. Except this time she knew that it was just a dream…that she didn't really wake up. But when she woke in her dream this time, rather than the nightgown that she had on the last time, she was in a skirt and blouse.
She changed into the same slip that she had worn that night, why she didn't really know, but she couldn't find the wrapper that went over the slip. She assumed that maybe recurring dreams were not always exact; that maybe minor changes were allowed each time they came back. She followed the smell of his cologne through the long hallways with its many sheer curtains brushing over her. This was all just like the last time...
Once she reached the point where she was faced with the long windows that had the opaque silver curtains, she started walking towards it. When she got closer, she closed her eyes, just like she had done the last time. But this time, no one grabbed her from behind. Was this not a recurring dream? Where was the man who had blind-folded her the last time? She stood there with her eyes closed for several minutes before opening them and walking closer to the window. Just as she was about to pull open the curtains, she heard footsteps behind her. Were men late in dreams too?
She stood still without turning around as the footsteps came closer.
"What are you doing up?" He asked when he was right behind her. There was something familiar about his voice, although she couldn't quite place it. She hadn't been able to place it in her last dream either.
"I am not up." She replied.
"Come again?" He said.
"I said, I am not up. I know this is a dream." She answered without turning around.
"This is a what?" He asked as he came closer behind her.
"A dream. I know that. I know you know that too."
"You're not making any sense." He said now, his voice reflecting his confusion as he moved even closer to her.
"Don't try to confuse me. This is my dream." She said emphatically.
"Thalia. What are you talking about? And when did you change? And why won't you turn around?"
Those were so many questions and she closed her eyes and she tried to figure out what was happening. Was she trying to control her dream too much? Why was he acting differently from before?
"I told you before. I don't know who you are." She said, almost without thought, just as she had said the last time.
This time he turned her around by her shoulder and she scrunched her eyes shut; there was no blindfold preventing her from seeing him this time. He was letting her see him in fact, but it was she who insistently kept her eyes closed. What was wrong with her?
"What's wrong with you? You know who I am." He said now and she shook her head.
"Thalia" he called her name, but she backed against the wall and grabbed onto the curtains to hide her face in them.
"What is wrong with you?" He asked now, pulling the curtain away from her.
"No!" she said, but the curtain was already out of her grasp and she quickly covered her eyes with her hands.
"Did someone spike your drink tonight? What is wrong with you?" he said as he came closer to pull her hands away from her face.
"No!" she said again, resisting him.
He tried to pull her hands away again and in response, she pushed him away from her.
"That's it! I don't know what you have been drinking, smoking, or shooting up, and I frankly don't care. You are going back to bed."
"No!" She said again, but he picked her up to throw her over his shoulder as he carried her back to her room.
She tried to kick him, but he tightened his grip around her legs. When they reached her room, he carried her to the bed and threw her onto it. She scrambled up immediately to try to get out through the other side.
"Thalia! Stop it!" he said, pulling her back by one of her feet.
"Nooo!" she yelled out then, but he had already dragged her back and had thrown his body on top of hers to stop her flailing, while his hands held onto each of hers.
Her body couldn't move, but she still refused to open her eyes. And so she yelled out again, but he cut it off mid-shriek by pressing his lips against hers.
She didn't know how she had known that he would do just that, but she had, and now she remained still as she felt the deep pressure of his lips and the deep bass of her heart pounding in her ears.
He didn't move his lips for a few moments, but neither did he pull away, and they stayed just like that until she relaxed her tightly scrunched up eyes. But she still couldn't open them, what with all the other sensations she felt being overwhelming enough without adding any visuals.
Several more moments passed before she felt him move his lips over hers. She was thankful that this was a dream and that she was lying down; she was sure that she would have spontaneously combust otherwise. He coaxed her hesitant lips into responding with a few more strokes and she marveled that kisses were always better in dreams. They were never this good in real life when you just couldn't be in sync with the pacing or the starting or the ending or any of those minute things that added up to make a kiss glorious… not to mention, the awkwardness after… which made this all the better… her dream man would disappear like a poof of smoke when the dream ended and she could only hope that it was a dream that she would remember when she woke, even if she still didn't know who the man was...
He sucked on her lower lip just then and an unintentional moan escaped her lips, which convinced her even more that this was just a dream; she never moaned in real life, she had always considered it a bit embarrassing. Besides, she was convinced that most women pretended all those sound-effects anyways...
He let go of her suddenly and pulled back.
She exhaled deeply as her head fell to the side….
She smiled as she turned her body away from him and snuggled into the bed… her sleep was dreamless for the rest of the night…
***
He pulled back from her and watched as a small smile lit her face as she turned away from him. Her eyes were still closed. He wished that he could be like her and think that it was all a dream…. that when he opened his eyes, he would know that this had not happened… but of course, such luck was not with him.
His heart was racing as he climbed off the bed and backed away from her.
He shouldn't have done that… he really shouldn't have done that… because he was sure that the dysfunctional harmony that existed between them had just gone off-kilter… how many more complications could their relationship take?
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