STORY CONTEST- 2(CASE OF THE MYSTERIOUS KIDNAPPER) - Page 45

Originally posted by: sunnyp1414

In story 3 the discussion of ACP, Abhi. The dialogues written were awesome.. Since cannot quote as No copy is there on first page.

i have sent you story now you can Quote anything you want to 😆

story 3 few scenes I liked a lot--

Freddy:- Daya Sir appko bhi ACP Sir se "Daya Darwaza Todh do" sun ne ki adapt padh chuki hain 'agar voh hote ton ab tak darwaza todh bhi diya hota..



introduction part well explained
Ram:- yeh hain hamari maa Shrimati yashoda Desayi(ponting towards a lady wearing White saari) yeh hain hamari choti behan Simran(A stylish 22years girl wearing white top) yeh bhaiya ki wife Seema Desayi(A lady wearing black Saree) aur ton app log mil he chuke hain'



They themselves called CID then maan hi maan main regretting why they called.
Yashoda:- dekhiye app log hum pe buvajah ilzaam laga rahe hain'iska ilzaam bahut bura hoga'


next one
ACP:- tv on karo'........ further dialogue
ACP:- Daya tv band karo'


and Abhi-Acp dialogues when ever they interact.  they were just too good.

ACP:- yeh lo nawabjade naraz hogaye itni se baat pe....jao Daya aur sambhalo inhe'
Daya:- lekin Sir hum koshish kar rahe hain na'
ACP (shows eyes)
Daya:- jata hoo Sir..


and that Simran
Simran:- main ma main?
Daya:- ab Mr. Ram ne Simran ton appka he naam batayea tha…agar 5 minute main abhi abhi badal liya ho ton kuch keh nahi sakte…


Edited by sunnyp1414 - 13 years ago

Superb analysis Sunny!! Just too good... 👏 👏

Originally posted by: sunnyp1414

In story 6 concept was wonderful. In this story well explained forensic part was there. Even that Enzyminocide (hope written correctly). Liked when Freddy said to ACP sir aap nahi chalenge (anyone lase can say but just loved Freddy said) and that politician. kitna famous tha aisa kam karke naam kharab kar liya.


As and when I get time and remember scenes I will write here in this thread

Thanks Sunny for liking my concept,I thought there's nothing much in the concept but yes I was missing some emotional moments in CID these days so decided to have them involved in my story and the ting you said about Freddy,weird but its even my favourite part.

Agar main apni story se kuch favorite dialogues likhna chaho ton can i?? 😕 😲 because As i don't have anyone else story to analysis ton apni ka he kar leta hoo 😆

Bhinder meri karo n,tum achcha analyse karthe ho 😉

😆 Bhavana, In your story, I loved ACP Sir's confidence in abhi-daya in starting Scene...Moreover, jab ACP Says in bureau nak kata di behosh padhe the dono..loved that part..except this, Abhi's regret when he says hamare hote hoye yeh sab hoya bahut he sharmnak baat hain...and all emotional scenes...waise ton bahut kujh hain likhne ton but can't Quote na So...I loved full story most importantly concept you used there...just awesome..

heehee maintoh yunhi keh rahi thi analyse karlo,tumne toh sach mein kar diya but thanks yaar

Bhinder u can alalyse my stroy as well yaar woh bhi detail mein flaws bhi, And I have promised you to alalyse all the stories in detail and Bhavana thanx for giving those ratings to me on mail I was wrecked with work and forgotten the story contest suddenly saw the ratings and came back to this thread love you sweety

@sneha di no problem di,I knew you'd like to know ur ratings but di jab bhi time milega aur aap stories padh,I'd love to read your reviews