The sweetness of your writing is that its so real and just as normal as one faces the day everytime. I just love the simplicity and the easy flow of it Aparajita. Coming to part, the agree and disagree interaction of Ayush and Naina is too good to read on and yeah me too agree to the facts :P. Good one again!
PS: I may be off and on for commenting due to the time constraints. But, you will definitely see my presence in "Like" bar. Hope you don't mind.
You write really well Aparajita! Loved the interactions between the friends, the mother-daughter, and especially Naina-Ayush!
Continue soon.
Originally posted by: Prasanthi
The sweetness of your writing is that its so real and just as normal as one faces the day everytime. I just love the simplicity and the easy flow of it Aparajita. Coming to part, the agree and disagree interaction of Ayush and Naina is too good to read on and yeah me too agree to the facts :P. Good one again!
PS: I may be off and on for commenting due to the time constraints. But, you will definitely see my presence in "Like" bar. Hope you don't mind.
Originally posted by: 090909as
Loved the stuff about twilight! I mean I still like twilight in a way, It's funny, even the most serious parts makes me want to laugh. And anyway i love the Volturi, I like the dead-scary, dead-arrogant, and damn vampires who have fun playing with people's lives. Yeah it's kind of my definition for vampires, the Volturi are the main attraction, then's the wolf pack, and Edward pisses me off, ever heard the song Blame it on the girls by Mika? You should it reminds me so much of Edward. here's the first part:
He's got looks that books take pages to tell (yeah that was the part that instantly reminded me off him. UGH! and EARTH TO BELLA! GREEK GODS ARE UGLY!)
He's got a face to make you fall on your knees
He's got money in the bank to thank and I guess
You could think he's livin' at ease
Like lovers on the open shore -- what's the matter
When you're sitting there with so much more -- what's the matter
While you're wondering what the hell to be
Are you wishing you were ugly like me?
See SO much of Edward. He had everything, Carlisle (My favorite Cullen) Alice, Esme, jazz, And Em, EVERYTHING! and he still wanted Bella, and then he left her. Is that suppose to make sense? Here's a name for 'im: Sullen Cullen! He doesn't have anything to be depressed for! Why is he depressed then? I mean i didn't read HP, because i was about eight when the craze was on and i cowered away when i saw the size of the book, but i read the Night World (I love those books there amazing!) And the charecters they had something to be depressed for, Quinn, Theirry, Delos, Morgead (Not gonna tell you why they were depressed, since there's a chance you'll choose to read them) Edward never had any reason to be depressed. People who live a life like him aren't depressed, their happy, but when they find their Bella they become happier.
Okay enough Twilight hatred, I got carried away, sorry, this is suppose to be about your story, not some retarded, overrated, story, that i used to fawn over, seriously! Who needs Edward when you have Kasper (I don't think you know him, he's a character from Dinner with a vampire, a story on wattpad, he's better then Edward!)I really don't want to come cross some Twiard, They'll burn me alive!
Back to your story, Ha Ha. So they agreed on that they can't agree on anything. Hate-love story, IRRESISTIBLE. Ayush and Naina, can feel the bond starting, But Hey! You didn't give us a description for them! Hey I like details! Anyway Nandita is getting on my nerves, I mean what if my best friend tried to hook me up, EWW! Men! or boys more likely, they're better off in books and stories, because they're not as obnoxious. Anyway I hope you continue soon, and sorry about the twilight things again, I just got out of control :P
Originally posted by: _.serendipity._
Hey Aparajita!!
Apologies for the delay. Was working on a project.Brilliant update!! It's so cute the way Ayush and Naina disagree about pretty much everythhing and yet there are these little moments when they happen to agree over something.And I liked this part.."..."Gay vampire". The last one was a bit of an insult to the homosexual community, but we didn't pay much attention to it since it just went with the flow." <<< LOL!Oh, Twilight! I see there's an anti-Twilight club forming over here. Count me in too. lol. Reminds me, I kind of had a minor crush on this guy last year. Then came to know he liked Twilight. I was like, guys do that? The crush evaporated away instantly!The alcohol thing is very intriguing. I have a feeling it's about the dad..maybe? Update soooooon!! I'm absolutely LOVING this!! :D
Originally posted by: -Sookie-
Hello Aparajita,
I generally tend to ignore teen-angst driven stories mostly because they come off as ranting on how everything is cliche and how one is always misunderstood and finally gush over Avril Lavigne's music and lyrics.
But this story sucked me right in and I read all nine parts in one go! I rarely read anything that's unfinished but I could not help not read this further. So here I am. :-)
First of all, I love the narration. A detachment from the normal, a touch of cynicism and plenty of introspection. The girl, Naina, is a reflection of many of us out here in one aspect or the other. But what I am liking about her is that she is not of the brooding variety. She lashes out when provoked and her monologues are sharp enough to give one a whiplash :-)
The second aspect which I am liking a great deal here is the way everyday economics, constantly evolving social structure are seen from the eyes of a teenager. Of course the subjects are debatable yet when the two characters are arguing about globalization, I can see that its your perspective of things which is out there.
The third factor which made me glued to this story is the ensemble of characters. I don't think I would have enjoyed the story as much as I do if I did not find one of the characters as interesting as I see it now. Of course, there would be changes and development in this as the series progresses, but looking at the fundamentals on which they are built, I am sure they would still be great. Naina definitely steals the show but everyone around her complements to attain a dramatic end result.
All in all, I love this. :-) Will be waiting to read next part!!
Sookie.
On a side note, Thanks Prasanthi for sending me the URL for this story. I am loving it! :-)Hey Sookie! :) Thanks for being here 😃I agree about the teen angst driven stories, most of them tend to progress towards the same direction, but unlike those, I've tried my best to keep this story as grounded in reality as possible.I'm glad you like Naina's character, it's very special to me. Actually a great deal of her is me, lol. She's different than the girls of her agre group in alot of ways, doesn't whine and crib at the drop of a hat, doesn't drool over boys and good looks 24/7, alot more stronger actually. Her past has got alot to do with her anti-social behaviour. And yes, she's not afraid to lash out when the need be :)Considering the fact that unlike other kids, financial problems and other family related problems were never concealed from her, actually her family was so dysfunctional that no one really cared, she's always had a first person view of what goes on in the family. She comprehends the daily struggle very well, plus living with a single mom isn't easy. No matter how hard you try, you cannot protect your child from all the problems that come along with it.
All the characters in my story are important in some way or the other, each of them have different personalities, likes/dislikes, and yet they find something common to hang on. And you're right, all of them will develop gradually as more traits about them will be disclosed :)Thanks for the wonderful comment Sookie! Glad you liked this story 😃P.S - Thanks Prasanthi for sharing this story with others! :))
People call me brave, but I know that somewhere I'm not. Had I been brave, I would have been capable of facing my past. But I'm not. I've always been an expert at sweeping the issues under the carpet, but frankly, I don't know what to do when the same issues wriggle out through the other end of the carpet, and slam squarely into my face.
I broke out of my reverie as my phone rang. It's dad, and seriously, I couldn't have been happier.
"Hi, what's up?", I said, as cheerfully as possible.
"Nothing much, just on my way to Delhi", he asked in his usual, funky voice.
I suddenly sat up in my chair. Did he just say that he was on his way to Delhi?, "How come?", I asked excitedly.
"Have to reach Noida by 7 pm, so I thought we could have lunch together"
I almost jumped. Dad and I hadn't met for a long time, and I didn't realize how much I missed him until now, "Cool! Will you be here by 3?"
"Yup. I'll be there by 3", he replied
"Okay! See ya"
I had partially forgotten about the workshop as I disconnected the line. Or maybe I just didn't want to think about it right now, like I said, I'm an expert at sweeping things under the carpet.
*******************************
Dad and I are sitting in Pizza hut, our classic hub for lunch outings. We always hog the pizza like hungry maniacs, and never seem to eat so much in a desi restaurant. He seems to have found a new fascination with long hair, and is now carrying a pony (Remember SRK's pony?) He thinks it looks cool on him.
"So, why're you going to Noida?", I asked as I took a huge bite of my pizza.
He shrugged, "Some quality issue. Actually, all they want to do is see my face and be relieved about the fact that I'm alive. My factory is alive and all the other shit"
I nodded slowly, "I see. Business really is all about making your presence known, isn't it? I mean, who said your 'social capability' doesn't matter in the corporate world?"
He nodded, "That, and other things. Definitely not education and useless degrees"
We both chuckled. My parents have never brainwashed me into believing that 'school' and 'marks' are as important as breathing. Both of them know that it really doesn't matter how well you did in school or college, what really matters is your capacity to handle shit. Because that's truly what's life's all about.
"How's mom doing?", he asked after we stopped laughing.
"Good", I replied, and gave him a brief update on the status. In spite of everything, my parents didn't end things on a bad note. My mom being the kind of person she did, didn't really ask for alimony, but just asked my dad to give as much as it was possible for him.
During the lunch, I was briefly tempted to tell Dad about the workshop on alcoholism, but then stopped. I realized how that subject is still sensitive, for all of us. Plus I didn't want to screw the little time I had with him, so I decided to swallow my urge. We talked about everything and nothing, I told him about the maths project, and how Nandita was trying to hook me up with Ayush. He really started laughing at that, not at the idea of Nandita trying to hook me up with someone, but rather the idea of me having a boyfriend.
"Um, you and a boyfriend?", He said between laughs, "Right. Pigs can fly too"
"Ha Ha Ha. Very funny dad", I replied in a fake 'pissed-off' tone. But somewhere he was right. I was just not girlfriend material.
He told me about his work, our dog (My dad has one) and generally about everything. We debated about whether Avatar was a good film or not (we always end up debating about something), and just when the debate was heating up, we realized that we were literally yelling and burst out laughing.
After lunch, I hugged him before he left for Noida and I made my way towards home, feeling happy. I always have a good time with dad, with him, time seems to fly. We had once gone to Bangalore together and I remember all the khoofiyapanti we did there. It was like being on an excursion trip with my best friend. Moments like these, they make me happy. But they also make me sad when they're over.
***********************
"Okay, so this is what we can do. We can burn the edges of the poster so that it looks like those old, burnt scrolls. I think it looks really good", said Nandita.
"Hmm, I guess your right", replied Ayush, thoughtfully.
Nandita and Ayush were discussing the project over the phone. Nandita was the kind of person who would die to share her idea when it struck her, regardless of the time. And hence, at 11 pm at night, she called Ayush to share an idea about the poster that occurred to her a while ago. Luckily for her, Ayush was an insomniac too.
"Yeah, and you can shade it with a little brown and yellow color, if you can picture the blend. You know, the 'authentic' kinda look", she said.
"I think we should paint the background black, to give it a 'darkness' shade, you know? and then I was planning to draw two fire torches at the bottom, to depict 'enlightenment'. It's kind of symbolic"
"I think I can imagine that. I like it, we should do it", said Nandita
"Really? So far everyone seems to have rejected it. Both Vivek and Naina hate it. Particularly Naina. Jeez, if there is something known as 'Chalk and cheese' award, then we should really get it"
Nandita chuckled, "Yeah, she's a little different. It'll take time but you'll get used to her. Anyway, I like your idea. We'll battle it out with Vivek and Naina. Don't worry", she replied
"Yeah, sounds good. So we're meeting on Sunday?"
"Yep"
"Okay, see you tomorrow in school then. Bye"
Just as Nandita disconnected the line, she heard the noise of glass being shattered from the kitchen. Startled, she ran outside her room and to the kitchen, only to see her mom glaring at her dad, and her dad returning her deathly stare. She sighed and shook her head. When are they going to stop bickering every single day?
As if tuned in to this habit, she quietly turned around and walked back to her room. She could hear faint voices. I lost him because of you!
It was always the same.
*****************************
No, please don't fight, please don't fight, chanted a little girl as tears rolled down her cheeks. She stood in one corner of the house, staring at her parents screaming at each other, unaware of what they were really saying. It just went on, she wanted it to stop, she wanted someone to bring to a stop...
I snapped my eyes open to absolute darkness. I was taking deep breaths, trying to recover from the dream. Jumping out of bed, I quickly ran and switched on the light. I have this inexplicable fear of the dark, I feel lost and helpless when there's no light. It had been a long time since I had one of those nightmares, but this workshop had started to act as a trigger. It had kicked into the well settled sand once again.
I had never shared with anyone, not even myself, that my parents were alcoholics in the past. I don't want to attend this workshop.
Direct link: http://deviant-chronicles.blogspot.com/2010/03/part-10.html 😃
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