NOTE: I know I have left many loose ends, simply because I just want the lose ends to remain like that. It is a story, but it is upto you how you want to conceive it, in this one I don't want to show you what I perceive, rather see what you want to see or how you want to see!!!
We writers do so much hard work (creative people are so pompous, I am reading Matters of Minds by Shri Shri Ravi Shankar to do some soul-searching for the nth time), you people also do some, give your imagination wings!!! ~~~Wink~~~
And I completely second the thought that bani is a selfish woman, there is a selfish side in all of us, it is upto to us how much we want it to over-power ourselves. Bani is totally self-obsessed, she is angry too, so angry that she can burn the entire world, angry at Raghu for leaving her in a lurch, somewhere angry at herself because she is seeing herself fall steeply and her father's words hitting her every day. She doesn't want to accept her mistake and with her uncontrollable feelings for jai she does not want to leave.
She is not someone who loves to win; she is someone who hates to lose.
PART-5
Sej vo suni dekh ke rovun main din rain,
Piya piya main karat hun pahron, pal bhar sukh na chain…
{Seeing the empty bed I cry night and day
calling for my beloved all day, not a moment's happiness or rest…}
"Hello…" bani said clutching the receiver to her ear…she leaned against the window-pane as the voice hit back from the other end…
"Bani…" it was raghu…bani went mute for a second…
"Haan…" she replied…her eyes wandering outside through the open window…
"Kaisi hain…"
"Zinda hoon…"
"Bani kya bolti hain re tu…"
"Toh aur kya boloon, tum toh bhaag gaye mujhe chod kar, yehi kaha tha kya jab tum mujhe yahaan leke aaya…" she zapped at him… her eyes searching for someone, she found him…jai was standing in the backyard, in his vest, …lifting dumbbells, his muscular arms flexed as he carried the heavy weights…he was sweating like a puddle of water…
"Bani, apun kya karega…lafda hi kuch aisa hain…bani…sun na…"
Bani's ears went deaf thereafter… …
A strange shimmering bond was struck…between their lonely hearts…but they were so terrified by the extraordinary ebbing of the sea that they scurried to higher ground…neglecting the tides of emotions which erupted within them…His silent intense gaze gave her goosebumps, she had never felt this way even when she was so intimate with raghu…as if jai's one look touched her soul without even physically touching her…she very well knew she was crossing the barred line, the line of being a married woman, bounded by fidelity and loyalty towards her husband, but she was helpless like a wrecked ship caught in the midst of a tempest, the damage was done, if anything was left… it was the drowning, she liked raghu, she didn't love him, she knew that, it was a momentary infatuation, more than the juvenile attraction towards him it was this irrepressible urge to just peep into his dark, broody world, but even in this wildly clustered house she found herself to be alone, yearning for that unattainable love…but she didn't regret coming here, she would have never met jai…and never would have found love …
She felt a strong cryptic sensation entangle her like a vine creeper…her eyes remained fixed on jai who was now shooting a far away target with precision… she felt aroused, an intensity so high that she couldn't contain it…she disconnected the phone…huffing she went inside the bathroom…taking the bucket of cold water she drenched herself from top to bottom, emptying the bucket…she ran her fingers through her damp hair…taking deep breaths…was her love stealthily becoming into an obsession…she was going insane…and jai's stony silence and aversion didn't make anything easier for her… …
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Bani stood alight as jai went away…something was brewing up in his mind which he was certainly not vocal about… he would not tell her till he himself finds it out, she was cent percent sure of it…
"Tabrez…" jai called tabrez towards his room…
"Ji bhai…"
"Jab raghu Bankok gaya tha…toh uske pehle kya hua tha…kuch pata hain…"
"Bhai us din subah hi aap pune ke liye nikal gaye the abubhai ke kaam se…woh Roshanmal seth ki supari thi…"
"Haan…"
"Raghu bhai ghar par hi the…chup-chup the…baniben se baath kar rahen the ki ek phone aaya…"
"Fir…"
"Woh chale gaye aur fir wapas nahin aaye…aap sham ko wapas aaye…lekin raghu bhai nahin aaye…"
"Jab do din baad raghu ka phone ayaa toh woh Bankok main tha…"
"Haan…" tabrez agreed…jai looked thoughtful…
"Kiska phone ho sakta hain…"
"Pata nahin bhai…maine poocha toh koi jawaab nahin diya…bas nikla gaye…"
"Tujhe kya lagta hain…"
"Pata nahin, bhai kuch dino se pareshaan lag rahen the…"
"Hmm…theek hain tu ja…"
"Jee bhai…"
Tabrez went off leaving jai with his muddled unreached conclusions…what would have happened…there was only one thing which he was clueless about…and who would know about it…
Raghu had fled from Mumbai to Bankok where he had some underworld contacts… he was in hiding for about a month and a half…where he only called sometimes that too he talked only to bani and refused to talk to anybody…and after that a search warrant had been passed by his name and he was caught, instead of arresting him he was shot by the police which later on was staged as an encounter, and raghu was charged to be a disguised terrorist…but in all this only one thing was common Abubhai, the assistant police commissioner was in Abubhai's grip, so were a few ministers and MLAs, but why was the reason for Abu bhai to kill his protge…that too getting him framed and murdered brutally…even if Abubhai was behind all this he would not do it without any reason… and that reason must have been strong enough to take such a great measure…
Bani rested her head on her folded knees…was her simple demand behind raghu's death…had she been the cause of raghu's departure… was his death related to anything which she asked him that night…the night before which she had laid down the conditions before their gang…and everybody were stunned for a moment…that night when she was still unaware that she had conceived their child for over a month who was now resting peacefully…in the Mother Earth's lap…
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Bani hugged zaheer, Tabrez's son and Maria, Mathew's daughter to herself as she got ready to speak…
"Sab log aagaye…" she asked scanning the faces, jai was as usual sitting in the farthest corner, bani frowned… all the ladies were assembled on one side while all the men on the other side…eagerly waiting for her to speak…
"Aaj ka khaana kisa laga…" she asked…today she had specially prepared all non-vegetarian items for them…
"Bohot acha tha baniben…" tabrez said…as always being his sweet self…bani smiled…
"Humari kuch sharten aur maange hain aapke gang se…" bani said…causing raghu to laugh out loud…
"Maange, kya bolreli hain yedi…" he mocked her…bani pouted…
"Apne gang ke leader se keh dijiye hasna band kare…" bani said firmly…
"Acha chal bol, gussa kaiko karti hain…"
"Hum sabko lagta hain ki…yeh line chod sakte hain, jurm ki duniya se aam zindagi main aa sakte hain…kuch mushkilen hain par hum sab aapke saath hain…"
"Pagal hain kya tu…" raghu said…
"Bhai pehle suno toh…" jai urged…bani looked at him…jai averted his gaze…
"Koi zabardasti nahin hain par ham hume khushi hogi agar aap ek aam zindagi jeeyen bina kissi dar ke…aur zaroori baat ek account hoga jahaan aap sab har mahine ek rakam dalenge, yeh rakam bachon ki padhai, medical, aur baaki kamon ke liye use kiya jaayega…"
"Wah baniben…" tabrez clapped…so did others except jai…
"Aur haan, humare bache yeh line main nahin aayenge…humare bachen padhenge aur woh sab kuch karenge jo unka haq hain…chahe doctor bane, engineer ya kuch aur…par bache convent main padhenge aur taraki karenge…"
"Main doctor banoongi…bani chachi…" Maria exclaimed…bani ruffled her hair…
"Haan maria aur jab bohot badi doctor ban jaaogi na toh pehle apne raghu chacha ke gusse ka ilaag karna…" Maria laughed; the ladies stifled a giggle…
"Manzoor hain…" bani asked…everybody nodded their heads…
"Saira bhabhi bachon ko andar le jaaiye…" bani said saira did as asked…
"Ek aur baat, ghar main ko nasha nahin karega, bachon pe bura asar padta hain…drugs, sharaab, bidi, cigarette, ya kuch aur, sab bahar karenge, ghar par nahin…"
"Theek hain…" raghu said…bani noticed everybody's eyes were moist…
"Bas itna hi tha…" bani shrugged…a thunderous applause filled the claustrophobic room…
Bani removed her glass bangles as she prepared to sleep…raghu was sitting on the bed watching her…
"Kya hua…" bani asked…
"Tu itni achi kyun hain…" he asked…bani got up and sat near him…
"Tum ro rahe the na…" bani asked…
"Hmm…tune bachon ki baat boli na…dil pe laga re…" raghu kept his hand on his heart…
"Raghu chod do na yeh sab…"bani asked…she knew she was asking for the ultimate, but she was sick of living in fear, she wanted to escape, she wanted a free, independent life…
"Aadat hogayi hain re…aur in sabse nikalna mushkil hain…" raghu said as he placed his personal gun below his pillow…
"Koshish toh karo…"
"Hmm…time lagega…par try karega apun…sirf tere liye…" raghu said…bani hugged him tight…
Raghu made her lay down…he came upon her kissing her neck, bani went stiff, her eyes wide open, words jammed in her swelled throat…before she could bring herself to refuse him…her clothes were already pared…before falling asleep her last thought was of jai…and the admiration she saw in his eyes for her… …
XXXXX
Bani stood in front of jai's room; she knocked on the door hesitantly…a few minutes later she saw him standing in front of her…
"Aap...iss waqt…" jai asked quite surprised…
"Haan…woh…" bani trailed off…
"Andar aaiye…" he moved to let her in…
"Tumhe yaad hain maine tum sabse baat ki thi, bachon ki padhai ke bare main…" bani said…jai pulled out a chair for her but she remained standing…
"Haan…par ab…"
"Mujhe lagta hain…maine raghu se jo kaha tha shayaad uski wajah se woh bohot pareshaan hogaya tha…"
"Aapne kya kahaa tha…"
"Yeh sab chod dene ko…"
"Usne kya kahaa…"
"Ki woh koshish karega…" jai kept quite…
"Pata nahin us din ke baad se…raghu bohot pareshaan tha…aur bahar hi rehta tha…pata nahin…mujhe kuch samajh main nahin aa raha hain…"
Jai kept looking at her…he almost forgot her seeing smile…the gorgeous smile, the incomplete dimples which formed on her either cheek when hers rosy lips expanded into a smile…
He pulled her hand…taking her palm lightly in his hand, he lowered…placing feathery kisses…he first kissed the pinkish tips, then her slender fingers, then her baby like palm…then the light brownish lines which marked her destiny…he kissed them…softly, slowly… …
"Jai…" bani called out…jai jerked out of his trance…
"Huh…" he ran his fingers thorough his hair…he was hallucinating…he groaned…
"Kya hua…" bani asked
"Kuch…kuch nahin…main sochta hoon…aap…aap jaiye…"
"Theek hain…" bani turned to leave not before examining his clueless self once more… …
XXXXX
God bless
Dhani
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