**From & To Satish **( New Pictures Pl see pg 163) - Page 32

If we were to Honestly reply to all the HR Questions they would go
something like this (wondering what d reaction of d Interviewer wud
b!):

1. Why did you apply for this job?
A: I have applied for many jobs along with this and you called me now...
2. Why do you want to work for this company?
A: I have to work for some company who ever gives me a job, I don't
have any specific company in mind ...

3. Why should I hire you?
A: You anyways have to hire some one, you may give me a try ...

4. What would you do if we hire you?
A: Well, it depends on my mindset but I will try to work on whatever
is allotted to me ...

5. What is your biggest strength?
A: Basically, daring to join any company who pays me well, without
thinking of the fate of company...
6. What is your biggest weakness?
A: Girls (I like dis one!)...
7. What was your worst mistake, and how did you learn from it?
A: Joining my earlier company and learn that I need to jump to get
more money, so I am here today! ...

8. What accomplishments in your last position are you most proud of?
A: Had I accomplished any in my last position, why do I need to change
my job? I could demand more and stay there...

9. Describe a challenge you faced and how you overcame it?
A: Biggest challenge is answering the question "why are you looking
for a change" and I started blabbering irrelevantly to overcome
that...

10. Why did you leave/ are you leaving your last job?
A: For the same reason why you left your earlier job... More money!...

11. What do you want from this job?
A: Even if no work is given, keep giving good hikes ...
12. What are your career goals and how do you plan to achieve them?
A: Make more money and for that, keep jumping companies for every 2 yrs...

13. Did you hear of our company and what do you know of us?
A: Yeah, I know that you will ask this, I've gone through your website ...

14. What is the salary expected and how do u justify that?
A: Well, no one will change job for the same salary, hence, give me
20% extra than what I am getting and that is unpublished industry
standard (I know you will bargain on what ever I ask, hence, I have
already hiked my current salary by 30% !!!!)

If you ever get lost in India and want to find out where you are, this
is the best way of doing just that. !!

scenario 1
two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along,
then a fourth and
they start arguing about who s right - you are in Kolkata.

scenario 2
two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along,
sees them and walks on – that's Mumbai.

scenario 3
two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along &
tries to make
peace. the first two get together & beat him up - that's Delhi .

scenario 4
two guys are fighting.. a crowd gathers to watch. a guy
comes along and
quietly opens a chai stall - that s Ahmadabad .

scenario 5
two guys are fighting and a third guy comes. he writes
a software program to solve the issue but the fight does not stop
because of a bug in the program. that s Bangalore .

scenario 6
two guys are fighting. a crowd gathers to watch. a guy
comes along and quietly says "anna, dont fight for all this nonsense".
peace comes in - thats Chennai.

scenario 7
two guys are fighting. both of them take time out and
call their friends on mobile. now 50 guys are fighting. you are in Hyderabad

scenario 8
two guys are fighting.,third guys comes try to stop them
and get involved and call others too to stop,
finally stop them,you r in Rajasthan

scenario 9

two guys are fighting. a crowd gathers to watch.
someone calls police.
the police come and lathi charge all the people crowded there.

someonethrows stones at the police.

The police throw stones back at the crowd.

some people are arrested. damages the shops nearby.

Next day, harthal and holiday declared by government ......You are very much in
Thiruvananthapuram, the capital city of Kerala ...

Sathish,

one was easy, right? yes

1. Chewing on gum while cutting onions can help a person from stop producing tears. Try it next time you chop onions.

2. Until babies are six months old, they can breathe and swallow at the same time. Indeed convenient!

3. Offered a new pen to write with, 97% of all people will write their own name.

4. Male mosquitoes are vegetarians. Only females bite.

5. The average person's field of vision encompasses a 200-degree wide angle.

6. To find out if a watermelon is ripe, knock it, and if it sounds hollow then it is ripe .

7. Canadians can send letters with personalized postage stamps showing their own photos on each stamp.

8. Babies' eyes do not produce tears until the baby is approximately six to eight weeks old.

9. It snowed in the Sahara Desert in February of 1979.

10. Plants watered with warm water grow larger and more quickly than plants watered with cold water.

11. Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.

12. Grapes explode when you put them in the microwave.

13. Those stars and colours you see when you rub your eyes are called phosphenes.

14. Our eyes (Pupils) are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.

15. Everyone's tongue print is different, like fingerprints.

16. Contrary to popular belief, a swallowed chewing gum doesn't stay in the gut. It will pass through the system and be excreted.

17. At 40 Centigrade a person loses about 14.4 calories per hour by breathing.

18. There is a hotel in Sweden built entirely out of ice; it is rebuilt every year.

19. Cats, camels and giraffes are the only animals in the world that walk right foot, right foot, left foot, left foot, rather than right foot, left foot .

20. Onions help reduce cholesterol if eaten after a fatty meal.

21. The sound you hear when you crack your knuckles is actually the sound of nitrogen gas bubbles bursting.

The following is the philosophy of Charles Schultz, the creator of the "Peanuts" comic strip. You don't have to actually answer the questions. Just read the e-mail straight through, and you'll get the point.
1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.
2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.
3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America Contest.
4. Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.
5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress.
6. Name the last decade's worth of World Series winners.

How did you do?
The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday. They are not second-rate achievers. They are the best in their fields. But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.

Here's another quiz. See how you do on this one:
1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school...
2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.
3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.
4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.
5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.

Easier?
I love this!

The lesson: The people who make a difference in your life are NOT the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They are the ones who care.

Share this with those who have made a difference in your life.
I just did!
"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today.
It's already tomorrow in Australia ..."
( Charles Schultz )

heaven and hell

there were and are times when i sleep and wonder in my dreams
about death and where i would go after my life is over
morbid but curious to know my fate for it begs the question
have i been a good person,is my soul clean and devoid of evil
lots of times i have woken up with a smile knowing i will be okay
that i will be in safe hands when i say my last goodbyes

but what will heaven be like and if things turn out well
what will hell be like

i know now that it cannot be better or worse
up there or down there or where ever they exist

i have felt heaven here in the safety of my loved ones
i have felt heaven here when i have seen the first rays
of sunlight hanging over the horizon
i have felt heaven here when i sat on the beach
watching the horizon dark first,gray next and a blushing orange soon
i have sighed when my favourite dog on the beach buries his head on my
lap and looks at my face with pure love and tries to chew my shoelaces
i have felt heaven everyday of my adult life loved ones
have showered love on me and have held me when i was sad and down
i have felt heaven and god when i lay my head on the breast
of a gigantic tree and felt uttterly insignificant compared to it

but i have felt hell when i lost my kid brother and my parents
what more pain can hell give than losing your loved ones
and when you attend funerals of dear friends
what more pain can hell give compared to the guilt
when you have let down a friend or a loved one

Bottle of Wine

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold Monday morning; it's a bad one.. Both of their cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither of them is hurt. God works in mysterious ways. After they crawl out of their cars, the man is yelling about women drivers. The woman says, 'So, you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should be friends and live in peace for the rest of our days.'
Flattered, the man replies, 'Oh yes, I agree completely, this must be a sign from God! But you're still at fault...women shouldn't be allowed to drive.' The woman continues, 'And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune.'
She hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman.
The woman takes the bottle, puts the cap back on and hands it back to the man.
The man asks, 'Aren't you having any?'
The woman replies, 'No. I think I'll just wait for the police...'

MORAL OF THE STORY:
Women are EXTRA clever
Don't mess with them.