The next day at school started more dramatically than I would have imagined.
I was lost in thoughts as I approached sidewalk. It was sort of desolate section of campus. Atypical murmuring struck my ears. It was from the other side of the wall. I went closer. I normally don't do that. I am an introvert who likes to mind his own business. The whole scene seemed a little suspicious. Amongst usual noise around, I tried to focus on what was being said. It was very faint. I glued my right ear to the wall. Someone was crying. I concentrated more. That was a girl.
"I need you." She said in between sobbing.
"I don't care. We cannot be together anymore and you know that. And you know why too." A manly voice replied.
"You cannot do this to me. This is the time when I need you the most." weeping became clearer, probably louder.
"Don't you understand what I am saying? Why don't you get it? I have my whole life in front of me. I can't stay stuck with you." he was firm and rude.
"I am not asking for anything more than just holding my hands. Can't you, please? I need you." she was almost begging.
What you hear may be different than what you see. I was unable to resist my willingness to see what was going on.
Before I could peek, he said, "I got to go. Bye."
A moment later, a handsome guy appeared from behind the wall and went rushing by me. I felt like being caught red handed while stealing. I looked here and there to hide my embarrassment and pretended as if I didn't have a clue about the episode on the other side of the wall. He glared at me but continued walking. He was angry and irritated. His face seemed familiar. As a clue for me, he was in our school dress.
I was still curious to find out about the other side of the wall. I gathered courage and peeked a little. A cream bag was resting next to the wall; it had a big orange sunflower's print. A girl was standing with her back facing me. She was looking down, particularly at nothing. She was still crying. In fact she was crying more than before. I feel awkward in situations like these. I wanted to comfort her as much as I wanted to run away. Dilemmas are not for people with weak decision power. My wrist watch decided my choice for me. It beeped. She turned. That was Panchi!
I was stunned. The girl of my dreams, the girl whom I had always seen smiling, the girl whom I always wanted to see smiling, the girl whose smile used to make my day, the girl for whose smile I wanted to be the reason, was shattered in tears. Her eyes were red and swollen. She had cried more than I had heard. She abruptly stopped crying and started wiping her face. She was embarrassed. I was too. She did not want anyone to know about what happened. She bent to pick up her bag and started to leave.
"It's ok." I do not know from where I could excavate the guts to say that; more importantly, at that time.
She stopped. She did not want to make an eye contact with me. I permitted.
"It's ok. See, I do not know what is wrong, but whatever it is, I am sure there will be a way to get through it. Please don't cry. Please."
She looked at me. Her eyes were asking a few questions. Before I could shuffle my thoughts for a few words, she asked in tattered voice, "Do I know you?"
"Mmm...No." I felt sad saying this. I wish you knew me.
"Hmm, so?" she was trying really hard to keep her voice normal.
"I am sorry." I said. "I was just passing by and overheard your conversation. I am sorry; I did not mean to interfere."
"Ok" and she started to leave.
I wanted to stop her. I wanted to tell her so much. I wanted to tell her how I was feeling seeing her like that. Only what came out was, "Panchi!"
She stopped again, a little surprised. "Do you know me?"
"Well, yes. Actually, no. I mean, I am Ranveer, from 10-A. I just know that you are in 12-C. That's it. Anyways that does not matter. I just want to tell you something."
"Yes?"
This is not the right time to tell what you actually want to tell her. Be responsible, be sensible, do not ruin this, do what situation demands; comfort her.
my inner voice said to me.
"I want to tell you that... mmm... How do I say it?" Even though I was getting a little comfortable with the situation, I could not find words to express what I was feeling. "You are so beautiful and no reason can be big enough so as to bring a tear to your eyes. Please don't punish yourself. I have no right to tell you what to do or not to do, but I have an advice. Do not let anyone decide lifetime of your smile. Your smile is what you earn by being yourself; value it."
I was surprised at what I said. This is not anything from what I had rehearsed in my mind a million times as my first conversation with her. I was sounding astonishingly mature in my own ears. I didn't know how she perceived it.
There was a weird awkwardness about the whole situation. She was taken aback by a stranger's advice. To fill in the void of the situation, she took out her pink hanky and tried to rub off her sadness along with her tears. It was a failed attempt. She was still standing there. Why? Why is she still waiting here? She wanted to hear more from me but I was running out of words. I hate these situations when I know what I have to do but I don't know how? I got my next clue when school bell rang.
"Shall we go to class?" I asked as politely as I could.
"You carry on." She said.
"Ok." I turned towards lobby.
"Ranveer!" She said in clearest voice till now.
My tummy tickled. My name never sounded so pleasant to my ears. I turned and smiled, "Yes?"
"Thanks!" With still teary face, her smile looked beautiful.
"Welcome! Take Care." I had got the perfect closure to the conversation. I had got a smile to her crying face. I felt like a man.
I will post the next part tomm. 😛
Bade Achhe Lagte Hain
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