FF - Mere Dil Ki Daily Dastaan( Sahiba×Angad) -23/3/23 -NewUpdate!pg3 - Page 2

Hello....welcome. Loved the drabble 😍 Eagerly waiting for Angad's pov 🥰🥰

Originally posted by: averma4583

Welcome to the forum! Found the Drabble amusing! Keep it up!

Thank you so very much jiii❤️

Originally posted by: mirai07

Hello....welcome. Loved the drabble 😍 Eagerly waiting for Angad's pov 🥰🥰

Thank you so very much ji...❤️ so happy to hear this🥳yup...I am just about to post angads pov 😃

Helloooo everyoneeeee

Thank you so much for the warm welcome here and the support to my first write up on angad × sahiba...😃

And yes - here I am with Angad's POV

Please note - this POV point is written under the circumstances after all that's happened in today's episode before Garry's manipulation( which is upcoming tomorrow)

..............

2. Angad's POV

In His Room - He's deep in thought- All restless

Kya yeh sach hai? Kya yeh sach mein sach hai? Ki iss ladki ko mujh mein kabhi koi interest tha hi nai? Na kabhi hoga? Kya yeh sach hai?

I hear a small voice coming outta my heart chip in at that - Haan angad...yeh sach hi hai..uski Nazrein/ aur baatein toh hamesha yahi bolti aayi hai...par tumne hi nai kabhi mana...aur tumhare dimag ne hamesha uski intentions ko ukta hi samjha hai...ab yeh tum hi apne aap se poocho...yeh samjhdari hai tumhari? Ki tumhara ego hurt hota hai isiliye tumhare dimag ka yeh aisa revolt hai????

Dammit. Shayad log sach hi kehte hai...duniya se bhag lo...par apne aap se nai bhag sakte...yeh kya sawal pooch liya mere dil ne mujhse???

Dammit.

Kya main usse itna irritate/ usse itni nafrat isiliye karta hun? Kyunki usne har baar mere male ego ko hurt kiya hai??har baar? Kyunki mera male ego kabhi digest hi nai kar paya ki yeh ek akeli ladki yeh poore duniya mein...jo mere saamne hamesha...chattaan ki tarah khadi rehti hai...aur bilkul nidar..

And you know what's crazy guys?? Ki I just relaised mere pass iss baat ka koi clear cut solid answer nai hai...kyunki dimag toh band hi pada hai aaj ke scene ke baad....aap logo nentoh dekha na...kya hungama hua na aaj reception mein uski wajah se????

I hear that dammed small little choice chip is from my heart again - really? Angad? Apne aap se poocho? Yeh Hungama uski wajah se hua? Kya usse pata tha? Police aajyegi? Aur yaad karo..usne toh tumhe bataya tha ki woh police station gayi thi...tumne hi nai suna..uska kaha kuch bhi..hamesha ki tarah...sun lete toh shayad bata deti??? Aur ek baar poocho angad apne aap se...woh tumhe itna affect kyun karti hai? Shayad tum uske aage aate hi badtameezein ki dukaan khud ban jaate ho..kyunki isse pehle kisi ladki ne tumhe itna affect nai kiya...aur yeh baat tum apne andar dabaatein ho..mannnana nai chahte..isiliye andar volcano bane ghoomte ho..aur uske saame sirf tumse..lava hi nikalta hai...kyun angad kyun????? Poocho apne aap se...

Dammit. DAMMIT...dammit...Nooooo! Nai poochne apne aap se yeh sawal...mujhe...nai poochne...

My heart retaliates - kyun nai poochna? Kya Jawab mil sakte hai andar tumhe woh soch ke darr lag raha hai???

Godammit!

Yeh dil ki awaz ko kaise mute karun abhi??? Isko mein zyada uthne nai de sakta...ek baar dil ki sunke kitna suffer kiya maine...dobaara kabhi nai..

My Dammit heart chips in that again though - Angad..yeh toh tumhari rooh ko bhi pata hai ki seeirat se tumhe pyaar nai...infatuation hui thi...kisi ko bina jaane...usse pyaar kaise ho sakta hai? Maine tumhe gumrah nai kiya..phir se...tumhare dimag ne wahi dekha...jo tum dekhna chahte the..jabki kitne alert signs bhi bheje the maine tumhe...apne Dard ka zimmedar kuch Hadd taq banda khud bhi hota hai angad...kyunki kai baar yeh hamari choices ka consequences hota hai...

Nai...nai...bilkul nai...mujhe seeirat se pyaar tha..infatuation nai...

My heart asks again - really?? Pyaar tha? Toh pyaar ka matlab toh samjhao mujhe? Tumne sahiba se poocha kinusse kya pata pyaar kya hai? Kya tumhe pata hai...ki pyaar kya hai?????

I open my bloodshot eyes at that and gaze into the mirror of my own reflection....and all I see is pain and angst...and I also realise that I don't have a clear answer to that just yet???

Was I never really in love with Seeirat? Was I just infatuated with how amazing she looked? Was I that shallow at the point??? I can't seem to process the angst I see in my eyes at this point which is why I just close them shut again - instantly and hard...

My hearts chips in at that - haan angad..isiliye tum aap se bhi gussa ho..bass accept nai karna chahte...aur isiliye saara gusse ka lava sahiba pe nikal to..jaise ki woh tumhari punching bag hai...yeh sahi nai hai...angad...yeh sahi nai hai...socho..please? Gusse mein andhein mat bano..

And finally from somewhere I hear my mind chip in now - yeh dil ki baat mat suno angad...mat suno..pehle tum isi ki wajah se syaape mein phase ho...bass meri suno...

Dammit. And just like that I feel a war of words come in retaliation from my mind at me...hard...and suddenly I feel so freaking trapped...in between my own mind vs heart..

Perhaps the only solace in the moment can be a glass of alcohol???

Perhaps I have no other way out than to resort to it??????

I hear my heart scream out loud at that - NOO! You have a way out..angad...you have a way out. GET TO KNOW SAHIBA FOR WHO SHE IS...BEGIN ON THAT JOURNEY AND YOU WILL HAVE ALL YOUR ANSWERS...don't resort to use od substances to distract yourself from your turmoils...

But do I listen to that voice coming out from my heart right now????

Nooo!

I just consciously snooze on it myself...Silence it..mute it...for now...Again!

Why? If you may ask? Because my mind simply is in no mood to trust my heart ever again...

How can I trust my heart ever again? When all its landed me into is - a freaking shattered mess?????

A shattered mess within that I feel so trapped in...

A shattered mess ..that...I have no idea how to begin cleaning up...Within...just yet..

................

Tadaaaa!! How was that guys???

Honestly I do think...angad is like so trapped in between his own mind and heart and he hasn't been able to figure a way out.. yet....so wanted to pen down a glimpse....of that through my words..and imagination....

Tomorrow's mini pov will come in from Sahiba's POV

Thanks guys! Much Love × Gratitude

Prachi

Why can't they show some such monologues in serial. It's so good to hear their thoughts

I feel u have put Angad's confusion very accurately and it actually makes sense as he must have drilled himself from very young age to think with brain and not emotionally. The one decision he took from heart backfired spectacularly so it's understandable he doesn't want to give in to any weakness or I should say perceived weakness as per him

Nice start

Love it

Hello everyone…

Here I am with today’s mini pov fromSahiba’s end. Please note – this POV comes in from her end at the end of todays episode whilst she is in her room by herself.This is my take on her inner turmoil…

Poor her is all trapped in this situationas well, and she’s surely as broken in her being…

And yes, I would like to express mysincere gratitude to all of you for your lovely support to my work here either throughlikes/reactions/comments.Means a lot to me guys…😃😳

Thank you - dreamer007,plmzaq,averma4583,abhimita_love,ashviniv, tasriS, bubblesort, milalal27, mirai07,nobleaditi6, piyushi,anjali9996, ayu_12, kalavathi5, az07

….

Hope you all enjoy reading thisangsty bit from Sahiba’s POV. Will let you all dive in without further delay..

.......................................

3. SAHIBA’S POV

Dum ghoot raha hai mera…

Itna ki isse pehle kabhi nai ghuta. Kamaal ki baat toh dekho? Kaise mod pe le aayi hai zindagi…yeh nai samajh aaraha ki iss insaan se vyaah kartein samya…dum zyada ghota tha mera ki… uss waqt pe zyaada ghut raha tha…iske saath stage pe phir se acting karke ki sab normal hai…itni drame ke baad…

Ki ab zyada ghoot raha hai…yeh sochke…ki main iske ghar mein hi reh rahi hun….

Ki mujhe aakhir…iske ghar mein rehna pad raha hai…

Dum kaise nai ghootega mera?

Jabki mujhe dil mein pata hai..ki yahan…ya angad aur mere beech…kabhi kuch normal ho hi nai sakta hai. Yeh sab ....mujhe kabhi nai samjhenge. Hamesha mujhe galat hi samjhenge…

Aur uppar se …Yeh Angad… kaisa insaan hai…mujhe pata nai…

Kehta tha meri seeirat di se pyaar karta tha?? Pyaar karta tha? Toh kya ek bhi second ki liye unki chinta nai hui sochke…ki woh kahan hai abhi tak gayab hai…insaaniyat ki khatir hi? Thike…main maanti hun unse gussa hoga…dil toota hai uska…unki wajah se..par agar aap kisise pyaar karo…toh aap hamesha yahi chahoge na…ki woh banda kisi bhi circumstancemein ho..kam se kam safe toh rahe? Kam se ka..rab se yeh toh manao ge na? ki usspe koi aanch na aaye???

Ki yap hir yeh manaoge? Chahoge ki woh insaan problem mein hi pad jaaye??? ki zindagi usse sabak sikhaye? yeh revenge ka angle toh mere pale nai padta...

Pata nai yaar…agar revenge pyaar ka part hua? Toh kya woh sach mein pyaar hai? ya kuch aur?

Shayad main hi galat hun yeh sochke…sapne dekh ke..ki sacha pyaar aaj bhi duniya mein kayam yeh…woh…pyaar jisme koi chal ya kapat nai ho…sirf sukoon aur shanti…mile…

Haan shayad main hi galat hun…puri tarike se galat hun…yeh toh nai pata…Bass itna pata hai..ki ab mujhe pakka wishwaas hota jaa raha hai ki iss insaan ko kabhi meri seeirat di se sacha pyaar hua hi nai tha…isse sirf unki looks hi pasand thi….

Aur ab mujhe yeh bhi wishwaas hotajaa raha hai…ki main iss syaape mein din bar din aur hi phas thi jaa rahi hun…ek taraf main in sab se nikalna chahti hun…aur doosri taraf…mein isme khud hi ulajhti jaa rahi hun…aur yeh mera hi kiya hua hai na…ab isme…duniya ko ..in sabko…kab tak dosh dun…in sab mein…main bhi bhaage dar hun…natak kar rahi hun…toh main hi kar rahi hun na…

Shayad sach hi kehte hai..har insaan…apne problems ka kuch hadh tak toh responsible khud bhi hota hai…

Main kyun nai apne dil se seeirat di ke liye darr nikaal paa rahi? Kyun mujhe in sab ko prove karne ki itni parwah hai? Ki woh in sab mein akeli nai ho sakti….

Mann toh kya karta haina mera…ki bass find out karlun ki exactly hua kya tha uss din…aur bass yeh sach sab ke..saamnele aaun…aur phir iss sab se..in sab logon se bahut door chali jaaun…mujhe nai chahiye yeh sab….mujhe nai hona uss duniya ka part jis mein mere liye koi respect nai…nai rehna mujhe bhi uss insaan ke saath…joh mujhe samjhta hi nai…jo mujhse sirf nafrat karta hai…aur har kadam pe meri disrespect karta hai….

Ab rab se bhi kya bolun…kehte hai..rabne toh har kisi ke liye koi banaya hai…rab hi dil jodta hai…daar ji kehte hai ki rab ne meri aur angad ki jodi banayi? Kyun rab ne mere saath aisa kiya?yeh toh main nai jaanti…par itna main zarror jaanti hun…jiss insaan se rab ne aaj meri dor jod di hai…woh insaan…toh mere liye nai bana…na main uske liye bani hun……

Hamari jodi sukoon/mohabbat ki kabhi ho hi nai sakti hamesha…nafrat aur gusse ki hi rahegi…

Aur yeh baat usse bhi andar se kha rahi hai…aur mujhe bhi…

Ab main apna dukh kahan jaake bayaan karun? Pata nai? Jo ki mere andar bass hi gaya hai…

Banawat/Dikhawa/Jhoot – in sab se mujhe kitni nafrat thi na? Aur aaj main khud hi in sab ka hissa banti jaa rahi hun….balki banti jaa rahi hun nai..samjho ban hi gayi hoon…..

Toh phir aap hi batao…

Kaise na ghoote mera dum..

Kaisa na atke mere saansein??

Kaise na tadpe mera dil?

Aur….Kaise na toote meri rooh??????????

…………………………….

……………………………..

Tadaaaaaaa!

How was that guys????

also yes -

P.S – Tomorrow’s precap has me goingall like – no wayyyyy, really? no matter what the situation…can the male lead not act like a crazy disresepectful maniac?please?like when will the makers stop normalising this unacceptable act of misbehaviour in anger?or wrath?? Anyways,I will wait to see the episode before final thoughts on this…but yes…. I don’t know about the show – but I plan to show Angad really repenting hard for this drunken misdeed of this in his upcoming POV…incase this does happen in the show..anyway...

Like this is so not Him…he better freaking repent hard and bad for this in the show like…ideally this shouldn’t even happen from his end…

Ugghh…lets see how this is explored further…

Beautifully written 👏 ❤️

Okayyyyy guys...

Seriously...I just don't believe what I saw towards the end of today's episode. I mean until a point I was loving the bit of Sahiba giving it back to Manbeer left , right , center! Then ofcourse it was cringing to see Garry at his lowest best instigating Angad ....but what happened post that just ended up being super toxic and problematic to my eyeeee.....

LIKE HOW CAN THIS LEVEL OF MISCONDUCT BE NoRMALISED ON TV EVEN TODAY? I JUST DONT GET IT. THIS TOTALLY GOES DOWN AS MENTAL/EMOTIONAL ABUSE AND attempt to SEXUAL ASSUALT I pathetic MANHANDLING IN MY DICTIONARY...so freaking TOXIC AND UNACCEPTABLE...DID THEY REALLY JUST SHOW ANGAD AT HIS LOWEST??? LIKE THEY JUST BUTCHERED HIS CHARACTER ARC IN MY EYES WITH THIS...EVEN IF IT WAS UNDER THE FREAKING INFLUENCE OF ALCOHOL...

like veer did his best to stop Angadd! but the man just pushed Veer away...even his father spotted him wandering all drunk near Sahiba's room and called daarji saying all thanks to you we have another person turning alcoholic in this family....but then he walked away...after and did not see Angad entering Sahiba's room...only Veer did...(Assuming Veer will bring this out to light...eventually...)

ANYWAYS NOW BACK TO THE MOST TOXIC BIT... I CAN'T FREAKING DIGEST YET...

ANGAD SINGH BRAR - WHAT THE HELL IS FREAKING WRONG WITH YOU???????? HOW DARE YOU ACT LIKE THIS TOWARDS A WOMAN???

LIKE MY BLOODS ALL BOILING GUYS...WHY COULDNT THEY JUST CUT THIS SEQUENCE...WHY DID THEY HAVE TO SHOW ANGAD STOOPING SO LOW...IN MY OPINION...THIS IS FREAKING JUST UNACCEPTABLE...

Like he seemed to have legit lost it with claiming sick things like...you'v ruined me, hurt me, now you see how i will ruin you, hurt you, IMPLYING he is there to force himself on her...while advancing towards her and manhandling her side by side...like good on sahiba to freaking just shove him back so many times...she was infact going out to call his family to witness his misconduct when he ended up raging - i love you...for seeirat(ofcourse)

ughh. ughh. like this just did it for me...I feel like I am so done with this particular torturous pathetic toxic arc in TMD!

So - until yesterday I was penning down a FF - Mere Dil Ki Daily Dastaan - which was attempt at showing Angad* Sahiba's POV going through their respective turmoils...but post todays episode...I don't think i can continue depitcting either of their respective POV"s in line with what they are showing in the show or might show in the coming future... because...I simply don't resonate with it...as in...Angad shouldn't have freaking done any of this in the first place and now that he has...in my opinion Sahiba shouldn't just tolerate it...and should freaking just walk out the brar mansion..come what may...no matter what the consequences...

Hence, now am planning to start a New - Story - Shattered - in which I will explore writing...the tale of TMD here on(post this disgusting event)....as per my fictional imagination....starting with Sahiba freaking walk out of this crap - the next morning...

Ughhh...like.....blood's still boiling rethinking of Angad's misconduct...