Mujhe Divorce Chahiye

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ZayaHarshika

@ZayaHarshika

Dazzler

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#81

Okay so.. Honestly.. Yesterday, I was the first one to read this but didn't comment coz i didn't know how to sum up my thoughts.. So finally here goes my Bhaashan 😆
I get where u'r comin from.. But honestly what i feel is that this is from a typical feminist POV.. If u look deeper and try to understand the situtation, Kunj is at no fault either.. He is plain angry because his wife hid something as serious as this.. And if u look from kunj's POV, he's not wrong either.. He's mentally not stable,emotionally drained, he is literally on the verge of loosing his dad and there goes his wife who says she knew it all and thought that she'd handled that matter.. Which sane person wouldn't get angry? I'm sure most of us would especially when the whole matter gets out of hand like this one, he knows she didn't leak those pictures and he very clearly said it out loud to anita which is again a plus point.. The only thing which is making him angry is that she didn't even tell him

"mujhe toh bataa sakti thi nuh?mujhe?"

That shows he wanted her to confide in him and tell him since it was a very serious fiasco..
Twinkle is right in her own place, she did it for "his" family but lets be practical here .. She should have told somebody.. Not kunj maybe but somebody who would guide her and make sure she didn't leave any loopholes for ex : bebe or leela..

Abt all the abuse.. I have nothing to say.. From episode 1 she's been a victim of abuse.. Mentall,physical,emotional all types of abuse..
What they really need is to have some space which they r getting thanks to usha rani to think qbt their relationship, to know where they stand.. And honestly divorce is a huge step in any relationship.. And its not abt cultural differences in the western or the asian side.. Divorce in any culture is a huge step because its breaking one of the most possessed,intimate relationship of urs which is not easy for both the partners irrespective of whether they hate or loved each other once upon a time..

All i'm saying is.. This is all normal.. Happens in some of the households too.. But divorce is a huge step, sure they can have a break and give each other space but divorce for this reason is a BIG no..

😃

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asmaanixx

@asmaanixx

Achiever

+ 5

Posted: 9 years ago

#82

Originally posted by: teddyyy
Damn, now wouldn't that be great! Have them sit down and actually talk everything out. It would eliminate so many existing mysteries and bridge so many misunderstandings. Here's to hoping this actually happens one day because it would be amazing to see and a great progression not only for the couple but how television represents young couples.

It will not only be great but also totally logical. I mean, what modern day couple doesn't talk? If they can risk their lives for each other, they can sure as hell talk.

Most of the time why misunderstandings develop and become hostile is because of the lack of communication. This is the first thing they should work on if they want to rebuild their relationship.

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Scarlet Wizard

@FromTheAshes

Stunner

+ 10

Posted: 9 years ago

#83

Originally posted by: asmaanixx

It will not only be great but also totally logical. I mean, what modern day couple doesn't talk? If they can risk their lives for each other, they can sure as hell talk.

Most of the time why misunderstandings develop and become hostile is because of the lack of communication. This is the first thing they should work on if they want to rebuild their relationship.

Can I say I love both of you for saying this Gur and Teddy🤗

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asmaanixx

@asmaanixx

Achiever

+ 5

Posted: 9 years ago

#84

Originally posted by: Filmi_Samy
@Gurleen - that would be first in indian tele show where they show the couple have a one on one- i remember Twinkle did try once!

after she confronted him about the farmhouse incident! but Kunj backed away saying that there is no need! as he likes to keep everything bottled up!

I get it may be difficult to talk about certain things, but feelings need to be let out. If not with each other, then someone who can mediate for them.

Why not go to Bebe? She is their elder and more rational than both of them put together.

If not her, then go to a third party for counseling. But just do something and begin from somewhere. If feelings aren't discussed at the earliest, then they will come out in some of the most ugliest ways possible.

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teddyyy

@teddyyy

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 9 years ago

#85

Originally posted by: .FlightOfEagle.

Can I say I love both of you for saying this Gur and Teddy🤗

I think I'm quoting the third time, hope it's okay Gur 😆 Completley agree with how if they can risk their lives for one another, they can have one honest conversation at least! Communication is vital.

And haha, love ya too Hridey! :D

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asmaanixx

@asmaanixx

Achiever

+ 5

Posted: 9 years ago

#86

Originally posted by: 3dancelover
I really do not know what to do it with Usha. I don't remember that scene maybe I will go and watch. And I think I was talking about this with Teddy on her post. I hope Twinkle being away makes Kunj realize how much he misses her and maybe just maybe Usha Rani realizes her sons love.
He is Twinkle's sole greatest mistake that she is repenting for until today. Could not agree more with the statement. He has been the root of her problems. I think their relationship will move forward but until the Yuvi situation is fixed they can never be fully complete. Fingers crossed their communication gets better too!

I want Twinkle to blow up on Kunj too. Or at least not return so easily. He needs to earn her like you said before. I am awaiting those scenes the most in this track.

I get what you mean. If I were to deliver Kunj's POV i would say that at the point he could not believe the state she is in and he thinks it is for Mahi, a girl who does not even respect Twinkle. And to see Twinkle in harm maybe caused the outburst. That was my take. I was glad he came back for her though. This time he did not :(.

Kunj and Twinkle have been through hell since day 1. They can never catch a break!

I am actually a tiny bit happy that CVs portrayed Kunj this way (I know people probably hate me for saying this and think there is something wrong with me). I only like it because it shows us not everyone is perfect and not everyone has to be perfect. The man we all label as goals has some flaws that cause deep trouble.

I agree on the whole diverge thing. Hated Leela at that point. Thats because i hate RT. I mean I guess now I would say give the track a try or at least wait for it. Because at the end of it all it should get better even if hell happens again. And distance makes a relationship stronger, isn't that a take on things?

Well I guess I will reply next time technically tomorrow, even though it is 2:30 am. My pain meds are making me drowsy so I am going to hit the hay soon.

Oh he's definitely going to see her worth in his life now that she's gone. As for Usha, it's either she recognizes Twinkle as Kunj's love or she's going to see her as doing some sort of 'kala jadoo' over him. -_-

The way to get rid of Yuvi is to get rid of Anita first. Yuvi is staying there because Anita is there. If she's gone, then he will have to as well as he has no reason to stay in that house. I don't know why, but I'm pinning hopes on Mahi to do something. That woman is stubborn as hell and it's about time she used it for some good.

I can totally understand the anger that overcame Kunj. I remember my Dad being furious with me when I almost drowned as a kid. He went on a tirade of how this was the worst vacation ever, how could you be so stupid, etc. The fear of losing someone you love the most unhinges people. However, the least that Kunj could have done was take her home, see that she is safe and then drive off if he had to. But leaving her out on the road, where there are more risks of her being harmed wasn't smart of him.

I am okay with Kunj having flaws. I don't expect him to be the a God or a perfect man. However, if it comes at the cost of Twinkle's self-respect, then I'm not okay with it. We don't need to sacrifice a woman's integrity just to build up the complexity of a man.

The distance and relation thing is a romanticized notion that people say to fool themselves into believing that their love is going to be eternal. It is not. Distance does not improve things all the time. While it may make you recognize some importance, it does not mend cracks in relationships. With time, the cracks grow wider and wider and deeper and deeper. It's like the cracks you see in sidewalks. They got worse as the years go by and the only way to fix them is to either start all over again or fill it in with new cement. The new addition won't be joining the two previous connecting points but rather adding an additional piece that will now be in between them. And the new slate completely eliminates the old and allows them to start afresh.

I may have gone a bit overboard with that ^^ analogy but I hope it makes sense. 😆

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asmaanixx

@asmaanixx

Achiever

+ 5

Posted: 9 years ago

#87

Originally posted by: .FlightOfEagle.
@Red I second that!
but I acknowledge the fact that Kunj realises his mistakes and apologies many times in indian TV it happens that mistakes are just forgotten.
@Bold I so so so agree with this we need a episode solely dedicated to this scene It is much Needed!

It may be due to the fact that this show is aired six days a week, but I feel that TEI moves way too fast. It simply does not allow its characters to cope with happened to them previously that they are attacked by another problem.

Just look at the quick succession in which Twinkle tried to commit suicide, and then was almost raped. She barely had time to come out of her depressive state, that two days later she had to face another trauma. That too, she didn't have enough time to cope with before she had to be shooed away to Mumbai to get married.

They need to allow space and time for characters to dwell and muse over the things that are going on in their lives.

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asmaanixx

@asmaanixx

Achiever

+ 5

Posted: 9 years ago

#88

Originally posted by: ZayaHarshika
Okay so.. Honestly.. Yesterday, I was the first one to read this but didn't comment coz i didn't know how to sum up my thoughts.. So finally here goes my Bhaashan 😆
I get where u'r comin from.. But honestly what i feel is that this is from a typical feminist POV.. If u look deeper and try to understand the situtation, Kunj is at no fault either.. He is plain angry because his wife hid something as serious as this.. And if u look from kunj's POV, he's not wrong either.. He's mentally not stable,emotionally drained, he is literally on the verge of loosing his dad and there goes his wife who says she knew it all and thought that she'd handled that matter.. Which sane person wouldn't get angry? I'm sure most of us would especially when the whole matter gets out of hand like this one, he knows she didn't leak those pictures and he very clearly said it out loud to anita which is again a plus point.. The only thing which is making him angry is that she didn't even tell him

"mujhe toh bataa sakti thi nuh?mujhe?"

That shows he wanted her to confide in him and tell him since it was a very serious fiasco..
Twinkle is right in her own place, she did it for "his" family but lets be practical here .. She should have told somebody.. Not kunj maybe but somebody who would guide her and make sure she didn't leave any loopholes for ex : bebe or leela..

Abt all the abuse.. I have nothing to say.. From episode 1 she's been a victim of abuse.. Mentall,physical,emotional all types of abuse..
What they really need is to have some space which they r getting thanks to usha rani to think qbt their relationship, to know where they stand.. And honestly divorce is a huge step in any relationship.. And its not abt cultural differences in the western or the asian side.. Divorce in any culture is a huge step because its breaking one of the most possessed,intimate relationship of urs which is not easy for both the partners irrespective of whether they hate or loved each other once upon a time..

All i'm saying is.. This is all normal.. Happens in some of the households too.. But divorce is a huge step, sure they can have a break and give each other space but divorce for this reason is a BIG no..

😃

Hey there!

You will be right in saying that I am speaking from a feminist's POV. When Twinkle was being abused and Kunj used to fight her, I would advocate for his side and berate Twinkle for not being able to see what she is going through. Her self-worth, her self-esteem and her self-respect - the lack of them all had quite astonished me. But here, when we have that lack of faith/trust, you can't just pinpoint it down to one person. The problem lies with both parties.

Why didn't Twinkle tell Kunj? Is it merely because of the promise she made to his father? Or is it because of a sub-conscious feeling of distrust and insecurity? She got into this marriage thinking that he had tried to rape her. She had recently come out of a misunderstanding where she felt he may wish to settle down with Maya. Now, we are at a stage where Kunj is (maybe unintentionally) differentiating the two in their familial relationships. The Tanejas are his family but the Sarnas can't be Twinkle's? He sees his family as his alone and has not yet accepted Twinkle as a part of that family.

I do agree with you on the part where she should have told at least someone. Bebe would have been the smartest choice as who would dare to deny her? But she didn't and now she is paying the price for it by being kicked out of the house by Usha.

I get that after marriage family dynamics change. However, it is vital to establish what importance a marital relationship has compared to the familial. We have always seen the women constantly be placed in a position to sacrifice everything they hold dear whereas the men have the luxury to be in the comforts of their home surrounded by people they have grown up with.

I respect your decision for saying no to the divorce. If TwiNj are able to grow as healthy minded individuals with merely a separation, then kudos to them. But if not, and if they truly wish to start from a clean slate, (building their careers, getting to know each other outside of their families through social interactions, getting married to each other through their own desires), then divorce is the way to go.

But each to its own.

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asmaanixx

@asmaanixx

Achiever

+ 5

Posted: 9 years ago

#89

Final Note:

I know I have left many notes before but this one is legit.

Today (yesterday? It's all a blur at this point) has been one of the worst days of my life. Not because of what happened on the forum but because of the whole ignorant and insensitive behavior that I have dealt with throughout that day (began with BW, then HW, went to TEI, school and just... *sigh*). Ironically, they had all been strongly connected to each other in similar themes.

The inability to acknowledge people's feelings, their personal autonomy and the basic right to live out a as a human being without having their personal choices to be called into question is appalling. I cannot understand how it is that we are living in 2016 with a mentality that is so ignorant, hypocritical, and regressive. The failure to take action when it is required is unacceptable.

Bullying, abuse, the misuse of power/authoritative privilege, whatever you want to call it, needs to stop. People need to start taking action against the wrongs are committed. Only then will you get to see some change occur.

But if people would rather live in some ignorant bliss and live in an age of oppression, then that's your sad call. I for one, am not going to stand for it and will speak up when I see something going wrong.

I have been defensive/offensive, again, whatever the hell you want to call it, for a valid reason. Oppression/abuse cannot be accepted in ANY shape or form. Once again, if people fail to see this, then sorry but.. I just can't be around this type of negativity.

For those of you who will misconstrue my words, I am not saying this because my opinion was not accepted by everyone. I couldn't care less about who's 'side' someone is on. It is your opinion that has been based on your personal life experiences, morals, principles and values. I'm not going to go around shoving my ideas and viewpoints down your throats.

However, I do have a problem when people begin to twist my words, start to poke at my character, or simply go around talking behind my back. If you have a problem with me, say it to my face and let's deal with it like mature adults. There is no need to be making sly remarks and forming 'teams' or 'sides'.

I do not condone this behavior and I won't be taking any part of it either.

As I had stated before, I will not be that active due to school but consider this as my official goodbye until the time I decide to come back.

Think of me as however you want. A drama queen, irrational, a coward, 'hyper', whatever.

At this point, I'm done and just don't give a damn.

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Scarlet Wizard

@FromTheAshes

Stunner

+ 10

Posted: 9 years ago

#90

Originally posted by: asmaanixx

It may be due to the fact that this show is aired six days a week, but I feel that TEI moves way too fast. It simply does not allow its characters to cope with happened to them previously that they are attacked by another problem.

Just look at the quick succession in which Twinkle tried to commit suicide, and then was almost raped. She barely had time to come out of her depressive state, that two days later she had to face another trauma. That too, she didn't have enough time to cope with before she had to be shooed away to Mumbai to get married.

They need to allow space and time for characters to dwell and muse over the things that are going on in their lives.

I soi agree with the pace thing,The show really moves fast,sometimes its good to have fast paced story lines but surely it happens that there is not enough time given for proper closure of the tracks something things are left unanswered.

They need to make it a little slow.

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