TwiNj Drabble::Soulmates-Toghether Yet Apart 7/3/2016 - Page 4

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asmaanixx thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#31
Edited my comment from page two. ^_^
FromTheAshes thumbnail
Posted: 9 years ago
#32

Originally posted by: asmaanixx

Super sorry for commenting on this late!

I had everything that I wanted to say when I first read it. Just forgot to edit the post. xD

But here I am now! ^_^

Will give you the feedback in point form as that will be the easiest for right now.
  • It's best to write out numbers into words. (E.g., 10 should be written out as 'ten'.)
  • Capitalize names.
  • Go over your punctuation.
  • All dialogues should be in quotation marks.
  • Every new thought/idea/dialogue should be its own paragraph.
  • Avoid run-on sentences.
  • Go over your spelling.
  • Edit. Especially when you're formatting your piece to look visually pleasing. Sometimes, the formatting itself makes some tiny errors that could be avoided.
If you have anything else you want me to look over, or would like a more in-depth review, then let me know. :)

I am going to Work on all the points you mentioned,What about the plot,The way of writing 😳

Because you know I have always written pieces are that usual and are no different but this one was an new try altoghether!
So that Is why its so special to me😳
Rubab_Naqvi thumbnail
10th Anniversary Thumbnail Visit Streak 180 Thumbnail + 7
Posted: 9 years ago
#33
OMG M sory as m super late
but this was just awesome..
Its kinda deficult to imagine twinj here but
You nailed it m speechles dont have words to express my feelings right knw..amazing
Keep writing
asmaanixx thumbnail
18th Anniversary Thumbnail Achiever Thumbnail + 5
Posted: 9 years ago
#34

Originally posted by: .FlightOfEagle.

I am going to Work on all the points you mentioned,What about the plot,The way of writing 😳

Because you know I have always written pieces are that usual and are no different but this one was an new try altoghether!
So that Is why its so special to me😳


Plot wise, I really liked this. The content was really different and gave a very somber, melancholic feeling to it. Take more risks like this and write about stories that are not the norm. If you follow what others are writing, then you won't grow as a creative/imaginative writer. No one will bother to read your story if they can get it from someone else.

The style definitely could have had more impact, but again, that was dependent on the editing of the story.

Shorter sentences, a bit more reminiscing would have sealed the deal. But it was a brilliant effort! 👏
FromTheAshes thumbnail
Posted: 9 years ago
#35

Originally posted by: asmaanixx


Plot wise, I really liked this. The content was really different and gave a very somber, melancholic feeling to it. Take more risks like this and write about stories that are not the norm. If you follow what others are writing, then you won't grow as a creative/imaginative writer. No one will bother to read your story if they can get it from someone else.

The style definitely could have had more impact, but again, that was dependent on the editing of the story.

Shorter sentences, a bit more reminiscing would have sealed the deal. But it was a brilliant effort! 👏


Thank you soo much gurleen,I know the style would have been much better and I could have edited it a but I am glad that the Plot sounded good to you,this was indeed a risk taken,and I am glad that all of you liked it😳

I will try and improve next time😳
FromTheAshes thumbnail
Posted: 9 years ago
#36

Originally posted by: ZawraMalik

OMG M sory as m super late

but this was just awesome..
Its kinda deficult to imagine twinj here but
You nailed it m speechles dont have words to express my feelings right knw..amazing
Keep writing


Thank you my love zawra di🤗

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