OS:: HOLDING ON TO HOPE

I know now everything is back to normal in show and I have written this. I myself don't know how I ended up writing this. Anyways hope you will like this though I'm quite unsure about this random piece.

"Zindagi Ka Pyaar Kon Bhulata Hai . .

Ye Pehli Bar Hota Hai Jab Koi Kisi Ko Khud Se Badhkar Chahta Hai. . . .

Uski Pasand, Uski Khwaish Me Khud Ko Bhul Jata Hai. .

Akele Mai Uska Naam Likh Likh Kar Mitata Hai. . . .

Baat Karne Se Pehle Sochta Hai, Kya Kehna Hai. .

Baat Hone Ke Baad Fir Kuch Kehna Reh Jata Hai. .

Hota Hai Itna Khoobsurat Woh Pyaar,

Toh Jaane Kyun Aksar Adhoora Reh Jata Hai. ."

- Unknown(Credit goes to Internet)

This OS is random take on memory loss and mostly from Sanskar's point of view. After Swara returns back to baadi and have forgotten some part of her life and do not recognise Sanskar, she is scared of him, stays away from him.

=============================================

HOLDING ON TO HOPE

It is truly said that love is the most beautiful feeling in the world; it is a blessing to be purely loved by someone and loving the person with same passion. On one side when it is blessing on the other hand loving someone can be curse when those feelings are not reciprocated. The person you love most refuses to acknowledge your love. Refuses to be linked with your name and love, flinches away at your voice. Behaves as if you do not exist and slowly starts drifting away from you...Leaving you all shattered and broken. Turn down your every attempt of settling things. Turn deaf to your pleadings. Can one survive this pain? Can anyone live after knowing your other half, the very same person who have vowed to be with you till eternity forgot your relationship, forgot time you spent together...forgot YOU?

How does that feels? It feels like you died thousand deaths when your love of life questions "Who are you?"

How cruel fate decides to play with you, thought Sansakar Maheshwari to himself. Today he is at same point where he was 5 years before. At that time God snatch away his first love. He was broken, enraged at that time. In his hurt he did what he thought was best to take revenge. He played his game but destiny had its own planned for him, destiny tied him to the soul who was sent for him on the earth.

Swara...HIS Swara! The one whom in past he was all set to destroy for his own benefits, he had almost destroyed her but her tears made him back off. She affected him in such way that the one that used to think himself as heartless was heads over heels in love with the same lady whom he used as pawn once. He still now was unable to realize why he loves her so much and now he curse himself for asking what he did to deserve such an innocent angel in his life when they were together before she lost memory of their life together. At that time sometimes deep down his heart use to feel it to be one beautiful dream and now irony is that life made it dream which was reality once.

He drifted in past when he thought he lost her.

Flashback

Sanskar felt her hand slipping from his hold, that cunning devil held her feet in firm grip while Swara hang in air with her one hand on branch and other in his grasp. He knew she can't hold for longer, not with the filthy man pulling her downwards. Sanskar saw for a moment her gaze went below, river was roaring in full speed. Few months back situation was same but the only difference was with height. At that time she survived somehow but now it was next to impossible to make it. His heart pained looking at Swara as she moved her head upwards and their eyes locked as usual, He could see fear, pain in her those soulful eyes and he knew she saw the horror in his.

"Swara...hold it tighter" Sanskar pleaded desperately trying to pull her upwards. His own heart was in his mouth seeing his life in danger but he wouldn't give up just like that. He would fight, fight till he succeeds.

"Swara just try little harder...I know you will do it'" Sanskar's breathless voice rang in his own ears. He was trying to pull her with all strength, but he was not God or superman to pull two persons by all alone himself and definitely not when her hand was slipping away from his.

"Sanskar...Remember this I love you and you won't blame yourself for this" Swara cut him off as she needed to say this to him before everything ends her hand was about to slip away, "I LOVE YOU Sanskar!" she confessed giving him that helpless smile and closed her eyes as she felt herself falling down of the cliff as her hand slipped out of his hold.

"SWARA" blood curling scream left Sanskar's mouth as he saw her going away from him.

Sanskar cried trying to hold her, and he jumped. He can't just watch her die, without Swara, there was no Sanskar. If she leaves this world then he will follow her.

Flashback ends

Without his knowledge tears rolled down his close eyelids. That moment was one of the ugliest one of his life. Nothing can erase it from his soul. It left deep scar on his soul. Sanskar opened his eyes as he felt comforting hand on shoulder. He knew who it was, turning around he just hugged the person crying bitterly in her arms. All the bottled up pain, hurt, fear, horror every emotion he had hidden within himself from past two weeks he just let it out at that moment without holding back.

"Why us?"

"Why?"

He just asks this to her through clogged throat as the pain became unbearable to him. He was hurt by his love. Though he knew she was not at fault but still...seeing her behaving this way with him something broke within him. Those eyes in which he used to see his reflection, her love for him, now shows hollowness. Those soulful love filled eyes now looks at him in fear and confusion.

His sobs pierced her heart. Seeing him this way, so broken, so vulnerable her inside clenched with helplessness. She stood silent holding him caressing his back to provide some comfort as she very well knew that no words can take away his pain and somewhere this closer is needed for his own sanity.

He wept till his eyes had no more tears to shed and his heart felt lighter.

"Mai janta hu tum galat raaste pe chal rahi ho par mai tumhe nahi rokunga... kyunki, tum nahi rukne waali. Iss liye chalti jao... aur jab girogi, tab hamesha ki tarah main milunga tumhe sambhalne ke liye"(I know you are walking on wrong path but I won't stop you because I know you won't stop. So go on, keep walking and when you will stumble and will be falling, like always you will find me to hold you.)

Sanskar stepped out of her embrace and looked in her eyes surprisingly. It was his words directed towards Swara when she doubted him. But how her Maa knows this? He waited for Sharmishta Gaddodiya to continue. Like him she too was broken seeing her daughter in such condition still she stood strong for everyone. She stood by his side, supported him when her daughter refused to listen anything. Leaving her daughter inside after giving her medicine with her sister and dadi she came to him. She came to see him, talk to him. Over the period they too came closer as she found son in the form of Sanskar. More than husband of her daughter she sees him as her son because he gave her that respect, love and affection. He has earned that place in her life. Mother knows pain of her child without the child voicing it out. Here she with her own eyes has witnessed agony of her son then how could she see it and let him suffer more than he already was.

"Yahi kaha tha na tumne Swara se jab usne saboto pe bharosa karke tumse sawal kiya tha...tumpar shak kiya tha?" (You have said this to Swara when trusting the proofs she questioned you...she doubted you?) Sharmishta asked seeing surprise in his eyes. On getting positive nod she continued slowly.

"Toh Sanskar tum iss tarah se kaise kamjor pad sakte ho? Hum sab jante hai Swara ko... Ek bar agar usne kuch tay kar liya to jab tak wo khud hoke sacchai ka pata na laga le wo kisi par bhi yakeen nahi karti aur na hi chain se baithti hai... Mai manti hu dard hota hai, par beta tum ye toh socho ke bhale hi aaj use tumhara pyaar yaad nahi par iska matlab ye toh nahi ki wo hai hi nahi... Tum logo ka pyaar hi hai jo aaj Swara hamare paas hai... saath hai."

(Then how could you fall so weak Sanskar? We all know how Swara is. If she decides something then she won't listen to anyone till she reach to its root and nor she sits back till it's done. I agree that it hurts, but Son think that may today she doesn't recognise love of you two but that doesn't mean it's not there. It is and that's the reason we have Swara here, with us.)

Sharmishta asked him wiping her own tears. She knew her daughter very well and she have known the man standing infront of her and their love too. Sanskar's mind grasped her words.

"Aur wohi pyaar hame hamari purani Swara de sakta hai jisse apne Sanskar se beintehaa mohabbat hai, khud se bhadkar yakeen hai. ...Jo sirf aur sirf apne Sanskar ki Swara hai"

(That love is the only thing that can return us our old Swara. That Swara who unconditionally love her Sanskar, trust him more than her own self, Swara, the one who belongs to her Sanskar only. )

Sharmishta's words strengthen his hope, a hope to have his old Swara back, who senses his presence, who knows his touch, who is not scared of him, who trusts him and love him.

"Swara ko tumhari jarurat hai Sanskar. Aaj nahi toh kal Swara ko ehsas ho jayega ki kuch toh hai jo adhura hai... Kyoki wo adhuri hai tumhare bina... Toh tumhe use uske jindagi ka bhula hua waqt yaad dilana hai... Use yaad dilana hai ki tum kon ho... Wo tumhe ajnabi manti hai na? Toh yeh tumhari jimmedari hai ki ye ajnabi uske liye ajnabi na rahe... Yaado ke maayne kya hote hai ye mujhse badhkar koi nahi jaanta... Aaj wo un yaado ko bhul gayi hai to tum nayi yaade banao jinme un purani yaado ki jhalak ho."

(Swara needs you Sanskar. In sometime she will feel that something is incomplete because she is incomplete without you. You have to remind her part she forgot. Remind her who you are. She considers you as stranger na? Now it's your responsibility that this stranger no longer remains stranger to her. No one better than me can understand what importance memories hold in life. Today she may not remember those memories then make new ones with her reflecting your old ones in them.) Sharmishta said keeping her hand on his shoulder.

Sanskar looked in her assuring eyes, they gave him courage. Sharmishta left after asking him to go to home and return back tomorrow after deciding his course of action to win his Swara back, to make her fall in his love again.

Sanskar needed this assurance. He was broken by knowing she does not remember him and in that vulnerable condition it was necessary that someone shows him path. It was not that he didn't know what to do, after all how could Sanskar Maheshwari who knows how to tackle challenges in best way when they are thrown at worst situations. He very well was capable of winning her back with his love but he needed someone to understand him, understand his plight. He needed someone to assure him that yes everything will be alright. He knew Swara needed time to adjust with the impact that incident left. She needed time to trust him again and he was ready to give her all time in the world in hope that everything will be fine. Deep down her heart knew him, love him it's her mind that needed time to trust him again perhaps God has given him chance to write their lovestory again.

Sanskar raised his head looking up towards sky which earlier was clouded hiding moon and his light to reach on earth plunging everything in darkness. But now slowly it was getting clearer and earth was basking in its light providing peace just in the same way Sanskar's mind was getting clearer giving him little peace. He knew what he has to do. He will let her rediscover way into her life back, let her put the shattered pieces together coz she knows where all the pieces have been shattered to in the first place, all she needs is help, guidance and support. He will be there for her, beside her and with her.

"Mrs. Swara Maheshwari be ready to fall for your husband again and get back into his life...This is the time to write our story again" Promising this to himself Sanskar went from Baadi to return back tomorrow with new hopes.

"Dekho Abhi Khona Nahi...

Kabhi Juda hona Nahi...

Ab Ke Yuhi...

Mile Rahenge Dono...

Waada Raha Ye Iss Sham Ka..."

"Never give up...Never lose hope...

Always have faith...It allows you to cope...

Trying times will pass...As they always do...

Just have patience...Your dreams will come true...

So put on a smile...You'll live through your pain...

Know it will pass, and strength you will gain..."

(www.quoteslike.com)

==========================================

"Independent rediscovering of a way into life, helps a lot, for its only you who can help yourself to put the shattered pieces together, and for its only you who knew where all the pieces have been shattered to in the first place.-Unknown"

Shyari used at the start is not mine, it's taken from internet.

Please let me know your thoughts if you are taking your time to read this.😊