Finale.
Let the be no secrets!
"Swara please! Listen to me! I am really sorry." He begged her standing outside the door she has closed upon him.
"Please Sanskaar! Go away! I am not angry with you. Just hurt. I want to stay alone for some time."She wiped the tears of hurt and pain from her eyes. And then sat on the bed and clutched the cushion close to her and hugged it tight willing herself to not break down and cry the way her heart is asking her too.
This probably is the first time he didn't even give her benefit of doubt. The occasions he turned his back on her are rare. And extremely hurtful and agonizing. But there was always some genuine reason for him acting the way he did at those times. But this time he wouldn't even listen to her. He didn't even question her. He simply assumed that she would lose something as priceless as a gift gifted to her by him. The bangles. Let alone the bangles she wouldn't even let go of the roses that he gave her with love. Because HE gave it to her. But circumstances were such that she had to give up on those bangles. It killed her to part away with them. Maybe she should have immediately told him about the incident but it hurts that he could think that she would value his gift so less.
"Swara! I am really sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. And I am really sorry that you got hurt." He remembered the accidental physical hurt he dealt to her and clutched his offending fist with suppressed rage and regret.
She knew which hurts he was talking about. She knows he will NEVER raise his hands on her. He would rather kill himself.
"I know Sanskaar you will never hurt me. That was an accident. But you did hurt me. Why wouldn't you even listen to me? Didn't we decide that we should always talk and listen to each other no matter what the circumstances? I am used to making mistakes. That's me. But YOU? Since when did you start backing off your own words?" She clutched the cushion tighter digging her nails inside the fabric.
He took a deep breath.
"Swara! Let me in! Please! Don't shut me out. I can't take that."
"And I can't take that you will shut me down Sanskaar. You KNOW I could never handle YOU not talking to me. Not Listening to me. Or not understanding me. Even if the entire world would do that to me I won't care. But YOU? It hurts Sanskaar."
A soft sob escaped her mouth and that broke his restraint. He took a ragged breath in. Been a long time he indulged in physical violence. But desperate circumstances calls for desperate measures.
He bunched his fist and smashed the glass pane of the door. It shattered at the impact. And the glass shards brutally split opened the flesh on his palm and the blood splattered around.
"Sanskaar!" Swara covered her mouth in horror and fear unable to comprehend his dark outburst. Been a long time she has seen the reflection of the dark force that he was once upon a time. She almost forgot he is still the same Sanskaar; who stops at nothing when he wants something.
She ran towards the door and opened it with a jerk and almost pulled him inside. She grabbed his hurt and bleeding palm and winced.
He is hurt. And he is bleeding. And he also a mutt-head.
She glared at him with love, hurt and fear mixed rage.
"Sanskaar? Are you crazy? What have you done? How could you? How dare you hurt yourself?"
He gave her a gentle smile.
"Atleast you opened the door! And now are talking to me. So I say I did good. Besides I believe I've hurt you with this hand right. Serves it right."
"SHUT UP!" She hissed at him. How could you love someone so much that you feel you could die for them a thousand times gladly and then sometimes feel like murdering that very someone for doing something stupid? She shot sparks at him through her eyes.
He felt like grinning at her righteous rage and since he could read her like a book he found her current murderous thoughts for him quite amusing. But he stopped himself from doing something as dangerous as laughing at Swara Maheshwari when she is in mood to murder Sanskaar Maheshwari.
She dragged him towards the bed and almost pushed him to make him sit on it.
She stomped off and brought first aid box and took cotton and applied spirit on it. And grabbed his hurt palm again. He braced himself thinking that she is going to plonk the fiery spirit on the cut taking into consideration her dark mood and the sting will definitely hurt. Swara almost did what he was expecting her to do but at the last minute she held herself back. She gently applied the spirit on his wound and cleaned it; gently blowing cool air on the hurt. And all the while she tried to stem the flow of tears from her eyes.
Idiot! Moron! Crazy fool!
She suddenly smacked his arm.
"Oww!" He protested.
"How DARE you hurt my Sanskaar!" She flapped her palms and started hitting him all over.
"Ouch! Swara! I am sorry." He tried to deflect her attack in vain. Then he used the only trick he knows that would calm her down. Atleast momentarily.
"Oww! Swara torturing and attacking an already injured man is cruel you know!"
She immediately felt contrite and terribly guilty. She held his injured hand again gently and started tending to it.
He watched her bent head, gentle fingers working upon his wound with such love and care and concern and felt terribly guilty all over again.
He has hurt this girl.
"I am really sorry Swara!" He whispered in a heartfelt way.
She looked up and found herself staring at his deep intense eyes reflecting sincere guilt, hurt and pain for hurting her.
And she had to ask.
"Why?"
Hu! He looked confused for a moment. Then spoke.
"I am sorry for hurting you Swara."
She kept the first aid box aside and shook her head.
"No Sanskaar! That was not my question. I want to know why? Why did you react the way you did? Accusing me without asking me the questions or waiting for my answers. You never do that. Whenever you got hurt with my words or gestures you have let me know what is hurting you. And then you used to shut me down. You never walked out on me without telling me why you are walking out. This is first time I felt like you had enough of something and are snapping because you feel like snapping. And I have no clue as to what have I done to make you feel like this at me."
He looked at her with his deep unfathomable eyes and then gave a self deprecating smile.
"It's nothing Swara. I am thinking a little too much nowadays. Hence was acting out of character. Don't worry about me. You take rest. Been long hard days for you for quite some time." He got up to take his leave when Swara grabbed his wrist.
He bent his head down and looked at her questioningly. She gently made him sit with her on the bed again.
"Been a long time we talked Sanskaar. ACTUALLY talked. The way we always did since .." She paused and smiled. "Since the day you bullied, blackmailed, urged and cheered me on in the hospital to go and reclaim my life back when I was lying there injured and broken and betrayed. Actually we talk' since the day you saved my life from Mohini and allowed me to see the real you and heard me and heeded my words. That's what we do Sanskaar. We TALK. So tell me! What you are not telling me."
He took a deep breath. She is right. That's what they always do. They talk and they listen. And when they did not do that they always ended up hurting each other and hurting themselves.
He started talking.
"I tried to talk to you Swara. But you wouldn't understand what I was trying to tell you." He said that in a small boy's voice.
She took utterly confused.
"I don't understand Sanskaar."
He gave a sad little smile.
"I miss my Swara. The one who took on the whole world and took on me too to win me. The one fought with me for me. The one who wouldn't let go of me even when I told her to get out my life. The one who looked as if she has lost the will to live when Kavita come back in my life. The one who feared losing me during the Maasi's machinations and fought with everything that she has got because she didn't want to lose me. The one who fought without backing down and looked at Kavita as if she would kill that girl on spot for daring to take away her rightful place as his bride in his life and finally kicked that girl out of our lives. I miss that Swara who loved me so madly, deeply and passionately."
Swara looked stunned. If she was expecting anything that wasn't this. She felt lost for words for a long time.
"But I love you Sanskaar. You know that!"
He evaded her eyes.
"I know Swara. But I have seen the extent to which you could love me. And now I don't want to settle for anything less."
"I don't understand."
He looked at her and spoke.
"Swara! I want that Swara back who would want to tear down any other girl for so much as looking at me. The Swara who would feel lost and lifeless if I am not around her. The Swara who would share any and everything with me first. The Swara who would fight the whole wide world and even me.. just to be with me."
And finally she understood.
"I took for granted again didn't I Sanskaar?"
He shook his head vehemently.
"That's you right Swara. I would hate it if you give away that right to anyone else. I may crib or complain unjustly but the thing is.. I love the fact that I am your number one man when you need anything."
She cupped his face.
"You ARE the number one person in my life Sanskaar. I guess I haven't expressed it enough or well for past few days.. but without you I am nothing. YOU are my beginning and ending. And everything in between."
He turned his head and gently kissed her palm. Then he cupped her face with his own palms.
"I KNOW Swara. And I love you back the same way. I LOVE you. And I wouldn't change a hair on your head. But between dealing with 1001 problems that keep piling in our way, tackling the likes of Tanya and so on and helping and being with the family,. How about creating a little world of our own? Just you and I. I was not upset for the bangles per se Swara. Come'on YOU are the most precious thing in my life. I was upset that I am no longer your number one man. You don't seem to want me, need me or be with me the way I need you, want you and be with you."
Swara suddenly felt teary eyed. She had NO idea he was going through so much of inner turmoil. How could she not SEE?
Then she had to tell him the truth.
"I was afraid Sanskaar."
Now it was his turn to feel bewildered.
"Afraid of what Swara?"
"Afraid of my feelings for you." She spoke so softly that he had to strain to hear her. "It took me forever to believe in love again after getting betrayed by those I loved. Ragini, Dadi, Baba and Laksh; though in hind sight I never actually fell in love with Laksh but at that time I thought I did. Then you came in my life. And turned it upside down."
"I am sor.." He was about to apologize for his past wrongdoings on her but she cut in.
"By just being you. By being my friend, my confidante, my pillar of support, my comrade in arms. And I had no idea when I allowed you to seep into my psyche."
He allowed her to speak without interrupting. Finally she is letting out her feelings from the beginnings. And he would love to hear about her journey. That of falling in love with him.
"Then you confessed your love for me in what probably will constitute one of the most beautiful confessions of love."
He felt stunned.
"I thought I embarrassed and hurt you with that stunt of mine."
She smiled.
"Stunned, overwhelmed and knocked me out of the loop more like it. You scared me Sanskaar. Not with your feelings for me but what you made me feel that day. The purity, the intensity and the selfless unconditional love that you declared for me in front of every damn one.. I reacted the only way I could to stop myself from analyzing what I would start feeling for you if I allowed myself too: I went on the defensive. But you wouldn't back off. If anything you made it much harder for me. You still stood by me with the same selfless, intense, unconditional love without asking or expecting anything of me."
He smiled back.
"Well I couldn't help loving you the way I did."
"And that's why I couldn't help falling in love with you. It took your breaking off your friendship with me and walking out my life to make me see what I trying very hard not to see. That I will cease to exist without you in my life."
He felt overwhelmed at her simple and absolutely truthful declaration.
"And now I am scared of the unknown. It took me forever you allow you inside me heart and you took away the very heart and my soul too in the bargain. I am terrified what would you do to me if I took this final step of the journey. You scare me with the way you make me feel about you Sanskaar."
And at that moment he understood. He felt his heart close to bursting with sheer happiness and pride. She was not running away from him. She is trying to run from her own self. Or else he will take away that self too. And she will allow him
She loves him THAT much. The way he loves her.
He brought his face close to hers cupping her face and placed his forehead against her and breathed her in. And smiled. A smile of pure bliss, pride and knowledge.
Then he leaned back and gave her a wicked smile with glint in his eyes.
"I WILL take you away from yourself Swara."
"I know!" Swara concurred the truth.
Then he gave her a beautiful gentle smile.
"But I will leave my own self with you."
She jerked her head and looked at him wide eyed.
What did he just say?
"And I will wait for you as long as you want. Take your time Swara. I will wait for you forever if that what it takes. As long as you love me. As long as you love me the way I love you. As long as I am the ONLY ONE for you. I'll wait for you." He bent his head and gently kissed her forehead.
And walked out of the room leaving her with her myriad swirling overwhelming thoughts.
[Part II]
Let there be no fears!
"I WILL take you away from yourself Swara. But I will leave my own self with you."
It really is that simple. Trust Swara Sanskaar Maheshwari to complicate life. She really should learn from her husband and soulmate. A certain Mr. Sanskaar Maheshwari; the one always keeps it simple.
How could she not understand this simple beautiful truth?
When she let him in her heart he took away her heart and soul. But he left his own heart and his own soul in her. So why the hell was she so afraid of the further journey?
Swara looked at her reflection in the mirror the girl she saw in that mirror looked so different. Beautiful! Ethereal! As if finally the last shadows of the doubts left her psyche and now there is only light is left behind in her. And love!
So Sanskaar and Swara were right after all. All they had to do is TALK to each other. And there is nothing in the world that they won't be able to take on.
Why did it take her so long? Why did she put herself and above all her Sanskaar through so much of turmoil, self doubt, hesitancy and uncertainty.
She LOVES him and he LOVES her back the same way. Even more maybe. It tore her from inside when she saw him with Kavita even for a moment. And he lived so many months loving her unconditionally knowing that she was still reeling under Laksh's betrayal and losing her first love. Though now she knows that her first, true and forever love is Sanskaar. But at that time she thought that is Laksh. So did Sanskaar. Yet he loved her the way he did. Without expecting anything of her. Just loving and giving.
How could she stop herself from submitting herself, losing herself, giving away herself totally, completely, absolutely and unconditionally? She thought she would lose herself and never find herself back. How could she not see that she will WIN him and have him with her, in her forever?
"And I will wait for you as long as you want. Take your time Swara. I will wait for you forever if that what it takes. As long as you love me. As long as you love me the way I love you. As long as I am the ONLY ONE for you. I'll wait for you."
That was so beautiful. And perfect. And pure!
She looked at her reflection again and shook her head at herself.
Swara Sanskaar Maheshwari! You are an idiot!
Then she felt a big knowing smile breaking all over herself.
But! You are also pretty smart. You know what to do now! Do it!
She squared her shoulders.
"How did the quote go: Courage is not the absence of fear but rather the judgement that something is more important than fear. You fell in love with him despite your fear because HE was more important than any fear, hope or dream. So what's stopping you from taking the last leap of faith?"
She smile with a grim determination and with a glint of challenge in her eyes she declared.
"Nothing!"
[Part III]
Let there be no discussions!
Easier said than done. How is she to go about it?
She started pacing the room with furious energy.
Think! Think! Think Swara! How and which step you are to take next?
Come'on she has read so many mills and boons, watched romantic movies, even sneaked into adult movie theater with her rebel friends and now she is fretting over how to take it further with her own husband?
Should she try google? And what is she supposed to search for? How to seduce your husband! Errrmm! Is seduce the right word?
Or maybe she should just talk' with Sanskaar. The perfect solution to every problem in their lives. Talking with each other. But what is she going to say to him?
Sanskaar! I am ready to take our relationship to the next level. Let's make out!
EEKKKSS!
Those cheesy romantic magazines and books or Google or simply talk with Sanskaar?
She paced some more and then slumped on the bed and sat cross legged on the edge and clutched her face.
She has no frigging clue!
She looked around and her gaze got struck on Sanskaar's smiling picture on the dressing table.
She glared at the picture and got irrational urge to lash at him.
Love situation.. Swara! I don't expect anything of you.
Laksh situation.. Swara! You know best what to do.
Their marriage .. Swara I won't force you. Your decision.
Divorce situation.. Swara! I'll respect your wishes and decision.
And now this..
I'll wait for you as long as you wish.
Why does he always leave such life changing decisions on her to decide? For once why can't he decide for her?
She pouted and admittedly grudgingly.
That's because he is Sanskaar. And you love him, respect him and cherish him for that.
That brings her back to square one.
What is she going to do now?
And then Sanskaar walked into the room. He smiled at her and she automatically found herself smiling beautifully at him.
He reached for the cushions and she felt confused.
"Sanskaar what..."
He cut in with a gentle shrug.
"Considering the situation I think I should take the couch again."
"But.." She was about to protest when he cut in again gently.
"Swara! It is better this way. You'll be comfortable and I (He shook his head ruefully. He is not going to tell her that sleeping next to her and not touching her the way he wants is a sweet torture he doesn't think he could handle much longer). Never mind. I am sleeping on the couch. Please don't feel guilty or anything. Take the bed Swara. I really won't mind sleeping here!"
He walked towards the couch, adjusted his cushions and tried to fit in his lanky frame on the tiny size sofa and tried sleeping. Man! The couch is damn uncomfortable. He really should place an order for a bigger one. After all he did promise her that he will wait for her even it takes forever. That doesn't mean he should be sleeping on this stupid Goldilocks couch till that time frame. Yup! He needs a bigger couch.
He fidgeted some more and then somehow managed to go to sleep. Today has been a long day in more ways than one.
Swara watched the entire scene wide eyed lost for words. Then she felt a tender smile breaking all over her face.
Well! That's Sanskaar for you! He will never fail to overwhelm her with his words and gestures.
So what is she going to do now?
She watched him sleeping in that ridiculous sofa in awkward angle fitting his tall frame in and failing to find the fit; yet sleeping like an innocent child. That's how he has been sleeping since she walked into his life and turned it upside down. Taking over his room, his bed, his life. And at that moment she got the epiphany.
She knows what is she going to do now.
Swara smiled a big happy smile with impish glint in her eyes.
She is going to re-trace their journey and live it one more time. And this time make it to the perfect destination.
So what the milestones of their this journey of a life time.. that of friendship, love and togetherness?
She chewed on her bottom lip thoughtfully. And then smiled again.
She knows!
Swara Sanskaar Maheshwari! You are crazy! Would you like to discuss this further?
She shook her head in negation.
Time for discussions and doubts is over. Now is the talk to go forth!
Awesome then! You know your journey. You want to reach your destination.
So Swara Sanskaar Maheshwari.. Go forth! God Speed!
She laid on her bed looking at the ceiling and reminisced with a beautiful whimsical smile on her face.
This has been a perfect journey. With a perfect companion. Journey of lifetime with a companion and soulmate for all the lifetimes.
Her Sanskaar.
She checked the time and her smile went a mile wide.
NOW! Let's walk this journey one more time. With her Sanskaar.
[Part IV]
Let there be no Distances!
She got up and got down from the bed with gentle grace like a feline creature.
Let's not wake him up before the time.
Now!
She ran towards him and deliberately tripped again.
He woke up with a sudden start at the impact of a soft fur ball hitting him with full force.
What?
He looked at the fur ball. She laughed merrily. His eyes went wide.
This is Swara. She is laughing.
And she is lying on top of him.
What again?
He felt and looked terrified. Hasn't something like this happened before? He was knocked out his loop then. And he is knocked; make it kicked way out of his loop now.
"Swara!" He spoke hesitatingly. "Tum Mere Upar Ho!"
Swara's heart brimmed with mirth.
There he said it again. Her innocent Sanskaari Sanskaar!
Humm! But this time she didn't try to get up. She stretched herself and made herself comfortable. On him.
Hu! He was getting more terrified by the minute.
Swara! What are you upto? He mused in silence.
Sanskaar! I solemnly swear I am upto no good! She answered him in silence.
Then she started having misgivings. This is going a tad too fast. The way his body is touching every inch of hers is making her feel the way she has never felt before. And she is finding it tad too dangerous and delightful. She still has lot more of the journey to cover. This is just first step.
And he thought sleeping next to her without touching was sweet torture. Now he knows the meaning of real saccharine sweet and dangerous torture.
The way her body is touching every inch of his is making him feel the way he has never felt before.
He tried to claw his way back to reality.
And tried again.
"Swara! Tum ab bhi mere upar ho!"
And this time she got up. Or tried to and collapsed on him again. But not deliberately. Looks like even fate, chance, coincidence and destiny joined her in playing this dangerous yet delightfully wicked game of love.
"Let me!" He grabbed her arms and helped her sit on the couch next to him.
"Are you alright?" He looked at her warily.
No!
"Yes!" She smiled brightly at him.
"Then.." He looked at her feeling little confused.
And she smacked her forehead mentally.
Damn it! She forgot to make an excuse as to why she woke up him at this hour at night? Swara! This is not how you play.
"Errr! I wanted to tell you something." She smiled a tad to brightly covering up her fluster.
"And.." He waited for to continue.
"Oh! I forgot what I wanted to tell you!" She trailed off lamely.
"Okay!" He drawled. Was it his imagination or his usually crazy wife is being extra crazy today?
What was the next stage? Yes chocolate! "Want to eat some chocolate?" She got up and bounded towards the cupboard. "I think whatever I wanted to tell you was something good."
Yup! Extra crazy! He nodded his head and got up and walked towards her.
"Here!" She handed him a piece. The chocolate was soft and melting. Looks like that one was supposed to be kept in fridge.
He gingerly took the almost molten chocolate and ate it.
She ate a bite herself. Then looked at him.
"Hey! You have got chocolate there!"
A little speck of dark chocolate was flecked on the edge his lips.
"What?" He looked at her.
"Let me!" Looks like all chips are falling in her favour. What should you do when luck favours you?
You cash your luck!
She took a deep breath. Now is not the time to pull back punches Swara Maheshwari.
She reached him and gently brought her face next to his.
And before he could react or realize what is happening she glided her tongue gently over the corner of his lips. Then lingered a little more.
He felt shot of shivers shooting through him.
What the hell is happening?
She leaned back and smiled at him.
"Now its ok!"
Ok for whom? He shook his head. Before his wife goes more crazy he must go back to sleep. This must be a dream. Or hallucination. A wonderful dream and hallucination.
"Err! Thank you! Good night then!" With alacrity he almost jumped back on his couch and closed his eyes.
Swara resisted urge to grin.
Well! That went well.
******************************
"Where is everyone? He looked around.
"Everybody left for the kuldevi pooja at our ancestral villa. You forgot? They will come back tomorrow"
He smacked his forehead lightly.
"Oh yes! Slipped out of my mind." Everybody left. Let alone taking him with them but also without informing him? And Swara is left behind too?
"I told them that after yesterday I want some time alone." She answered his unasked question. "They graciously agreed."
Ok! That explains Swara being left behind. But what about him? No one asked him. He wouldn't have gone without Swara but..
"They thought you would want to stay back too." She answered him again.
Luck, destiny and Fate.. don't I love you. She mentally sent a short note of prayer.
"Oh!" He smiled at her.
"Want to have tea?" She asked him.
"Sure!"
"Great! Let's go then." She started walking out of the house.
What? He followed her in bewilderment and stopped dead in his tracks.
Right in the lawn at its original place was in all its old nostalgic magical glory was pitched their tent.
He looked at Swara in askance.
"Surprise!" She smiled broadly at him. "You like it?"
Like it? He LOVE it. There are lot many times he wished they would go back to their old days of glory. Just Swara and Sanskaar and their little home. Tent actually. But home nonetheless.
And now she made it happen. For him.
"Shall we?" She smiled at him feeling touched and happy seeing his expressions of happiness.
"Lead on!" He smiled broadly and together they stepped back in their own magical home.
"Oh! Chulha!" He pointed at the thing.
And she had to laugh.
"Stove Sanskaar stove."
He smiled sheepishly remembering the day when he tried to show his proficiency' in dealing with the chulha and ending up putting out the fire of the stove.
She smiled tenderly remembering that beautiful day of the past.
"Ok! I'll make the tea.."
"And I'll wash the cups." He completed her sentence. "Deal!"
"Deal!"
And that's how they spent their whole day. Taking about their old days, the milestones, the memories.. the beautiful journey.
She cooked inside the tent and he helped her around. Neither of them wanting to go inside the Maheshwari mansion to have their food there. This is home. And this where they want to be. Atleast for today.
And they talked.
How they first met. When he acted crazy and she saw through him when no one could. When she fed him drug laced Kheer. (Swara looked sheepish remembering that). Their battle of wits. He told her that HE was the one who was challenging her in his heart that..
"Main tumhe nahi chodunga Swara."
And she whirled around hearing those unspoken words of him.
Swara felt stunned for a moment.
"YOU! You were the one. I felt someone calling me. So it was you afterall. I should have guessed. We do seem to have this cosmic connection between us from day one."
He gave a beautiful smile and concurred.
Then they talked about Laksh, Ragini and the entire sordid saga. Sanskaar went sombre and serious remembering those dark days when he wronged Swara in such a terrible way. Swara sensed his mood and cupped his face.
"Don't think about the wrongs any more Sanskaar. I don't think about them anymore. You know what I remember the most from those days?'
He slowly tried to let go of his dark thoughts. He smiled at her.
"What?"
"The day you lifted me in your arms in the hospital and carried me all the way despite getting hurt and ignoring your bleeding palm. You were my Knight that day. And every day since after that. Infact you have been my Knight since the day you saved me from Mohini but that hospital moment shall forever be the magical moment for me."
He felt touched and grateful.
"And you were my light the day you saved me from myself after the Mohini incident. You forgave me and helped me forgive myself. You were the ray or should I say blaze of sunshine in my dark life then.. and ever since."
They smiled and looked at each other; lost in each other for a long time.
And then they started talking again.
Their fake marriage, those glorious tent days, his handkerchiefs ("Sanskaar! I really miss your handkerchiefs" She spoke with a wistful look. He tapped her nose gently "I'll buy you an entire company dealing exclusively with hand kerchiefs provided you never have to use those things ever!) the sindhoor gesture of his, the day he confessed his love for her so beautifully in drunken state, the day she stood by him against Ragini's accusations, the day he warned her to not insult his love (Swara smiled remembering how intense he went that day and came nearly close to scaring her. She was indeed way out of line but the way he reacted was a revelation. And kind of touching. The value he puts upon his love.), getting blackmailed into marrying again, him swearing a lie in front of God for her sake, unmasking of Ragini, the divorce drama, then Swara choosing to come back to the mansion for Ragini and Sanskaar helping her all the way, the karvachaut, when he misunderstood her and Laksh's friendship and was heartbroken and revived again went she cleared the misunderstandings, the day he brought her his first gift the lehenga, the day she tied mouli on his wrist, the dark day she accused him of kidnapping Ragini and him breaking off his friendship with her for not trusting him, him dropping her off at her place without backward glance and her realization that she can't live without him for she is in love with him, her coming back to mansion and his refusing to believe her love, her confessions, the back hugs, then separation again, then Kavita, the agony and heartbreak and finally peace.
Swara rested her face on his nape and he hugged her sideways.
"Been a long journey right Sanskaar."
"And a glorious one. Barring few bits here and there I won't change a chapter of it."He kissed the top of her head. "And I would walk the same journey over and over again if YOU are walking by my side."
She lifted her head and smiled at him.
"I would love that too."
Then leaned forward and kissed him. It wasn't a plan, a game or a calculation. It was just heartfelt gratitude and love for the man who has been her perfect friend, companion and soulmate. Always!
He felt stunned for a moment when her soft lips touched his. Then unbridled emotions took over. He kissed her back.
He pulled her closer with one hand and cupped her face with other and kissed her putting his soul in that kiss. And she hugged him and held on to him tightly and kissed him back with her entire being.
When they broke the kiss both were overwhelmed. This got to be the perfect kiss in the world.
None of them spoke for a long time. They held on to each other tenderly allowing their silence to speak.
Swara slowly looked out. The sun has set and heralded a new night. This is a moment for a new beginning. She looked around. This little home; this tent has been special very special in their lives. But Sanskaar's room; now their room; too holds lot of beautiful memories. Next step of the journey should start from there. She can't leave that place out of this precious reminiscence. That room has been a part of so many exquisite memories.
"Shall we go home Sanskaar?" She looked at him and asked softly.
Sanskaar took a deep breath and looked around.
Today has been a beautiful day. SHE made it happen. For him.
He looked at her and smiled.
"Lead on Princess!"
He is not sure where she is leading him but he is ready for the ride. Anytime anywhere with her.
They walked into the house and entered their room.
"I'll freshen up!" Swara smiled at him and went away.
He took a deep breath and involuntarily went and lay on the bed, placed his head over his arms and looked into space assailed with multitude of thoughts.
What exactly is happening? He pondered deeply lost in thoughts.
Then she walked in wearing beautiful red saree; a simple and stylish saree with a thin classy golden border. She was wearing no jewellery and no makeup. She was all HER. And she looked stunning. And se**.
And he forgot than humans need to breath to survive. He stared at him wide eyed lost in her.
Swara felt a feminine proud smile in her heart at his Look'. The way he is looking at her... talk about intense. With extreme difficulty she managed to act nonchalant. She walked towards the dressing mirror and applied light gloss on her lips. A little kajal and a simple bindi and a simple makeup. She never cared for too much of jazz and she knows he loves it simple. She turned around and looked at him.
"How am I looking?"
Like a Goddess! He finally had to breathe in. Lungs were kind of screaming in protest. "Good! You are looking good. Beautiful actually!"
What exactly is happening? Well! Who the hell cares what's happening. He is loving whatever that is happening.
"Sanskaar could you help me tying the dori please?" Ok! This scene has been tried in n-number of serials and movies but hey she always found it se** so why not try it on Sanskaar. Hope he won't laugh at her lack of motor skills. Can't tie a simple dori? Actually she really can't.
What?
At that moment he realized that her blouse dori is open. He was so lost in her that he simply ignored all the irrelevant details.
He looked trapped as if she asked him to do a dangerous stunt for her.
Dori? How the hell you tie a dori? Well! Won't be different than tying a rope on the parcel boxes. He tied a lot of them himself in the factory when he was starting up his company. Yup! Same to same. A little thin maybe.
He walked towards her and reached her. She turned around and brushed her hair and tucked it in her nape.
And he forgot to breathe all over again.
Is he supposed to stare at the smooth creamy back of hers; the curves of her waist, the way the saree is hugging her.. Sanskaar SNAP out of it. He shook his head to clear her thoughts.
Oh yes! The Dori! He gently held the strings in his palm and tried trying them.
Stupid strings! Are they supposed to be this slippery? He gritted his teeth and tried again his fingers brushing over her shoulders and nape.
She shivered slightly. SHE was supposed to knock him out of the loop. Not the other way round.
He finally succeeded.
"Yes!" He felt pretty proud of his achievement and smiled broadly and then that smile got wiped of his face when she handed him a thin chain.
"Help me tie this too please!"
Ha! This looks easy. A long necklace. He can do this. He won't even have to get to close to her. He took the chain in his hand and was about to tie it round her nape.
"It is a waist chain Sanskaar." She pursed her lips trying not to smile.
Waist what? No ways. He had tough time with back as it is. How could she spring that waist on him? The waist he was trying very hard not to stare.
He took a deep breath.
He can do this! Come'on Sanskaar! That's just a waist.
She adjusted her pleats and turned around and gently jutted her hips to help him tie the piece of jewellery. He gently twisted the chain around her waist and tried to clasp the hook all the while trying very hard to ignore where the chain is nestling in. And then the hook went rogue too.
Damn It! Why the hell can't women keep it simple? Look at men. They wear belts. With big buckles. Not silly chains with stupid minuscule hooks. He tried again with his fingers grazing the curves of her waist.
She tried very hard not to shiver.
He finally managed to clasp the hook. He looked terribly pleased with his success and gazed at his handwork proudly and then immediately regretted it. His gaze was struck upon her smooth belly and that navel of hers.
He had to tear his gaze from the enchanting sight.
That's it! Hope there are no more torture equipment around. Doris and chains are enough. He muttered under his breath.
Swara took a deep breath. This is turning too intense and this is just the beginning. Come'on she can handle this. Or could she?
She smiled brightly at Sasnkaar.
"I'll get something to eat and drink." And gracefully almost glided out of the room.
For some odd reason he found himself visualizing Champagne and Strawberries.
And then she chimed.
"Tada!"
"Golgappe!" He gave a shout of laughter. Trust his wife to never fail to surprise him.
"Yup! Last time I ate away yours. So this time I've got plenty for both of us. What say?" She wriggled her eyebrows at him.
"I say let's dig in!"
Together they stared attacking the pani puris with gusto laughing, fighting and pushing each other playfully.
Then in that fight Sanskaar got pani and its puri splattered over his t-shirt.
"Oh! I am sorry Sanskaar!" She tried to wipe it.
"Hey it's ok! I would return the favour but for the fact that I would hate to ruin your saree. You are making it look beautiful" He got up and went to wash room to change.
Swara breathed in. Not: The Saree is making you beautiful but YOU are making the saree looking beautiful. Oh Sanskaar! You say the most perfect words sometimes. All the times I dare say.'
She turned her head and looked at the close bathroom door. She could hear the shower sounds.
She chewed on her lower lips.
Should she? Could she? DARE she?
She squared her shoulders.
Well! Swara Bose could be called many things but scaredy cat? That she ain't. She can do this!
He turned on the shower and removed his stained t-shirt. And was above to discard his track pants when he froze. He felt gentle palms touching his shoulders from back.
"Swara!" He whispered in shock and awe.
"Hush! Don't turn back now!" She ordered with a pleading note. She is not ready to face him yet.
He stood in his spot frozen and bewildered and completely affected.
Swara gently placed her lips on his bare shoulder with water rivulets sliding over it and kissed it. She stared placing gentle butterfly kisses all over his shoulder and then slowly gaining confidence she snaked her arms around her bare chest and hugged him from back. And then started nuzzling his nape.
He shivered.
"Swara! You really should stop if you don't want it to go any further." He almost pleaded in a ragged voice.
"I'll stop if you want me to stop." She gently bit his ear lobe.
This girl is going to be death of him.
His took a ragged breath in.
"It is not about what I want. This is about what YOU want."
"Well! I don't want to stop." Swara placed her face on his shoulders and hugged him closer from back.
He a massive shock wave passing through his body.
What did she just say?
S"wara! Can I turn around?" He asked in a polite tone.
He was still respecting her wishes where she asked him not to turn around. She was touched.
"Yes Sanskaar!"
He slowly whirled around and felt his breath struck in his heart.
Standing in the way of shower jets she is now completely drenched. As wet as him. Her red saree clinging to her frame like second skin, her skin almost glowing and her hair wet and curling thanks to shower jets. If he thought she was beautiful before now she is looking like a seductive siren. And though he knows her call will be doom of his; he can't help responding to this siren call.
"You sure Swara?" He had to ask with final thread of restraint.
"Never been more sure in my life!" Her tone brook gave him all the surety that he needed.
He with almost a super human effort controlled himself from giving in to the feral primitive instincts that he feels for this girl. He really can't scare her with the intensity of his need, want and desire and love for her.
Take it slow Sanskaar!
He moved a little closer to her, gently cupped her face and kissed her in most gentlest way possible. And she kissed him back tenderly. And when they broke off the kiss and he leaned back and looked at her he found her eyes clouding over with first tendrils of passion.
Then she looked into his eyes.
Oh boy! The way he looks' at her!
Suddenly feeling shy she whirled around. With a slight twist of smile he hugged her from behind. He entwined his fingers with her and placed her palm on the misted mirror in the shower cubicle. His other snaked inside her wet saree pleats grazing, gliding and caressing her navel. She shivered at the sensations. Shower jets were still drenching them but they were beyond caring now. He gently brushed her wet hair off her back and tucked it on her nape. And then started nuzzling her wet shoulders and continued his journey till her nape. She rolled her head to side to give him assess and he nuzzled her nape and gently caressed her ear lobe with his lips. She closed her eyes and gave in to the sensations. He nibbled and nuzzled and teased her with his lips and tongue basking in the same sensations as hers till she couldn't handle it anymore. She whirled around and slammed onto him and hugged him tight. He hugged her back with the same fervour.
They must take it to the final destination right now. Or they won't be termed mortals.
He looked around.
The floor is wet, slippery and hard. He wants to possess her like she has never been taken before. He wants to hear his name over her lips over and over again. He wants to imprint himself on her so patently that she will feel HIM before she feels herself.
But this is not the time. And this is not the place. The first time when he going to make her his; he wants it to be so enchanting that no mortal or immortal will take that memory away from her.
Him away from her.
He took a deep breath and restrained himself again. And then with a sudden swoop swept her in his arms and took her to the bedroom. Their room.
He placed her down on her feet so gently as if she is the most precious this in the world. Well she is! For him!
He gently caressed his thumb across her lips. She parted them slightly and stared at those beautiful deep eyes of her man. He slowly inched his head towards her and said in that deep voice of his.
"Final chance Swara. If you want me stop; tell me now! Or I won't be able to stop."
"I don't want you to stop. I would never want you to stop" She breathed softly.
As if that was the cue he was waiting for he captured her lips in his.
Very delicately he nuzzled her lips and she parted them at his invitation.
He gently brushed the tip of his tongue across those delicate insides of her lips. Then caressed them again with his own lips.
Slowly, languidly with torturous sweetness.
She had enough. He has been torturing her with his restrained passion. Enough is enough now. She wants him now. And she wants it all.
She pressed her entire body; her entire being on his own and owned his lips. Almost hurting him deliciously with saccharine sweetness of her own. He growled softly and responded with all the pent up passion that he was capable of. He angled his head slightly and deepened the kiss; grabbing those luxurious wet tresses of hers in almost painful hold.
She snaked her hand over his shoulders and grasped his short silky hair and pulled him further close. And kissed him back the way he is kissing her.
They kissed before. But this kiss was on different plane altogether. He kissed her as if he would forge his entire being on her soul. And she responded with equal fervor. They kissed as if they would cease to exist without doing so. They kissed as if it is the only and the most beautiful thing in the world for them right now.
And then passion completely, totally and with absolute fierceness took over them. They discarded their wet clothes with shivering hands and complete disregard. Swara was struck by a fleeting thought. May be she should feel shy or abashed. She is without a stitch in before him. But the way his eyes gazed all over her made her feel.. Exquisite.
And the way she looked at him made him feel like an Alpha male.
And when they lay on the bed with him claiming her and she imprinting herself upon him they weren't making love. They were worshiping each other with their bodies and their souls. Revering each other. And being that one soul and two bodies that they were always meant to be.
And when she shattered in his arms and took his name at the last throngs of the love.. he felt as if he is the king and Emperor of the world.
SHE is HIS.
And when he exploded inside her and hugged her fiercely and whispered over and over again that he loves her.. she felt blissfully happy and content. The way she has never been in her entire life.
He is HERS.
That's that how it was, is and always meant to be.
Swara and Sanskaar.
The two halves of one soul.
The souls connected to each other with a call as old as time. That of Cosmos. That of destiny.
And that of love.
Fan Fictions
Kabhi Neem Neem Kabhi Shahad Shahad
