Res ...Saku this was so lovely dear...amazingly poignant. I am very attached to my Papa too, so this struck a deep chord within me. Very beautifully written, conveying Swara's pain at being yet again misunderstood and taken for granted; and yet her resolve to hold firm to her dream, her right to find happiness and fulfilment with the love of her life.
I will un res for a detailed revert tomorrow
Loads of Love
Viji
Un-Res
My Dear Gudiya 🤗 🤗
What a poignant, beautifully articulated letter. This would appeal to all the daughters out there, who share a cherished bond with their fathers.
I've always maintained Shekar is not really Swara's Dad. Oh, he's her biological father all right, but for all the role he played, it might be better to just term him a sperm donor! (Sorry if that sounds indecorous, but its the truth!) 😊
A true father to a daughter, is one who would have fallen in love with his infant daughter the moment she was born. Who would have held her hands as she started to walk, caught her when she stumbled. Who taught her to cycle, scooter, drive the car. Who encouraged her to dream big, soar high on brave wings he gave her, but at the same time stay grounded and rooted, too. Who would have listened, encouraged, agreed, disagreed, and yes, scolded too (but never too harshly; showing love even in his anger...)
Shekar did none of the above things. And not just because he wasn't there to see Swara grow up before his eyes. The fact that he missed out on her formative years since he didn't know he was her Dad, is an excuse which only holds good upto a certain, limited extent. Because if we examine what his actions as a father were like, even after being informed of his paternity, and acknowledging it, they were just plain abysmal.
As Swara so movingly says in her letter, he never even attempted to read the truth, the anguish in her eyes. He so easily passed judgement on her, termed her Shomi's daughter, in the blink of an eye. I still remember, that episode where he comes back to the baadi, after seeing Swara in MM, her maang filled with sindhoor by Sanskaar. He tells Shomi in contemptuous disdain "I saw Your daughter getting her maang filled by her fake husband". 😡 🤢
What kind of a man is this, who would disown his own daughter? Who would never even attempt to give her a fair hearing, the benefit of doubt? And despite all that, inspite of all his sins and hardh words against her, Swara keeps loving him, for he is the only father she has ever known, though he came so late into her life.
That is the other lovely aspect of the letter: where Swara movingly says, that she had to conceal all the hurt and insecurity within herself, and portray a bright, cheerful, valorous exterior. She had to not only be the daughter of the house; but in the absence of a strong, indulgent father, she had to be the son of the house as well! She had to be gritty and resolute, in fighting the battles her father ought to have fought.
And Shekar, far from seeing that, acknowledging that and treasuring his daughter's indomitable spirit, continues to expect more--and more--and more of the same. That his daughter should continue to sacrifice her happiness, stand strong, and fight battles which are not necessarily hers.
It is not just that he understands Ragini better---that might be forgivable after all, since Ragini grew up before him, whereas Swara didn't. But it is his obstinate refusal in even seeing where Swara's happiness lies; what anguish he is inflicting on her with his unreasonable demands, that is truly staggering.
It is said, that every man is his son's first hero; and his daughter's first love. In many respects, we should probably be thankful that Shekar was not a fixture in Swara's life early on? For she might have then looked for traits of her weak kneed, jelly spined father in her future love, and the amazingly, poetically beautiful relationship she has with Sanskaar, might have not come about. But fate, as they say, works in mysterious ways. Swara never had her spineless father in her life till much later; but instead got the resolute, determined, calm and intensely devoted Sanskaar as her soulmate, her other half, her best friend, her lover, her husband.
The sheer gall and effrontery of Shekar is in demanding that Swara now give Sanskaar up. For what? To what end? As Swara says so rightly, how will her heartbreak help in healing her sister's? Its not even as if Ragini has been all tender sisterly affection to Swara either. Even leaving aside Ragini's all too numerous sins against Swara; neither Sanskaar nor Swara were responsible for Ragini's current plight. Shekar truly is attempting to punish the wrong people, fighting all the wrong battles.
I can only end by saying that Shekar is truly a blot on the name of fatherhood. No father would ask his daughter to make such a choice---to renounce her beloved husband, in order to satisfy his own whims. Its wonderful that Swara makes up her mind to not submit to his misguided and myopic decisions this time; and again, just like Swara to keep hopes of a future rapprochement alive. She really would sincerely work at restoring her relationship with her father, and bringing happiness back to her sister's life. That's the irony of it---perhaps the most selfless person in both those families, is being castigated by her senseless father, for being too selfish!
He is the one who is selfish---wedded to his narrow mindedness, his ego, his poverty of perspective. One hopes and wishes that one day, he may prove himself worthy of being termed as something more than a mere sperm donor!
Lots of Love for this amazing letter.
---Viji
Edited by CogitoErgoSum - 9 years ago
