Ragini held onto him tightly I am scared I don't want to go back what if I turn back into the monster I was before jealous, hateful and vengeful and controlled by others. Shekhar held onto her gently he didn't answer at 1st and then caressed her head and said softly we can never predict the future and our future behavior.
She got out of bed then and went to the window , opened it and hugged herself as she felt the cold wind and rain on her skin and she closed her eyes. Shekhar watched her for a while and then went and stood next to her. And said for how long will u hide from yourself and be scared of the person u were and are now. Ragini opened her eyes and swallowed u don't understand the person I was back then I didn't recognize myself but in a way maybe I did, it came so naturally being calculating and vindictive and that was my true. Did Laksh make me feel ashamed of my simplicity or did I always want to be some1 else and wasn't happy with the person I was. Did I get convinced into hurting swara or did I always want to put her down and hurt her I enjoyed messing with her and everyone else I felt powerful and strong and invisible and in tune with myself.
Shekhar watched as she clinched and unclenched her hands and took both of her hands and slowly opened them and kissed each palm. Ragini smiled as she watched him do that and made her forget her past actions then he slowly caressed her right hand and said I loved u not knowing the things u had done in your past, and then moved to her left hand and did the same and said I have loved u knowing your past. He took both her hands and put them together and said that your past, your life biggest achievements and biggest failures have made u who u are today. U can't move on in life fearing the person u were because if u do that u would become your biggest fear. Yes u have hurt people but u have learnt from it, u have loved too much and loved to less but that made u human. U the ultimate good girl gone bad, but u won't just bad u were a monster but the monster doesn't vanish just because u put it in a corner and locked it away. The fear that it will come for u will always be there until u confront it and know truthfully that it won't ever hurt u or anyone else again. Ragini if u don't want to go back I won't for u, this is your choice, it's your life but I don't want u to ever have doubts in your mind as to who u are and who u will be in the future. U making a life for yourself now with people who love u and care for u and will always be there for u no matter what your life is not an imperfect glass house that will be broken any time coz u have a srong foundation unlike before. No one can control your emotions besides u and no one can plant a thought in your head that was never there in the 1st place. U might have been misled but they are still your actions. But you are stronger now, u confident in the person u are and your own self and mind and no one can control u, u got to trust in yourself.
Ragini took her hands away from and went closer to the window and put her hand out and caught the rain drops and then brought her hand inside. She turned and went and sat at the edge of the bed and thoughtlessly dropped the water from one hand to the next not saying anything and then she missed and all the water landed on the floor and she whispered what if I fail, then? What if they don't want to see me, what if they don't want me back, what if they don't think I have changed? He went and sat next to her and took out his hanky chief and took her hand and wiped it and said if u fail u will pick yourself up and try again. But if they don't see the person u are now then u will now at least u tried and u will walk away from them u will always have a soft spot for them and miss them like u always do but their love wnt make u any more stronger nor will their withholding their love make u any less weaker.
She looked at them and smiled and hugged him and he hugged her knowing she would be perfectly fine. He then saw the time and said its late I should leave and he kissed her on her head and then stood up to leave and she grabbed his hand and told him to stay. He said your uncle and she got up and put her arms around his neck and brought his face closer to hers and said u scared and he said not of your uncle, she rubbed her lips on his seductively and asked of who then and he breathless said u, she giggled and said why and tried to move away but he caught her head and brought her face closer and said I love good girls gone bad they just so much fun as he brought his lips to hers and she said I am the ultimate bad girl and gave into the kiss.
Laksh was in his bedroom laying on his bed throwing his stress ball up in the air and catching it nonstop and then finally he hit it away and got up, took off his shirt and got himself a t-shirt and went to the gym he and sanky had got for themselves. He went straight to the punching bag and started punching he didn't care that he had not covered his hands or that they were soon covered in blood. All he could think of was her it had been 3 years since she had gone out of his life, why was she coming back now, what did she want from him, why was he happy to see her, would she want anything from him. He stopped and held onto the bag and smirked and said to himself off course she would want something from him she probably was still in love with him and couldn't stay away from him anymore. He smiled as he thought about her and then looked at the blood on his knuckles and smiled and wiped it on his face and said Ragini. He remembered how she had touched his face and sweetly touched his lips and then tentatively kissed him. he knew that he should have been ashamed of his behavior with her as others were of him but he couldn't care less about them or their thoughts. She was his always his to use or to abuse to disregard or to keep and it would always be that way. He smiled as he turned and saw the blood on his face and said Ragini was always after everyone's blood and he couldn't wait to see her again. who would have thought the little mouse would leave such an impact on his life. A person who he had once thought was boringness personified he now missed. Bad little Ragini he had to admit was fun he never felt as alive or more aware of what was going on with him and everyone else as he had been with her around. Since she had left nothing seemed the same the things he once loved seemed colorless and lifeless and boring. Through the years he had wanted to find her but his ego hadn't allowed him too and so he had waited for her to come back to her 1st love that she would give anything for. He couldn't wait to have her back in his life.
