Originally posted by: CogitoErgoSum
Nyna my dear Pal...🤗 🤗
This was so fabulous, so goose bump inducing, so magnificent in conception and presentation.
I know the theme is nothing similar, but the feel of the lines, the scale, the stylized narration, kind of reminded me of Rime of the Ancient Mariner, by Samuel Taylor Coleridge.
Loved your characterization of Ragini as the Earth, Swara as the River, Lakshya as the Wind, and Sanskaar as Fire. And what titles you chose---so very apt yaar. "The Lament of the Earth"; "The Song of the River"; "The Wail of the Wind"; "The Refrain of the Fire". 👏 👏
When I wrote the Elements series of OS's I conceived of Sanskaar more as an Earth persona, but I can definitely see how he has several characteristics of Fire as well. Water for me was Swara, and I was very happy to see that you conceived her nature as a River, too.
I had initially thought of writing an OS on Air / Wind theme, centered on Lakshya back then, but simply could not do so, as I had become too irritated by his character. I had concluded my OS series therefore with 4 elements: Water (Swara), Earth (Sanskaar), Fire (Annapurna), and Space( Durga Prasad).
I was just blown away (pun intended) 😛 by the beautiful way you wrote Lakshya into your "Wail of the Wind".
Of course, I loved the entire ballad, and I found your last lines (as pertaining to Earth and the Wind---Ragini and Lakshya), very moving, very profound indeed.
""Until the earth, makes true amendsBroken she will be, never to bloom;The wind, as long as he still pretendsOnly despair find in such dreary gloom.But if they do persevere on redemption's trail,Their dance, perhaps, time will tell, in another tale.""
Loved this piece so very much, Nyna. Looking forward to more.
Cheers
---Viji
Dear Viji,
Coming from you, it is the highest praise ever - As I mentioned in the beginning, I was hesitant about posting it in the first place, but now I am so happy I did it. ☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️
Though I have a feeling that Samuel Taylor Coleridge is squirming in his grave (his Rime of the Ancient Mariner is a classic and a fantastic example of the ballad poetry).😉
I was hesistant to ascribe the fire element to Sanskaar after reading your Elements series (Sanskaar does have characteristics of Earth also)- but personally, however hard I tried, I kept coming back to Sanskaar as a personification of fire (blazing , brilliant and his fury). What clinched the deal was some other articles I read - some them mentioned fire and wind as masculine and water and earth as feminine, so I went ahead with Sanskaar as Fire. And between earth and water, here is no doubt as to who is who.
Regarding the titles - Ragini and Lakshya were easy (both forever crying and bemoaing their fate) ; Song of the river was a natural extention of Swara (musical tone to music to song). Refrain of the fire - that was tough (but looking back since it is for Sanskaar, it would be challenging - he does not make is easy) though his refrain' came along with ease.😊
And yes, Lakshya is irritating - believe me, his wail' was the hardest to write- so if it turned out well, guess it was worth. (I almost gave up in sheer frustration- the words just would not fit - it was like the 'element' was 'conspiring' against me😡)
Ragini and Laskhya - true - their love story will really not commence till they truly forgive themselve and each other.
Once again - thank you so much for your lovely comments.🤗🤗
Nyna
PS: are you really serious that you are looking forward to more - I might just take you at your word and actually pen some more stuff like this😉
CID
Bade Achche Lagte Hain Naya Season
