SwaSan OS - Sanity

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arohijsp

@arohijsp

Navigator

Posted: 9 years ago

#11

Who would have thought Swara having such dreams! For a second I thought how our sanskaari Sanskaar became so bold! Alas, Its only a dream.
Good job, nice OS dear!

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sush

@sushups

Sparkler

+ 5

Posted: 9 years ago

#12

Omg... I read it n my mouth automatically opened in surprise... I m still red with the dream... Awesome

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Cogito_Ergo_Sum

@Cogito_Ergo_Sum

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#13

Hey Jazzy sweetheart 🤗

Hope your travel is going well, and the jet lag has eased up a bit.

First off, thanks so much for the mention in the prologue of your OS. Felt very touched, if you feel that I've motivated you in any way to write, well that's very nice of you to say so, and its a privilege for me. 🤗

Coming to the OS--Man, it was intense, passionate, sensuous. 😉 I just loved the way you described Swara's awareness of Sanskaar's physicality. The 30 days separation certainly seems to have worked its magic on the girl. 😳

And your descriptions were so evocative, Jazzy. Sanskaar's face--"as handsome as a fallen angel"; his "canopy of black velvet lashes" and his "dark mocha brown eyes". ☺️

I was on tenterhooks for a moment trying to decipher whether this passionate coupling was actually happening or was it in Swara's heated imagination---and it turned out to be her dream. 😊 But in the end, Sanskaar does call her, isn't it? From LA? Hope their real reunion comes soon---maybe you should write a sequel. 😉

I frankly don't think you need to designate your piece as 18+, it was very classy and sensuous, without being in the least bit risque. If you ask me, you could just leave it with at the most a PG 13 kind of indication. 😊

Looking forward to a possible sequel! 😳

Edited by CogitoErgoSum - 9 years ago

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Anglaise

@Anglaise

Explorer

Posted: 9 years ago

#14

Nice. What a dream?! 👏
written very well.
do continue!

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JazzyM

@JazzyM

Rocker

Posted: 9 years ago

#15

Originally posted by: Sakura24
Was it sanity or insanity? Man, 30 days apart and what a dream was that? I don't know much about ratings dear but I guess at least 16+ would be appropriate, one should be warned before giving such a heart-attack...
You're too good at twists I must say, and it was smartly worded.
Good job!

Aha! The lady who keeps the reader at tenterhook with her thriller likes my twist...I'm very happy! Thanks Saku!

Sanity and Insanity...run in parallel... in one insane moment when something happens even a sane person can go wrong. For me, Swara is under duress, all her efforts are turning futile. For her to stay sane she needs to believe that Sanskar cares and I think, when there is separation, your yearnings will go on overdrive.. I was worried my descriptions were risque...I'll do the sequel to end the story...if not there is no closure..

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JazzyM

@JazzyM

Rocker

Posted: 9 years ago

#16

Originally posted by: TRPS
for a moment , I was confused that it was a dream or not. :P and above all conincident of call. :D and from line "her mind screamed" I got the scenario. :)) brilliant it was Jazzy with a apt title and perfectly suited quotes. :)) if any chance is here for you to continue or you want ,please continue. :))

Thanks for the encouragement. I wanted to keep the readers guessing...was it really happening or was it Swara's imagination...but then, I had to make it to a dream as I'm not sure Sanskar or Swara are in that stage or relationship...

I'll do a closure soon...

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Vianna

@BookWormV

Navigator

Posted: 9 years ago

#17

I have no words. Literally. Blown away. You took my breath away and then it turned out to be a dream! I must confess this angry, drunk Sanskaar is sorta hot! 😉
You gave us a cliffhanger? Are u planning a sequel? Please do let me know.

-V