Hi guys. ..chapter 9 here. ..its really long and is in the past. ..next part will bring us back to the present. ...It starts where the previous chapter ended
CHAPTER 9
She wiped her tears and got up. She had promised herself on a similar night years ago that she wouldn't shed another tear for him. Yet here she was crying because of him. Why did he have to come into htaught her a lotlabout business. ife again? She had been happy after a long time. Perhaps not as happy as she was with him but content. Ragini was getting married to a good guy from a good family. She was thinking of talking to Rishi about their relationship. And then he had walked in to sabotage everything. But she wasn't that girl anymore. She wouldn't be fooled now.
She picked up the diary and shoved it back into the box where it belonged, a mere reminder of a mistake she had made. But that couldn't stop her from remembering what happened.
Those months when they were dating, those moments spent in his company. It was like watching a film.
They never could spend a lot of time together. He was busy with his ever growing business and she with her music and studies. They met whenever they could. Sometimes everyone would join in and sometimes just the two of them. Those were the best moments of her life. They weren't flamboyant about their relationship like Ansh and Myra but they said I love you to each other very often.
Everything went well for about a year. There was something about their relationship which she had both liked and hated. They only lived in the moment. They never discussed their past or future. He had taught her a lot about business. She enjoyed watching him work and loved his strategies. Rishi had once teased that they would be the only couple in the world who discussed work when they were together. She had never actually considered the future of their relationship until Rishi asked her about it a few months before their course would end. Perhaps she had thought about it but dismissed it subconsciously. She knew she wanted him but she didn't know if she was ready to be tied to him forever ...to be his wife. So she had to put it off until he talked about it. But he never did. She had assumed that he too must have similar thoughts.
They were happy until he suddenly turned aloof. Barely a month or two before her final exams Sanskaar left on a business trip to Jaipur. His company had a branch there. Sanskaar was in charge of the Ahmedabad branch and his friend Vikram managed the affairs of the Jaipur branch. But a particular project demanded both their attention. So Sanskaar had joined him. He said he was rather busy and so their communication was limited to a few messages and calls.
She herself had her hands full with Rishi. His breakup with Nisha had left him depressed. It wasn't that he was madly in love with her but the reason she had given him for her decision to dump him had broken his self esteem.Rishi hadn't been serious about her at the beginning Rishi hadn't been serious about her but in a few months he had come to believe that she loved him. But she had only wanted to date the most popular guy of the college. She had told him that she wanted to break up with him because he wasn't serious about his career. She wasn't ready to believe that he would make it big in the music industry some day. She wanted security. This hurt his self confidence and Swara was having a hard time getting him out of that state. It was just the two of them. Anjali had moved in with her parents who had moved to Ahmedabad and Ansh and Myra were on a internship. So Swara was left to take care of her best friend. She was happy to help him. Even as a child he had always been there for her. Listening to her when she wanted to speak her heart out. A shoulder to cry on. An anchor and she was happy to be of any use to him.
A few weeks later Sanskaar had come back and he seemed fine. But then all of a sudden his attitude towards Rishi changed. They had always got on well with each other but suddenly Sanskaar seemed to hate him. During one of their phone conversations he had told her that he didn't want to talk about Rishi. He seemed angry with her too. He barely called her and when she called he would cut short the conversation. One night she asked him meet her over dinner. She was waiting in the restaurant with Rishi when he walked in and got all angry as to why Rishi had accompanied her. That was it. She snapped and that was their first argument. She had left the place with Rishi after telling Sanskaar how much Rishi meant to her. He called her back the next day and asked her to meet him over lunch. When they met he had profusely apologised citing that there was something that was bothering him. His cousin was trying to contact him.
"But how did they know you are here?" She had asked.
"Natasha " he said. Natasha was his pa and his mother's best friend's daughter. She had been struggling to get a job when his friend Vikram had hired her and then sent her to Ahmedabad to be appointed as Sanskaar ' s pa. He didn't want to fire her. So he had told her that he would keep her as long as she told no one about him.
"Not that I Thought she could keep quiet this long but I didn't think they would want to contact me. I don't want anything to do with them. But it seems my cousin still wants something from me " he had told her.
She herself had never liked Natasha. The first time Sanskaar introduced them to each other Swara had seen in her eyes her scorn towards a Bengali girl. One of her Dadi ' s looks. She had always been courteous to Swara but Swara had always sensed the tension underneath the calm exterior . It was clear that she was unhappy about their relationship.
And then her exams started. Rishi was almost back to normal. But Swara was very busy with studies and they had barely talked to each other. She had at this point, begun to think about what to do about their relationship. She couldn't bear the thought of returning to Kolkata leaving Sanskaar behind. But what choice did she have? What could tell her family? Anjali was leaving for Mumbai to join her brother's business. Ansh and Myra were placed in a Delhi based company and were going to tell their families about them. So they were leaving soon after the exams. Rishi had decided to pursue a career in music somehow. She herself was confused. She and Rishi were going to stay in Ahmedabad for a few more days after the exams for a music competition. They had qualified for the state level. She had to talk to Sanskaar. They had to make a decision.
But things didn't go as she planned. It happened the night her exams had ended. Ansh and Myra had just left and Anjali had gone home. Rishi was playing his guitar and she was writing her diary. Her last diary entry. After that she had nothing to write.
Ragini had called her. The conversation was still fresh in her memory.
Sw :"Kya hua Ragu? You sound worried. "
Ragini (hesistantly ):"Di please remain calm. Its Naani. She fainted twice last week. The doctor said she has to undergo a surgery for brain clot "
Swara was too shocked to say anything. Rishi seeing her worried face had sat down with her and put the call on speaker.
Sw :"Ragu why didn't you tell me? "
It was Dida who replied "I told her not to. Your exams were going on na. "
Swara angrily replied "was the exam more important than you? "
Dida laughed and said "you sound just like Shomi. Swara I want to ask you something. My only wish. "
"Of course Dida " she said.
"I want you to fix your marriage before the surgery ".
Swara was shocked. "What? Dida. .."
Her grandmother cut her off "no child. Please listen. I brought you up since you were a year old and I brought you up just like Shomi. Independent and smart. I know you will take care of yourself. But I am worried about you. I want to find a suitable guy for you. I know your Dadaji and Dadi can do that but I know you wouldn't fit in a typical Marwari family and I know that like your mother you too will be happy only if you love the person you are getting married to. So I want to see to it that your marriage is fixed before something happens to me. Please. " Dida said crying.
Swara couldn't refuse and so she told Dida the truth "Dida I love someone. "
Her grandmother was silent for a moment and then she said "I know. I understood when you were home for the holidays. I trust your choice but I would like to meet him soon. Bring him here with you when you return. "
Swara felt herself blush at the thought of introducing Sanskaar to her family. She then knew what she wanted. She was ready to marry Sanskaar. The picture looked so right. She decided to talk to him right then. She wanted to tell him that she loved him and belonged to him forever. She called him and asked him to meet her immediately at the restaurant near her house.
Half an hour later they were sitting opposite each other. He looked exhausted and irritated. She wasn't sure if she should talk to him but then she decided not to postpone this any more.
"Shona , is everything alright? Why did you call me this late? I was in the office. "He asked.
"Sunny listen. I want to talk to you about something. I love you "she said blushing.
"I know Shona. You told me this a year ago. " he said laughing.
"Yes. But there is more. I want to belong to you in every possible way. I want to be with you forever because I can't live without you " She said.
He looked at her confused. She got up and pulled him from his seat and got down on her knee.
"Sunny, you should be the one doing this but Swara Bose can do anything. Mr Sanskaar will you take me as your wife? Will you get engaged to me? "She asked.
She expected to see him happy but on the contrary he looked angry and hurt. He pulled his hand away from hers.
"Kya hua Sunny? "She asked.
"Kya hua Shona? I mean what is the hurry? We are happy. "He said looking away from her.
"Yes I am happy. But we have to go ahead. .."She tried to explain. And asked "Don't you love me? "
"Of course. Don't you love me? Don't you trust my love or do you think you will stop loving me and fall for someone else? "He said stillnot facing her.
"What do you mean?" She asked angrily.
"I don't mean anything. Why this decision all on a sudden? " he asked loudly.
"Will you marry me or not? "She shouted.
"Shona don't behave like a kid. I don't want to do this right now and I will not. " he said.
"Why? "she asked.
"Shona give me some time. "He said.
"My Dida wants to see my boyfriend and conduct my engagement immediately "She shouted.
"Stop it Swara. We cannot just get engaged because your grandma's whim. Is she too like you? Immature. " he asked.
That was it. She snapped.
"Says the guy who left his family on a whim. How can I expect you to understand what my family means to me? "She said raising her voice.
"Wow. Tum to perfect ho. You are so selfish. You left your family and came here when you should have been taking care of your poor grandparents. " he retorted.
"Stop it. Not a word more. Its over. " She said crying as she left the place.
She ran home and went straight to her room. She switched off her phone and lay on the bed crying. The next morning she woke up to see Rishi standing in front of her with a cup of coffee and told him everything.
"Mishti, it is your mistake too. You should have heard what he had to say. Call him. " Rishi said.
"No. "She said.
"Come on Mishti. You love him na. You wanted to marry him last night and this is how strong your feelings are. An argument tore you apart? " He asked.
" Rishi how can you be so good " she said smiling and switched on her phone.
110 missed calls in 4 hours. He had been calling her the whole night. She felt guilty and called him back. His phone was switched off. She waited until the afternoon. Then she and Rishi had turned up at his house. His driver told them that he had dropped Sanskaar off at the airport that morning. When he had brought Sanskaar home last night after his meeting with Swara, Sanskaar had been informed by the maid (who was leaving) that his brother was waiting for him. Sanskaar had gone in looking extremely angry but a fewhours later he had aasked the driver to drop him off at the airport and pick up his partner Vikram 2 hours later and then leave the car at his house. He was to come for work only when Sanskaar returned and according to him even Sanskaar himself didn't seem to know when he was coming back.
The news had bothered her a lot. His cousin had come to meet him and Sanskaar who was very angry with the whole family had gone with him. They had probably gone home. But how and why had Sanskaar agreed to accompany him? The driver had told her that he didn't seem angry when he left but rather distraught and distracted. She couldn't help think of what could have taken place. Was he alright? There was only one way to know. Natasha.
" Sanskaar called me around 1 last night. He was angry that because of me his brother had found him. But I never told anyone. His mother found out from someone that I was working with him. My mom and I refused to divulge any details as I promised him my discretion. But I guess Kaaki found out I was in Ahmedabad which would imply that he is here. Anyway he told me he had to go to Kolkata with Lucky. We have a very important presentation tomorrow and he told me Vikram sir will take his place. He wouldn't tell me anything more. He hasn't called me after that. " Natasha had told her and Rishi. She assured them that were she to talk to Sanskaar she would inform Swara immediately .
3 days passed by with no news about him. On the 3rd day she couldn't take it any more . The guilt was killing her. She had been so rude. She hadn't even given him a chance to explain. And then Natasha had come to meet her. She looked rather worried and apologetic.
" I am sorry Swara. For not informing youwhen he called but I ddidn't want to hurt you butI can't keep the truth from you any longer. You will have to accept it . Sanskaar is getting married. "Natasha said.
Even after all these ears Swara could still feel the dread as she heard those words. Her world had collapsed in that instant.
"No. Are you crazy? " She had asked Natasha.
" Swara please listen. He is marrying a girl his mother and aunt have chosen for him and the wedding will take place today. In a few hours. " Natasha replied.
"No. He wouldn't listen to them. You are lying. Leave. " Swara shouted frantically.
"He wasn't talking to his family right? " Rishi asked.
"He had some tiff with his uncle over his marriage to that Bengali girl. I don't know much about it . But he reconciled with them and the wedding is happening today. " Natasha replied.
"He loves me. He wouldn't marry someone else. " Swara said.
Natasha smiled at her sadly "he doesn't love you. He has loved only Kavita. He once told me that Kavita was his first and last. He was only playing with you. I thought you would understand. He was fooling you. I thought perhaps he was serious about you. ..He seemed to like you genuinely. He found you rather interesting and might have considered you a friend but nothing more. The other women he met were mostly his business partners or their timid daughters. You were a whiff of fresh air. He liked to spend time with you. But I think that was it. "
"No. He knows I love him. " Swara shouted.
" Maybe he thought you weren't serious either. You are a young girl . He might have thought you wouldn't mind. " Natasha told her and added "I know you don't believe me. Maybe you should talk to him. His mobile is switched off as per his mother's orders but I can call his home. " and she had dialed the number and put the phone on speaker.
A young girl answered. "Hi Tara, its me Natasha. Can I speak to Sanskaar? "
Tara was Uttara. His little sister about whom he often talked.
"Offo. He can't talk write now. He is getting ready for the marriage and Ma would kill me if I let you talk to him. " She had said and thensSwara heard him in the background.
"Tara come fast. Help me with the sehra" She heard him say happily.
She was about to fall but Rishi held her firm. Natasha was right. He had never meant to marry her. She broke down and Rishi sat by her consoling her . She barely remembered the next few days. She had barely talked to anyone. Rishi had lied to Ragini that she was ill. He and Anjali had taken care of her. He had been her anchor cheering her up.
As she recovered something else began to bother her. Dida. What could she tell Dida? Make her feel the same pain her mother had caused her. No . she had to do something. Rishi had told her that as soon as she was able to handle herself they would leave for Kolkata and tell Dida the truth.
Rishi had been her sole support and she had showed her gratitude by dragging him into this mess she had created. She had decided to participate in the competition for Rishi but every moment she was hurting. The guitar held many memories of the time she had spent with Sanskaar but she wanted to perform for Rishi. But often she would get depressed and Rishi would do something to cheer her up.
That morning too something similar was taking place. Rishi had forced her to join him in cooking Malai kofta . They had made a mess in the kitchen and were running around the house. She had been laughing heartily after a long time and hugged Rishi thanking him for his constant support and then she heard someone call her from behind. She turned to see her family standing behind her. Dida. Ragini. Dadi.
She stood rooted in her place too shocked to react . Rishi went to them and hugged Dida introducing himself. Then she went ahead and took blessings from her family and welcomed them.
" Dida why did you come here? What about your surgery? I was going to come to Kolkata in a few days . You shouldn't travel. " Swara said worried.
" Swara, I am here for my surgery. My nephew, your Maamu returned from London last week and he is a surgeon. He told me to get admitted here and you know your chotti Naanis are here. So we came here. " and then smiling very happily taking Swara ' s hand she added " I am so happy for you child. You found love and that too a very good guy. Shomi and I always loved Rishi. I am so happy you are marrying him ".
Rishi and she looked at each other taken aback.
" Kya hua? Thinking how I know? I know you two so well and you will make a good couple. " Dida said blessing them. "Did I say anything wrong? "
Swara looked at her grandmother. She looked so fragile. She was the strongest woman Swara had known . Nothing had hurt her except her daughter's pain and Swara didn't want to make her experience the same pain again. Not in this condition.
"No Dida. You are right. Rishi is the best. " Swara said looking at a shocked Rishi.
"Then I will call Panditji to fix the date. " Dadi said happily.
""NO " Swara and Rishi said together.
"I mean we don't want to get married now. I want to make a career in music and Swara wants to pursue a career too. We need time. " Rishi explained.
Dadi looked sad while Dida said " I understand beta but I want to see Swara 's engagement at least before my surgery. " Dida insisted
after repeated request from Dida Swara had no option but to give in.
That night Swara was sitting outside. She had messed up again and pulled Rishi into it. She had no idea what to do. She was sitting alone when Rishi sat near with a cup of coffee as always.
" Sorry. You don't have to do this. I will do something. "Swara said.
" you are my friend and I will always be there with you . I want to do this. I know you are shocked. But I love you and the last few months I have come to realise that I can be happy with you whether you love me or not. He is not coming back Swara .I don't want you to marry me right now. Take as much time as you want. Meanwhile we will both work on our career. Think about it. But I won't force you to do anything. " Rishi said.
That day she had made the best decision of her life . She decided to get engaged to her best friend who had loved her for years without expectations. But she felt guilty of not being able to love him.
"Its all because of you Sanskaar Maheshwari. I hate you. "
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Hope you enjoyed this long chapter. Next part coming soon.
CID
Ishaani
