OS - Karma - Page 3

Originally posted by: medhasankar

Hey Jazz---

Hardly visit the forum nowadays...decided to pursue CFA alongside job--and hence madly busy with studies and work.😕

I was pleasantly surprised to see your pm an added bonus of your very first work--in this forum.

I expected you to write well, one can always say exactly how good a writer the person opposite will be, just by the thoughts and the language of their expression--even in daily conversation. Your replies and our shuttle of comments made me understand that.😳

I have never seen the places you have written about--but you have made them quite a nice little image in my mind now. Good job doing that.

the last bit was my favourite for obvious reasons😉---but I even liked the sparse and to-the-point descriptions.Like the sanskaar in your story, no nonsense.

The longing, and the ultimate fulfillment and a bit of suspense thrown in. I was unsure whether you were writing about ragini and laksh at first and then I settled on swasan.😃

and swasan did not disappoint me----no idhar udhar ki baatey..staright to business.😉

👏👏.

love--

Medha.

PS: thank you for the mention: it pleased me no end. I was like mujhe praise mil gaya!!😆

Originally posted by: -Ros-

Such an intriguing piece... I was sooo tempted to just skip to the last few paragraphs to figure out who he and she were. I'd initially thought it was Swara.. just the way you talked about him being the reason for her sanity. Then I changed my mind to Ragini when the aim of the journey was revealed- to find closure for all her heart ache- I thought she was going to finally give it to him and leave forever. I was still rooting for the man to be Laksh until you started describing him.. his style & preferences.. especially the classiness of the apartment.. Sanskaar! So, I switched back to Swara and even did a mini victory dance when all my jasoosi paid off.😆

Loved that Swasan hardly said anything to each other and just got on with their business. ☺️

Seriously, awesome work! The detailed, meticulous descriptions were..!!

Loved this style of writing. ⭐️

EDIT: Do write more! 😳

Originally posted by: tootiefrootie11

Jazzy! I am so not going to let you off not writing more after this! The descriptive elements in your piece were superlative.

For example, and there are many more but to illustrate my point only, reading " Narry a cloud blemished the bliss-blue complexion and the sun was like the glowing medallion pinned to a sheet of white paper. HE stood in the midst of nature's Jerusalem. Man and Nature were attuned to each other." is so evocative- beautiful.

Also not been to Paris for many years but the description made it come alive and evoked such a quaint Paris. Just overall, the whole sequence flowed and was kept me hooked. I am so impressed! Lovely work Jazz. Please write more x

Originally posted by: CogitoErgoSum

Hey Jazzy...

Really liked this piece. Your descriptions were very evocative. Starting off with Swara's dream of Sanskaar...the sunny, pleasant dream giving way to a darker tint as her mind probably relives their separation...

The way you had described the tense atmosphere in Paris after the attacks, was very deft. You portrayed that feeling of fear, starkly and impactfully, in a very concise manner.

I also liked the way you described Sanskaar's apartment, the way the decor mirrored his personality so well. And the way you described his "bible black brows on his artistic face", had me smiling at your flourish.

Really well done. I enjoyed this thoroughly and I hope its just the first of many. I have a weakness for descriptive writing, the style that makes the images come alive before your eyes, and you have it down pat.

And thanks a lot for that mention in your prologue. I felt very 😳 at that.

Originally posted by: Jidnyasa

Nice...

Wonderful description..

Originally posted by: meera.rajeev

Omg.. This was amazing dear... My mum almost caught me blushing and smiling.. It was
Simply superb... I loved how you described every detail. Do write more. 👏

Originally posted by: prachi_vrushan

nice os

Originally posted by: -Prithi-

awesome OS
do write more