Posted:
Hi everyone,
Not a regular member, especially since I stopped watching regularly, but I was browsing and something struck me. Sanskaar is the one male television character I can think of from all the indian shows I've seen that is actually a well written male character worthy of being called a leading male.
I've seen some complaints about how he should fight for his love and make her realize she loves him and all this other stuff. THAT is not love! That would make him no better than guys like Laksh who think they have a right to tell women how they should feel.
The prevailing theme among male leads I've noticed is that they're actually quite abusive to their female partners, they stand for and uphold every misogynistic ideology that we have been ingrained to believe is okay. Laksh is a perfect example of this. Swara says she doesn't want to be with him, he doesn't listen, she says he needs to move on, he doesn't listen, he resorts to emotional blackmail to get her back - do you recognize how abusive this trend is? He has no respect for Swara's feelings and her own agency as a human being, her feelings aren't valid because he being the man KNOWS what she wants and needs.
Women are faced with this every day! Catcalling, guys harassing women on the street, forcing themselves into their personal space, insisting that the women are attracted or interested. THIS is really toxic behaviour.
The only thing that I continue to actually like about this show is Sanskaar. He treats Swara like the independent human being she is, able to make her own choices. His friendship isn't contingent on her loving him back in a romantic way. They were friends and he will remain being friends with her because it's not her fault or responsibility that HE fell in love with her. That's his issue to deal with. He told her the truth and she said she doesn't feel the same way and that's that. She's a grown woman who knows her mind. He actually listens to her and is supportive of her but does speak up when he has an opposing view or advice for her. But then he shares that with her and steps back to let her do with that information what she wants.
THIS folks is a healthy relationship. Or rather the beginning of one. I mean I think it's a foregone conclusion that ahe will fall in love with him but it won't be because he's been pressuring her or forcing her to feel things she isn't willing to or doesn't feel. Plus can we talk about the honesty in this relationship?!? They tell each other everything. There isn't long drawn out scenes of misunderstandings and lies and hiding things from your partner. They share everything.
Like I get the angry guy trope and all, I myslf have found it interesting in the past, but I think it's high time that they started showing some actual healthy characters/relationships on Indian television. A woman does not have to take crap from a guy or be bullied into loving him - that isn't actually true love. She doesn't have to stay with him if her treats her like crap - oh no, I made him angry, he gets like that, but then he apologizes and everything is okay.
It's scary to me sometimes because there are young women that watch and love these shows and not all of them have access to more positive media (I have cousins who've been in this boat) and they watch these shows and think it's totally norm for guys to act like that when it's SO not. They see abusive relationships in one drama after the next but they're the "perfect" leads of the show, they'll always be together irregardless of all the negative ways the male lead may treat the female.
So yes, I love Sanskaar's character and think he's actually the one character on this show written well. What he's doing is not being mahaan or self-sacrificing - he's just being a decent human being who sees women as capable of making their own decisions and respecting those decisions. More guys should be like this.
And now my phone is about to die so I'll end it there b
Not a regular member, especially since I stopped watching regularly, but I was browsing and something struck me. Sanskaar is the one male television character I can think of from all the indian shows I've seen that is actually a well written male character worthy of being called a leading male.
I've seen some complaints about how he should fight for his love and make her realize she loves him and all this other stuff. THAT is not love! That would make him no better than guys like Laksh who think they have a right to tell women how they should feel.
The prevailing theme among male leads I've noticed is that they're actually quite abusive to their female partners, they stand for and uphold every misogynistic ideology that we have been ingrained to believe is okay. Laksh is a perfect example of this. Swara says she doesn't want to be with him, he doesn't listen, she says he needs to move on, he doesn't listen, he resorts to emotional blackmail to get her back - do you recognize how abusive this trend is? He has no respect for Swara's feelings and her own agency as a human being, her feelings aren't valid because he being the man KNOWS what she wants and needs.
Women are faced with this every day! Catcalling, guys harassing women on the street, forcing themselves into their personal space, insisting that the women are attracted or interested. THIS is really toxic behaviour.
The only thing that I continue to actually like about this show is Sanskaar. He treats Swara like the independent human being she is, able to make her own choices. His friendship isn't contingent on her loving him back in a romantic way. They were friends and he will remain being friends with her because it's not her fault or responsibility that HE fell in love with her. That's his issue to deal with. He told her the truth and she said she doesn't feel the same way and that's that. She's a grown woman who knows her mind. He actually listens to her and is supportive of her but does speak up when he has an opposing view or advice for her. But then he shares that with her and steps back to let her do with that information what she wants.
THIS folks is a healthy relationship. Or rather the beginning of one. I mean I think it's a foregone conclusion that ahe will fall in love with him but it won't be because he's been pressuring her or forcing her to feel things she isn't willing to or doesn't feel. Plus can we talk about the honesty in this relationship?!? They tell each other everything. There isn't long drawn out scenes of misunderstandings and lies and hiding things from your partner. They share everything.
Like I get the angry guy trope and all, I myslf have found it interesting in the past, but I think it's high time that they started showing some actual healthy characters/relationships on Indian television. A woman does not have to take crap from a guy or be bullied into loving him - that isn't actually true love. She doesn't have to stay with him if her treats her like crap - oh no, I made him angry, he gets like that, but then he apologizes and everything is okay.
It's scary to me sometimes because there are young women that watch and love these shows and not all of them have access to more positive media (I have cousins who've been in this boat) and they watch these shows and think it's totally norm for guys to act like that when it's SO not. They see abusive relationships in one drama after the next but they're the "perfect" leads of the show, they'll always be together irregardless of all the negative ways the male lead may treat the female.
So yes, I love Sanskaar's character and think he's actually the one character on this show written well. What he's doing is not being mahaan or self-sacrificing - he's just being a decent human being who sees women as capable of making their own decisions and respecting those decisions. More guys should be like this.
And now my phone is about to die so I'll end it there b
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