Posted:
Thank you all. Here's the final part.
Part II
"Say something," he told her, anxious at her silence.
"I don't know what you mean," she answered. "You mislead me all the time. I broke your heart? How many times have you broken mine? How many times am I to patch it up and carry on trying? I broke your heart! Is it one more euphemism for your feeling I have no right to make any decision about us? Does it mean what you hinted when you were drunk? Is the only way you can see me as anything but your lesser friend when you're not yourself?"
He hadn't expected her to be this way. He had tried to tell her without saying the words, but he was going to have to put himself on the line. "I'm in love with you. I didn't think it could be, but that's how it is."
It was as if time had stopped. She could see he was sincere, she felt her heart struggling with her head. What else mattered? The man she had loved so long loved her. He had come to her. Everything else could be sorted out, surely?
Tail 1, The Ending for Non-YuvAnians (skip this if you love YuvAni, go to Tail 2)
But no, it couldn't, it wouldn't be worked out. He 'didn't think it could be'? Loving her was so unimaginable, he didn't think it could be. She didn't want such love. He was the same Yuvraj who found her disgusting, the same Yuvraj who spoke to her condescendingly, like she was 15 and too beyond the pale because she was not like him. They were different in a way that would always make her ill-suited, ill-mannered, looked down upon, open to his ridicule or correction. And exposed to his dadi's constant barbs and machinations to be rid of her. Was she that desperate? She would regret that they were never on the same page together, but it was better to steel herself now. She could no longer see herself back in that house, knocking herself dead trying to please people, the majority of who only noticed her faults.
She would remember those words he'd flung at her at the contest. everytime they fought--and of course they would fight. Those words were seared on her heart, her hopes had crumbled, her dreams had died. She was no longer able to trust in him, to rely on him. He had been too vicious without any warning. What about the next time he thought she'd hurt him?
"Do you remember when Soumya was playing games with us in your house?" she asked Yuvraj, who nodded, puzzled. "I had enough faith in you that no matter what she did, what you did, how you behaved with me, I was sure you wouldn't betray me like that. But you, what did you do? You attacked me in the most underhand way, in public, you refused to listen, you were so quick to make everything my fault. You say I broke your heart? What heart--the one that beats for dadi? The one that ignores my pain? The one that blames and accuses? The one that shrinks from touching me when your eyes say something else? The one that forgets the only moments in ONE YEAR OF MARRIAGE when you treated me like your wife?"
"But you forgave Soumya. You forgave Rohan," he muttered. She forgave everyone but him, apparently.
She ignored him and carried on. "And I've had a lot of time to think over our time together. Your sudden bursts of being sweet and caring, all husbandly, that was to show Somu, nahi? You didn't care how you misled me or hurt me, as long as your ego got it's kicks. I have to wonder whether anything nice you did was ever for me or to show someone else, or maybe prove something."
He couldn't answer. She was right. He remembered Sharad warning him that he was using her, but he hadn't cared back then. And it had tainted even genuine moments between them. He remembered, with shame, his telling Sharad or his mother how he was so good to her, how he was doing so much when he didn't love her. He had not been so good at all. She had done so much for him, for them all, which she'd not even mentioned. He really had no right to ask anything of her.
"Can't you forgive me?"
"I do forgive you--I told you. But I can't forget. Count it as one more of my sins. Go and live happily with the person you love and trust the most--that's not me. She will arrange your life like she destroyed ours. It IS destroyed now."
He wished he could cry, release the grief and regret, the total despair he felt. She was turning him down, sending him away, the girl who had loved him through every hardship. He wanted to tell her he could leave dadi, get them their own place, start over, but her last words meant that it was finished for her.
He stood up. "I think I should leave now. Things seem quiet enough outside." It was more a question than a statement.
She stood up too. "If you want--see if your car's okay, come back if it's been vandalized. Or you can just leave in the morning."
He stepped towards her and, one last time, put his arms around her. She wanted to cry, and for a few moments she let herself go and returned the hug, letting her head rest against him while blinking back the tears. Then she pulled away. She followed him out and shut the door behind him, watching as he walked away, his head bowed, his shoulders slumped, and finally let the tears flow. She knew he wouldn't be back. Even if his car was wrecked, he would call Sharad bhaiyya. They were done. This was where their story ended. And the greatest irony was she had ended it.
Tail 2: Alternative Ending for Diehard YuvAnians (I feel mean about breaking your hearts, that's why)
"So it's such a burden, is it? I gave up on your love long ago, pal. And I don't trust you anymore."
"You HAVE to give me a chance." She raised her eyebrows at him. "I mean, please give me a chance. Please? I'll get us our own place. You'll never have to tolerate dadi or Ragini bhabhi and Menka again. I'll wash your clothes--in the washing machine, I mean, if you show me how. I'll do whatever you say."
"But you can't change who you are. How could I even ask that of you, when I won't change for you? We're just not suited."
"But I did change, I did. I don't want you any different. We're suited fine. So what if we fight and argue--don't I always let you win?"
"You LET me win? I can beat you in any argument any day of the week. It's I who let you get away with your mad ocd ranting. And I won't be mad with you." At the back of her mind was the memory of her freakishly hygiene-conscious ways since she'd come here, but she'd be damned if she told him that. He'd smile that triumphant smile.
"I can't help myself--you'll have to tolerate my madness. It's not like you're completely sane either. You talk to yourself. But I don't care. I am lost without you, Suhani, it's like nothing matters if you're not there. I remember you all the time. I just need you in my life. And that friend thing? Demote it. I want you as my wife--friend is fine in second place. How dare you think of marrying Rohan. He should be like your brother, the shameless creep. He should call you bhabhi." He grabbed her and shook as if to underline his desperation. "Tell me you're not marrying him! I forbid it!"
She almost smiled. This was a new and different Yuvraj, the one she had glimpsed briefly when he'd been drunk. God only knew how long this would last.
"Rehne do. Tomorrow you'll forget you said these things. Day after you'll lecture me on my shortcomings and after that you'll insult me. You have no respect for me."
"Of course I respect you. I'm just a stupid guy. I may say many things, but if I insult you, I. . .I will. . .what would you like to do to punish me? Spank me!"
She had to laugh at this, which immediately gave him hope that she wasn't so angry after all. "You do still love me? You don't hate me, do you? You don't love that tumhare bhai-jaisa Rohan, surely! I know you. I know you love me."
She gave him one of her looks.
"Suhani, we're alone. At night. There's a nice, comfy bed. Why are we standing around? We can.lie down aaram se, no? OUCH! Ho kya gaya hai tumhe, why this physical abuse? Okay, seriously. Can we just lie down? I won't, you know, do anything. Unless you let me." He smiled wickedly.
Her face felt like it was on fire. She wasn't used to this Yuvraj. Her head was advising caution, but her heart was dancing with joy. She sat down on the bed. He sat down too, then lay back against the pillows and shifted over to the other side. "Come here. Please?"
" Nothing's happening, she said sternly, as she pulled up her legs and leaned back. I'm not going to be a fool over you again."
"Can't we be fools together? I am a very faithful guy. I'll love you always. Even if you sent me away today, I'd still love you. But I can wait. You waited for me, I can wait."
"For a year?" She looked at his horrified face and collapsed against him, laughing,
Part II
"Say something," he told her, anxious at her silence.
"I don't know what you mean," she answered. "You mislead me all the time. I broke your heart? How many times have you broken mine? How many times am I to patch it up and carry on trying? I broke your heart! Is it one more euphemism for your feeling I have no right to make any decision about us? Does it mean what you hinted when you were drunk? Is the only way you can see me as anything but your lesser friend when you're not yourself?"
He hadn't expected her to be this way. He had tried to tell her without saying the words, but he was going to have to put himself on the line. "I'm in love with you. I didn't think it could be, but that's how it is."
It was as if time had stopped. She could see he was sincere, she felt her heart struggling with her head. What else mattered? The man she had loved so long loved her. He had come to her. Everything else could be sorted out, surely?
Tail 1, The Ending for Non-YuvAnians (skip this if you love YuvAni, go to Tail 2)
But no, it couldn't, it wouldn't be worked out. He 'didn't think it could be'? Loving her was so unimaginable, he didn't think it could be. She didn't want such love. He was the same Yuvraj who found her disgusting, the same Yuvraj who spoke to her condescendingly, like she was 15 and too beyond the pale because she was not like him. They were different in a way that would always make her ill-suited, ill-mannered, looked down upon, open to his ridicule or correction. And exposed to his dadi's constant barbs and machinations to be rid of her. Was she that desperate? She would regret that they were never on the same page together, but it was better to steel herself now. She could no longer see herself back in that house, knocking herself dead trying to please people, the majority of who only noticed her faults.
She would remember those words he'd flung at her at the contest. everytime they fought--and of course they would fight. Those words were seared on her heart, her hopes had crumbled, her dreams had died. She was no longer able to trust in him, to rely on him. He had been too vicious without any warning. What about the next time he thought she'd hurt him?
"Do you remember when Soumya was playing games with us in your house?" she asked Yuvraj, who nodded, puzzled. "I had enough faith in you that no matter what she did, what you did, how you behaved with me, I was sure you wouldn't betray me like that. But you, what did you do? You attacked me in the most underhand way, in public, you refused to listen, you were so quick to make everything my fault. You say I broke your heart? What heart--the one that beats for dadi? The one that ignores my pain? The one that blames and accuses? The one that shrinks from touching me when your eyes say something else? The one that forgets the only moments in ONE YEAR OF MARRIAGE when you treated me like your wife?"
"But you forgave Soumya. You forgave Rohan," he muttered. She forgave everyone but him, apparently.
She ignored him and carried on. "And I've had a lot of time to think over our time together. Your sudden bursts of being sweet and caring, all husbandly, that was to show Somu, nahi? You didn't care how you misled me or hurt me, as long as your ego got it's kicks. I have to wonder whether anything nice you did was ever for me or to show someone else, or maybe prove something."
He couldn't answer. She was right. He remembered Sharad warning him that he was using her, but he hadn't cared back then. And it had tainted even genuine moments between them. He remembered, with shame, his telling Sharad or his mother how he was so good to her, how he was doing so much when he didn't love her. He had not been so good at all. She had done so much for him, for them all, which she'd not even mentioned. He really had no right to ask anything of her.
"Can't you forgive me?"
"I do forgive you--I told you. But I can't forget. Count it as one more of my sins. Go and live happily with the person you love and trust the most--that's not me. She will arrange your life like she destroyed ours. It IS destroyed now."
He wished he could cry, release the grief and regret, the total despair he felt. She was turning him down, sending him away, the girl who had loved him through every hardship. He wanted to tell her he could leave dadi, get them their own place, start over, but her last words meant that it was finished for her.
He stood up. "I think I should leave now. Things seem quiet enough outside." It was more a question than a statement.
She stood up too. "If you want--see if your car's okay, come back if it's been vandalized. Or you can just leave in the morning."
He stepped towards her and, one last time, put his arms around her. She wanted to cry, and for a few moments she let herself go and returned the hug, letting her head rest against him while blinking back the tears. Then she pulled away. She followed him out and shut the door behind him, watching as he walked away, his head bowed, his shoulders slumped, and finally let the tears flow. She knew he wouldn't be back. Even if his car was wrecked, he would call Sharad bhaiyya. They were done. This was where their story ended. And the greatest irony was she had ended it.
Tail 2: Alternative Ending for Diehard YuvAnians (I feel mean about breaking your hearts, that's why)
"So it's such a burden, is it? I gave up on your love long ago, pal. And I don't trust you anymore."
"You HAVE to give me a chance." She raised her eyebrows at him. "I mean, please give me a chance. Please? I'll get us our own place. You'll never have to tolerate dadi or Ragini bhabhi and Menka again. I'll wash your clothes--in the washing machine, I mean, if you show me how. I'll do whatever you say."
"But you can't change who you are. How could I even ask that of you, when I won't change for you? We're just not suited."
"But I did change, I did. I don't want you any different. We're suited fine. So what if we fight and argue--don't I always let you win?"
"You LET me win? I can beat you in any argument any day of the week. It's I who let you get away with your mad ocd ranting. And I won't be mad with you." At the back of her mind was the memory of her freakishly hygiene-conscious ways since she'd come here, but she'd be damned if she told him that. He'd smile that triumphant smile.
"I can't help myself--you'll have to tolerate my madness. It's not like you're completely sane either. You talk to yourself. But I don't care. I am lost without you, Suhani, it's like nothing matters if you're not there. I remember you all the time. I just need you in my life. And that friend thing? Demote it. I want you as my wife--friend is fine in second place. How dare you think of marrying Rohan. He should be like your brother, the shameless creep. He should call you bhabhi." He grabbed her and shook as if to underline his desperation. "Tell me you're not marrying him! I forbid it!"
She almost smiled. This was a new and different Yuvraj, the one she had glimpsed briefly when he'd been drunk. God only knew how long this would last.
"Rehne do. Tomorrow you'll forget you said these things. Day after you'll lecture me on my shortcomings and after that you'll insult me. You have no respect for me."
"Of course I respect you. I'm just a stupid guy. I may say many things, but if I insult you, I. . .I will. . .what would you like to do to punish me? Spank me!"
She had to laugh at this, which immediately gave him hope that she wasn't so angry after all. "You do still love me? You don't hate me, do you? You don't love that tumhare bhai-jaisa Rohan, surely! I know you. I know you love me."
She gave him one of her looks.
"Suhani, we're alone. At night. There's a nice, comfy bed. Why are we standing around? We can.lie down aaram se, no? OUCH! Ho kya gaya hai tumhe, why this physical abuse? Okay, seriously. Can we just lie down? I won't, you know, do anything. Unless you let me." He smiled wickedly.
Her face felt like it was on fire. She wasn't used to this Yuvraj. Her head was advising caution, but her heart was dancing with joy. She sat down on the bed. He sat down too, then lay back against the pillows and shifted over to the other side. "Come here. Please?"
" Nothing's happening, she said sternly, as she pulled up her legs and leaned back. I'm not going to be a fool over you again."
"Can't we be fools together? I am a very faithful guy. I'll love you always. Even if you sent me away today, I'd still love you. But I can wait. You waited for me, I can wait."
"For a year?" She looked at his horrified face and collapsed against him, laughing,
Udne Ki Aasha
Cricket
