Posted:
This story begins about 3 or 4 weeks from the current SSEL
situation. The truth about the divorce papers has come out, as has
dadi's role in misleading Rohan. Yuvraj has burned in the fires of hell,
but of course dadi has convinced him she only spoke the truth and was
innocent of anything Rohan did. He has remembered the evening he was
drunk and his intimacy (in the ssel sense) with Suhani, his desperate
need for her, and has acknowledged that he loves her truly, madly,
deeply. Before he can meet Suhani, he hears that she is going to marry
Rohan after divorcing him.
Rohan, meanwhile, has regretted his part in the Yuvraj-Suhani break-up
(basically, I'm too lazy to do the whole obsessed lover bit I actually
expect from him) and has humbly asked forgiveness from Suhani and her
family. His version is that he was misled by dadi and was acting on her
suggestion that Yuvraj and Suhani should be freed from their unhealthy
alliance. He's holding her to her reluctant acceptance of his proposal,
but with the condition that he will give her time, and if she honestly
cannot bring herself to accept him, see how right he is for her, he will
release her from her promise. He insists that Yuvraj is totally wrong for her
and he, Rohan, will be her soulmate and make her happy. He is no longer living
at her house, but visits her often. Her parents are, as usual, too
stupid to do anything constructive.
Suhani has gone over the events beginning from the time of the contest over and over
in her mind. She is convinced Yuvraj is a lost cause, but she still loves
him, of course. She has been bamboozled into accepting Rohan's proposal,
but doesn't want to marry him. She has decided to let it rest for now
and eventually put him off.
She was going to marry that cheat Rohan? That troublemaker who was the cause of everything? The creep who had eyed his wife and lusted after her and broken them apart? When he said this to Sharad, his cousin's response shocked him.
"Par Suhani bhabhi ko bhi yehi lagta hoga, na, Guru? Dadi ne jo bhi kiya unhe tumhari taraf se maaf. Kitni koshishen ki bhabhi ko tumhari zindagi se nikaalne ki, par tum phir bhi unhe kachhu bolte nahi. Toh shaayad theek hi hai ki tum seekho kaise lagat hai koi jab nainsaafi karat hai. Woh Rohan sasura bahut chalaak hai. Jaise dadi tumko patti padavat hai, oo bhabhi ko padata hoga."
He could understand what Sharad was saying, but that was not his main concern now. He had to see her. He was going to anyway, to apologize, ask her to forgive him, tell her his feelings. But her marrying Rohan! The idea made him so scared and, as was his usual response to fear, so angry, he had to confront her immediately, fling her unfaithfulness in her face. He checked himself--no, not unfaithfulness, his Suhani wasn't like that. But she was HIS, how could she. . .? Maybe it wasn't true. He was going there now, right away.
Yuvraj drove to her locality and parked some distance from her house, as it was impossible to take the car all the way in. It was evening, and there seemed to be something going on in the locality. He looked at the rowdy crowds distastefully and made his way to Pankaj's house. He knocked at the door and then thought of running away--all his anger had vanished suddenly at the idea of facing a Suhani who looked at him with uncharacteristic indifference or anger. But it was too late. Lata was at the door, looking as worried as usual.
"Yuvraj, tum, yahan, is waqt?" She looked over his head and quickly pulled him into the house. "Pankajji aur Suhani kahan reh gaye? Kuch dange-phasad ho rahe hain, main toh phikar se mari jaa rahi hun."
"Dange? Suhani baahar hai? I'll go and find her, Aunty."
"Nahi, beta, Pankajji hain, tumhe toh area bhi maloom nahi. Baitho tum. Yahan kaise?" she asked nervously.
Before he could reply, Pankaj and Suhani burst through the door. They stopped abruptly when they saw him. Pankaj kept shifting his glance to Yuvraj as he told Lata that rioting had started, they were burning autos, and fights had broken out. It had apparently begun when an auto caused an accident and the auto driver attacked the other driver, who could die from his injuries.
It didn't seem quite the time to accuse Suhani of . . . what exactly was he going to accuse her of? He felt terribly awkward right now, with Suhani avoiding his glances, Pankaj looking like he'd prefer to throw him out, and only Lata being civil. When he tried to leave, her parents told him it was impossible, too dangerous. Even if his car was still intact, curfew would've been clamped by now.
Of all the rotten luck in the world! He sat through an excrutiatingly silent dinner, and Lata made him comfortable for the night, while everyone went to their respective rooms. It seemed relatively quiet here--maybe he should've taken a chance and left. But his mother had been frantic when he'd suggested coming home when he'd called her, so he'd promised to stay put.
It was so hot and stuffy. He cautiously went out into the living room, opened a window and stood there trying to calm himself. He was agitated and keyed up.
"Tumhe toh AC ke bina chalega nahi, na?" He jumped at the sound of her voice and turned. She was obviously on her way to refill her water jug."Tum yahan kya karne aaye ho? Kuchh kahna sunna baki rah gaya hai, kya?"
"Is it true? Are you going to marry Rohan?" he blurted out.
"What's it to do with you? Tumhe to azaadi mil gayi, na, hamare sawle chehre se? Hamari zingadi mein hum kuch bhi karein, tumse matlab?"
"So I was right. Yeh sab Rohan ka chakkar hai."
"You don't dare! Kis haq se mujhse kuchh bhi keh sakte ho tum? Apni har galti bhula ke hampe izlaam lagate ho?"
"Main tumpe koi ilzaam nahi laga raha hun. Achhi tarah jaanta hun tumhe. Maine kaha yeh sab Rohan ki chaal hai."
She started to answer, then clamped her mouth shut and walked away. He followed her into the kitchen, saying, "Baat karo mujhse. Is tarah mujhe look matt do, give me a chance to say sorry."
She looked at him blankly and moved towards her room. Say sorry, she thought to herself. He wants to wipe away everything by saying sorry! I'm not going to fall for his sorries. I must not forget what he did--and what he didn't do, how he spoke to me at the party, how he didn't even try to find out why I told off dadi.
He had actually followed her into her room! "Kya kar rahe ho--jao yahan se," she whispered.
"Again, are you marrying Rohan?"
"Again, what's it your business?"
He caught her by the wrist and jerked her towards him. "I swear, Suhani, usse kaat ke rakh doonga. Tum aise farebi se shaadi nahi kar sakti."
"Theek hai, toh aur kissi se kar lenge, par chhoro humein tum aur jao yahan se."
"Answer one question: you don't love me anymore?"
She was silent, twisting her wrist, trying to free herself. He smiled that smile that had fooled her so many times, and she snapped back in irritation, "Don't preen. I'm just not as 'honest' as you. I don't go around hurting people like you do. Oh sorry, you only hurt people who aren't as fair, as good-looking, as rich as you. Like me, Sharad bhaiyya, Ramesh. All the dregs of society. Let me go."
He pulled her even closer. "Answer me. Saaf saaf kaho--you feel nothing for me? Rohan has turned your head so much? Owww!" he yelped, as she stamped hard on his foot. "Oh very mature!" He let go of her as he clutched his foot, then again moved next to where she'd sat down.
"Go away, Yuvraj. Next time I won't just stamp your foot, I'm warning you."
"Suhani," he said, his voice serious now, "I remember that time I got drunk. I remember that you promised you wouldn't leave me. I. . .I remember all of it."
Her wretched heart was racing. All of it? Did he mean he remembered what came before the time he begged her not to go? And how did it matter anyway?
"I am sorry. I am really, truly sorry about what I did to you, what I said at the contest. It wasn't true, I was trying to hurt you. I am sorry ki soche bina, kuch poochhe bina, maine party ke din tumse aise baat ki, jo bhi kaha. In my mind I had to hurt you back like you hurt me. And I thought you had hurt me by sending those papers, by insulting dadi because you no longer cared about me or my family. I was wrong."
"Okay, fine. You're sorry. I believe you. I forgive you. Now go."
"Tum samajhti kyun nahi ho? Why don't you understand why I was so angry, why you hurt me so much, why I hurt you? Phir se tumhare aage girgirau? Shall I beg you again?"
"Lo, aa gaye na apni baat pe? Samajhna hame chahiye, par jaise tum chaho. Tum vaar karo, par dosh hamara. Har baat mein I am the problem. I don't want you begging me, I never did. I don't want to remember that day, it was one more dhoka. I just can't take any more."
"You broke my heart. There I've said it. You broke my heart."
She looked at him, silent for the longest time. Was he saying he loved her, or was it another misleading statement, like she'd wounded his pride? Did it change anything? Hadn't she thought this through and decided that Yuvraj and she were ill-suited, not good for each other, a mistake that should have ended months ago?
I don't know why there's so much Hindi in this, but if anyone finds it really difficult to understand, I'll do a translation--eventually.
Sorry, formatting got screwed up.
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