Posted:
So I saw many posts where people are genuinely sad that both in the show & even here in the forum ppl r hating only Nandini or bashing her more while kinda being more tempered or moderate in their criticism of Kunal. I understand their concern. It almost seems like Nandini is being abused due 2 the classic "ALWAYS BLAME THE WOMAN" syndrome most prevalent in India. However for this show I think its slightly more nuanced than just hate/scorn for the other woman.
I wanted to make a post on this & sorry but it ll b quite lengthy & I am going 2 ramble a lot 😳
I think the main reason is the lead up or build up towards the event of the actual affair. From the beginning Kunal was shown to be a loving husband, son, grandson. He was shown to have ethics & honesty. They showed instances of him helping others. So the audience had an initial positive perception & reaction to Kunal. They were like Ok this guy is really good so how the hell does he end up having an affair, may be he wont. So audience had seen some goodness in this character. He may have flaws but he does seem 2 ve at least a few redeeming qualities. Now contrast this with Nandini. She was never shown in a positive light. It was more of sympathy & pity. Audience felt pity for her but never got a chance to see her being nice, positive & caring. In the lead up to the affair all that the audience saw was her being abused, raped, her crying, shivering all the time. Now dont get angry. I am not mocking her trauma or belittling the abuse she suffered. All I am saying is beyond a point audience get fed up by the repetitive cycle of abuse, rape, crying, shivering, cooking, abuse, rape, crying, shivering... u get the drift. Yes the audience felt her pain but it soon become exhausting & mentally draining. Basically the CVs failed to show anything nice about her. All that the audience say was an abused woman who dint ve the means, support or courage to walk out of an abusive marriage. We felt sorry for her but there was nothing great to like about her. There were no shining qualities of her which the CVs showcased. So the audience never got any positive vibes from her to fall in love with her or like her.
Then comes Mauli & her interaction with these 2 characters. Yes Mauli loved Kunal & his family. She worked hard to take care of them & was always supportive of Kunal. But in the initial episodes they did show Kunal also returning that love & care. He was supportive of her career & even stood up for her when Mauli's mom was scolding her. And from the body language of every1 it was obviously not a 1 off case. So Kunal has stood up for Mauli many times in the past as well. There were glimpses of him caring for her. Little gestures like making tea for her, massaging her leg etc etc. So again CVs showed Kunal in a positive light tat till now he has been a loving husband who doted on his wife. Again a positive enforcement in the minds of audience. Now compare this to Mauli's equation with Nandini. From the beginning it was always skewed. When Mauli complained bt Rajdeep molesting her Nandini dint support Mauli. Nor did she bother to even talk to her later to comfort her. In the present again Mauli finds that Rajdeep is torturing Nandini. She helps Nandini. Fights with Rajdeep. Takes care of Nandini. Brings her to her own house, insists that she stay there. Treats her like a family member. Not only Mauli, Kunal's own family accepted Nandini as 1 of their family. Cared for her, pampered her, supported her. Now do u guys get what I am trying to say. Till Nandini came into the picture Kunal & Mauli's relationship was balanced. There was a beautiful give & take. The love & care was frm both sides. In Nandini & Mauli's relationship this was never the case. Nandini never gave back anything to Mauli. It was always Mauli giving giving giving & Nandini taking taking taking. There was no balance. No moderation. So audience always felt this 1 sided nature of this friendship & hence never warmed up to Nandini the way they warmed up to Mauli. Yeah there was this future track of EMA playing in the audience mind but tats all the more reason y CVs should ve worked hard to show Nandini in positive light at least initially. So when the final betrayal happened the audience who were never given any reason 2 warm up to or like Nandini absolutely loathed her.
For the viewers Kunal at least HAD (note the past tense) some good/redeeming qualities. Unfortunately Nandini had none. Hence the tidal wave of hatred & full on bashing of Nandini.
Finally a few points on forgiveness. Never underestimate the power of forgiveness. We think that this lets the culprit escape, go scot free. But actually it also frees the victim mentally. Of course this is only for crimes like cheating, affair etc & not for heinous crimes like rape, murder, torture etc. Here as long as Mauli holds on to hate & vengeance she can never truly break free of her marriage. Divorce is only a physical separation. But by forgiving Kunal she will finally be emotionally free of him as well. As long as she holds on to that anger & hate she will always be tied to Kunal & their broken marriage. So the day she truly forgives Kunal she will be free. Till that she will never be happy. She can never fall in love again, marry, have a family of her own. Her hate will always hold her back. So Kunal's salvation also means Mauli's freedom. And for this Kunal must truly repent & beg Mauli for her forgiveness. In the past episodes Kunal is being shown 2 feel guilt, regret & repentance. He keeps thinking of Mauli's words & his mom's (in fact he thinks of his mom more than Mauli). Kunal does have some goodness in him. Now plz dont get angry & bash me for that. Yes he is lusty, weak, wavering minded guy. But we cant deny that deep down he is still a good guy unlike Rajdeep who is pure evil with no goodness. Many like me also feel this & again this is not because he is a man. This is because the CVs r actually showing him feeling bad. He realizes his actions ve hurt Mauli & his own family. He accepted his mistake & owned up to it. He dint try 2 justify it. He left the house coz he felt he deserved that punishment. Reason y he also let Rajdeep beat him up. Its like he wants 2 b punished. So the repentance has started. He may no longer love Mauli but he sure still cares for her. Yeah in his lust he forgot that. But now that he has woken up from his lust he feels her pain. He regrets that he is the 1 who caused that pain. By showing this regret the audience see his human side. Yes he goofed up, yes he is pathetic. But he still has emotions. He still cares.
Now contrast that with Nandini. So much has happened but she still feels 0 guilt. She doesnt realize that what she did is wrong, a sin. She is still trying 2 justify her actions. She still doesnt feel Mauli's pain. Not once did she say God I know Kunal only for few days & I love him & cant stay without him. Mauli has known, loved & lived with him for so many years, how heart broken she must be. She still doesnt care for Mauli. She still doesnt care about Kunal's family who supported her so much. For eg she dint call back Dida to tell her that Kunal was safe. She doesnt know that Mauli also was in the hospital. So basically Kunal's family might not know bt his condition. Still all tat she was worried bt was making Kheer for Kunal. This shallowness, selfishness & sheer inhumanity of Nandini is wat is causing the audience to hate her. This has got nothing 2 do with her gender.
In the show the characters might b shown to react more strongly to Nandini coz she is THE OTHER WOMAN (eg Mauli's mom, Rajdeep, society). But the hate that she is getting from the audience is more due to the above points & less to do with her gender.
Sorry for the long post. I ve rambled too much. Please dont fall asleep while reading & do share ur views 😆
Kumkum Bhagya
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