Daffodil Part 2 Page 4

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Abhiya

@abhiya_12

Achiever

+ 7

Posted: 7 years ago

#11

It's beautifully written I really really hope they show something like this on show too. More of Mauli's heartbreak than fake guilt of KuNan.

I really felt her pain through your words.

It's beautiful!!

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amortentia15

@amortentia15

Dazzler

Posted: 7 years ago

#12

Originally posted by: SummerRain7
So beautifully written!! The rawness of her pain portrayed so well !!
"Did they laugh behind her back?" - This line really got to me. Cheating and deceit always go hand in hand, and while cheating breaks your heart, deceit destroys your sense of self, making even the most confident, self-assured and emotionally secure person question their worth.

And I loved how you ended it. A very symbolic way of showing that she may find love again.

Hii!! Thank you so much... 😳

The one para where she thinks whether they had fun at her expense is heartwrenching you are right...because not only do people lose their self worth if this haapens they start believing there's something wrong in them...

Phew!!! Mauli faced the worst betrayal possible but the person she is, she will bounce back stronger this time...

Every person betrayed deserves to...

The key symbolism.at the end...maybe it will open up new hopes and a new chance at happiness for her...😊

Edited by amortentia15 - 7 years ago

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amortentia15

@amortentia15

Dazzler

Posted: 7 years ago

#13

Originally posted by: Banjaaran.
Wonderful story A.
So beautifully, vividly penned that i was visualizing the whole sequence in stunning colours. (even sounds).
It really is beautiful.

Mauli's emotions and her reactions was poignantly portrayed.
I loved the aura of the man and his entry.

you HAVE to continue this one. Warna i will channel tons of K-N Juzzbaats into your consciousness. 😈

Thank you Nimmi!!! I gathered your name from your devlok thread..😆 I am so glad that you liked it...(me ijj blushing)😳 *hugs* to you...

Haha!!! Now you've given me nightmares!! K-N waale juzzbaat in tonnes...I am shuddering and quivering and quavering in fright...bache ko aise nehin daraate😆

I will definitely try to turn this into a short story...because i i really want kunaal to repent , nandini to realise what she had done and our Mauli to move on happily...😊

Lots of love

Juhi...

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Anjali

@arshi_asya

Dazzler

Posted: 7 years ago

#14

Oh my God.

It's so well written. I so want this track to unfold like this.

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amortentia15

@amortentia15

Dazzler

Posted: 7 years ago

#15

Originally posted by: abhiya_12
It's beautifully written I really really hope they show something like this on show too. More of Mauli's heartbreak than fake guilt of KuNan.
I really felt her pain through your words.

It's beautiful!!

Thank you dear...

It means a lot when you say you could feel her pain through my write-up...Thank you so much for the lovely words...😳

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amortentia15

@amortentia15

Dazzler

Posted: 7 years ago

#16

Originally posted by: arshi_asya
Oh my God.
It's so well written. I so want this track to unfold like this.

I am so glad you liked it...thank you do much dear😳

Yes i too want her to cry her heart out but thenn never look back...

Crying is not a sign of weakness its just a way to lessen the burden in the heart...

And I am really hoping for a strong script for mauli's journey...

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prettywomaniya

@prettywomaniya

Dazzler

Posted: 7 years ago

#17

this forum has got really amazing writers..

glad to be a part of this forum.

coming to your story..

i loved the way you have penned it down ... everything was playing in my mind scene by scene.. the dailogues are awesome.

my poor heart goes out to mauli..

pls keep writing more..

not into ffs but u guys r so damn awesome that i cant help but read and praise..

continue soon

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madlal

@madlal

Explorer

Posted: 7 years ago

#18

Very very well written way of exposing.I loved it.Thank you for this OS.I am waiting for this to happen.

Edited by madlal - 7 years ago

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amortentia15

@amortentia15

Dazzler

Posted: 7 years ago

#19

Originally posted by: Anahi
this forum has got really amazing writers..
glad to be a part of this forum.
coming to your story..
i loved the way you have penned it down ... everything was playing in my mind scene by scene.. the dailogues are awesome.
my poor heart goes out to mauli..

pls keep writing more..
not into ffs but u guys r so damn awesome that i cant help but read and praise..
continue soon

Thank you for such generous words!!😳

I am glad i could make you feel what Mauli in my imagination would go through when she met with the truth...phew!!! Even writing it was depleting because i got emotional...😆

But i fully plan to show kunaal repenting and pining for her yeah!!!😊

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iykyk

@iykyk_3

Rocker

+ 6

Posted: 7 years ago

#20

It's beautiful! The raw pain & agony is so heart-wrenching. My heart cries for the beautiful soul who has been shredded into pieces by the ones whom she loved the most. She trusted them with her heart. She believed them to keep it safe. But they played with it & mocked her in return. How is a person supposed to stay sane & calm after such a betrayal? How do one overcome the brutal slaughter of their trust? Heartbreaks not only break one's heart, it also make people experience physical pain. And the excruciating physical & emotional pain makes one drain out completely.

I love reading & writing about human emotions in depth. You have done a wonderful job in portraying it. You're a brilliant author. I loved how you described the stranger at the end. It sounded very symbolic. The streetlights forming a halo like appearance made him look like an angel ( a guardian angel for Mauli). And the hand offering help, ready to pull her out of her sorrows...

Are you planning to continue this? Please do continue. I really want to read rest of her journey & also the fate of the betrayers. I want to see how Kunal's Mom react to the betrayal. And I would love to read more about Mauli & 'the man'. 😳

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