I had this little story going on inside my head, about what it is that made Kunal fall for Nandini, all thanks to Pamk06 who raised some interesting points in her posts recently. I'd have posted this there, but it turned out to be too darn long, so I thought it's better to make a new topic.
The point that she raised was that, marriages often start out on a happy note and with a lot of love between the couple. But with time, the challenges of daily life start taking a toll on the them, sometimes in ways that they themselves don't realize, with the result that they fail to identify the inadequacies and shortcomings in their relationship and continue to believe that they are happy. And then one day, something happens that make them realize what it is that they have been missing all this while, and the relationship that they shared till then becomes lacklustre in their eyes all of a sudden.
Another way of looking at it would be, that sometimes we go about living our lives with a set of beliefs about what makes us truly happy, and then suddenly come face-to-face with something that starts challenging those beliefs and eventually maybe even changing them.
Here, Kunal grew up in a happy household under the guidance of strong willed and opinionated women like his mother and grandmother. In one of the episodes, they had mentioned about Kunal playing with dolls in his childhood, and I believe this was to emphasize on the point that his parents have never enforced stereotypical gender roles on him, and that they have made a conscious effort to keep him away from toxic masculinity.
He was taught to treat people with respect, irrespective of their gender.
No doubt, he did grow up to become a liberal, progressive man and I think it's safe to assume that he must have envisioned a strong, independent woman as his life partner. Since Mauli fit the bill perfectly, it would have been natural for him to fall in love with her.
And it wasn't a weak sort of love. They have developed trust and understanding, and even after settling into their routine life, their love was shown to be in tact.
Kunal was truly proud of who his wife was, both professionally and personally and he never shied away from showing it either. We have seen him celebrating Mauli's success whole heartedly, and we have seen him pampering her with love and care.
Whenever Mauli compromised on their couple time, his annoyance never lasted long. He never turns it into a bitter argument and leave it to fester. He may have wanted her to cook and serve him his favourite food and even take care to dress according to his taste more often. (Going by Mauli's statements on why Kunal would have liked Nandini) But being a doctor himself, he knows the demands of her profession, and after working long hours, he knows, it would be impractical and frankly insensitive of him to expect her to do all of that. And knowing Mauli's passion for her work, he can never resent her for that. His belief system doesn't allow that. So, with some adjustments and compromises, he truly believed himself to be happy.
That's why when Pamk06 first mentioned about inadequacies in his marriage that he could be unhappy about, I countered it immediately, because I was looking for tangible evidence in the form of bitter, unresolved arguments, practical problems where both have polar opposite views making it impossible for them to reach a resolution, monologues that hinted on brewing resentment.etc.
But that was not the case here. Kunal truly believed himself to be happy because his belief system told him he was doing the right thing . But your belief system telling you to be happy and you actually being happy are two different things. I'm sure we all have experienced this conflicting state at different times in our lives, at least I have. You know it is the right thing, everyone around you tells you it's great, they are happy for you... blah blah.. It rubs off on you, you go about your day feeling happy and thankful for whatever it is that you have in your life, and yet in the silence of the night, in those few minutes before you slip into sleep, when you are completely with yourself, you don't feel that happiness. It is a fleeting feeling that we often ignore or we don't have the time to dig into, and then a new day comes and you are again too busy to worry about it.
What I am trying to say is that, it is possible that Kunal was going through something like this. And that's when a beautiful woman called Nandini walks into his life. He saves her from difficult situations a couple of times, not knowing that she was his wife's estranged friend. His goodness and humanity propelled him to do things for her, which he would have done for any other girl in that situation.
But after he came to know that Nandini was Mauli's friend, naturally there was an additional reason for him to do things for her. Mauli also (sometimes quite annoyingly) made sure that he was as involved as her in helping Nandini out of her situation. But it was after Nandini came to live with them, this silent communication of sorts started between Kunal and Nandini.
Mauli worried for Nandini constantly and in her over enthusiasm to make everything alright, she wanted to do everything to get Nandini out of the wretched life that she was living. Not that she was doing anything wrong, she did more than what even families would do, but her concern and care can be a little overwhelming. Kunal on the other hand , had a more restrained approach and displayed a silent understanding, a rare sensitivity to Nandini's situation and her feelings, that probably struck a chord with Nandini. In return, he was probably struck by the gratitude and vulnerability that reflected in Nandini's eyes. It must have been a new experience for him. To him, she was polar opposite to his wife in personality and demeanor and yet he found himself understanding her in a way that no one else did, and with no exchange of words involved.
He was probably thrilled by this facet of his own personality that Nandini was bringing to the fore and the gratitude in her eyes was probably giving him a high, a rare kind of happiness. (Crudely put, an ego booster?) Something that he may not have experienced much with Mauli. Mauli is a confident go-getter, that is not to say that she did not need Kunal emotionally. She did ! She fought her own battles during the day, but when she came home she needed him. She needed that constant reassurance and support from him.
We have seen Mauli worrying about not being able to do little things for him. And she tries to compensate for it by doing the more bigger, tangible and practical things for him. Kunal was always appreciatve of all that and was quick to reassure her whenever he sensed Mauli was feeling guilty of not being able to do enough for him. But maybe, just maybe, he would have appreciated the smaller things more. And Nandini probably made him realize this.
If I have to romanticize this a bit , I would say that Mauli wants to conquer the world for him, while Nandini wants to surrender her world to him. For Mauli, Kunal is the best husband in the world, but for Nandini, Kunal is her world. And I have to give credit to Dhrashti here. Though I'm not a fan of her dialogue delivery, (too scripted and too daily soapish for my taste at times), her extremely expressive eyes more than make up for it. The makers could pull off this silent communication thing between them, primarily due to Dhrashti's eyes. A combination of gratitude+you are my world emotion reflecting in her eyes is what Kunal is high on (not kheer induced - sorry 😃)
This coupled with an intense physical attraction (controversial rain dance *ahem ahem*😉) is probably what threw him off course.
Ideally, I would have wanted this silent communication to make way for more meaningful conversations, and paralelley, Nandini undergoing counselling, building her self-confidence and rediscovering herself, before he falls for her so irrevocably. Because the guy really doesn't know much about her. I am sure there is more to Nandini that just cooking and dancing and dressing up, which the makers have highlighted in a way that does not really impress me. But thats all water under the bridge now, and we have a much in love Kunal to deal with now.
I am not going into the whole realization phase, as this is just an attempt to get some insight and logic into what it is that made him fall for Nandini in the first place, when he already has a loving wife and a happy marriage.
Now, having said all of this, which I now realize may come across as glossy, the practical woman in me that, honestly, identifies more with Mauli's character, want to really scoff at it. Because, crudely put, it is just Kunal realizing that he was not really a man of modern times as he was conditioned to believe and would prefer a shy, demure and homely woman who would make him the center of her universe.
But at the same time I can't crucify him for it (for cheating - yes) because that is what makes him happy and Nandini is willingly doing all of this, without him asking for it. Because if he was, then his marriage with Mauli would not have survived. He is not an oppressor like Rajdeep, he is simply choosing what makes him happy. It does not make him a bad man, just a rather unimpressive man, and by extension, it makes this story a rather unimpressive one.
Please feel free to share your thoughts and comments. However, please refrain from using abusive language.
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
