Kunal's Story - Page 2

Originally posted by: _charu_

Super like the post..none of the three characters are.perfect and nobody is perfect . If kunal is looking for certain qualities in nandini, nandini won't have qualities like mauli so he will miss them too . For now , I don't think kunal deserves any kind of understanding . He and nandini ..adjectives will fall short for them ..I can't think of any reasoning right now ..whatever may he the problem between them, mauli did nothing yo deserve this betrayal ..

I never understood what kind of love people crave for ..I have seen cases where people are cheating their partners/ divorcing in love marriage / break ups..."Being in love" phase is all about fantasies and seeing nothing wrong in the other person and max times they don't know what they want ..end result is heartbreak ..Real love is when two people share a life and are able to do so with all the speed breakers that come their way..I am in love is not a reason to celebrate ,it does gives you a momentary high ..with time if it fades off, Kya love ?

And for me, kunal and nandinis bad karma will start affecting them from this moment . Their bad karma is the collateral damage caused to others and their guilt . Where is the humanity in humans ?

Originally posted by: mango_pudding1

if anyone is curious to read the thread and pamk06 response that summerrain7 is referring to:

https://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=5022574&TPN=5

(page 5, just go down -- also the discussions have been very entertaining; so check out from page 1 if you haven't already...)

sorry for cutting your post short but I just wanted to respond to the part in bold --

and your whole post was well thought and written. :)

in today's times, there are so many restrictions on how some things are not fashionable. for example, even at work, a woman expressing that she wants to get married and have a family is seen as a negative. either it is because she is seen as a liability or as not a modern woman.

I wish I was making this up but in an interview, a man had the nerve to tell me that women should not be hired because all they do is get married, then get pregnant and then take off after getting maternity leave. why? because I had dared to ask beyond what he was offering. I was too stunned to even respond. I also can't tell you in how many interviews and HRs calling, they ask "are you married? why not? are your parents looking?" -- how is this even related to a job? how can they ask? if I do want to get married, why would they look down on me in a job setting?

but it is like that. kunal may have wanted a more demure and traditional wife but how is that wrong? no offense to the character of mouli but she would be splendid with a non-traditional independent personality who has zero interest in the details and would prefer someone bossy who does things for him so that he can just concentrate on his aspiration like being a wildlife photographer. but back to kunal, like you said, he may convinced himself he was happy but in the still of the night, there may have been a bit of doubt.

we all have different needs and often we ourselves may not be aware of them or we may not be aware of how important this need till a situation arises. for example if truth and honesty is a big thing for you, even a small act of disrepute can be unbearable even if others think that is perfectly acceptable. had this alliance where the guy lied about his qualifications. he added himself a master's degree. the guy as well as the marriage bureau thought it was a perfectly acceptable white lie. all of us in our family disagreed because we felt it was a lack of honour. now are we being too dogmatic? too strict after all this is life? for us, it wasn't tolerable and no amount of anyone saying it was okay would make it so.

similarly, for many men as well as women, a demure and cooking wife who makes him the centre of the universe may seem like regressive but for some men, they want someone who can express their protective instinct to. whether or not we agree, that does seem to be need rather than an attitude for some.

Originally posted by: pamk06

First of all, thank you and I do not think it is an unimpressive post at all. I think it a very thought-out write-up and gives a totally new perspective to Kunal personality.

What caught my attention was this above paragraph and thus wanted to give my perspective on this whole "Couple time"

disclaimer: am only watching this show for the train wreck factor and am not on any team. neither nandini, mouli or kunal. Taken from @mango_pudding with her permission

Some years back, I read or saw somewhere a story about this housewife. Everyday from morning to evening, she used to spend time taking care of her family, house, cooking meals thus ensuring all her family members have a comfortable and happy life. She was doing all that work everyday with no expectation but just a tiny hope, that in the evening, the husband will come, talk to her, share opinions and most importantly appreciate her efforts. This never happened, because the husband would come home tired, watch news, eat food and sleep and the same story would repeat. She would wait and wair and with each passing day, her smile would diminish a little. To an outsider, theirs was a perfect happy marriage but was it really? If given a choice between the big house vs the few minutes of your husbands time everyday, what would you choose?

Coming back to Kunal and Mauli relationship, all we saw Kunal asking Mauli was a "couple time", but every time she had to leave for an emergency. Being a modern husband and doctor at that, he understood the pressure on her time and he compromised. But when the same things happens again and again, wouldn't a person be miffed and feel unwanted as if the work is been given priority. Wouldn't this have created a small crack somewhere in that happy facade?

Let come to the saree. Its his dear wish to see hear in saree. He is not asking her to wear it everyday but once on special occasions. I know the "saree" word screams traditional so let put its as a small wish. So, if your husband wishes you to do something,once in a while, will you not do it? Or being a modern husband does not allow you to wish anything from your wife? Same goes for the wife, if she wishes to see her husband in Blue Shirt (sorry i could not think about anything else), will he not wear it or will he refuse? And if he keep refusing, will it not hurt you a teensy weensy bit?

Moving on, we see Kunal fulfilling all her wishes, especially related to Nandini be it not asking for her name (he used to call her anamika), not speaking about her, and later driving to her house in the middle of the night to ensure that she is safe or taking Nandini for all her different appointment. He does them with no objection and all he asks in return is their "Me time". But does he ever get it ? So looking at it only from Kunal perspective, in this "give and take" relationship that marriage is, he is the giver and she is the taker. Don't you think all this might have irked him a little bit at that subconscious level just before he must be going to sleep as you mentioned along with all her "Par Jaana's 😊" of the day.(Yes they are cute)

Yes, I know Mauli is building the clinic for him by sacrificing their Saturday time, but does he know it and did he really ask for it. Mauli knows she is not able to give the required time to their relationship and hence being a very practical person that she is , she is compensating it with practical things not realizing that Kunal would have chosen her any day of the time. This here is the major difference in their thinking. If he had a choice between the Saturday time with Mauli and the clinic, what would he have chosen? Also, thus, does wishing for "Me time" make him a bad traditional person or just a human being with emotional needs.

And, yes, men do have emotional needs, much more than women. In my social circles, I have lost count of how many times I have heard that "my husband is like my child, he needs more pampering than my kid". And this is a very true and a common statement. The reason for this is, from a very young age they are conditioned that way because mother and especially Indian mothers spoil their kids rotten. Thus from a very young age most men have this immense need to be taken care of at home. Does that make them less manly, unimpressive, traditional or just men.

Looking at Kunal, he knows his wife is insecure in the kitchen/looks and she does not like to wear saree. Thus he has always strived to make her comfortable, quick to come to her defense when needed thus making him a very understanding husband. All he asked was a compromise from her for his wish to see her in saree once in every blue moon and little time with her. May be in his mind, that time was his appreciation, the pampering that he craved and who does not like that. All of us strive hard for that appreciation be it from our parents, in laws, husband or boss. One small ounce of appreciation can bring a smile to our face and turn a bad day into a good day. Does having this need make him a traditional husband?

I know what I described above are very small things but they say right, every drop makes an ocean. I am not defending Kunal here nor criticizing Mauli but all I am trying to say is that Marriage is that one bond which requires constant nurturing and with every can of water missed, the chance of it drying increases. Even without Nandini, one day Kunal would have realized that he is compromising and though he has satisfactory life, he is not fully happy.

PS: My story at the start of this write-up is incomplete but the post became too long and this is Kunal's story, so I did not want to digress.

Thank you!! 😃

Amazing post!! It opened a little door inside my head and I find myself agreeing with you from a discussion point of view. That house wife story was spot on and I believe I have read and watched shows based on the same theme. The fault in my perception was that, I was looking for the bigger problems, and when I couldn't find them, I attributed it to Kunal's failure to put a finger on what it was that was making him unhappy, and Nandini making him realize that, resulting in him changing his perception. But yes, it could have been those little things that over a period of time must have become big enough to create unseen cracks

I wish the makers would have given us such moments or scenes where Kunal is actually shown going through all of this. And atleast a few attempts from him to have an open dialogue with Mauli on this. Now, when Kunal gets to know about the clinic, we may get to hear him say a few things along these lines, but how genuine will it sound now? Or he may go on a guilt trip thinking Mauli is doing so much for him and what is he doing to her.

And I am so very unable to overlook this deliberate juxtaposition of modern indian woman with the stereotypical Indian woman and the man ultimately falling for the stereotypical woman. Again, I don't know if I am being unfair in calling Nandini a stereotypical Indian woman. But its very hard to ignore this and it continues to irk me.

Originally posted by: pamk06

Hmm.. I so wish to see that self talk of this. Now that Mauli has sprung the preganancy on him, its high time we see his side. With clinic, as you said, it might go either way.

@bold: You see it modern vs traditional, i see it practical vs emotional.

Nandini, though, she looks traditional in her attire, still is a very strong emotional woman. Its not easy to lose your child, come out of your abusive marriage and then have the strength to stay alone ,fight the fear of the abuser and then he himself.

May be another POV would be that, just because you wear a saree, doesnt mean you cannot stand on your own feet, fight your own battles and be the women of the world. Do you really need to be modern in your attire to do that?

Kunal is an emotional person, hence in an huff of emotions he quit his job. May be his attraction to Nandini was this emotions. He was literally part of her whole journey right from begining, where she was surviving through Rajdeep abuse, losing her child, to today where she was alone fighting for her dignity. A broken stem to the beautiful tree. Who wouldnt admire that and be attracted to it?

Mauli, I feel though practical and modern in her attire is not very emotionally strong person. Till now, at least I have seen that she needs that constant reassurance and is very dependent on Kunal. Give her a practical scenario and she will ace it but not an emotional one. Even when she was fighting with Rajdeep for Dida, she used all practical means like CCTV camera, police etc.

She doesn't understand emotions or may be because those make her weak, she avoids them. Like today, her best friend went through this terrible ordeal but instead of choosing to stay with her in her house to support her, she left with her husband. Was that lack of emotions, not understanding them or being practical and respecting your friends wishes. I dont know, and I cannot guess but may be when the truth comes out we will get more insight in her character.

We are so tuned to see and think that modern mean strong and traditional mean meek but may be the CV's are showing us a different picture.

Also, just so you know, I used to be so miffed that every time, in those saas bahu dramas, they used to show the traditional woman as sanskari ideal woman who cannot make mistakes and the modern woman the evil one that seeing the sanskari one doing mistakes is a such a welcome change 😆

Originally posted by: SummerRain7

Hi. I understand what you're trying to say. As I mentioned in the post, this "conquering/surrendering the world" is just flowery language. When translated into practical reality, it just means someone who will prioritize him over other things in their life, in the way he wants it.

This deliberate contrast in the personalities of Nandini and Mauli, can't be for nothing, with Mauli herself, mentioning again and again about how Kunal would have liked Nandini's personality better. But the sudden rushing of the track made everything appear disjointed.

So, from whatever little they have given us, I am just trying to understand where those feelings came from This is not an attempt to justify his feelings, but they certainly have a base and it does not look like lust to me. It could be an infatuation that may not last long. But looking at all the divine elements, that the makers have thrown in generously, they are hinting at a forever kinda love. [b]All those practical realities that you mentioned are for real life people 😃 For a fictional soap couple, anything is possible.[\b]