Part 2
Aastha was sitting with her bank passbook, insurance documents and a calculator. She was adding up all the savings she had. Not satisfied, she entered the numbers once again. They were still not what she expected. In her frustration, she threw the calculator away.
Her father came and asked, “What did the lawyer say?”
“He said that in order to get Shaurya’s custody, I will have to take divorce from Shaan first. It is going to be a costly affair. His fee for a single hearing is equal to my two months’ salary.” Aastha said, letting out a sigh.
“Doesn’t matter. We can mortgage this house if required.” Her bauji offered.
“No Bauji, you spent your life’s earnings building this house. I cannot mortgage it. I will never be able to pay back the mortgage amount in the stipulated time. Then where shall we live?”
“You are my biggest earning. It doesn’t matter if the house stays or goes. I cannot see you like this. You don’t show it but I know how you cry all night for your son. Your swollen eyes in the morning reveal everything to us.”
Aastha held her father’s hand and pressed it tightly. Her strength was giving away. She desperately needed something to hold on to. Her parents were the only thing that kept her going.
That evening she dialled up the Sabharwals’ number. She knew if Devi, Tej or Alok picked up, she would be insulted brutally but she still called with the little hope that perhaps Gayatri or Shaan would pick it up and she might get to know about Shaurya and even get a chance to hear his voice.
“Hello, who is it?” It was Devi’s voice.
Aastha didn’t say anything. Devi figured it was her, then said, “Have we not asked you not to call here? Listen, We have severed all ties with you the moment you walked out of this house. No one here has anything to do with you.”
“Please don’t put down the call. Let me talk to my son just once.” Aastha pleaded.
“Shaurya is not your son. How many times do we have to tell you that? The woman who abandons her child has no rights on him.”
Aastha took a deep breath, straightened herself up and said, “You snatched away my child from me and I am going to get him back. Shaurya cannot live without me. I have talked to the lawyer. You will get the divorce and custody notice together.”
Devi laughed aloud, “What kind of a fool’s paradise are you living in, Aastha Kashyap? Do you think you stand a chance at winning a case against us? Tej will appoint the best lawyer in town. We will see to it that you lose everything with this case, not just Shaurya but your name, your reputation, your job, your money, everything.”
“I don’t care. I will not stop till I see the end of it.” Aastha said and put down the call.
Aastha was sitting in one corner of the bench, waiting for the officer in-charge to arrive. She looked at her watch. She has been in the police station for close to three hours now. They were not ready to take her complaint and asked her to wait for the OC. It was getting dark. Beeji-Bauji must be waiting for her. She hoped Beeji had put Golu to sleep. If she didn’t leave within an hour, she would miss the last train to Kapurthala and have to spend the night in Chandigarh. It was the end of the month. Her salary was almost exhausted in medical bills and repeated trips to Chandigarh. She could not think of staying at a hotel. She had stayed at her friend’s place so many times before this that they would not welcome her anymore. The second class waiting room at the railway station was the only shelter she could have for tonight.
Another fifteen minutes later, a man in uniform entered and everyone stood up in attention. She realised it was the officer in charge and went to talk to him. Suddenly a constable shouted, “Excuse me Madam, Sir has just been back from rounds. It is time for him to freshen up. Please wait another half an hour.”
“But I have a train to catch.”
“Do you think the police station is a place where you can come at your convenience? You expect us to work at your whims and fancies. Just sit down quietly and wait or leave right away.
After another half an hour, Aastha was called inside.
“Yes, tell me what is the matter?” Said the officer, stretching himself on the chair.
“I am Aastha Sabharwal. My in-laws are not allowing me to meet my child. If you could come with me and ask them to allow me to take my child with me.”
“You came at this hour to make me help you to settle a family quarrel. Please Madam, Go back home and solve it amicably among yourselves.”
“You are not understanding. They have thrown me out of the house and snatched my child. I have tried to talk to them a number of times. I stand outside their gates for hours, yet they don’t let me in. I have tried calling on their phone and begged them to let me talk to my son once, but they insulted me and put it down. Even today I have waited outside their gate from 8 o’clock in the morning till 5 o’clock in the evening just to catch one glimpse of my boy, but to no avail.” Aastha was trembling as she narrated her ordeal.
“Ok, calm down and have a seat. Give me the number of your in-laws. I will talk to them.” The OC said.
Aastha wrote it down in a piece of paper.
“What? Mr. Tej Sabharwal. You want me to lodge a complaint against one of the most respected citizens of the city. Are you out of your senses?”
“Please officer. Try and understand. I am not lying. I am perfectly in my senses. They took my child away from me.” Aastha was on the verge of crying.
The officer examined her from top to bottom. His glance creeped her out. Then he said, “You know if your allegations are proved baseless somehow, my career will be on the line. If I have to take such a big risk, I would expect something in return.”
Aastha looked at him curiously. Was he asking for a bribe? Seeing her clueless appearance, he cleared his intentions, “There is a hotel nearby, how about we spend the night together?”
Aastha’s whole body recoiled in disgust. She turned around and ran away from there. Immediately after getting out of the police station, she bent over and threw up. Out of exhaustion, she fell on her knees and sat there motionless for she didn't know how long. Suddenly a few drops of rain fell on her and awakened her senses. She pulled herself up with great effort and started walking as it began pouring heavily.
The next day, she got an unexpected call from Tej. “How dare you go to the police station to lodge a complaint about me? You think you can defame Tej Sabharwal. The OC informed me about it. We have told him that she is a mad woman and if she tries to come there again, take her to a mental asylum.”
Aastha could not believe her ears. She kept quiet as Tej continued, “What kind of a mother are you? You shameless, immoral woman. First you leave your child and then try to press false allegations against the people who are raising him.”
“I did not press any allegations. I was telling the truth. You cannot stop me. I will get my child back. You can bribe one inspector, but not everyone. The law will be on my side.”
“You have no idea of my power. You want to take on the Sabharwals in the court. How will you pay the lawyer’s fee with the peanuts you get as salary?”
“You need not worry about that. I will go to any lengths for my son.”
“And I will not let even your shadow fall on him. Do you get that? If you try to take Shaurya from us, I will make you and your parents’ life hell. You must not forget that your bachelor’s and master’s degree are from our institute. If I send a letter to the education ministry that your degree is fake, do you know what will happen? You will not only lose this job, you won’t get a job anywhere in this country. Then how are you going to feed your poor parents?”
Aastha could not take it any longer. She put down the receiver. How could they stoop so low? She was scared. She went to her parents’ room. They were sleeping peacefully. She has already mortgaged the house. If she lost this job, they would be brought on the streets. They were her responsibility. How could she let them suffer? But Shaurya was her responsibility too. She could not forget that. Who knows if he is being taken care of properly in that house. Was Shaan looking after their son? No, she could not give up so easily. She will have to fight.
She went inside her room and sat there contemplating her situation. She did not know how much time had passed when there was a knock on the door. She opened it and found her mother standing there with worry written all over her face.
“Your bauji is having severe pain in his chest and he is finding it difficult to breathe.”
Aastha ran to her father. He has fallen on his side. His whole body was covered in sweat. She did not lose a minute and called the doctor.
Her father needed a bypass surgery. All the money that she had saved for the court case was spent in his treatment. She also had to borrow a good amount from her friends and some from her provident fund. For the next few months, it would be difficult to make the two ends meet.
Another year went by. In between she had made repeated attempts to meet Shaurya and failed every time. She couldn’t even contact Shaan. Whenever she called at the Sabharwal house, either Devi or Alok picked up the call and insulted her badly. Sometimes Gayatri secretly called her up to inform about Shaurya.
She could not concentrate on anything. All the time she thought about her son. So much so that she had started hallucinating. She could hear his voice at the breakfast table, asking her to make his favourite sandwich. She could see him among the neighbourhood kids who played cricket in the bylanes. At night, as soon as she closed her eyes, she could hear his cries, asking her to not leave him. An excruciating pain ran through her body. She wanted to hold her son, to tell him that everything was going to be fine, but there was no way to do that. Her helplessness would eat her away. She hugged herself tightly as if she was hugging Shaurya and tried to get rid of the awful agony that gripped her.
Her performance in the workplace was suffering. She had exhausted all her leaves and she was unable to finish the syllabus on time. The principal had threatened to give her a negative assessment that year. She tried to focus on her work but her mind meandered off, to the family she had left behind in Chandigarh. The man for whom she had sacrificed her ambitions and the child who meant the world to her.
Aastha was in the lawyer’s office. She extended an envelope towards the lawyer and said, “here is your consultation fee. When can you prepare the petition?”
“That is not a matter of concern, but Mrs. Sabharwal. It will be done in a matter of days. By the way, is there a chance you apply for joint custody?”
Aastha shook her head, “They don’t even allow me to catch a glimpse of my child. They will never agree to let me keep Shaurya for a day, forget about joint custody. And Shaan will do what his brother says.”
“In that case, this custody case is going to be tricky. We are up against very powerful people so we have to meticulously plan our case. Although going by his tender years, you have the first rights on his custody as the mother, but they will come up with strong arguments to prove you are not fit to take care of him.”
“Can you please elaborate what you are trying to say?” Aastha asked.
“Look, their first argument will be that your income is far less than that of the boy’s father. In addition you have to bear all the expenses of your parents. You will not be able to provide all the comforts and opportunities that he will get there. Plus as a working woman, you will not be able to give him enough time and your parents are also old and incapable of taking care of a young child. Whereas Mr. Shaan lives in a joint family where someone will always be there to give him attention. We can come up with counter arguments for all of these but if they attack your character or try to prove that you are not mentally fit…”
Aastha remembered Tej’s words. She knew that Sabharwals were capable of anything.
“What is the way out for us?”
“Does Mr. Shaan have any mental condition? If not, we will have to cook up some story saying he is not a man of good character and involved in a number of extra marital affairs. Don’t worry, I will find witnesses to solidify our story. Leave that to me.”
Aastha objected vehemently, “No way. I cannot put false allegations on Shaan. I cannot think of defaming him, not even if my life depended on it. Is there no other way?”
“Then you will have to work on Shaurya. You will have to convince him to speak in your favour when the judge asks.”
“You mean Shaurya will be called to the court?”
“Yes, that is almost inevitable given the complicacy of the case. So you will have to talk to him and manipulate him in a way that he chooses you.”
“You are telling Shaurya will be called to the court and asked to choose one of his parents. Do you know what you are saying? Don’t you understand how much of a pressure that will be for the little boy. He is already so broken and now if he will be put through cross examination by a judge he will not be able to take it. I cannot even imagine him going through it. It will take a severe toll on his mind.”
“Then I am sorry Mrs Sabharwal, you will have to let go of your child’s custody.”
Aastha quietly walked out of the lawyer’s chamber. She was completely lost. She could never put Shaurya through a gruelling cross questioning in the court. She would not be able to see him in such a confused traumatised state. What should she do next? All the hope of getting her child seemed to be slipping out of her fingers.
Aastha knew the doors to Sabharwal house were closed on her forever, but she was becoming desperate to see her child.
“Excuse me, may I come in?” Aastha asked standing at the door of the school principal’s office.
“Yes please”, said the lady.
“I am Aastha Sabharwal, mother of Shaurya Sabharwal. Can you call him once?”
The lady gave her a confused look. Then said, “If you don’t mind, can you please wait outside for a few minutes? His classes are going on. We will call you as soon as they are over.”
Aastha went outside and sat on a bench. She could hear the chirping of the students. She ran her gaze around and wondered which way Shaurya’s class might be.
About half an hour had passed. She was getting restless. She looked at her watch to see the time.
“So you have come here too. Don’t you have any shame?”
Devi’s voice startled her. She got up. “What are you doing here?”
“It is a good thing the principal informed me. Otherwise I don’t know what would have happened today.” Devi said.
Aastha saw the principal coming out of her office. The lady said, “You had asked me to inform you if a person by this name ever tries to visit Shaurya. I just did my duty.”
“Thank you so much Madam. This woman is mentally unstable. Shaurya is scared of her. He doesn’t want to see her face. That is why we keep her away from…”
Aastha interrupted her loudly, “You are lying. Why will he be scared to see me? He is my son.”
“Is it? Then why does he get so disturbed even hearing your name?” Devi asked. Then she turned towards the principal and said, “If you have any doubts, please go and ask Shaurya if he wants to meet his Aastha Mom.”
The principal called one of the teachers and asked her to do what Devi said. The teacher returned soon and said, “Shaurya started behaving very weirdly as soon as I mentioned Aastha. He started throwing things around and then he hid himself under the desk.”
“See, didn’t I tell you so?” Devi said, with an air of getting vindicated.
“He is just angry. If I go and hug him he will forget everything. Please believe me. Just let me meet just once.” Aastha pleaded.
“You claim to be his mother and still want to make him suffer just so that you can see him. Don’t you understand that he gets disturbed even hearing your name?” Devi said.
“No, that is not true. I will go and meet him. He is my child. None of you can stop me.” Saying this Aastha started running in the direction in which the teacher had gone earlier.
She was halfway through the corridor when suddenly she felt two powerful hands restrain her. Two guards started dragging her towards the exit. She could hear Devi’s voice, “Didn’t I tell you, she is insane.”
The guards threw her outside the gate. The force of the throw made her lose balance and her head hit a boulder placed on the roadside. She winced in pain. As she struggled to get on her feet, Devi arrived there.
“I am really sorry Aastha. I had no intention to lie about you but what can I do. You keep provoking us to do things against our conscience. What do you want Aastha? Will you not let your child have a moment of peace? Have you ever thought if he saw you being dragged across the corridor like that, how it would embarrass him before his friends? Look, all I want is to see my child happy. If I felt that seeing you would make him happy then I would never stop you from meeting him. But that is not the case. When you left, I had adopted him as my own son. I give him all the love and attention a child could ask for. He is happy. Only when someone mentions your name, he gets upset and becomes aggressive.”
“I don’t believe a word of what you said. My son loves me. I know it.”
“If you don’t believe me, you can ask Gayatri or Shaan. They will tell you the same thing. What is more important for you? Having Shaurya to yourself or him having a stable, happy life. He is slowly recovering from the scars that you gave him. If you try to meet him, his wounds will open up and hurt him. Wouldn’t it be better if you quietly go away from his life and let him heal peacefully.”
Getting no answer from Aastha, Devi got inside her car and left.
Aastha started walking unsteadily. She had no idea what had suddenly got into her and why she behaved that way. She was never one to lose control. She felt as if she had lost the power to think clearly. She didn’t know how she reached Kapurthala that day. As she neared the gates, the watchman called out.
“Madam, what are you doing here at this time? The classes have gotten over a long time back. No one is here now. Aastha realised she had reached her college instead of her house. She turned around to thank the watchman, but suddenly a curtain of darkness fell before her eyes.
“Aastha beta please say something. It has been two days since you returned from Chandigarh and you haven’t spoken a word. Neither have you eaten anything. Do you know how scared I was when they brought you home in an unconscious state. The doctor said you had a concussion. How did you hurt your head? What were you doing outside the college gates at 7 in the evening? Please Aastha, You are scaring me now.” Her mother began shaking her vigorously to make her come back to senses.
Aastha looked at her mother. Then she spoke slowly, “I have lost my son Beeji. He hates me, he doesn’t want to see my face.”
“Look Aastha, I am sure there has been some misunderstanding.”
“No Beeji. I have talked to Gayatri also. She told me how Shaurya loses his control whenever anyone tries to speak to him about me.”
“Do one thing. Just leave everything and go back to your in-laws. Ask them to take you back. Fall at their feet if required. Tell them you are ready to leave your job. Don’t worry about us, we can live on whatever money your brother in law gives us. We just want you to be happy. Once you go back, Shaurya will get your love and forget all his anger and hatred. We cannot see you in this condition. I have lost one child. Your father is sick. If anything were to happen to you, what will I live with?”
“If I leave you and go back, I will fall in my own eyes forever. My guilt will neither allow me to become a good mother nor a good wife. Don’t worry, Shaurya will be fine. They are his own people. Everyone loves him in that house. All his demands are fulfilled. He has his father. He is a remarkable boy, Gayatri tells me. He excels in studies as well as sports. He will not need me anymore. He is going to be fine. He is going to be fine.” Aastha placed her head on her mother’s lap and kept repeating the last sentence. More to assure herself than her mother.
The next morning her parents were surprised to see a beaming Aastha wishing them good morning. She was looking completely fresh and a new person altogether.
“Are you feeling better dear?” Her father asked.
“Yes Dad, I am feeling great. I have to. I cannot let things which are not under my control affect my other responsibilities. I cannot afford to lose my balance so easily.”
Aastha then looked at Shaurya’s picture and said in her mind, “I know I am a bad mother. If my presence gives you pain then I will stay away from you. Perhaps you will never understand why I had to leave you. That is alright. One thing I promise to you today. I am not going to let the people who separated you from me get away so easily. I will demolish their castle of fake pride. No matter how many years it takes.
