I am sad that my favorite show is ending in an unexpected time. I am angry that they left many things untouched and left Dhamini-Shani dynamic undeveloped. So here is my final fanfic for this fandom.
You mattered the most
She found him standing in the balcony outside their bedchamber. He was staring intensely at the valley below, creating a small crescent before joining the lake surrounding the castle. His fingers were wrapped around his dand, and Dhamini could tell he was thinking about something else rather than enjoying the beautiful scenario of Suryalok.
Dhamini hesitated before walking beside her husband, inspecting his face for that her presence was unwelcome. When his expressions remained blank, she relaxed in her place and continued to observe him quietly.
He was back in his blue attire- the Karmafaldata avatar, as he claimed himself. She had never seen him in this avatar before, and she could tell he looked more handsome in blue. While black complemented his dark complexion and detached attitude, blue made him glow brighter. The dand in his hand not only made him to appear more powerful, but also channeled his energy for the betterment of mankind. The more she saw her husband, Dhamini realized the more she fell in love with him.
She fell in love with him when he first looked at her in the Surya court; she fell for him once again when he baited his own life to save her from Ravan.
And finally Ravan was defeated. Both of them were safely back at home.
After several minutes, during which time Shani made no move to acknowledge her, Dhamini finally gathered the courage to break the excruciating silence. "Shani, what are you thinking about?"
She watched him closely for any reaction, but he continued wrapping his fingers of his right hand tightly around his dand. "Accepting my Karmfaldata postion, has helped us to defeat Ravan for a while. He shook his head impatiently, without looking at her, "But his son will be born soon. He was conceived when we were kept imprisoned in the 12 house of his birth chart. Ravan will rise again.
"I know. Dhamini nodded, remembering her final words with Queen Mondodari before leaving Lanka. She apologized for her husband's treachery. "But I hope that will be the beginning of his fall. Then she raised her eyes to look at her husband, "But you saved the universe from being destroyed, Shani. And we all are saved. Suryadev and Mata are so proud of you. Yam has finally accepted you as his brother. The tridevs has blessed you...
"And you, Dhamini? What do you expect?" he interrupted, his voice so soft that she must lean towards him in order to hear it.
She took a moment to decide how best to respond. One half of her heart wanted to lie. It wished to tell him that of course she was happy that he regained his position as Karmafaldata again, sparing him the pain that she knows he would feel upon hearing her honest answer.
By accepting his post as Karmafaldata would make him more detached than he already was. He had to priortize his duty before his wife. Though they were married, but he would never be hers, ever.
The other half, the selfish part of hers, still wanted him to be hers only. They had been through too much together for her to be dishonest now. Besides, he would know if she were lying. He always knew.
But she wanted him to be happy; she wanted him to regain his lost pride. She knew how much he loved his duty. She saw that in his eyes when he finally wielded his dand again. She had never seen him so happy before.
So she accepted her fate, for him, for the betterment of the bigger world outside.
"I am happy that my curse ended with you accepting your position again.
"Dhamini," Shani said, and she could almost detect a layer of hurt buried within the indignant tone of his voice. He finally, finally, turned to look at her, his intense brown eyes meeting her dark ones, and Dhamini fought the urge to look away. The raw emotion she sees in his eyes is almost too much to bear. "Is it the truth, Dhamini?"
He knew, Dhamini realized. He knew everything.
Once I told you that I can never feel love for you, but can you answer why do I feel so much torn choosing between you and my duty?
"I don't know I just..." Now, she was the one staring down at her hands, twisting nervously as she struggles to explain herself under his searching gaze. "But, I know how horrible it felt when something you love is taken away from you. I am happy that you finally able to do what you really love to do."
Memories of her meeting with Bhadra flashed in her mind, and she recalled the stunning pain she felt as he told her he was greateful to her for finally reconnecting his family. She remembered his tears when Bhadra told him her final wish. She wanted him to be happy.
And she was ready to do anything to make him happy. She silently scolded herself for the selfish thoughts crossed her mind. And finally she stared back into her husband's eyes, "Yes, I am happy, Shani. It is the truth and nothing else.
Shani did not speak for several minutes. Dhamini took this as her cue to leave and was about to move towards the door of their bedchamber, when his answer halted her movements. "I used to believe that being detached is the best way to do judge a person's karma. Now I find that my thoughts were not completely right."
"I am ready to anything to make you happy, Shani. You can always have me. " Dhamini walked closer to him and grabbed his free hand before she realized what she is doing. She registered the look of surprise on his face and wondered if she just ruined the moment, this rare glimpse into the heart of Karmafaldata Shani. She gasped and moved to pull her hand away when he turned his around and clasped her small fingers tightly between his much larger ones. Their eyes locked once more as they stared at each other, breathing quietly into the cool night air.
Shani waited as he contemplates her words until his mouth curves into a small half-smile.
"You always mean that, don't you?" He looked at her with astonishment, and maybe a hint of awe, as if he had just now realized how unique his wife was.
"Of course, I do. I will always support you, whatever you do. I trust you."
"We'll always have each other," he amended, his voice soft, his gaze burning with a low fire, " Being detached doesn't always help one to make better judgment. Sometimes a few attachments are needed to go deeper in someone's mind, to understand the motive behind his karma, before judging his deeds.
Her smile mirrored his as her mind processed his words. His eyes traveled down from hers and focused on her mouth. He let go his dand, and it vanished in the air. His right hand reached up to cup her cheek. He leaned towards her, and Dhamini unconsciously echoed his action.
Abruptly, the moment was lost as the door behind them swung open, making them quickly part and blinked up at the smiling image of Hanuman.
"What are you two doing out here? It's freezing, and we're about to have the final celebration! Even Indradev is there." he bellowed happily, his joy at finally remembering their lost friendship. The moment had finally come when the curse ended, and the world rejoiced the news of the birth of Lord Rama, his cherished deity, the destroyer of Ravan, upholder of Dharma.
Hanuman looked between them curiously, and Dhamini was suddenly acutely aware of her hand still intertwined with Shani's. She silently thanked Mahadev that the area surrounding them was still dark enough to cover her blush.
Shani quickly smiled and hugged his friend. "I am glad that everyone is finally joining the celebration forgetting the enmity. We must remain united to defeat Ravan.
Hanuman nodded, worries crossing his face. "You mean...
"Yes, " Shani assured his friend, "But I will be with you then. Don't worry now. Just enjoy today's celebration. We will be there shortly.
Assured by his friend's words, Hanuman smiled broadly. "Yes. And I guess Mata has arranged a feast for us. He affectionately watched his friend taking his leave.
"You must be there, Shani. Dhamini told him. "After all two of you reunited after a long time.
"A little longer would not hurt. Shani whispered into her ear before placing a kiss on her cheek. Dhamini turned to look up at the man still holding her close to him and was surprised by the hint of playfulness in his voice. It was a rare occasion to see this playful side of her husband. And she did not want to waste this opportunity.
She recalled another night of them together, the night she cursed him, and momentarily thought that she much preferred this scenario.
"I still owe you our wedding night." Shani's voice brought her back to the present. "We did not have a peaceful night since our wedding. His grin only grew broader.
" I believe Shanidev never breaks his promise.." She beamed up at him playfully,
"Of course not. He laughed loudly before sweeping her off her feet and carried her inside their bedchamber.
To be continued...
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