From & To Sathish #5 - Page 89

Avan, Aval Adhu 291- Part 1

They sat in the clearing watching the sun rave and rant its mood in colors and watched its light turn from yellow, to red and then settle into a soft pink. She felt his body move and looked at him and saw him smiling to himself and asked him about it.

' Today's sunset suddenly reminded me of something that I saw today morning as I was walking through the fields.'

' Oh! Nice' and then seeing him fall silent, exclaimed, ' That's it.'

A smile, a shy sliver of emotion pranced on his lips and cheeks, ' Yes. For I don't want to dilute this moment with my thoughts.'

' Dilute. No, I am sure it will only add to this moment and strengthen it. So, please share your thoughts.'

' I saw a mother petting and lulling her infant to fall asleep. The baby knew fully well regardless of its wails and protests that it had nowhere else to go and that it would eventually fall asleep in its mother's lap continued its futile bawling and in the end, fell asleep. The sun's various colors as it settles down from our sight and departs from our part of the world plunging us into night and our own sleep reminded me of that child and its mother.'

Her eyes opened wide in understanding as his thoughts wafted into her and merged to become one and she said in a soft voice, ' Beautiful ' and taking his hand into hers, she whispered, ' Promise me that you will always share your thoughts with me without any inhibitions.'

' I promise, only if you promise that you will not laugh or make fun of me when I do so.'

' Ravi, with our setting sun and all that is sacred in my soul as our witnesses I promise that I will never make fun of you ' and returning her gaze to the setting sun, ' My Dada (grandpa) told me that our thoughts, creations, and expressions are the holy of all holies and that it is one of the reasons why we are here.'

She looked at him, ' Don't you sometimes wonder about all the people, the souls who came before us and whose voices and expressions were never heard or written down? Imagine songs, stories, and even experiences that must have been shared in forests and in caves by our ancestors and all of it which is lost or might never be discovered.'

Ravi nodded and then suddenly turned his face away from Madhu as if he did not want her to see his eyes.

She tugged at his shirt and said, ' Jaanu, more than anything else we are friends first and foremost. So, I want you to share with me not just your joy but your pain and sorrow.'

Ravi turned and Madhu gasped in shock and in pain seeing his eyes full of tears and whimpered in fright, ' what or who has done this to you? Did somebody scold you? Was it Meenkashi or was it her father who came in support of her sickness?'

It was Ravi's turn to gasp in shock and he quickly laid a finger on her lips and said, ' No, stop. It has nothing to do with my uncle or my cousin or anybody else. So, don't say anything harsh about them for I know that your words and curses will come true.'

Madhu looked at him with mock surprise and said, ' Are you calling me a Daayan?' ( Witch in Hindi)

' No, buddhu ' ( Fool ) Ravi said and pointed to the distant towers of the temple, ' I am calling you a goddess whose words are more powerful than even a witch.'

' If I am a goddess then you too are a God ' and suddenly blushed and turned her face away and mumbled something in Bengali mixed with Sanskrit.

Ravi smiled and complained sadly, ' Memsahib, Madam, Madhuji, If you want to curse me then please do it on my face for even your curses will be like blessings for me.'

Madhu turned and placing a finger on his lips, shook her head in panic and with eyes brimming with angst, ' Don't ever say that for I would rather die than say a bad word about you.'

Ravi grabbed her shoulders and said, ' Buddhu, I was just teasing you.'

' I know, but even when said in jest, those words and that too when spoken by you feel like nails being hammered into my heart.'

They looked at each other, old souls in young bodies feeling old love with new zest and experiencing it all over again.

They looked at each other's faces and their souls boring through their eyes fused with one another, and she saw his still damp eyes that lay like a thin, shining, and transparent film over his eyes, slowly wiped them and asked, ' What is hurting you? You have not been yourself since yesterday afternoon.'

' You are right, Madhu. I have not been myself from yesterday's history class.'

' Because of yesterday's topic concerning World war two and all the deaths?'

' Yes. But after the class, I went to the faculty room to talk to our History teacher Miss Indumati and our English teacher too happened to be there and..'

Madhu's eyes flared briefly like bolts of lightning in apprehension, ' I see. Were they rude to you?'

' No way. Are you forgetting that I am their favorite student? It was nothing like that and it was more about a book that our English teacher gave me to read and it is the life of a young girl during the war.'

Ravi slowly reached into his bag and brought out a book and gave it to Madhu who took it and lifted it up closer to her face, slowly caressed the photo on the cover of the book, and whispered, ' Jaanu, she looks so young. So pretty.'

' She was our age. A year older than us.'

Madhu used her fingers to gently trace the face of the girl on the cover and whispered, ' The diary of a young girl ' and looked up at Ravi and asked solemnly, ' She died in the war?'

' Yes. She was a jew and was captured by the nazis and died horribly due to starvation and typhus.'

Sighing loudly, Ravi's eyes blinked several times as the salt in his tears seemed to sting him but Madhu knew it was the pain of the poor girl's suffering that was hurting him.

' Such a sad story, Madhu. I stayed awake the whole night, reading it again and again. Then, I think at about 1.30 in the morning, my dad came to my room and asked me if everything was okay and that was a surprise for me. A total surprise.

Suddenly he began to giggle like a kid, and it was the first time Madhu had seen him do so and it was so infectious that she began to giggle along with him.

' Usually, it is my amma who comes calling and enquiring about me and my activities for she is the head while appa is the tail that follows everywhere. But, this time it was dad who popped in and I knew immediately that both of them were up to something and it was exactly what I had thought about.'

' OH! What were you thinking and what were they both up to anyway? Surely, your staying awake into the wee hours of the morning must not have come as a big surprise for them for I know how much reading you do. So what was it all about?'

Ravi smiled and replied, ' About us both, what else could it be?'

Madhu's face clouded with sadness, ' Meenakshi I suppose?'

Nodding his head, ' Obviously, Madhu. But, I explained to them very clearly that we were good friends and there was nothing to worry about.....'

' Good friends ' Madhu interjected in a doubtful voice and Ravi looked at her and said, ' I haven't finished with what I had to say.'

Madhu mumbled an apology and bent her head to cover her eyes from him but Ravi using his fingers raised her face by her chin and said, ' I also told my parents that I had found the woman who was going to be not only my best friend but the best and most beautiful of everything that a man would want in his life.'

Then he kissed her. She had kissed him. They kissed each other.

“A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.”

Avan, Aval Adhu 291- Part 2

“Ancient lovers believed a kiss would literally unite their souls because the spirit was said to be carried in one’s breath.”

Madhu gasped and shivered in ecstasy as her lips were covered by his and she moaned his name and throwing her arms around his neck kissed him with an urgency that felt like she was in full-blown panic mode to Ravi.

Moving just a few inches back from her face, he whispered, ' I am sorry. I think I have scared you. I should have waited for you to rather than ...?'

' No, I am not scared, and no, the timing was just perfect.'

' Then why did I sense a kind of panic and fear in your body when I kissed you?'

She looked at him with a " are you seriously asking me this question " kind of expression and asked ' Okay, why were you trembling when you kissed me?'

' Trembling. Me ' and looking at her shyly, ' I am sorry but I guess I did not notice anything else because the pleasure of kissing you was so beautiful and so intense.'

She reached out and gently touched his lips, whispered, ' please, can you kiss me again.'

Kissing when you are deeply in love and with your hearts full of desire for each other is an act that can bless the kissers with pleasure and a state of nirvana that is known only to them.

Holding his face close to her, ' Jaanu, you said you sensed panic and fear and you are right but it was for the right reasons and it is an old reason.'

She looked at the setting sun, ' Many years ago, when I was maybe 8 or 9, my late Dada asked me why I was so obsessed with the sun and I told him that it was the only light and the only true light in our world and that it was the eye and the soul that saw everything and missed nothing. He smiled, and closing his eyes, said something that was strange to even me and then placing his right hand on my head blessed me.'

Sighing sadly as the memories of her late grandad flooded her, she looked at him, ' I was about 11 when my cycle started and it started during a sunset like this. I was standing watching the skies go blood red as the sun slowly sank down and feeling a sudden pain in my stomach, looked down and saw blood running down my left leg and panicked for I did not know what was happening. My Dada was the one who found me and called out to my mother and the other women in our house and then they took over. A few days later, one morning after we had finished our prayers, Dada told me something that I remembered when you kissed me and that is why I trembled and panicked for I knew for sure what I had known the moment I met you and I knew that my Dada had indeed been correct in his prophecy.'

' What did your Dada tell you?'

She smiled and looked at him, ' One day a soul as bright as your sun will come to fill your life and soul and you will know it the moment you both see each other.'

Madhu puffed her right cheek and blew a storm of air at the few strands of hair that had fallen across her cheek and were not trying to place themselves as barriers between their mouths and souls.'

He tenderly brushed the strands away from her cheek and said, ' Please forgive me for right now my mind is all scrambled and I am not thinking right. The only words that are rushing into my mouth are " I love you."'

' I love you too.'

Love is but a word. But what two souls experience, feel, need and express cannot be compressed into just one word. Like the experience of God cannot be explained by that word and by one religion, Love too cannot be encapsulated by a mere word.

If there is a way, a single word that can capture the essence of the word love, then in my humble opinion, it is the word, Universe. For the universe like love is eternal, infinite, and everywhere.

There is a love, a strange unknowing but sacred love that is felt only by the hearts that experience it. There is a love whose language is known only by those hearts that beat for each other and like DNA that is unique to each and every human being, their love too is unique to them and is known only to them and felt only by them.

Two people can be standing across the room but if their eyes are locked on each other then it means their minds too, is entwined as one. Love, lust, infatuation, whatever it may be that their hearts may desire, but somehow they all exist only between both of them. It is a bridge that allows traffic only between both of them.

Funnily, sadly and tragically there do exist many a time, bridges between souls that permit only one-way traffic, and that state is called " Unrequited love" and they exist all around us and inside us also.

If eyes can build a bridge, tune two different soul stations and make them transmit on one frequency then the kiss is when the souls weave into each other and become one strand and one soul and breathe as one body.

“Lovers find secret places

inside this violent world

where they make transactions

with beauty.

Reason says, Nonsense.

I have walked and measured the walls here.

There are no places like that.

Love says, There are.

Reason sets up a market

and begins doing business.

Love has more hidden work.

Hallaj steps away from the pulpit

and climbs the stairs of the gallows.

Lovers feel a truth inside themselves

that rational people keep denying.

It is reasonable to say, Surrender

is just an idea that keeps people from leading their lives.

Love responds, No. This thinking

is what is dangerous.

Using language obscures

what Shams came to give.

Every day the sun rises

out of low word-clouds

into burning silence.” Rumi,

Avan, Aval Adhu 292

"When love is in excess, it brings a man no honor, nor worthiness."

Meenakshi knew that her father was staring at her and Pandyan, yet her complete and undivided attention was on Ravi who lay on the bed with a few wires sticking out of him. She stood at the door staring at him and tried to take a step towards him and found her feet frozen in place.

Seeing Ravi lying stricken, vulnerable and at death's door was too much for even her strong heart and evil mind to absorb and fathom, and drawing on all her strength she slowly walked towards her heart, her soul, and her love.

Only after reaching his side, did she slowly raise her eyes and look into the eyes of her creator. From across the bed in which the person they and everyone loved, father and daughter stared at each other.

' I hope for your sake that you or anyone that you might know is not involved or was the cause for my child to be lying like this ' Dharmalinga Thevar swore pointing to Ravi and unknowingly with those very words broke the chains of sadness and pain that had wrapped themselves around his daughter's heart.

Her eyes spat fire as she glared at him and for the very first time in his life, Dharmalinga Thevar saw his daughter in all her might and heard her in all her raging fury.

' You are my father, so I am going to let it go. But know this and remember this very well father, if it had been someone else who had said those words or had accused me of being the cause for Ravi fighting for his life, then I would have happily ripped their hearts out.'

' Did you just threaten me? ' he spluttered angrily his face turning a fiery red but ignoring his words and his anger, Meenakshi bit back with more fire, ' You did. So I did.'

' Meenakshi, are you forgetting who you are talking to?'

' No, I am not but sadly, it is you who are forgetting who you are, where you are, and who you are talking to.'

Ignoring him she instead looked lovingly at Ravi and said, ' Here lies a person for whom I would gladly and happily sacrifice my everything including my life if he even thinks it and you stand there and accuse me of being somehow responsible for his condition.

Dharmalinga Thevar had been hearing rumors about his daughter for many years now but nothing had ever been proven and nobody had ever come forward with evidence supporting those claims and rumors. But a parent knows his child and he knew that Meenakshi could be the kindest person if she wanted and then the next moment change into a demon that thrived only on other's pain and suffering.

' I don't believe you. My instinct tells me that you are somehow connected to all of this and to much more that has been happening in and around Madurai.'

Just when things seemed to be getting out of control, the door opened and both of them turned to see Rasaathi Ammal standing there with an accusing look at both of them.

She came towards them and said, ' Please, take your family problems far away from here' and glared at Meenakshi, ' Please, I am begging you, leave us in peace.'

Meenakshi looked at Rasaathi ammal with hurt eyes and whispered, ' Peace. What peace are you talking about, amma? There has been no peace in both our families for many years now and I doubt there will be any such peace in the future.'

Wiping her eyes, ' I came here for my Ravi, to see how he was doing. Nothing else.'

' Meenakshi, there is no my Ravi and there will never be. You are married and a grown-up woman. So, please go home and take care of your life, and please, take care of your son for he seems to be falling into bad company and getting into trouble more often nowadays.'

If both of them had expected Meenakshi to retaliate or in the least suffer some kind of meltdown and were bracing themselves to handle it then they were left disappointed for she did the exact opposite and a bit more. The opposite was for them who were inside and the more was for herself and probably for the one who stood outside.

Meenakshi smiled calmly and then suddenly bent and placed a kiss on Ravi's lips and whispered something quickly and walked out of the ICU.

Dharmalinga Thevar stood fuming in anger and shame and staring daggers at the receding form of his daughter and then apologized to Rasaathi Ammal who smiled and said, ' let it go. Be happy that she left us and this hospital without creating any chaos or worse, destruction.'

Getting into the car, Meenakshi told her driver to head toward the temple's eastern gate and sat staring ahead in angry silence.

Pandyan shaking his head in disgust, ' Do you even know what you are doing or the effects of your actions?'

Frowning she asked angrily, ' WTF are you raving about?'

' Raving, who me? Sorry to disappoint you, ma'am. But, I think everyone around us knows exactly who is mad and who is not.'

' If you have something to say then f..king say it and be done with it. I am still mad at the way you spoke down to me and the way you insulted me in the hospital.'

Pandyan chuckled and giggled and then his face suddenly turned serious and he stared at her and said, ' I think you need help, Meenakshi. I am sorry but there is no other way to say it. But, there is something really wrong with you and you seriously need help.'

Meenakshi looked at him for a few long seconds, smiled, and then asked him what he meant by his silly accusations.

' Did you have to kiss him and that too in front of your father and his mother? In front of me?'

' Okay. So, all this ranting is because you are jealous that I kissed Ravi.'

' No. I am ranting and venting my anger that my silly, stupid wife kissed another man right in front of a camera that was aimed at the bed.'

Meenakshi's face went slack in shock and she stared at her husband and then began to curse filthily.

Pandyan's phone rang and he answered it and then gave it to Meenakshi, ' It's your dad.'

Meenakshi took it and saying a quick hello, waited, as her dad cleared his throat a couple of times and heard him as he spoke his mind.

' I have taken care of the camera recording. Thanks to Inspector Sargunam and thanks to the Hospital dean who understood my situation very well. Funny, that everyone else in this world understands me and respects me but for my own child.'

He cleared his throat again and then in a softer but deadlier sounding tone told her clearly what he wanted from her.

' Don't step foot into this hospital again. Not until Ravi has been discharged. Don't step foot out of your house until this situation has been sorted out. Do you understand me?'

' I do understand you appa but sadly, it is you who have misunderstood me. Do you really think that I am going to listen to your words and orders?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q6uJn6vc91Y

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QkZmAR_9yW8

Avan, Aval Adhu 293

Dharmalinga Thevar stared at his mobile phone in hope that it would somehow miraculously come alive and explain to him what had just happened between him and his daughter. Sadly, no such miracle happened and he looked at Rasaathi ammal who wore the same defeated and resigned look that he was wearing.

' Rasaathi, I don't know how to get through to my daughter. I don't know what words to say that would make her realize the errors of her ways and now she has crossed a line that she had never dared to do before.'

Rasaathi ammal did not offer any words by way of regret or consolation and instead stood looking at her cousin brother.

Dharmalinga Thevar's voice sounded weak and broken as he spoke to her. ' She scares me. Many people over the years have complained to me about her anger, violent behavior, and madness. In the beginning, I turned a deaf ear against all those accusations purely out of love but then it got out of hand and so I warned her. Not just once but several times and once I even slapped her after an opposition party member, an old friend of mine confided in me that she had abused him and had threatened to kill him.'

' I heard about that Dharma, Ravi told me about it. But that was ten, twelve years ago. What has she done now?'

Dharmalinga Thevar smiled sadly and replied, ' She threatened me in a roundabout way and now over the phone told me to stay out of her way and mind my own business.'

He looked at her with tears in his eyes, ' What do I do now? How do I stop her from ruining herself and in the process ruin our entire family and the good name we have earned over several generations.'

Wiping his tears, he looked at Rasaathi Ammal, ' I don't know what is driving her or what fills her with so much hatred and this insane capacity for evil.'

' Look down Dharma and you will find the reason and the source of her power ' Rasaathi ammal declared and Dharmalingam looked down at Ravi and then asked her, ' But all that was long ago. Just water under the bridge.'

' Open your eyes brother and really see your child for what she is for only then will you be able to understand her and her motivation.'

' But Rasaathi, she is married, a mother to a grown-up son, and is now being promoted up the party power ladder and is being groomed for bigger things. How could she .. I mean ' and looking down at Ravi, ' but he hates her and does his best to avoid her and things have been okay all these years.'

' Gayatri. The arrival of Gayatri changed everything and has awakened something that has been slumbering in her soul.'

' what is that, you mean her love for him?'

' No brother, hatred. Hatred and vengeance against all women and any women who dare to cross Ravi's path or worse get close to him.'

Dharmalinga Thevar quickly connected the dots and did the math and looked at his cousin sister in horror, ' So maybe she did lie to me and is somehow connected to what took place in Kodaikanal and why Ravi is lying here in this ICU.'

Rasaathi Ammal shrugging her shoulders tiredly spoke in a dejected voice, ' Maybe she is or maybe she is not but either way what can you do without any proof ' and then suddenly without any rhyme or reason began to laugh loudly and Dharmalinga Thevar unable to take her laughing, ' what's wrong with you? Why are you laughing like you find this whole mess funny when in fact it is deadly serious?

' Dharma, our situation is both serious and hilarious at the same time. I laughed because, even if you find some proof of Meenakshi's involvement in all of this, she is your daughter and as you said has powerful connections in the party and worse, she is like my own child and I would forgive her even if she has hurt Ravi willingly or accidentally.'

' Are you out of your mind? She is my daughter but I will not stand still and while she tries to destroy everything around her to quench her own needs and satisfy her vanity.'

' You will fail and I am sure that you will only worsen the situation and make her more violent than she already is.'

Dharmalingam looked at Rasaathi ammal and asked sadly in a broken voice, ' Then what do we do now? If I, her own father cannot control her then who can control her and whose words of advice will she listen to?'

' There is only one person she will listen to and the reason for that is she has placed that person above everything. Above even herself and her own needs' and pointed to Ravi who lay lost to the world.

Dharmalingam's face revealed the despair his soul felt and how hopeless he was feeling and in a sad voice whispered, ' But he has fallen into darkness.'

' Maybe but my heart tells me that the tide has turned and that his light, the light that will raise and bring him back to us is on its way here.'

The light that they were talking about was already flying towards Madurai seated anonymously in the last row of the economy section. The light and the lady's face were covered by a mask and dark glasses and offered no clues as to who she was.

' I am going back to my real home. I am going back to the light and I am going back to him to return the light that he placed in my soul with his love and with his care. I am coming Ravi for it is time now.'

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fN9hm7k9fns

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p-rSdt0aFuw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_CNj_ShYcno&t=21s

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