*From & To Sathish* - Thread 4 - Page 83

Vaanathai Pola -4

If you stop breathing, you die. But, are you aware of what breathing does to our body as we take in Oxygen and let out Carbon dioxide.

Oxygen is killing us. While its role as the breath of life is well known, the destructive nature of oxygen is more clandestine, slowly chipping away at our health until symptoms emerge. Oxygen can break down the very cells that make up our tissues and organs, our bones and blood. It can damage DNA and critical enzymes. It can injure and stiffen our cell membranes, making the movement of nutrients in and out of cells more challenging while ruining our receptors for various hormones including testosterone, insulin, and thyroid.

We can hold our breaths for as long as we wish, but that would probably create an even bigger problem. Darned if you do. Darned if you don’t.

When we are, were young, hormones filled our bodies and it was designed thus so that each and every form of life had a chance to go forth and create and contribute to new life. But, then we become older and the smart woman Mother Nature is, decides that it is time for your retirement plan and also an exit plan.

Your body is not what it was when you were 15 or 16 and you realize that when you enter your thirties and by the time you have stepped into the forties, most humans have recognized and have learned to accept the aging process.

That is why, exercise and other physical activities become more important as you enter your fifties for that helps boost your immunity system, hormone production and importantly slows down Atrophy and also the aging process.

Former Army Brigadier had led a very active life and was also blessed with good genes and yet a month of lying in a coma was now visibly beginning to take effect.

One of the most common issues facing coma patients who recover is the level of muscle atrophy they've sustained during their period of unconsciousness. Caused by prolonged inactivity, this kind of muscle wastage isn't just restricted to coma patients; muscles require continual use to maintain strength and size, and being still for long periods means they fade away.

Girija Padmanabhan's biggest concern had not been muscle atrophy and wastage but bed sores and she had seen to it that her kid brother was moved every two to three hours and was also looked after by a physiotherapist.

Bedsores — also called pressure ulcers and decubitus ulcers — are injuries to skin and underlying tissue resulting from prolonged pressure on the skin. Bedsores most often develop on skin that covers bony areas of the body, such as the heels, ankles, hips, and tailbone.

People most at risk of bedsores are those with a medical condition that limits their ability to change positions or those who spend most of their time in a bed or chair.

She watched like an eagle over her chick as her brother was sponged down by the nurses and she watched with pride at his still lean and mean body which had not an ounce of fat anywhere on it.

Girija knew very well that if Rajashekar did come out of his coma, it would be a long and hard road to recovery and a full reovery was not guaranteed.

Because patients who are in a coma can't eat or drink on their own, they receive nutrients and liquids through a vein or feeding tube so that they don't starve or dehydrate. But, this would not suffice and it would just be enough for his body to hang on to life and to function at a bare minimum.

Part of his large intestine had been removed along with his spleen and his body had recovered quickly from the three major surgeries that he had been put through and one of Girija's students had remarked to her ' Ma'am, I have seen many cases in my twenty five years as a surgeon but your brother is a revelation and I can boldly capsulate this entire case with one word, Miracle.'

She was alone with her brother and she gently ran her hands through his salt and pepper hair and kissed him on his forehead like their mother used to do when she had been alive and asked him ' Raja, you practically grew up on my lap and spent more time in my arms than our mothers and so I know your every thought and can sense it even from your slightest movement.

What are you fighting for da, Raja? What are you waiting for?

Both she and her brother had decided that they would not spend a day as a vegetable and stuck in a comatose state and that the other would help them pass on.

It was a month into his coma and yet but for his lost consciousness, he was breathing on his own and his heart was pumping steadily and with a beat that seemed to say to her " Wait, wait."

Vaanathai Pola -5

Girija remembered very well the first moment when she and her brother had met in the hospital and she remembered his tiny fingers wrapping themselves around hers and holding on to them.

She bent down and both had exchanged breaths and she had told him ' I am your akka, Girija, but I am also your mother, my tiny brother.'

They were inseparable and where one was, the other would be nearby. Rajashekar had given them a glimpse into what he was going to be like when he became an adult.

He was a calm boy but flew into an uncontrollable temper tantrum when people hurt him or insulted him and in situations like those only Girija could control him and as always she would sing to him his favorite song " Kaakai siraginile" and he would calm down instantly.

Rajashekar put up with almost all that his sister demanded of him and when he had been just four years old, he had agreed to play the role of Lord Krishna along with his sister and her college mates.

From then, she had insisted on calling him her little Krishna.

Girija looked down on her brother and began to brush his wavy hair and then with a naughty smile, whispered ' dei raja, see, I am making a ponytail of your hair like Kutty Krishna and it will be like those days again.'

She turned hearing the knock on the door and one of the duty staff nurses peeped in ' Ma'am, there is a gentleman waiting to see you.'

Girija glared at her and then realizing that the nurse was not to blame for anything, the disturbance and the tragedy that had taken place with her brother, smiled and apologized ' I am sorry for glaring at you.'

Then she stared with intent at the nurse ' gentleman, why did you use that particular word?'

The nurse who had spontaneously described the man waiting outside replied without any hesitation ' well ma'am, he is got that same cultured and calm look as your brother does and ....'

Girija nodded ' raja, must be someone from the army da kanna. Maybe, they have come to wish you well.'

Turning to the nurse ' this gentleman, does he have a name?'

' Yes, ma'am. He said Krishnan, Radha Krishnan and he also added that he was from Kumbakonam.'

A heart knows. A mother's soul knows. Pure love knows even if it has not taken shape as yet. Girija nearly dropped the comb to the floor and then hurriedly controlling the strange emotions that threatened to drown her, looked away and told the nurse, that she would be out in a few moments.

Adjusting her saree and her hair, she opened the door and came out and first looked left and then turned right and saw a tall man standing there with his back turned to her and looking down at the road.

Just as she reached him and was about to call him out by his name, the tall man turned and folding his hands said ' Amma, vanakkam.'

Girija remembered very well the first moment when she and her brother had met in the hospital and she remembered his tiny fingers wrapping themselves around hers and holding on to them.

But, along with their fingers, their eyes too had met

A heart knows. A mother's soul knows. Pure love knows even if it has not taken shape as yet.

' Adhe kannu. My baby's eyes.'

She came stumbling in her footsteps for her feet and legs felt like jelly and when her worst fears were confirmed and she began to collapse, he moved and held her in his arms.

She felt the immense power of his hands even though, they held her like a tiny sparrows egg and she looked up at him and searched for an answer in his shining, star-like eyes.

Radha Krishnan's arms fiercely hugged her and the old sister, aged mother's eyes filled with tears and then she asked him ' Yaaru neenga. Why does my heart beat so fast saying, my blood, my flesh, my bone?'

' I am sorry that I could not be here earlier than this but I am here now and I will serve you both with the best of my abilities.

The boy who went into the dark and came back with light.

Vaanathai Pola -6

Radha Krishnan led the emotionally distraught Girija into the room where her brother Rajashekar lay in a coma and gently pushed her into the chair that was placed close to the head of the bed.

Girija could not take her eyes off him for he looked so much like her darling younger brother and yet was not and then her eyes opened wide as she saw him take a small pouch out of his pocket and handed it to her and said ' this belongs to your brother and it has come back with me at the right time.'

Girija's confusion was mounting by the minute and she tentatively took the pouch and opening it removed a rather faded and old rudraksh mala and raising it looked at Radha Krishnan who just smiled and returned her look. Girija's eyes returned to the Mala and then her memory kicked in and she nearly yelled ' this, this mala belonged to my dad and was given to him by none other than the great saint, Ramana Maharishi himself in Thiruvannamalai.My dad gifted this to my brother when he joined the army and told him that it would keep him safe from harm's way.'

She placed the mala in her palm and felt a slight tingle of energy from it and then looked at Radha Krishnan ' who are you, child? why have you come now? why is that you are in possession of an heirloom that belonged to my brother?'

Far beneath our feet and in the place called the core, hell rages with temperatures as hot as the sun and we hardly know it but for the times when the earths surface itself feels that tremors as earthquakes and volcanic eruptions.

Girija could see the rage and turmoil in the strangers eyes and thinking that it was better left alone for the time being, told him that she would go and get some coffee for both of them and requested him to watch over her brother until then.

' I am not sure what to do with him for we have a pact that the other will not let the other remain a vegetable and prolong their misery. But, the doctor in me keeps losing out to the sister in me and so a month has gone by and no signs of any major brain activity.'

Radha Krishnan remained silent, offering no words or suggestions and Girija left him with her brother to go get some coffee.

Radhu slowly sank to the chair and leaning forward looked closely at Rajashekar and took in all the facial details and smiled and whispered ' your nose and your eyes along with your body.'

He reached out and took Rajashekars right hand and ensconced it in his hands and spoke to him ' Father, mother told me that you were a great warrior, a gentle and beautiful soul.I can see what she meant and I am saddened that we did not spend a life together. But I am here now and I have come bearing messages from the woman that you loved and who still loves you. I am her message and I am also supposed to sing the message for you. it is your favorite song and the one that your mother used to sing to you and I am going to sing it to you now.'

Girija carefully opened the door with one hand for she was carrying the tray with the coffees in the other hand and the moment the door opened, she heard the stranger called Radha Krishnan singing and he was singing her brothers favorite song.

காக்கை சிறகினிலே

நந்தலாலா - நின்றன்

கரிய நிறம் தோன்றுதையே

நந்தலாலா

பார்க்கும்

மரங்களெல்லாம்

நந்தலாலா - நின்றன்

பச்சை நிறம்

தோன்றுதையே நந்தலாலா

கேட்கும் ஒளியில்

எல்லாம் நந்தலாலா -

நின்றன்

கீதம் இசைக்குதடா

நந்தலாலா

தீக்குள் விரலை

வைத்தால் நந்தலாலா -

நின்னை

தீண்டும் இன்பம்

தோன்றுதடா நந்தலாலா

In this highly charged climate and with visibility down to dangerous levels, my words might be provoking and even broaching and breaking the freedom barriers of women.

Seven years ago in December 2012, Nirbhaya came into our lives not only as the woman who was the victim of unspeakable violence and evil but also as the reminder to all of us that Rape, Violence, and murder of the fairer, gentler and stronger sex is here, has been here and is right here among us.

Nirbhaya means fearless and that was the name used for the late victim and her real name was Jyoti Singh which means light. Sadly, there was no light in her life and also no life.

Several more cases of such violence have taken place and there seems to be no stopping these evil B..t...s who are preying on women.

The latest hyderabad case where a doctor was the latest victim and all four accused were shot and killed in an encounter is now the hot headlines in India.

The four criminals were killed but what about the poor victim and what does it mean that justice was served and she must be happy with it.

w.f is going on people cos it is okay for us to tell ourselves, fool ourselves with such fantasy talk that justice was delivered and that the family is now happy that their daughter was avenged but deep down we know that it is not so.

The poor victim went to her death in the most scariest and painful way and not all the deaths and killings will make that right.

So, ladies, please, it is up to you people to look after yourselves, protect yourselves and think before you venture out with unknown people to unknown places and most of you teens and slighter older girls in their late and early twenties do it out of peer pressure and just to fit in with the crowd.

Then, things just escalate and it is too late.

Take this recent Coimbatore case where a girl was gang-raped in the park in front of her boyfriend.

W.F were you doing in the park, at night,at 9 pm and why celebrate your birthday at night and in a park where there is no security or anybody to turn to.

If that girl had refused and had instead said ' let's go to a mall or a restaurant', maybe then things wouldn't have turned out so sadly.

I am ashamed and embarrassed to even say it but sadly it is true and that this is still " a violent world and a mans' world.'

Something is going on.Some kind of transformation is going on and it is now a new form of evil that has been set loose among the younger generation of men and almost all the rapes over the past ten to fifteen years are being now committed by younger and younger men, boys.

We cannot go around correcting and educating such creatures. But, the least we can do is protect our daughters and plead with them to protect themselves and not place themselves in dangerous situations by their own choice.

This is just so sad and shameful to say, but as per the June 2019 Thomson Reuters Foundation survey, the world's most dangerous country for a woman to live in is in India.

Saudi Arabia ranks number 5 and Pakistan ranks number 6 on the list.

That means even war-torn and fundamentalist countries of the world treat their women better than India do, according to the most recent statistics.

It is also interesting to note that women in India feel the need to constantly safe-guard themselves "like a nation on terrorist alert" both outside and inside their own house.

The minority of women who said they felt "safe" living in India, said they did all the "right" things - dressing appropriately, not talking to strangers, not staying late out at night, locking their doors.

The majority of women clearly felt unsafe to take any risk for fear of being victim-shamed.

Indian men, however, had a different view. They felt not all men on the road are rapists and they would defend and protect a woman if she needed help.

In clear contrast, 90% of rape victims have revealed that they already knew the rapist before the assault happened.

This shows there has been a clear sign of mistrust, betrayal and power of abuse at some point in trusted relationships.

The highest group of suicides in India are not farmers or students.

They are married women. Every year 20,000 housewives kill themselves due to misuse of power in their marital family relationships.

In Tamil Nadu alone, 1500 download child p*rn every week.

This is drawn from the latest statistics.

Please make wise choices in your own surroundings.

It can be your only lifeline to safety.

*10 Advices from a SC Judge who handled family dispute courts.*

1.Don't encourage your son and his wife to stay under same roof with you. Best to suggest them to move out, even to the extent of renting a house. It's their problem to find a separate home.

More the distance between you and your children's families, the better is the relationship with your in laws.

2.Treat your son's wife as his wife, not as your own daughter, maybe just treat her as a friend. Your son would always be your Junior but, if you think that his wife is of the same rank and if you ever scolded her, she would remember it for life.

In real life, only her own mother and not u will be viewed as a person qualified to scold or correct her.

3.Whatever habits or characters your son's wife has is not your problem at all, it is your son's problem. It isn't your problem as he is an adult already.

4.Even when living together, make each others businesses clear, don't do their laundry, don't cook for them and don't baby sit their children. Unless, of course, there is a special request by your son's wife and you feel that you're capable and don't expect anything in return.

Most importantly, you shouldn't worry about your son's family problems. Let them settle themselves

5.Pretend to be blind and deaf when your son and his wife are quarrelling. It's normal that the young couple do not like their parents to b involved in the dispute between husband and wife.

6.Your grandchildren totally belong to your son and his wife. However they want to raise their children, it is up to them. The credit or blame would be on them.

7.Your son's wife need not necessarily respect and serve you. It is the son's duty. You should have taught your son to be a better person so that you and your son's wife relationship could be better.

8. Do more planning for your own retirement, don't rely on your children to take care of your retirement. You had already walked through most of your journey in life, there are still a lot of new things to learn through out the journey.

9. It is your own interest that you enjoy your retirement years. Better if you could utilise & enjoy everything that you had saved before you die. Don't let your wealth become worthless to you.

10.Grandchildren don't belong to your family, they're their parents precious gift.

The above message is not only for you, please share it with your friends, parents, in-law, uncles, auntie, husband or wife to find peace & progress in life as it is based on life long experience of a judge who handled family dispute courts.

Vaanathai Pola -7

“Upon first glance I felt a sense of familiarity with you. Like we had been down this road a thousand times before, why I felt this with a complete stranger I am yet to know but I trust further down the road our chance meeting will make perfect sense.”

She sat on the bed, near the knee of her brother while he sat in the chair that had been offered and both sat sipping their coffees and looking at each other.

Girija looked at Radha Krishnan ' decades of being a doctor and a bloody good one has blessed me with great observational skills. I know one thing about you and that is you are here for some powerful reason and which you will confide in me at some point but not before that.'

Radha Krishnan stared at her with eyes that were not muddied with any thoughts or needs and replied ' You know me well and I will tell you just this and that is I am here to serve both of you and will do it until it is necessary and until things become better.'

Girija's eyes opened wide in confusion ' things become better, what do those words mean?'

' Ma'am, why are we here and what is ailing your brother that he now lies in a coma? have you not given thought about this situation and the about the circumstances that have put your brother in such danger?'

Girija nodded ' I have and for the life of me cannot think of a reason why my brother was attacked so brutally. The police came calling many a time and have seemed to hit a dead end in their investigation. The army came too but now slowly the case has become stale and cold and I doubt if anything will be found anymore.'

She looked at him ' Radha Krishnan, why are you here now and why now of all times? What is your interest in this case and what is it do you do?'

Radhu smiled ' I am between jobs ma'am and had a month off before I decide on what to do next. Then, I heard about what had taken place here with Mr.Rajashekar and came to see him and wish him well.'

' what do you, Mr.Radha Krishnan? what are your qualifications son?'

Radhu smiled ' I am a double graduate in English and Tamil languages and also have an MA in literature.'

Girija smiled sadly ' Maybe the tide is changing for the better now that you have come Radhu for The Flock has been ailing and barely functioning the past month.'

She looked at her brother ' Raja ran a tight ship and with a firm hand and people not only feared him but also respected him greatly. But, from the moment he was attacked, the vultures have begun to circle us and The Flock and slowly but surely pressure is being brought on us from all sides.'

Girija began to talk and she spoke for a long time.

The moments are so fleeting. The years are fleeing past as if they are being hunted mercilessly by some demon that devours time and in the process life and memories. I have found that the only way to stretch a moment for as long as possible is to dwell on it, the thought at hand and see it through to its logical conclusion.

The new story might be a slow beginner but I would call it a slow burner and the wick is long but the explosions are coming. This new story which is just a few chapters into its voyage is a seed that took root a few years back and made me think " Why not, why the hell not?" and so I have given it humble beginnings with just a bit of emotion thrown in.

I have not been keeping good health and am not my usual self. On the eve of my departure to Bengaluru to say hi and by to a soul that departed a year ago, I fell sick and the effects are still lingering in my lungs as congestion and a nasty, raspy cough. But, the few days of temperature burnt away something in me and that which needs to grow back and rejuvenate itself. The art of writing. The art of thought. The art of expression.

I have learned that writing, expressing, thinking is a waste of time on WhatsApp and facebook because people just don't have the time to read, understand and reply to one's thoughts and as always it leaves me thinking ' You don't have time. So, what do you make time for, I just wonder?'

With so many diversions in the name of entertainment and with the mobile right in the center of everyone's palms and taking center stage in everyone's lives, there is no time for anything other than forwards of all nature.

Masking my eyes and keeping them blank, I look, I see without either looking or seeing and am as always lost in thought.

I have begun to master the art of being deaf and dumb and sometimes blind too for sadly there is not much to see, hear or talk about in today's world.

I sometimes crave to talk to people about books, poetry, their own thoughts, and even fears but everywhere and wherever I go, people are so full of themselves and the resulting conversation is full of others.

Sorry, If I am coming across as depressing or a bit neurotic but this is what I feel, honestly.

Vaanathai Pola -8

We are mere mortals. We believe and make-believe in illusions. We call it faith and we call the object of our faith, God. Good happens, we say it is because of the grace of God. Bad happens and we blame it on ourselves and say maybe we angered God, displeased him somehow and accept our fate and pain that we face.

Girija Padmanabhan looked at Radha Krishnan and knew from the way his face was set like a stone that he was not like ordinary people and similar to other mortals in thought.

She met his eyes ' slowly but surely, pressure is being brought on us and The Flock. Many of the faculty members have resigned their jobs citing age and other reasons.'

His eyes flared like stars in the night sky and his think lips, cruel but beautiful twitched its question and doubt ' If you are going to offer me a job I will only be too willing to take it, Ma'am.'

Placing the now empty cup down in the tray, Radhu looked at her ' you are a doctor. So, please tell me honestly and tell me the truth about Mr.Rajashekars situation?'

' Bad, very bad. As a doctor that is all I can tell you but as a sister and also more of a mother to him, I am telling you that I will not give up without a fight and if the worse should happen and my brother should pass on, then I will fight for his dream that is The Flock. But....'

Radhu looked at her ' No buts ma'am. It is going to be okay and I mean both your brother and His Flock.'

He looked at her ' Ma'am if you don't mind I would like to spend more time with Mr.Rajashekar and maybe spend the night here with him if it is okay with you.'

Girija nodded ' it is okay with me.'

A heart knows. A mother's soul knows. Pure love knows even if it has not taken shape as yet and Girija knew that her brother was safe in the strangers care.

It was nearly 7.00 in the evening when Radhu emerged from the room where Rajashekar lay in a coma and went to the hospital canteen that was in the basement.

He sat far away from everyone and made the call.

' he is okay mother but is in a coma and that is what is worrying.'

He listened to her as she cried into the phone and promised her ' I will make some call and see what can be done, mother. I promise that I will do my best.Bye.'

He sat alone and seeing his mobile screen light up, answered it ' Boss, everything okay.'

The caller spoke hurriedly ' Not okay at all. I can only cover for you for so long. What do I do after that?'

Radhu smiled cynically ' if it comes to that, tell them that I am missing in action or that I have gone deep undercover.'

Sensing a crowd building up around him in the canteen ' boss, this is my father who I did not even know existed until a few days ago. I owe it to my mother to be here with him and see what I can do for him and my aunt. There is just no shirking from that responsibility for the time has come when blood is more important than my duty. And you know and they know what all I have sacrificed these past ten years in the name of duty and country.'

Far away from the canteen in Global hospitals, in Adyar, Raman's phone rang and he answered it immediately.

V.K.Singh spoke ' Ram, take the first flight out to Delhi. Something important is happening and I need you here for this.'

Raman ended the call and looked at Jeeva who had put down the magazine that she had been reading and was now staring at him ' work.Delhi.Tomorrow morning.'

He saw her black eyes squeeze their hurt and leaning forward gently kissed her lips ' the usual baby. I will be back in a few days at the most. Don't worry.'

He looked at her and said ' pregnancy does really make a woman more beautiful than what she already is' and slowly traced his finger down her nose and lips and gently embraced her and held her close to himself.

Vaanathai Pola -9

Raman's flight to Delhi was at 5.30 am and so he had booked a taxi for 3.00 am. It would take a maximum of 30 minutes in the early hours to reach the airport and he would be all checked in and ready by 4.00 am and then he could take the time to go through his encrypted mail and also the additional information that would have been sent last night.

At exactly, 2.30 am Raman came awake and slowly made his way to the bathroom and quickly brushed his teeth, shaved and showered and wrapping the large towel around his waist came out on wet toes and stopped short on seeing Jeeva sitting up and she looked at him ' Gotta pee. One of the incentives of being pregnant.'

Raman nodded and watched as she went into the bathroom and came out a few minutes later and it was her turn to stop short and look at him for he was waiting just outside the door.

Raman hugged her tenderly ' Being a man, being your husband is all okay. But, I will never know what exactly goes on in your body and mind.I am sorry that I have to be rushing off so early. Believe me, if I had the choice then I would stay by your side every moment of my waking life and fall asleep holding you in my arms.'

He kissed her and the kiss turned deep and soon turned into them both dropping down into the bed. Jeeva mumbled ' flight, Delhi' and Raman ' I have got time. I have a lot of time for that and for my wife too.'

All he had to do was drop the towel around his waist and all she had to do was unbutton her soft cotton gown and she took him deep into her. There was urgency and as always excitement and most importantly in all matters of the body, desire. She burned all over in his desire for her and in all the hot kisses that he rained on her ears and throat and she groaned ' harder and more roughly' and he forced himself deeper into her and she came instantly and the pleasure was so intense and mindblowing that all she could do was wrap her legs around him and hold on to him as he moved again and again and deeper and deeper into her.

The air was musky with the smells of their sex and sweat and she whispered into his lips ' I don't know about your flight but my flight took off and is still flying high among the clouds.'

Far away on OMR road, Global hospitals, Radha Krishnan lay awake in the darkness of the room and with only his comatose father for company.

His memory took him back to the phone call that his mother had made and how he had felt hearing his mother talk about his real father, Brigadier Rajashekar.

Radhu got up and placing the chair close to his father, sat in it and took his dad's right hand in his and spoke to him.

' I am sorry that I could not be here when you needed me and when you needed to be protected. But, I promise that I will hunt them down, whoever they are and wherever they may be and I will make them answer to this attack on you. I swear on you and it matters not whether you are alive or dead for your only son will see it through to the end.'

He made a call to someone he had met long ago and waited and then hearing the hello from the other side, spoke calmly ' is there any way a man can be brought back from a state of coma?'