*From & To Sathish* - Thread 4 - Page 123

Thank you. I wish you a beautiful day. All the very best.

Calm seas, raging seas, gentle baby waves, large-hearted motherly waves, playful both big and small teenage waves and then there is that wave that is called Tsunami.

Large articles, small articles, poem mixed with prose creations, epics, short and long stories and then you have those single line thoughts, creations and like that tsunami, they just blow you away, leaving behind a hollow and empty feeling inside.

Life is a question and how we live it is our answer. -Gary Keller

we come and go and come and go and then we live, finally and we go, finally-satish

so many breaths and in them is that one breath that is taken away from you and that is love-satish

breathless you gasp for air and realize she has taken it from you and then you breathe gladly and realize that the air is different and you understand that it is her breath that she has poured into you.-satish

Where there is love there is life. -Gandhi

Learning is a weightless treasure you can always carry easily. -Chinese Proverb

I speak English but think Tamil. I write in English but my thoughts are purely in Tamil. I watch a lot of English films and Tv shows but I am most comfortable when I am acting in Tamil.

It is so easy to say "I love you" but it is so bloody difficult to say "I am sorry."

Good morning. I wish you a beautiful day.

I am sorry if I come across as being judgemental and opinionated but the things that I see and surely you see and must have seen is disturbing and also weird in our own weirdly human way.

Forget everything and just spend a little time outside the temple and you can see many short films in a very short time. Incidents that take place so quickly that you would miss it if you had not been watching it or if you had not been prepared to watch it in the first place.

If you want to know about the average Indian's mentality, personality and also if you have wondered why even after nearly 73 years of gaining Independence, our nation still lags behind so many countries that got their freedom at about the same time.

Whether I am going to work or whether I going back home after my morning crawl, I always make it a point to stop outside the Shiva temple and with folded hands pray, sorry beg him for more work and better fortune.

Not much difference between me and the other beggars in rags and dressed in sores and dirt.

The doors to the temple open at 6.00 am and they do that without fail.

The temple security guy is from Oriental blood and I am not sure if he is from Nepal or Assam or those other states that are at the feet of the Himalayas but he definitely has some Oriental blood in him and maybe one of his ancestors was from the land of tea, noodles and Kung fu.

I will start with him for he has this really weird habit that sets my heart rate soaring to the moon.

Many oldies make it a point to be there at that time between 6 and 7.00 am for that is the time when the Linga is bathed, dressed and readied for business and collections.

This security guy chooses this hour to start walking to and fro and I really mean it for he will walk and stop and linger behind the Nandi and then walk away and return again and again.

Outside, I and the others and many more others who rush to the spot are instead presented with this oriental security man's backside and this starts the moonwalk, hip-shuffle kind of dance steps as all the devotees start moving to the left or right and it is a sight to behold.

My lips which were muttering the holy mantra of my God" Om Nama Shivaya " instantly transformed into a loud roar ' Dei, arivukettavane, Unnoda kundiya paaka varale, Oram poda."

I knew that I had screwed up and that too with many old people present there and who also knew me very well and my lips quickly formed and whispered " Sorry, sorry " to everybody around me.

Their half-hearted forced smiles reminded me of Villain Nambiar's smirks and expressions and feeling small, I stooped, hunched, and slunk away feeling ashamed and embarrassed.

Work was tight for a week or so and then one morning I was doing a few stretches that had most of the beach dogs, my friends rolling in laughter and I knew that I was a funny fellow.

I looked at them and said, ' I have been lifting weights from 92, 1992, so my muscles are a bit tight and don't respond well to stretches, so stop the laughter or no biscuits and pedigree.'

That instantly shut them dogs up, serves them right.

An old man in the age category where he would have been happier under the ground or in the grill or in a box slowly came to my side and smiled and I smiled back.

' That was a good thing that you did yelling outside the temple a few days back.'

I looked at him and he looked at me and said, ' Forget the temple security guy, even some of the public now do a little bit more to adjust and give way for others to get Gods darshan' and with that, he walked away.

My lips and their smile was stuck ear to ear for many a moment and a sight which prompted all my doggie pals to slowly back away from me and whispering, ' our human pal is doing that familiar psycho thing that he does on his own and maybe his own Anniyan is coming out, better we disappear.'

Temple talk.

If someone is standing and praying to God, please don't go and stand in front of them and show them your suitcase, okay briefcase, sorry luggage racks and in the process get their curses.

More temple talk and curses soon.

Lots of love and best wishes.

Good morning.

Somedays, a lot less nowadays, a pall of depression slowly settles down and covers me with its darkness. No blue dress, red Undie or red cape-like superman and just black like the tragedy prince of darkness, batman.

The revelation was numbing and I nearly exclaimed, ' WTF God, why is that most superheroes and superwomen are orphans or have suffered some great tragedy early in their childhood?'

Obviously, no voice replied for that would have meant me jumping out of my skin and well if that had indeed happened, then what is the guarantee that my spirit would have returned back into the body and into its shell of skin, dead skin notwithstanding.

Even in the great epic Mahabharat, Karna, my personal favourite is an orphan and I thought to myself, ' Maybe, the best of souls and the hardiest of blades are forged longer and harder in the fires and sorrows of life.'

I mumbled to myself as I walked in the darkness, ' F..k, at least Karna had some protection like the kavach and kundal that were gifted by his father, the mighty Sun God.'

A voice whispered in surround 7.1 effect and rather than jump out of my skin, I smiled and welcomed my pious and intelligent twin that lies slumbering in my brain as if he is is lord Vishnu sleeping on Ananta.

I asked, ' what? did you say something?'

Well, the good part of me said, ' Karna had his kavach and kundal and it indeed made him a mighty warrior and yet Lord Krishna had them removed.'

' Your point?'

' My point is that even the golden armour gifted by his father could not protect him and in the end, only his kindness and good deeds lay between him and death and for that, Lord Krishna himself had to put in a special appearance and also reveal his Viswaroopam with all the CGI work that Spielberg and James Cameron would be proud of.'

I exhaled loudly in frustration and screamed silently, ' For God's sake, WTF are you getting at and is there any point in your sermon?'

The slumbering part of me smiled and said, ' It is not only Karna that was blessed with Kavach and Kudal and it is not only Karna for whom God has to come down personally but for you and all of us too.'

I closed my eyes and using my right fist knocked my own head several times and yelled, ' get to the point idiot.'

' Kavach and Kundal are not only Karna's property but we all come blessed with it. Our family is our Kavach and Kundal. Our friends and well-wishers are our Kavach and Kundal. Mother earth and this universe are also our Kavach and Kundal and then there is the love, best wishes and blessings that others have for you that are the most important and impenetrable kavach and kundal a life can have.'

My feet picked up its pace and speed and I began to jog and then run for I felt my own kavach and Kundal and felt the love, respect and wishes of all those who are in my realm and whose realms I too belong too.

Instead of Why me, I these days ask Why not me and the answers have made my life a lot more bearable and also has filled me with more empathy.

I have seen too many dead puppies and kittens and dead and dying people to ask " Why me" and so it is now that phase of " Why not me" for there is nothing special about any of us, but................... for our

EGO, a rather hyper-inflated EGO.

I thank you all for your friendship, wishes and love and I wish you all a beautiful day.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rrYFn-hybGY&list=PLsSTkBgqx7osxL8vetgTg0I4RMIX536lL&index=5

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5FGaN27Usa4&list=PLsSTkBgqx7osxL8vetgTg0I4RMIX536lL&index=1

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WmwnSkV-DKk&list=PLsSTkBgqx7osxL8vetgTg0I4RMIX536lL&index=2

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eiOm6QG_Mr8&list=PLsSTkBgqx7osxL8vetgTg0I4RMIX536lL&index=3

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rp9Ou401HTs&list=PLsSTkBgqx7osxL8vetgTg0I4RMIX536lL&index=4

Vaanathai pola 196

"An action, even if it brings benefit to oneself, cannot be considered a good action if it causes physical and mental pain to another being." The Buddha

Deputy Commissioner Karthik whispered the name Perumalvaram and turned and looked at both his Sub-Inspectors who shook their heads indicating that they had no idea where the place was and then he turned and looked at Inspector Naseeruddin who nodded and then pointed to the door.

DC Karthik looked at his men and said, ' watch them and listen to them carefully for they might just blurt out some clues that will help us crack this case.'

Indicating the door, ' I will go and see what the Inspector has to say about this place Perumalvaram and once we have the proper location then it is just a matter of hours before we go and nab this blind baba and bring him back to the city for questioning and who knows we might even nab the killers by the time this day turns into night.'

He walked briskly out into the street where Inspector Naseeruddin was waiting and said, ' Okay, tell me what you know and tell it quickly for I have no more time to waste here.'

Inspector Naseeruddin nodded, ' Sir, this place Perumalvaram that the beggar mentioned is actually called Perumalpuram and it is situated about 10 to 12 km away from Azhagar hills and that means about 35 km from here to there. But.... sir'

' But what Naseer? what now?'

' Sir, it is maybe 35 km to get there to this place but then you have to walk through the forest and that may take two or more hours before you reach this village.'

Deputy Commissioner Karthik cursed loudly switching between both Tamil and English and then catching sight of Inspector Naseeruddin's nervous look, he asked him angrily, ' Anything else that I should be aware of this pesky village?'

Naseer nodded, ' sir, you will need permission to enter the passage and to venture into the forest.'

Deputy Commissioner Karthik burst out laughing and asked, ' permission from whom and permission for what, Naseer' and tapping his badge, ' IPS, Deputy Commissioner and I have powers that are nearly equal to that of the district collector himself and you are telling me that I need permission.'

Stepping closer to the Inspector and nearly into his face, Karthik roared, ' who will stop me from entering this place and who the f..k has to give me permission.'

Far away from where they stood talking, and nearly 35 km away, the old man whispered in a soft voice, ' Mr.Radha Krishnan, please stop the vehicle and park it under that huge Tamarind tree.'

Radhu had yet to recover from his shock of his identity being known to this strange old man who he knew for certain that he had never met before and yet here was the same man in flesh and blood and who in all likeliness knew much more about him and his past.

They had turned left from the highway and had entered a bumpy stretch of road that was crowded on both sides by tall trees that appeared to have a will of their own.

After driving for nearly five minutes on the narrow, bumpy road they had finally come out into a small clearing that at best could hold five or six cars and no more.

Radhu and Kavita stood gazing in wonder at Mother nature dressed in various shades of Green and realized that they had stepped into a paradise that lay so close to the heart of Tamil Nadu and yet lay hidden as if it was a precious jewel.

Pazham Swamy looked at both of them and smiling benevolently, told them, ' Like all precious metals and stones, Mother Nature and her creations too have to be protected, nurtured and cherished for if they are lost then all life is lost and forever.'

Vaanathai pola 197

“Words create sentences; sentences create paragraphs; sometimes paragraphs quicken and begin to breathe.”

? Stephen King, On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft

Inspector Naseeruddin was a devout man and his unshakeable faith in Allah had been one of the reasons why he was the most respected and trusted Police officer in Madurai and yet this valuable nugget of information had slipped past Deputy Commissioner Karthiks knowledge and so he asked again, ' Inspector, who will stop me and that when I have the backing of Commissioner David and Collector Vinay themselves.'

Naseeruddin was normally a calm man and was blessed with a capacity for great levels of tolerance and patience and yet here was this senior officer, a young buck, a kid in fact who was testing him and taking a deep breath and chanting Allah's name, he replied, ' First of all the forest department. You need the Conservator of Forests, Deputy Inspector General of Forests Mr.Malaiswamy to give you permission to enter the forest and since this is a criminal investigation and also since you are in pursuit of a man that will take you into the Tribal community land you will need permission from the Ministry of Adi Dravidar and Tribal Welfare Department.'

Deputy Commissioner Karthik's mind had been made up and yet he looked at Inspector Naseer, ' why do I need two departments to give me permission to enter the forest?'

Naseer spoke in a very serious tone that also expressed itself in his eyes, ' Not two sir but three for even if you somehow manage to get the forest department and the Ministry of Adi Dravidar and Tribal Welfare Department's permission, you still need the permission of the tribals who live there for you to proceed further into the forest and towards their village and mountain and that will take time and in my opinion, you will never be allowed to step foot inside. So, I beg of you to handle this in a more calm and sensitive manner.'

DC Karthik exploded, ' sensitive, what do you mean in a more calm and sensitive manner when one of our officers has been brutally murdered and now lies in the morgue in two pieces.'

Inspector Naseeruddin knew in his heart that the young and upcoming Karthik was an honest cop and that the only flaw in his resume was impatience and a need to get results and so he stepped back and pointed to the hall behind whose closed doors were all the beggars that had been rounded up from the vicinity of the temple and said, ' That beggar just called out a name and also said something.'

Karthik nodded, ' yeah, he called out for his blind friend Aghori Baba to come and save him and which I find rather hilarious given his situation. Maybe if he had called out to Lord Sundareshwarar it might have done some good for him.'

' Sir, you are missing the point. If this blind baba visits this temple in Perumalvaram for every Pradosham then that is something that you should not overlook at all for that is a very valuable piece of information.'

' What do you mean Naseer? what does pradosham and this blind beggar have to do with all of this?'

Inspector Naseeruddin smiled calmly, ' sir, I just told you that you need three people to grant you permission to enter that forbidden and protected village and of this blind beggar is able to visit it twice every week then that means he is protected and is in the good books of those tribals.'

If Naseer had thought his words would have brought about a semblance of change in his superior's manner he was totally disappointed for DC Karthik smiled like a shark and said, ' Maybe today is my lucky day and maybe I can nab this blind bas..rd before he enters the forest.'

Turning to his sub-inspectors, he yelled, ' Perumalvaram it is ' and turning to Inspector Naseer, ' bring that blind ba..ard along with you and also bring a dozen armed constables and follow me as fast as you can.'

Inspector Naseeruddin shook his head and did what he had been ordered to do and yet deep in his soul he prayed for Allah's protection for a sense of doom had begun to encroach on his thoughts.

Vaanathai pola 198

Kavita, Radhu and Palam Swamy stood watching the police security team park their vehicle behind their BMW and the old man informed his guest softly that only they three had been granted permission to venture into the forest and that the police team had to remain outside.

Kavita knew that she had nothing to worry about with Radhu by her side and so requested her team to stand down and wait for her return.

While she was talking to them, Palam Swamy told Radhu that he too should leave his mobile phone, and handgun in the car for otherwise they would not be allowed into the forest.

Radhu's face clouded with irritation and he asked this weird and mysterious old man what they were supposed to use to protect themselves if they suddenly found themselves in a dangerous situation.

Kavita rejoined them and Radhu turned to her and told her what the old man had just asked of him and both looked at the man in question.

Palam Swamy smiled, ' Young man, this is not the desert where you are in constant danger and where you had no clue as to who was your friend and who was your foe. This is the land of Perumalvaram and there is an entity who watches from the top of the mountain and who protects all those who enter with his permission.'

Radhu's filthy retort in Arabic stopped in its tracks, froze in his thoughts and he exclaimed loudly, ' Wtf is going on here old man. who are you and how do you even know my name and where I have been all this while?'

Palam Swamy smiled, ' I have been updated constantly about you and this other warrior with whom you are going to stand side by side and wage war with an enemy that is even now preparing to unleash hell from the top of the snowy mountains.'

Radhu threw his hands up in the air in a show of frustration and turning to Kavita, ' what is going on here? I have no clue? Do you at least have an inkling of what is happening right now?'

Palam Swamy smiled and said, ' Young man, there is more happening here than you know and there is a lot more happening right now and far from here and your father Brigadier Rajashekar is just the tip of the iceberg.'

Turning away he began to walk in a pace that belied his age that must have been in the late 80s and maybe even in the 90s and not knowing what else to do both Radhu and Kavita followed him towards the narrow path that had been created in the forest and crossing it arrived at a few booths that stood outside a large gate.

There were just two forest rangers and both of them stood up with respect and greeted Palam Swamy and then realizing who Kavita was quickly saluted her and welcomed her with great warmth.

Vaanathai pola 199

Radhu who had yet to recover from the shock that an old man who probably spent most of his time in a protected forest knew his real name and had seen through his fake identity of a middle-aged security guard was now beyond shock and astonished and was now feeling disturbed and his Spartan instincts kicked in and he placed a hand and blocked Kavita from moving forward and told her, ' I am sorry but I don't think we should proceed and that too without your security team.'

Pointing to Palam Swamy, ' we don't know who he is and what his agenda is and now, here we are about to follow him blindly into a forest, without weapons and without even our mobile phones in case we need to make an emergency call.'

Kavita did not know what to say and she looked at Palam Swamy and at Radhu who stepping closer to her whispered in her ear, ' how does he know who I am and who my father is and how the bloody hell does he know that my father was attacked?'

He looked at her with concern, ' Kavita, I care two bits for my life but I will destroy the world if I have to before I let even a scratch hurt you in any way.'

Palam Swamy looked at him, ' so much anger. So much power and yet so many old and sad memories.'

Radhu felt the tenderness in the old man's grip and yet he felt a strange vibration run through him and he listened to him, ' Son, you cannot build on something that has been lost forever. Your wife and child were taken from you and yet you have been given another chance at love and redemption. Please, trust your fate and importantly trust in your God's faith that he has in you for it is he that has sent you from the deserts of Arabia to the land of three-eyed God.'

Radhu nodded and Palam Swamy looked at him and said, ' All your questions and doubts will be cleared by the Guardian of this forest and the God who watches everything and misses nothing.'

Palam Swamy pointed in the direction of the East, ' come, my children for I have been told to move quickly for danger is approaching us and we have to reach the village before that.'

Radha Krishnan angrily, ' WTF old man, you say some kind of danger is approaching us and yet you want us to follow us into the forest. I just don't get you at all.'

Palam Swamy smiled like an angel ' believe it or not, we are totally safe inside the forest and it is out here that we are most vulnerable and lastly I sense the forest beginning to stir and it is best that we are not here when it begins to act on its instincts.'

Radhu and Kavita followed the old man Palam Swamy through the open gate that the forest department officers kept open and one of them smiled and said, ' Ma'am, nothing to worry in there and trust me when I tell you that no harm will fall on you. '

One of the constables of the six-member security team slowly vanished into the forest after informing his team leader that he needed to pee very badly and the moment he was out of sight, he made a call on the phone given to him and whispered, ' Iyaa, she has just entered the forest of Perumalpuram and it is just her middle-aged personal guard and an old man.'

He listened to what was being asked and whispered, ' No, all three of them are on foot and without weapons and phones.'

Vaanathai Pola 200

Madurai police commissioner Davidson's mobile phone rang three times before he answered it with a hello, and requested the caller to hold on and looked at Collector Vinay and said, ' call from the control room, sorry have to take it.'

' Please go ahead and finish your call and we can continue after that.'

Commissioner Davidson nodded and spoke to the Inspector who was calling him from the control room.

' Iyaa, we are getting reports from all around Madurai about suspicious movements of known chargesheeters and also people who have been involved in caste violence.'

Davidson's instincts screamed warnings of imminent violence in the city and he roared, ' Increase our police presence in all the checkpoints and tell the teams that I am sending armed police personnel to help them with their duties. Nobody enters Madurai city today and I will ask for an immediate curfew to be placed in and around the city.'

The Inspector's voice sounded timid and thin as he reported to Davidson, ' Iyaa, the people are not heading towards Madurai but seem to be heading towards the forest that surrounds the protected tribal village, Perumalvaram.'

Commissioner Davidson found this bit of information very weird and asked, ' Why are they heading to that place? have our informers given us any news about some gathering happening there?'

' Iyaa, I already took the liberty of launching a few drones around the forest and from what I have seen in the live footage, I think the mountain village of Perumlvaram seems to be the point towards which all the movements are heading to although I am not sure what the reasons are for their strange actions.'

' Okay, listen carefully, I am authorizing a full battalion of reserve police to be sent to watch and protect this ancient village and also the other small villages that lie around its borders. Send the message to the police barracks immediately and ask them to leave as soon as possible.'

Ending the call, he looked at a very concerned collector Vinay and sighing said, ' Shit, for a second there I was really scared that some kind of trouble was about to break out in our city and that innocent lives would be lost in the process.'

Commissioner Davidson told Collector Vinay what he had been just been told and both sat and looked at each other wondering what was going on and who or what was behind these sudden movements of criminals that were sending them towards the Protected tribal village of Perumalvaram.

Deconstructing Gopinath

life, lies, between and under the sheets and between souls

Good morning. I wish you all a beautiful day.

I humbly inform you all that the new serial " Baakiyalakshmi" that is airing on Vijay tv every evening at 6.30 pm from Monday to Saturday is off to a great start and is now in the third week of its life. I was told that it has opened with ratings that is a new record for this time slot and I attribute that for all your best wishes and for all the hard work out in by the team and the producer.

My character Gopinath who is a quiet, sidumoonji father who along with his wife and three children lives in an independent house with his parents.

I guess it is not by chance that the most difficult role in the serial has fallen into my lap or has been placed in my hands for safekeeping for even though I am playing the role of one character it has now forged into another avatar and that is the Gopinath of the old which means back when he was young.

Even though the age is not mentioned, I guess I am playing a father in his late forties or early fifties and by sheer chance he meets the girl whom he had loved and had wanted to marry but could not.

The reason for that is his strict headmaster father who forces him to marry an orphaned girl which yes obviously is the heroine Baakiyalakshmi who has just lost her father who happens to be my father's colleague in the village school.

Turning his back on love, on his soul, on his dreams and chopping off his wings, Gopinath with a broken heart and a forever bent head marries this village girl and twenty and some odd years pass by and he stumbles upon his old but gold love.

When you read this and read the way I have written this, you will step back and think ' Che, paavam Gopi'

Yes, that is how I am approaching this role unlike what the comments that are tearing apart my character in the youtube promos and maybe rightly so.

For, ironically my eldest son is in love with a girl and who he wants to marry and it is in this situation that his own father may or may not fall in love for I have no clue as to how the relationship with my old flame Radhika is going to be taken forward.

I only wish I could do some romantic scenes with the real actress Radhika for I have the hots for her and sadly, i could only play her brother and son in that ancient serial called " Arasi."

I closed my eyes and filled Gopinath with tragedy, love, respect and confusion and asked the character.

Does middle-age mean the end of life?

Does middle-age mean the end of love, okay new love?

Are our children everything in our life?

Do we need to sacrifice everything to keep them happy?

even when we are unhappy?

Are all married people happy and content?

Satish, you cranky, weird clown, how dare you ask us all these questions that are not supposed to be asked and whether man or woman, it is better to lock them away and get on with life and wait for death to come and take you out of your misery.

No, not even for a moment am I questioning the sanctity of marriage but what about those who are stuck in an unhappy life and those who don't even talk to each other and pass each other like strangers and yet like husband and wife under the same roof.