A flicker of hope-Suhana

Suhana's Corner: A flicker of hope keeps me afloat

Hi everyone. Although I am a positive personby nature, I do have my bouts of insecurities - especially in my current situation.

I can't help but ponder over the harsh reality and wonder what will happen to me if Ishaan never got his memory back. Will the family ask me to leave? Will they all move on while I pine for the love of my life Ishaan?

Last week, I was very angry with Ishaan for calling me shameless and the anger soon turned into despair over the turn of events in my life. Everyone at home noticed that something was amiss but I didn't want to upset the family by telling them what happened. I kept brooding over our heated exchange and felt helpless. Though Ishaan apologized to me, I was still restless. I was visibly hurt by what he had said and though I could see he felt guilty, I just wanted time to heal myself from the harsh words he inadvertently said. I just wanted him to remember the past which didn't happen obviously.

I couldn't sleep and didn't find peace anywhere in the house so I found myself on the terrace with Badi ma. I shared my worry regarding Ishaan with her and we had a heart to heart chat about love, life and loneliness. Perhaps the deep recess of the night that urges one to look inside their hearts and think about the things that matter the most. With the problems in my life, I felt very alone and sad. I used to think I would never understand Badi ma's pain of being away from her husband, but now I am experiencing the same pain. If your partner leaves you midway in life, it hurts like hell, it is painful and unbearable. One minute, you feel scared about the future, and the next second you are hopeful that maybe things will be fine soon. Badi ma has waited her entire life for Bade papa too. I wake up every morning with the hope that today could be the day that Ishaan will remember me and before sleeping every night, I feel scared, and wonder what if he forgot me forever- what will I do then? If he left me alone like Bade papa left Badi Ma, what will I do? I think about such things at times. I fear I might lose everything I care for in this family if Ishaan fails to recover including the love of his family members.

Dadji stopped Badi ma from leaving the house but according to Ishaan, I am Shashikala and as he doesn't remember me, what if the family is forced to let me go. Badi ma did assure me that things will be fine and won't come to that stage. And she added, if worse comes to worst, they will forcibly remind him of our marriage, despite doctor's orders. Her assurance felt really good. Now that I have a ray of hope, I will not let it go.

Later, Ishaan advised me to return to my husband, which naturally upset me and when Shivram came, I pretended to be angry at Ishaan and left with Shivram in a rickshaw. I got off mid way and went to Ishaan's favourite park and oddly, he too landed there. Ishaan and I had a lovely chat. He said he understood my sadness, loneliness and that he too is sad and lonely and is looking for something he has lost. I realised that Ishaan was truly disturbed when he said he won't be at peace till he recalled the past two years of his life.

He feels something is missing in his life and is worried about his past and future. He has begun to feel, he has left something important behind. I told him to have faith in his values, his family and their love. He felt the essence of our love and I feel hopeful he will remember me. I know Ishaan loves me and I love him, so I know the day when Ishaan remembers me, will come soon. Ishaan told me he feels deep in his heart that I am Suhana but he doesn't remember his relationship with Suhana. I feel you make relationship with people either with your heart or your mind, I am connected to Ishaan by heart and I know he will remember me.

Do write in to me about any similar experiences you might have experienced in life at suhana@starplus.in and don't forget to watch Sasural Genda Phool every Monday to Friday at 7.30 pm only on STAR Plus.

Fan comments

Bhairavi- Hey, I'm from Canada. I didn't know about SGP till I got pregnant. I started watching it as time pass in the winter. But now i'm adicted to it. You won't believe my 2 month old daughter smiles when she hears the music of SGP :-) no kidding! Very well taken serial and I just love it. It has changed my thinking in some manner. Suhana& badima can be role models for all girls and Sasumas. Thanks for making it so wonderful. All the best! Suhana, Rajanididi and Disha are beautiful DIL.
Suhana- Thank you so much for loving our show Sasuraal Genda Phool. We do our best to entertain all you loving fans out there. So keep watching and writing in to me.

Rabia- Hi suhana i just wanted to say dat i'm a great fan! I love you. it's really freaky coz my whole life is exactly da same as "suhanas" its so freaky, everything that happens in that drama happens to me at da same time including da *in tumor incident tooo anyways keep performing well and all da best :)
Suhana- I love you too Rabia. OMG really our lives are that similar? But I hope you get all the happiness and none of the sadness from my life. Take care.

Yousuf Razi - I Love your drama and i love the way you are acting i am really one of the best fan of your's and i have a one advice that keep the role in a positive or heroin side not in the negative or a villain side your simplicity in your acting is awsum and my prayers are always with you
Suhana- Thanks a lot for your love and support.

Srishti- hie Suhana. I like U and SGP vry vry much. i love ur acting. u r the best character in the show. due to my office tyming, i am nt able to see SGP so i hav to watch it on StarPlus's website, But that's not alwaz possible. Please keep a re-telecase of the show at 11pm or sumthing, as before. There r many ppl who cant watch it coz of their office tyming. I dont wana miss the show :)
Suhana- Hi Srishti, I have had many fans asking me to re telecast or change the timing of the re-telecast of the show but I am sure you must be aware it isn't in my hands to do so. But I will definitely pass this message to the STAR team and hope they look into it.

praveena -Hi suhana i'm a big fan of u. u look so good in that i'm regularly watching sasuraal genda phool. i'm eagerly waiting for the moment that ishaan will get back his memories of u.
Suhana- Well you and me both praveena. Even I am waiting for the day Ishaan regains his memory. Please pray that the day comes soon. Thanks for writing and for your support.

JITU RATHOD -hi suhana i watch your serial daily. This time i enjoy serial too much because of your acting And you are looking gorgeous in pink dress & sarees
Suhana- Thank you for all your lovely compliments.