Badi ma's husband: wrong or right? - Page 2

Lovely post!

I haven't seen the serial from the start. So, I'm not sure ... but I read or saw somewhere that everyone's marriage in the family is a love marriage except Ishan's. So I believe that Eshwar-Shailaja too had a love marriage.

In the parting letter Eshwar mentions that he doesn't love Shailaja any more and her presence or absence does not matter to him since he loves Meera and cant live without her. It makes me think that may be Eshwar never loved Shailaja in the first place and she was perhaps just an infatuation or fascination for him. So his failure to understand his own heart proved to be very dreadful for Shailaja. She had to pay a price for his immaturity and erred decisions ..... this is not done, not acceptable at all! Eshwar is at fault here.

Like Dadaji says, Eshwar cant be forgiven for deserting his own kids. Which father on earth will give a choice to the mother that if she is not willing to take the responsibilities of their kids then he will make arrangements for them! He is such an unloving, uncaring, irresponsible and mean father. Once again he is at fault here.

He breaks ties with his own parents and siblings who have loved him, cared for him all along! Well well ..... what a selfish and an opportunistic guy!

The only good thing he did is that he didn't keep Shailaja in the dark and confessed all his feelings to her. But this does not make up for all the bad things he has done. He ruined Shailaja's and his kids life for no fault of theirs. He might have found true love (which I doubt! Career-minded that he is, he must have married Meera just for green card sake!) but his bad deeds will come back to him one day!

Originally posted by: vishmewell

Great topic cute2stay. It was really heart breaking to see Badi maa in grief. Although that man wrote that he followed his heart, I still don't have an an ounce of respect for him. Did his heart not tell him he had a duty towards his parents? Did his heart not yearn for his own flesh and blood his children? The woman he lived with for 15 years and had children with her and justifies his actions that there is no more love in their marriage? How damn convenient it is to say there's no more love? Then what about his duties towards his children and parents?

It's not done... he is a selfish low or no moral guy... he is not worth shedding even a drop of tear. And Badi maa shed so many tears today... dadi dadi shed so many tears... 😭 the man is not worth it...

Thanks vishmewell! :) You can call me Pallavi btw.

You're absolutely right. I feel the same way. It's really hard to sympathize with this man seeing all the pain he has put his family through. And yeah, I guess you can't really justify his actions after all. Like you said, if this guy can't give love to his family who's been with him his whole life, there's no guarantee he can give love to anyone not even this Meera person. He puts himself, his own needs before that of his loved ones and yeah you're right, hurting your loved ones this much just can't be justified.

Thanks for your thoughts! :)

Originally posted by: Sweet_Misery

Well, personally to me what Badi ma's husband wrote in the letter came across as just one thing and that is SELFISH. It was all aboutmy career, my love, my life....my my my.pursuing all this he lostwhat he did have and that was sooo much morethan his ambitions.....his family, his wife, his kids, his parents. Obviously shows how people become blind in order to pursure their ambitions and are ready to crush everything that comes in their way of attaining it.

He did say that he is no longer in "love" with her (Badi maa)...and even though it hurts, the fact that people do fall out of love is very true. But what was selfish on his part was to desert not just his wife but also his own parents & children. How can a human being just walk away from FIFTEEN years of his life? Just because he did not love his wife any longer, did that also mean he had no love or affection for his children and his parents? And how can you just break everything with ONE letter.... I mean...one letter just brought down Badi maa's life & smashed it to pieces. How can one be sooo heartless?

Yes, he fell in love with another women but does that mean he could shun his entire family? Conscience naam ki koi cheez hai ki nahi? Obviously, nahi in his case. It seems like he wanted to just run away...from his old life & the responsibilites that came with it. Wanted to run to another part of the world where he was no longer a husband, a father, a son, a brother etc etc.

As far as I can see, nothing can justify his wrong doing. And he didn't just hurt the feelings of one person, he crushed the lives of everyone who loved him. He showed them big dreams of leading a better life and then left them standing in the dark.

Sanuuuuuuuuuuuuu!! Thanks haijee! 😳 🤗

Very well said yaar! 👏 I totally agree with every word! Esp. the highlighted bits in red! 👏

Yeah I liked how you said, ki this man pretty much ran away from his ENTIRE 15 years of life with ONE letter! As if he had no existence, no identity associated with this family of his! :S

And I can still ok understand ki he left Shailja cuz he didn't love her. So he provided an explanation to HER. But he never once even MENTIONED the rest of his family in that letter. He never gave them any explanation whatsoever.

And I LOVE how you've stated that last line in your post. What's worse is that he was actually "showing them dreams" like you said. He was actually leading them on to believe that he was working towards a better future for all of them. He took advantage of his family's love and faith in him.

I mean what's worse is that he actually shook his whole family's faith in HIM. And led them to doubt themselves. I mean for the rest of their lives they are going to be blaming themselves too ki what did we do wrong that our son/husband/brother/dad left us in this way.

It's kinda hard to believe ki someone part of SUCH a loving family can turn out so selfish. I guess love isn't enough for some people. And o just thought of something, it's almost like him and Suhana are total opposites. Here was this guy who had the love of so many people, such a loving and caring family, but he went after money, status etc....all these materialistic things. And then there is Suhana who had all this money etc. but is now surrounded by so much love. And she is craving for this love and understanding whereas this dude is the total opposite!

@ haaki.b: Thanks for your thoughts. I agree, I guess you can't justify his actions.

@111192: LOL I liked how you used that pig wala emoticon! Very true!

@brainychild92: That's a good point. Yeah, I remember it was stated once in the show that everyone had a love marriage except Ishaan. Ok that toh makes this guy's betrayal even worse! 🤢

Although, it could be that they weren't counting badi ma's marriage. But still breaking 15 years of your life with just ONE letter is not right in any way. Yeah, you're right, he should've provide some sort of closure if he wanted to end his marriage. Leaving his family to suffer was very unjustifiable, I agree!

Thanks for your thoughts guys! :)

@ Anshu_A and aarfar: Very well said guys! Excellent points!

@ Anshu_A: Yeah that's a good point actually. There are a lot of people looking for ways to get a green card and settle in the U.S. I really don't know what it is about that American dream as you said. It really blinds people so much as to desert their whole families and their life they have lived for so many years? Like you, I have also seen many people take extreme measures to get this oh so awesome green card. And yeah I have also seen people be miserable after because they have lost all family and are very lonely in life!

I am imagining this man to also face the same consequences. I guess that's what it means to take your family for granted. And this show really shows ki nothing is more important than family in your life!

Talking from personal experience too, our family is also away from India and we actually MISS our family and fun times in India SO much. Seriously, this show is AWESOME for showing people these values, ki career shareer, money, status whatever is NOT worth loosing your family over!

@ aarfar: Awesome points! I totally agree! Yeah, I also remember seeing in the show that everyone did have a love marriage. But yeah that still doesn't justify Eshwar's ( THANKS for reminding me of his name btw) actions.

Yeah good point, he also mentions in the letter that he'd "make arrangements for his kids"!!!! Seriously does he feel NO love for his kids at all? Unbelievable.

Aww yeah, I also think his actions will come back to him one day. They might even show us that in the show later on.

@ laxmi_s: Thanks! Awesome thoughts yaar! I completely agree.

Very selfish and irresponsible behaviour on his part. I guess he really took Shailja and his family for granted. You're right that he doesn't deserve their tears, but it's also not as simple as that na? I mean these kinds of traumatic incidents cannot be forgotten. And it's very hard to forget someone you've loved for so many years of your life. I guess it's such a shock that you can't recover so easily. A man you've trusted and loved for so many years, achanak se betrays you like this is VERY hard to forget. It kinda leaves a scar on you forever that way.

But ya let's hope ki Shailja and family get over this pain and loss slowly. They are doing an awesome job supporting each other through all this though!

Thanks for your awesome thoughts guys! I appreciate it! :)

Very good topic 👏. And very mature and sensible analysis by everyone 👏! Well all of you have mentioned every point, now I dont think there is anything much left for me to say, just few things here and there 😆...

Originally posted by: cute2stay

Thanks vishmewell! :) You can call me Pallavi btw.

You're absolutely right. I feel the same way. It's really hard to sympathize with this man seeing all the pain he has put his family through. And yeah, I guess you can't really justify his actions after all. Like you said, if this guy can't give love to his family who's been with him his whole life, there's no guarantee he can give love to anyone not even this Meera person. He puts himself, his own needs before that of his loved ones and yeah you're right, hurting your loved ones this much just can't be justified.

Thanks for your thoughts! :)

Thanks dewdroppearl! Great points. I agree with you completely. I honestly have nothing else to add, because you guys have said everything! I really appreciate you writing out your thoughts though! :)

And yeah, I don't think this kind of a pain can ever go away completely, but it can be lived with, with the help of the family members' love and support. I'm intrigued to see how they'll resolve this conflict of badi ma's in the show. Let's see. :)

And LOL there's another Pallavi as well? haha it's a pretty common name waisse. :P I haven't seen her around yet actually cuz I'm pretty new to this forum, but I hope I see my name twin person very soon. lol

Thanks again! :)

@ All: Loved reading all your comments.

Not sure if Eshwar had legally divorced Shailaja before marrying Meera. How is wish that the Kashyap family should have laid some trap and tricked Eshwar to come to India and Shailaja should have filed a case of Bigamy against him and got him arrested! This person deserves no sympathy whatsoever!

Originally posted by: aarfar

@ All: Loved reading all your comments.

Not sure if Eshwar had legally divorced Shailaja before marrying Meera. How is wish that the Kashyap family should have laid some trap and tricked Eshwar to come to India and Shailaja should have filed a case of Bigamy against him and got him arrested! This person deserves no sympathy whatsoever!

Originally posted by: cute2stay

Thanks dewdroppearl! Great points. I agree with you completely. I honestly have nothing else to add, because you guys have said everything! I really appreciate you writing out your thoughts though! :)

And yeah, I don't think this kind of a pain can ever go away completely, but it can be lived with, with the help of the family members' love and support. I'm intrigued to see how they'll resolve this conflict of badi ma's in the show. Let's see. :)

And LOL there's another Pallavi as well? haha it's a pretty common name waisse. :P I haven't seen her around yet actually cuz I'm pretty new to this forum, but I hope I see my name twin person very soon. lol

Thanks again! :)