Part Four
The rain had reduced to a light drizzle by the time Ahem and Gopi reached the mandir. They both got out of the car, and walked towards the mandir, still lost in their own worlds, silently walking up the mandir steps.
The steps were wet form the rain and Gopi slipped slightly. Before she realised what had happened, she felt Ahemji's strong arms closing around her, preventing her from falling. She looked up at him, and saw his eyes full of concern... concern for her… they seemed to stand like that for ages, until Gopi grew conscious of where they were.
"Thank you Ahemji" she murmured, "I am ok" hoping he would let go of her.
Ahemji cleared his throat, mumbling "Yes, ok... Be careful Gopi. There is lots of water on the ground." He released her arms and they continued up the steps.
Gopi was very puzzled... Ahemji was behaving so strangely lately, yelling at her and then suddenly being so kind and gentle, she didn't know what think... The day of Holi, she had been so happy, that beautiful afternoon, when he had wished her "Happy Holi" in front of the mandir, then chased her throwing colours at her playfully like Kanaji did with his beloved Radha, how they had tumbled onto their bed, and Ahemji had caressed her cheeks, and kissed her for the first time.. Gopi had felt like she was floating through the clouds. She thought Ahemji was happy to be with her, to have her in his life, she had felt like their marriage was starting anew...that Kanaji had answered all her prayers...
Then he had said he couldn't remember anything he had done on Holi..Gopi had felt her heart shatter into a million pieces when he spoke those words.. How could he forget... how could her Kanaji give her this fate... she had considered for a passing moment that perhaps Ahemji had regretted what had happened, that he wished he hadn't kissed her and that's why he was saying he couldn't remember, but she had dismissed the thought an instant later. She knew in her heart her Ahemji wasn't like that... he was a good, honourable man, despite everything that had happened between them, she felt he would never intentional hurt her.. He had genuinely forgotten… she had thought about telling him, telling him everything that had happened between them on Holi, but she found she couldn't bring herself to do this... and now every time he came close to her, she involuntarily felt herself drawing back from him, scared of being hurt again... She didn't think she could bear another heartbreak...
The clang of a bell bought Gopi back to the present and Gopi realised the punditji was asking her something.
'Ji, we wanted to do puja for my Rashiben and pray to Kanaji to help her get better soon." She responded.
The punditji nodded and began the puja. Gopi closed her and held her hands together silently praying, 'Kanaji, please take care of my Rashiben... she is a good person at heart Kanaji. Please help her to see again and take away her pain. Please also give your blessings for my family, and keep us happy and together. Please Kanaji, help me to be a good daughter. Please help me to be a good wife to Ahemji, to keep him happy. Please watch over my Ahemji always Kanaji"
She opened her eyes and saw Ahemji standing next to her, his eyes closed tightly, his hands clasped together in prayer. Oh Kanaji, he is so handsome.. Gopi blushed at her thoughts. She recalled what he had said in the car... "You are my first priority". If he had said that to her a year ago, Gopi would have been on cloud nine, but now she stopped herself from being too hopefully... she was his wife... maybe he felt it was his duty...
Gopi saw Ahemji opening his eyes and quickly looked away... he doesn't like you staring at him remember she thought to herself...
The Punditji came towards them with the puja thali and they both took blessings. He then gave them Prasad to take home. Gopi took this and thanked the Punditji and then turned to leave pausing as she noticed Ahemji looking at her, as though he was about to say something.
'Ahemji, aap ko kuch chahiye".. "Nahin Gopi, kuch nahin. Let's go home. "muttered Ahem, his eyes looking despondent.
Ahemji seems so worried today, maybe he is worried about work, she thought.. I better stay out of his way; otherwise he will get annoyed and get disturbed him from his work...
They made their way home, and stood at the front door, waiting for someone to open it... After a while, the door opened and Maaji stood in front of them.
"Gopi Vahu, Ahem dikra... finally you are home... I was worried about you... Gopi Vahu, your clothes are all wet... here, give me the bags I will sort that, you go upstairs and change quickly, otherwise you will catch a cold." Maaji said, fussing over Gopi,
"Ji Maaji, I will change quickly and come help you with making dinner." Gopi responded, glad that her Maaji was not upset at her for taking so long with the shopping.
"Saaru, Gopi Vahu... " Kokila said, before turning her attention onto Ahem" Ahem, Shall I make you some green tea."
"Nahin Mom, I am ok. I will go upstairs and do some work in our room. When dinner is ready I will come down."
"Theek hai" with that, Kokila turned and headed towards the kitchen, and Gopi and Ahem went upstairs to their room.
Gopi entered their room and quickly went to wardrobe to get a fresh change of clothes. As she headed to the bathroom, she glanced over at Ahemji, who was seated on the couch, staring at his laptop. Gopi bite her lip wondering if she should ask him if she would help him with whatever was troubling him then shaking her head thinking she would be only be a adding to his worries, and entered the bathroom.
~~~
Ahem was deep in thought.. He had wanted to speak to Gopi at the temple itself, to see if he could get her to open up to him on what had been troubling her the last few days... but he had decided against it once after they had reached the mandir... he still had no idea how Gopi felt about him, about them, but he had felt her flinch ever so slightly when he had stopped her from tripping on the mandir steps.. He wasn't even sure if Gopi had realised she had done it, but at that moment Ahem had realised he had to do a lot to make Gopi feel comfortable around him... Until she was, she would not openly speak to him he felt... Sitting in their room, Ahem pondered on how he would do this...
He heard the bathroom door open and glanced up to see Gopi quietly walk out, towel drying her hair... Ahem couldn't pry his eyes away from, watching as she ambled over to the dresser, not realising Ahem was watching her, her mind occupied with other thoughts it seemed.. Ahem continued to watch her, as she combed her hair and then began to pin her hair back... Ahem wished she would leave it down, she looked so lovely when her hair was down…he thought, mesmerised by her long black locks.. As she moved about, Ahem caught glimpses of the smooth fair skin of her waist and wondered what is would feel like to run his hands across her stomach...
Wait what? He had been daydreaming of doing what... Ahem found his own cheeks growing warm at his thoughts... he looked back towards Gopi and realised she had finished getting ready and was about to leave the room.
He called out to her, before she left the room.
She paused and then scrambled to get her pallu on a head, before turning to face him and saying "Ji Ahemji?" her eyes downcast.
"Can you bring me a green tea" asked Ahem willing her to look up so he could see her eyes... Unfortunately this did not happen, as Gopi meekly responded "Ji Ahemji, I will bring for you" then turned and walked out the room, her eyes never looking up.
This girl was going to drive me mad! Thought Ahem... before she use to look at him longing all the time and now, when he actually wanted her to look at him she seemed to avoiding him at all costs.. And that damn pallu of hers... Ahem dikra, you have to do something about that pallu... Ahem leaned back into the sofa and starred at the ceiling... How was he going to make Gopi comfortable... pretty soon a plan had formed in his mind and Ahem found himself grinning…? Ahem dikra you are a genius! He thought to himself.
He pulled his laptop closer and started to check a few things... soon he heard the sound of bangles clinking and realised Gopi was approaching their room with his green tea... he pretended to be absorbed in his work and waited for her to come into the room and place the tea on the table…
'Ji, aap ki green tea' she timidly said. 'Thank you Gopi he said, looking up.. And saw that once again she had the pallu on her head... She turned to head out of the room but Ahem quickly reached forward and grabbed her hand. She turned back and looked at him, her eyes still looking worried.
"Gopi," Ahem began, "do you remember earlier today we were in here and I was holding your arm..." he knew she would blush thinking of the moment, and almost on cue, he saw her cheeks turning pink... she nodded in response.. "Well you remember you promised you would do something I asked you?" Again she nodded...
"Gopi, I want you to stop rushing to have pallu on your head whenever you see me. In fact I would rather you didn't have pallu on your head at all"
Gopi looked at him with a look of shock on her face..."Lekin Ahemji, how can I do this? She looked down, and Ahem could see she was biting her lower lip furiously. She was mumbling softly.. 'you are my husband Ahemji, I have to wear pallu and also Maaji will get upset, Ahemji, how can I do this..."
Ahem stood up and turned Gopi so she was facing him. "Gopi, I am sorry, I didn't mean to upset you with this request.. it's just that whenever you see me you scramble to put the pallu on and I have to wait until you do that before I can speak to you.. it's very annoying for me" Ahem knew he was taking a small liberty with the truth here.. the pallu itself was the annoying thing, but he figured this was easier for Gopi to accept.. "but I understand what you are saying.. and I don't Mom to get upset either.. How about this.. when we are outside this room, you can still wear the pallu but when we are in our room and alone, you don't pull the pallu ok.. Is that ok with you? Ahem spoke gently and kept his voice controlled, not wanting to scare Gopi.
Gopi looked up and offered a small smile. "Ji, okay Ahemji.."
Ahem hesitated for a second but could not resist, reaching up and lifting Gopi's pallu down off her head… He smiled down at her "Thank you Gopi… and thank you for bringing me my green tea".. "It's my pleasure, "responded Gopi, and smiling she walked out of the room..
Ahem watched her walk out, giving himself a mental pat on the back.,. he realised this was only a small step but it was a step forward.. now to put the rest of his plan into action he thought.
~~~
again, the pace is a bit slow, but I felt I had to fill what was in Gopi's mind.. hope you enjoy.. and do please give your feedback..
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