Posted:
Originally posted by: avivakirk
You excelled at comedy. I loved it.read it when I came back from school:
The parts that got me were1) Gopi concerned abt nangu pangu Ahem's reputation
2) Pecking on her blouse Tut Tut Ahemji Naughty Naughty
3) Aham was thinking I was only having a bit of fun Gopi.Really u want us to believe that Ahamji
4) Kukureeekoo, Kukureeekoo yikes Urmi desperately wants to be a cock in the MB household
5) cocknapping party. Wow Nafi u had me there in stitches
6) Ahemji breaking the spell and becoming starknaked
7) Ahemji grabbing buck toothed 's saree & covering himself
8) Chest bare! Didn't u pass out when u saw his bare chest?
9) The happy ending!
I could go and on. 👏👏👏 Good job
Eli, just a bit of fun, but I was laughing as I was thinking of things and typing them, sometimes really struggling to type because I had myself giggling so hard
Pecking of the blouse, the cock making it's way through into the blouse, I thought people might feel overstepped the bounds, but I was enjoying myself with the naive Gopi and the naughty Aham who was giving free reign to his baser instincts.
The only having a bit of fun remark I took from any cheeky chappy type of thought, you know the type.
Kukureekoo I remembered as her cockerel call to steal the sandook, and now even more relevant in this story as they is a cock in the house, the residents won't question where is the cock sound coming from if they know Aham is the cock...😆😆
cocknapping rather then kidnapping, because though you can use kidnapping for all types of abduction I think it suits only abduction of kids, so slight twist there.
Aham breaking the spell and transforming back to human form but being stark naked, came to me because of Terminator films, I think it was is Terminator 1 when Arnold Schwarzenegger time travelled to earth from the future and landed naked, and I was thinking when Aham shrank he shrugged off his clothes in part 1 so where are the clothes going to come from on his transformation, also it made it funny for him to be parading naked and totally proud of this...😆😆
Grabbing Urmila's saree to cover himself...I was thinking if Urmila is a witch normally what they do in villages is pull the saree off and parade them in front of everyone, once they cut their hair, so that was Urmila's parade of shame through Rajkot. Also, I wanted Aham covered but not all the way, like women do, so I made him drape the saree as a Lungi and that's it, with the bare musles on the chest exposed...😍I'm day dreaming about it right now.
I wanted the ending to be of a more confident and happy Gopi, one not afraid of her husband and one not shy or afraid of revealing what would satisfy her sexually...😳I thought the ending was good and tried to make it slightly funny with Aham wanting the feathers to recreate for Gopi the evening before when he was a chicken and when he made the buck buck buck sound.
I'm glad you enjoyed it Eli.
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