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What time is it when you have to go the dentist?
Tooth Hurty!
Who likes to drink cocoa?
A Cocoanut!
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What did one eye say to the other eye?
Between you and me, something smells.
What did the teacher say when it rained cats and dogs?
Be careful not to step on a poodle!
What is even smarter than a talking bird?
A Spelling Bee!
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Who is the greatest underwater spy?
James POND!
What sickness does a martial artist have?
Kung FLU!
What happens if you take a one hundred foot dive into a glass of gingerale?
Nothing! It's a SOFT drink!
Why did the students eat their homework?
Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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What kind of a storm is always in a rush?
A Hurry Cain!
Why are there gates around graveyards?
Because everybody is DYING to get in!
What do you get if you mix a car, a fly, and a dog?
A flying carpet!
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What do you call a worm with no teeth?
A gummy worm!
What lies on the bottom of the ocean and shakes?
A nervous wreck!
How did the telephone propose to the lady?
It gave her a ring!
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What pet does everyone have?
An Armpet!
What did the nut say when it sneezed?
"Cashew"!
What table can we eat?
A vegeTABLE!
Which is faster: Hot or Cold?
Hot, 'cause you can catch a cold!
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Why did the man with one hand cross the road?
To get to the second-hand shop!
Why does "A" look like a flower?
Because "B" follows it!
Why did the boy tiptoe towards the medicine cabinet?
Because he didn't want to wake the sleeping pills!
What did Cinderella say to the photographer?
I want my "prints" back!
What is a cannibal's favourite game?
Swallow the Leader!
Why couldn't the teddy bear eat his dessert?
He was stuffed!
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What does a farmer use to count his cattle?
A COWculator!
Why didn't the skeleton dance?
Because he had no body to dance with!
Who won when the two waves raced?
They tide!
Why did the boy put lipstick on his head?
Because he wanted to make up his mind!
What happened to the dog that swallowed a watch?
It got ticks!
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Who is the ruler of the beach?
The Sand-witch!
Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel Prize?
Because he was out standing in his field!
Which cat would you never play poker with?
A Cheetah!
Why did the kid cross the park?
To get to the other slide!
Why couldn't the pirates play cards?
Because the captain was sitting on the deck!
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What do you get when you a cross a vampire with a snowman?
Frostbite!
What do you call a fish without eyes?
A fsh!
Why did the child bring his dad to school?
'Cause he had a POP quiz!
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When a duck has no money, what does it tell the waiter?
"Put it on my bill!"
Why doesn't Dracula have friends?
'Cause he's a pain in the neck!
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Nothing. It just waved!
Why was the baby ant confused?
Because all of his uncles were ants!
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Why can't a nose be twelve inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot!
When is a door not a door?
When it's aJAR!
Why do people carry umbrellas?
Because umbrellas can't walk!
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Why do sharks swim in salt water?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze!
What is in a ghost's nose?
BOO-gers!
What did the man say when the church burnt down?
Holy Smoke!
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Why can't you tell jokes to an egg?
Because it will crack up!
Why didn't the third grader go the pirate movie?
Because it was rated "ARRR"!
What has wheels and flies?
A garbage truck!
Why did the grizzly put on pyjamas?
Because he was bear naked!
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Anupamaa
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