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esseesse

@esseesse

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 14 years ago

#21

What he says - the lie: "I can't find it"

What he means - the truth: "I can't see it, it didn't fall into my
hands, so it must not exist"

What he says - the lie: "It's a guy thing"

What he means - the truth: "There's no rational thought pattern
connected with it. It also explains my unjustifiable behaviour"

What he says - the lie: "Can I help with dinner?"

What he means - the truth: "Why isn't it already on the table?"

What he says - the lie: "I'm getting more exercise lately"

What he means - the truth: "The batteries in the remote (for TV) are
dead"

What he says - the lie: "We're going to be late"

What he means - the truth: "I have a legitimate reason for driving
like a maniac"

What he says - the lie: "Take a break honey, you're working too hard"

What he means - the truth: "I can't hear the television over the
vacuum cleaner"

What he says - the lie: "That's interesting darling"

What he means - the truth: "Are you still talking?"

What he says - the lie: "We don't need material things to prove our
love"

What he means - the truth: "I forgot our anniversary again".

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amukta

@amukta

Dazzler

Posted: 14 years ago

#22

THE CASE AGAINST LORD KRISHNA

A nun in Warsaw, Poland, filed a case against ISKCON (International Society for Krishna Consciousness). The case came up in court.
The nun remarked that ISKCON was spreading its activities and gaining followers in Poland. She wanted ISKCON banned because its followers were glorifying a character called Krishna "who had loose morals," having married 16,000 women called Gopikas.
The ISKCON defendant to the Judge: "Please ask the nun to repeat the oath she took when she was ordained as a nun."
The Judge asked the nun to recite the oath loudly. She would not.
The ISKCON man asked whether he could read out the oath for the nun.
Go ahead, said the judge.
The oath said in effect that 'she (the nun) is married to Jesus Christ'. The ISKCON man said, "Your Lordship! Lord Krishna is alleged to have 'married' 16,000 women. There are more than a million nuns who assert that they are married to Jesus Christ. Between the two, Krishna and the nuns, who has a loose character?"

The case was dismissed'

Edited by amukta - 14 years ago

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esseesse

@esseesse

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 14 years ago

#23

Originally posted by: set_raj
Ek yug tha jab log apne ghar ke dwar pe likhte the: ATITHI DEVO BHAVA
Phir likha: SHUBH LABH
Phir likhne lage: U R WELCOME
Aur ab likhte hain: KUTTON SE SAVDHAAN

🤣

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Rajesh

@set_raj

Inactive

+ 4

Posted: 14 years ago

#24

Nobody is ever satisfied,

Poor men wish they were rich,

Rich men wish they were handsome,

Bachelors wish they were married

& Married men wish they were Dead!

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esseesse

@esseesse

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 14 years ago

#25

The inventor of the Harley Davidson Motorcycle Corporation, Arthur
Davidson, died and went to heaven.
At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur, "since you've been such a good
man and your motorcycles have changed the world,your reward is, you
can hang out with anyone you want in Heaven.
"Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, "I want to hang
out with God." St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and
introduced him to God.
God recognized Arthur and commented, "Okay, so you were the one who
invented Harley motorcycles, eh?!"
Arthur said, "Ya, that's me..."
God commented, "Well, whats the big deal about inventing something
that's pretty unstable, makes noise and pollution, and can't run
without a road!"
Arthur was apparently embarrassed, but finally spoke, Excuse me but
aren't you the inventor of woman???"
God said, "Ah, yes." Well said Arthur, "professional to professional,
you have some major design flaws in your invention. "
1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusion;
2. It chatters constantly at high speeds;
3. Most of the rear ends are too soft and wobble too much;
4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust;
5. And the maintenance costs are outrageous!!"
"Hmmmm, you may have some good points there," replied God, "hold on."
God went to his Celestial supercomputer, typed in a few words and
waited for the results. The computer printed out a slip of paper and
God read it.
"Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed," God said to
Arthur, "but according to these numbers, more men are riding my
invention than yours."

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amukta

@amukta

Dazzler

Posted: 14 years ago

#26

COMPLETE & FINISHED

Some People think there is no difference between *COMPLETE *& *FINISHED*

What do you think ??

Now read the clever version.

When you marry the right one, you are *COMPLETE*....

And when you marry the wrong one, you are *FINISHED*.....

And when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are...

*COMPLETELY FINISHED *

Edited by amukta - 14 years ago

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esseesse

@esseesse

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 14 years ago

#27

> > >Teacher : Why are you late?
> > >L-Johny : Because of the sign.
> > >Teacher : What sign?
> > >L-Johny: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."

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Rajesh

@set_raj

Inactive

+ 4

Posted: 14 years ago

#28

Jail Mein Bholu Ka Dost Us

Se Milne Aata Hai aur Usse Poochta Hai, Tum Se Aisi Kya Galti Ho Gayi Ki Tum Jail Mein Ho?.

Bholu ne kaha: Maine Ne Bank Loota, Lekin Paise Wahin Ginne Baith Gaya.

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amukta

@amukta

Dazzler

Posted: 14 years ago

#29

THREE DREAMS OF A MAN

Three dreams of a man,
To be as handsome as his mother thinks..
To be as rich as his child believes..
To have as many women as his wife suspects...
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* *********
There's only one perfect child in the world & every mother has it.
There's only one perfect wife in the world & every neighbor has it.
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* *********
Husband & wife are like liver and kidney.
Husband is the liver & wife the kidney.
If the liver fails, the kidney fails.
If the kidney fails, the liver manages with other kidney.
*********** ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* *********
What's the diff between Dava & Daru?
Dava is like a girlfriend, that comes with an expiry date and
Daru is like a wife, 'Jitni purani hogi utna sir pe chadegi...'
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* *********
Wife ko Begum kyon kehte hain?
Kyonki shaadi ke baad saare gum to husband ke hisse mein aate hain aur
wife Be-Gum ho jaati hai...
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* *********
The Japanese have produced a camera that has such a fast shutter speed it
can take a picture of a woman with her mouth shut!
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* *********
Q. What is the difference between WATCH & WIFE?
Ans : Ek bigadti hai to 'BANDH ' ho jati hai, doosri bigadti hai to
'SHUROO' ho jati hai.
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* *********
Q. What's the similarity between MOBILE and MARRIAGE ?
Ans : In both cases you feel 'aur thoda ruk jata to accha model milta.'
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* *
Ek admi ne sadhu se kaha, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upaaye bataiye.
Sadhu bola, Upaaye hota to main sadhu kyoon banta
--

Suni sunai baaton par vishwas karna parta hai...

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Kinu

@kinu17

Sparkler

+ 7

Posted: 14 years ago

#30

Originally posted by: set_raj
Jail Mein Bholu Ka Dost Us

Se Milne Aata Hai aur Usse Poochta Hai, Tum Se Aisi Kya Galti Ho Gayi Ki Tum Jail Mein Ho?.

Bholu ne kaha: Maine Ne Bank Loota, Lekin Paise Wahin Ginne Baith Gaya.

😆😆😆

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