Astitva....Anami ka

This is for Anami...

This is her inner turmoil, her feelings, which she may be going through every moment, when her own existence has been a question, a controversy. How she must be feeling alienated, after being uprooted from her own secure world, which she called her home. And as we all know, she is a fighter, and fight back she will, for herself and for the purpose of her own existence, her Astitva...

Ek aboojh paheli ban gaya hai mera jeevan

Kitne hi prashno se vichlit hai mera ye mann

Kya itni buri hoon ki maa ne hi mujhey thukraaya

Andar jo itna dukh hai kyon usse samajh na aaya

Kyon Astitva par mere itna bada prashna-chinh hai

Parayo ne toh kya, apno ne bhi muh phera hai

Bhole ye kaisi pareeksha le raha hai

Hamare hi prashno ke humse hi uttar le raha hai

Koi swayam ko kaise pramaanit karega

Hamesha Satya hi kyo agnipareeksha dega

Pandit ki beti hoon, jeevan ko dekha hai

Aage badhtey jaao, ye unse hi seekha hai

Ye jeevan hai, sangharsh iss ka naam hai

Chakravyuh mein vijayee hona, yehi mera karm hai...

Aboojh= unresolved

Paheli= puzzle

Jeevan= life

Thukraaya= rejected

Astitva= Existence

Prashna-chinh= question mark

Paraya= others

Pareeksha= Test

Swayam= self

Pramaanit= prove

Sangharsh= struggle

Originally posted by: Arshi67

You have portrayed Anami's feelings so beautifully. It is the teachings instilled in her by her Shradh Pandit, which gives her the wisdom beyond her years. But ultimately the ability to use that wisdom lies with her.

The feeling of rejection does not just go away however logically you look at it. The question is how she will rise above it rather than negate it. That will be the true sangharsh she will need to move past to break the chakravyuh.

Originally posted by: ttt1

Really beautiful
You captured the emotions so aptly :-)

Originally posted by: Dreamer-89

You've captured Anami in a nutshell after the Lal mahal and her mother entered her small happy world. Lal mahal and Satrupa both are puzzling and a cause of discomfort Inside her. She's wary of the unknown that's lying open before her, she's lost about her identity at the moment.

Pathaks brought her up ,letting her know their true relationship with her, a relationship not by blood but by destiny! So secure was she in her world, she was unaware that the fate that brought her into Pandits life is plotting another journey for her back to the womb and blood that she belongs to!!

Such are the ways of life, mysteriousand unpredictable. But it's a journey predestined and planned out. There's only one option gather the scattered puzzle pieces of life, walk the Unknown path as the journey progresses one realises the journey was not about figuring others out but rediscovering one's true self.

Anami is on that journey of rediscovering herself. The Pathaks have nurtured her, instilled values in her and there's a strength of character in her. But now the time for testing of those values have come, of discovering herself as a person an individual, not as Pathaks daughter nor as Satrupa's but just Anami!!

Originally posted by: Ecrivain.

Mimosa

Please accept by sincere apologies for not being able to comment on your previous posts that were so blissfully poignant and heart touching as you delved deeper into the minds and emotions of the characters. It was an unmindful slip since I was pre-occupied with work. But I wont let this opportunity slip away.

Anami, the fair maiden whose the refection of her birth mother's aggressive self, exhibiting placid disposition of inherent traits drawn from Satrupa, one she rebuffs blatantly, yet, at heart she is only a pious soul, who has been ripped apart from her happy bubble and been thrust upon on an unsuspecting family that refuses to acknowledge her sheer presence as the legit heir to the legacy that rightfully belongs to her.

And with time, the rebuff does little to dampen her ardour as she sets out to unravel the mystery/ chakravyuh that surrounds her and her deceased brother, battling the naysayers, seeking the support of an adversary in the guise of an ally, and rebutting the designs of an honest protector.

With the outcome debatable, it will be interesting to see where and how does the perusal take Anami, to her safe haven in Benaras, or will she be bound to Lal Mahal for an eternity and beyond.

Great post, Mimosa, keep them coming.

Originally posted by: -MIMOSA-

Hi Ecrivain,

Please don't apologise dear. Work comes first.

Thank you so much for stopping by and adding your valuable comment here.

You write so well Ecrivain. How beautifully you have described Anami's characteristics. She is full of energy and courageous. Full of optimism and is a dare devil. She is unstoppable, despite all the hardships on her way. Only thing she lacks here is, her inability to see through the pretences. Call it her naivety or lack of experience. She is unable to look beyond the masks, people are wearing. The mask Satrupa is wearing, the mask Narottam is wearing, or now the mask, Sudha is showing her. She is falling into the trap. I think will come as a biggest lesson to her, when she would encounter their true faces. And then, she will choose the right side and the real battle will start.

Thanks again for your encouragement and appreciation Ecrivain.

I would love to see your comments on my other posts too, whenever you have time. 😊