A DiRa OS- My Exile, My Freedom! - Page 2

Originally posted by: nancy505

It was like living inside Ratan. Totally...

Ayesha you nailed it 👏 You summed up his whole life in one story. Brilliant! Simply brilliant.

You compared the panic room with a grave. Yes, it is a grave,though you said it's not, but it is, it felt ,its a grave. No one was there for him. Ratan all alone thinking about his life, his past, his Diya. Ayesha, the way you described or I should say the way the story begin with his surrounding than drove to emotional hangover and than his confession to himself, in one word magnificent. Personally I love this type of story, I don't know what genre it is but this type of physiological self realization turns on the bulb of the readers. It shakes their soul and today I am shook by Ratan's conversation with himself (I don't know if there is any precise word to describe it). Yes, Ayesha your words shook me. In simple word rona aa gaya yaar 😭 Or kya kahu? Mujhe to Ratan ke liya bohot bura lag raha hai. I know you must be smiling and thinking kaha se yeh baccha aa gaye, but believe me I am seriously feeling bad for him. I really can not believe that I am feeling bad for a fictional character.

I didn't felt for a moment that it is written by you. Too different from your other writing. I don't know why it felt that it is written by some guy. I don't know, why. Totally amazing Ayesha. Allah tumhe hamesha khush rakhe.

Originally posted by: nancy505

Angel, chodi pakdi gayi. What are you doing in the forum?

Originally posted by: mrs_weasley

I had made a self imposed exile that I will not post till my exams even if I visit the forum for updates... But your skills have made me break free from that...!!😆

If this isn't perfection I do not know what is! Really, I mean it!! Jis tarah tumne itni simplicity se itni complex emotional journey ko portray kiya hai it's truly commendable!!! 👏👏

The way the story began by showing how the room seemed to Ratan as if it were his tomb and the slight suffocation that the room caused in mind was so real... The way he felt chained in there... Poignant and sad... actually even gut wrenching to some extent... I wanted to run to him and bring him to my place... 😭

Then the amazing continuity through which his emotions transitioned from respect, to love and then to protectiveness... It was just magical... There's no other word for it... If a writer manages to make her readers flow with her words and drown in those emotions it is simply called magic... And this Ayesha is exactly what you've done... You've left us under a spell...

I must mention about the slight touches and details that you've so wonderfully added... Like how in his school days he wasn't allowed to go out on trips with his friends and how he had to take special training for a lot of stuff... And then how he felt her hand tremble when she slapped him... These master strokes have made this such a perfect piece of writing...

Amazing work Ayesha...

YOU.TOTALLY.ROCK 👏👏

Hats off to you!!!! Absolutely amazing!!!

Originally posted by: VARUNI2014

thank u ayesha ..excellent write up ..

really u have excellent imagination