Why? Just Why?
Where were you when I saw my Mum sitting there with eyes all pained, hurt looming from their depths, her face stricken with the thought of being unloved....Why didn't you surface then, flooding the gates making me to run for the infallible safety of her arms?....Why didn't you bring about a storm within me, shaking my very core for being the cause of her misery?...Why didn't you gave me the courage to go whip that unbelievable pain from her eyes. Why didn't you became my words telling her that in her resides my God, that if there was anything right amidst so much wrong then it was Her that the fact that I belonged to her was my most beautiful blessing. Why just why couldn't you make me beg her to see and believe that i not just love her but instead I worship her God might be the creator of this world but She was my creator?my soul originated form her?and perhaps one day would merge into nothing but her?.
Where were you when my best friend was collecting all her belongings and dumping them all in that bag, which would be soon locked and chained, all set to take her off in a new pedestal of life....Why did you allow me to just stand there outside the room watching her from hidden view, seeing her desperate attempt to take away as many memories as she possibly could....why couldn't you push me towards her, forcing me to hug her hard, telling me that perhaps this is the last time i was sharing this hug, why couldn't you just made me hold her in a way that would have told her ki i can't let her go ki wherever i would go in the course of my life a part of her would always be with me watching over me thumping me up when I am right, giving me that same stern look when I am wrong. Why didn't you give me the strength to turn around and see her walk away, see her fading into space, yet you making me stand there transfixed with the flash of realization in this moment of farewell that we would always be an eternity....?
Where were you when he was nuzzling someone else's neck? Why didn't you pierced through my eyes in a burning stab of jealousy? why did you just hung like a lump, curling and clawing at my hurt till the time when the wounds became incurable, why did u allow me to ignore the pang I feel every time he looks at me with cold uncaring eyes when inside I was dying to see his eyes light up with a shimmer whenever he had me in his gaze? why did u let me live in the veneer of hatred and denial why couldn't you make me accept that he was part of my secretest of yearning, that somehow he had managed to become part of the reasons which justified my existence in this universe, that my soul had transcended through umpteen number of universes in search of just one more fragment for its completion and somehow he happened to be the possessor of THAT same fragment?.why couldn't you just make me accept?that?this is what is called being in love?...
Where were you when people were throwing daggers at me, labeling me as callous and inhuman, why did you allow them to take me as a stone with no feelings? Why didn't' you told them all, that just because YOU didn't come to my rescue doesn't mean that I am emotionally dead, that just coz u didn't smeared my face with your stainS doesn't mean I can't feel, that just coz u didn't made my eyes all puffy as a show of my feelings doesn't mean they too would turn blind to my love? that just coz YOU were always UNFAITHFUL to me doesn't mean people have the liberty to come play havoc with my heart?that just coz I try to be strong doesn't mean I don't need you?that just coz my voice didn't reach you doesn't mean I am not calling out to you?No. even I am calling out to you at the top of my lungs, struggling desperately with the need to feel you drop from the corners of my eyes and to feel you fall and as you fall along the course of my cheeks your cold droplets would spread like a blanket of calm wrapping me in the folds of my own arms making me feel as if for the first time am hugging divinity and suddenly as you would be prepairing to leave my cheeks and fall to my feet I would actually feel the weight lifting from my heart and suddenly everything would seem so light as if iI found my wings back and I am all set to take my flight the those orange hues in the sky..yeah even i have been struggling since time immemorial to have the fortune of being testimoy to the sacred sight of seeing you wash away all my pain.....its just that I am waiting for someone to whisper in my ears...that.. sometimes its OKAY to cry....it REALY is..
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