They say that a lack of sleep can cause a person to go insane. Rudra had never believed that. His prisoners, who were never given a moment's rest, had never lost their sanity. They were still sane even when they were dying. So this correlation made no sense to Rudra...until right now.
Rudra was on the ground in the cellar with his eyes closed. He remembered sitting with Paro in this very place many times before. But now, it was just him, alone, in the cellar. She was gone, and he was back to square one. He was going to have to get up eventually. He couldn't stay down here and hold on to Paro's memories. He was going to have to let go, so why wasn't he?
With a heavy sigh, Rudra opened his eyes, only to have them widen at the sight before him. Parvati was standing, dressed in the black ghagra choli he had given her, staring at the various weapons on the table. Her back was facing him. She wasn't touching them, she was just looking at them intently. Rudra shot up as if he were on fire. He had seen her to do this once before, and now she was doing it again. He slowly walked up to her, still not sure as to how or when she came back. He was right behind her and extended his hand to touch her.
"Paro what are you-."
The minute those words left his mouth, the vision before him shattered like glass and vanished. Rudra jumped back and shook his head furiously. Paro was just there, and she just...she just shattered. Was she really there a second ago?
He needed to get out of the cellar. That was the problem. Everything in here reminded him of her. If he got out, she would go away. Rudra sprinted up the steps and got out of the cellar. He shut the doors, locked it, and rolled the rug over it again. That should do the trick. But he was wrong. The minute Rudra turned around he was shell-shocked to see Paro asleep in his bed. He moved closer to her slowly and observed with caution. She was fast asleep. Her hair was fanned out over his pillow, caressing her face tenderly. A smile still played on her lips in her sleep. Rudra knew he was imagining things. He was hallucinating, but he didn't want this to end.
The minute he accepted the falsity of the image before him, it disappeared like grains of sand in the wind. Rudra sat down on the bed and ran his hand against the sheets where her image laid a moment ago. She had only been gone for an hour, and yet he was already hallucinating. Was he going to spend the rest of his life imagining her around him? Was he going to go insane thinking about her? Would he be able to live his life without her near him?
Rudra remembered all their moments together. He had an honest indifference towards her when they first met. However, he remembered that moment when he took in her appearance and felt some bizarre feeling within him. He disregarded it then as nothing, but now he knew that it was something. The first time he had cared for anyone was when Paro had fallen ill. He regretted pouring the bucket of icy water on her. At least she had gotten better. Rainy days carried the most memories for them. He learned so much about her and her family. She had broken him. He opened up to her and she hadn't run away learning about the deeds he had done. Paro had unknowingly found the real Rudra that had been locked within him all these years. He trusted her, more than anyone else, even more than thakur-sa. He loved her. He didn't know since when, but knew that it had been going on within him for awhile. Rudra loved Paro, and he would only love Paro until the day he died.
That would be the harsh reality he would live with for the rest of his life. Rudra loved her, but couldn't have her. He wished he could see her one more time, just to look at her once more long enough to last him a lifetime. Suddenly, it hit him. Parvati was gone. He let her go...alone. He looked out the window. It was night now. Who knows where she could be? What if something happened to her? What if thakur-sa's men find her? How could he have been so irresponsible? Rudra grabbed his black leather jacket from the cupboard and his keys before darting out of his house. He had to find Paro to make sure she was safe. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if anything happened to her.
He searched and searched but found no sign of her. It was as if she had disappeared from Chandangarh. Rudra felt sick to his stomach. He rode around various streets and alleys. He even searched the shady parts of the city, even though he hoped that she wasn't there. But thankfully, there was no sign of her there. He shouted her name at the top of his lungs over and over again, waiting for a response, but none came. Internally, he was panicking out of his mind. How far could she have gotten in an hour? What if she had taken a taxi? What if the taxi driver was one of Tejawat's men and he recognized her? Oh God, what if they...No! The mere thought made Rudra rev his engine and speed up.
It was getting late, and the hope of finding Parvati was beginning to fade. He had practically searched all of Chandangarh, and he couldn't find her. Never in his life had he felt so helpless. He had always been strong, never one to give up, but this feeling he was having right now was awful. It was as if a parasite was inside of him, slowly and painfully devouring his insides. If only there was some way to find Paro. Right now, Rudra knew he needed a miracle.
And a miracle was what he got. He had driven by a Shiv Mandir when the echo of the bells beckoned him. He stopped his bike and stared at the brightly lit mandir. Rudra didn't know why, but he felt that he would get his answers there. So, he slowly got off his bike, took off his shoes, and entered the holy sanctuary. He hesitantly went up the concrete steps. Rudra had never been to the mandir after his parent's death. He did believe in God, but he never prayed or acknowledged the deities. He believed that, after all the sins he had committed, Bholenath would turn His back on him. However, Rudra wouldn't have entered the holy shrine if he wasn't desperate. This wasn't about him, this was about Paro. The woman he loved and His devotee. So Rudra knew that, today, Bholenath would listen.
Rudra made it to the top and came face to face with the stoned image of Bholenath. With Paro as his motivation, he walked straight up to it and stared at it. The diyas illuminated the deity and the smell of the incense sticks reached his nose. His eyes, however, remained locked on Him. He didn't know how to talk to Him. Was he suppose to give something to Him in exchange? Like a bribe? He didn't have anything to give. The one thing he actually had was gone, and he was trying to find it. A pundit, who had been silently observing Rudra from afar, was awestruck by the man's demeanor. It was as if Bholenath had reincarnated himself and stood in the mandir. He saw the disturbed look on the man's face and walked up to him.
"Beta," the pundit said. "I can't help but notice the disturbed look on your face. Is something troubling you?"
Rudra looked at the pundit and nodded, "Punditji, I'm looking for someone. I said some things to her without thinking and she's gone. I can't seem to find her."
"It seems that you care a great deal about this woman."
"I do."
The pundit smiled and nodded assuringly, "Don't worry. Trust in Bholenath. Ask Him for what you want. If you ask for it with your heart, He will surely help you."
As the pundit walked away, Rudra looked back at the deity. Paro had even said that she would come if she called for him with his heart. The problem was, he didn't know how. Feeling lost, he closed his eyes and folded his hands before Bholenath. Images of Parvati flashed in his mind. Her smile, her laugh, her words, her kindness. It flooded his senses. Rudra felt his heartbeat race just thinking about her. He missed her. He needed to know that she was safe. That was all that mattered to him. He wouldn't be able to rest until she was in front of him. Rudra took her name with every breath he took and every beat his heart beat. If this was what it took then he would do it. Rudra felt his heart beat for only one person...Paro. He knew that if Bholenath was watching him, He would know what Rudra wanted and what he was willing to do to get it back.
Rudra opened his hopeful eyes, searching for some sort of sign that Bholenath had listened. What he hadn't expected was an answer. He sighed heavily and turned on his heels, only to stop dead in his tracks. His eyes almost popped out of his sockets. He looked back at the deity before staring back in front of him. There, in front of him, was Parvati. She was running up the steps, completely disheveled and scared. She hadn't noticed him yet. She was looking behind her, as if trying to make sure no one was following her. Her hair was a mess, and her dupatta was barely hanging on her shoulder. Something was very wrong.
When she finally looked at him, she stopped. It was then Rudra saw her face. She wasn't scared, she was terrified. Paro's cheeks glimmered from tear streaks, causing him to worry what had happened. Her hazel orbs then showed a sign of relief upon seeing him. She took a step forward and so did he. Rudra felt overwhelmed with emotions seeing her there, but a part of him wondered if he was imagining things again.
Parvati, on the other hand, hadn't expected to find anyone in the mundir. She had been in serious trouble and ran to the temple, knowing she would be safe there until daybreak. She was going to hide, but seeing Rudra there came as a complete and utter shock to her. She remembered him saying that he never went to the mandir after his parent's death. He had said that he would mostly likely never step in one, but here he was. She realized that he must've been searching for her, and as a last resort, he came here. Parvati glanced at the statue of Bholenath and then at him. Rudra had called out to her with his heart, and He had listened and led her to where she belonged.
"Paro?" Rudra said.
Parvati then spoke, "Rudra."
The next thing he knew, she was ran towards him and flung herself into his arms. The unexpected impact made Rudra stumble back slightly. She was really here, in his arms. She was right. If he called with his heart, she'd come. However, he was shocked by Paro's actions. What stunned him even more was the fact that she was shivering and clawing at his back. This was the first time they were in such close proximity, and he didn't know how to proceed. Slowly, Rudra wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer to his chest. He rubbed her back gently and tried to calm her when he frowned feeling her flinch in his arms. With much effort, he pulled Paro out of his embrace. She held onto his jacket's collar.
"No please," Paro pleaded for him not to let her go.
Rudra was now more worried than ever, "I'm not going anywhere. What's wrong? What happened?"
Her cries made it impossible for her to say anything. Rudra felt each tear slice his heart a thousand times. He couldn't bear seeing her like this. He needed to know what happened. He was growing restless. Rudra cupped Paro's face and wiped her tears that were running down her cheeks. Her glass-like orbs met his concerned eyes.
"Paro I'm here," Rudra confirmed. "I'm not going anywhere. What's wrong? What happened?"
She finally controlled her sobs and said, "Tejawat's men found me."
"What!"
"I was walking d-down the street, and some m-men stopped me. They...they surrounded me and started t-t-touching me. I asked them to let me go but they wouldn't. Th-then they realized who I was...and then...they wanted to take me to Tejawat. But..."
Rudra moved closer, "But?"
"...But first they wanted to have fun' with me first. I tried running away. They grabbed me, held me down on the ground in the middle of the street, and...and tried to...They tried to..."
Rudra's blood boiled as he realized what those men wanted to do with Paro. He dropped his hands from her face and in a dark, grim voice, spoke, "Did they rape you, Paro?"
She shook her head, "No, I managed to get away. I shook them off. But...but Rudra..."
"What?"
Parvati slowly turned to show him her back. His jaw dropped. Her dori was undone. There were scratches with dried blood along the creamy expanse of her back, proof that those men had tried to taint the innocence that was Paro. Rudra couldn't believe that this had happened.
"Does it look as bad as it feels?" she asked.
Rudra retied the dori to her blouse and turned her to face him. He pulled her into his chest and she held onto him. He couldn't believe that Tejawat's bloody men had tried to rape her. If he ever saw them, he swore he would give them a fate worse than death. Rudra held onto the woman in his arms possessively. He knew something like this could've happened. He should've been there to protect her. This was proof that she wasn't safe here. He had to get her out of Chandangarh as soon as possible. Thakur-sa's men must have informed him by now, and it wouldn't be long until they went looking for Paro. Rudra removed his jacket and wrapped it around her.
"Do you now understand why I told you to leave?" he asked holding her.
Paro nodded.
"Then please understand that you have to go to Mumbai. You'll be safe there."
"I'm safe with you."
"No you're not. I wasn't able to protect you from them trying to-."
"No, it's not your fault. I shouldn't have left. You warned me about the potential danger, but I didn't listen."
He looked at her painfully and bared his heart out to her, "How would I live if anything happened to you?"
Paro caressed his face lovingly, "Nothing will happen to me as long as I'm
with you."
"No, if you stay, you'll get hurt. You're going to Mumbai and that's final."
"I won't go without you."
He pulled her hand off of his face, "Paro-."
"I'll die without you."
Rudra's eyes widened, "Paro..."
Parvati took his face in her hands. He leaned into the warmth that radiated from them but never broke eye contact. She stared into the eyes of the man who loved her so selflessly. She needed to stay with him, and he had to understand that. Bholenath had even brought her to him. Wasn't that proof enough? There was one last thing she could do to get Rudra to realize that she had to stay...or they would remain incomplete without one another. So, in front of her Bholenath, Parvati revealed to Rudra the secret she had kept within her heart.
"I love you, Rudra."
**********
OMG she said it!!!!!! She said it! The three words!
How was it? Tell me by leaving your comments and feedback below!
Next update (Which is halfway done): Rudra's response to Paro's confession
Thanks for reading!
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
