FF: The Beautiful and the Condemned (Completed) - Page 34

Parvati had watched Rudra step out of the train as it was preparing to depart. He stood on the platform, watching the train. She could see him, but he couldn't see her. She stared at him through her tear-filled gaze. It seemed so simple for him to just sit her down in the train and walk out. But Paro knew that it was the hardest thing he had to do. The tenderness with which he spoke and caressed her cheek was enough to put an end to her breathing altogether. She could still see the broken expression written on his face. Her heart was breaking along with his.

How could he not understand that the safest place for her to be was with him? Tejawat's men could find her anywhere at anytime. Not even that, being with Rudra completed her. Without him, it didn't matter where she went, Paro would never be complete nor would she be happy. It wasn't just her that felt this either. She knew he felt it too. If he didn't, he would've killed her when Tejawat gave the order. Did he really think that being apart would make the situation better? Yes, he cared about her. She mattered to him. But there was more to it, wasn't there? Paro couldn't leave, nor would she.

She didn't know when she had stepped out of the train until it was gone. She only realized that she had disobeyed Rudra's order when she saw him walking out of the station. Parvati gripped the black bag in her hand. Seeing him walk away from her was the last bit of motivation she needed. She kicked up her feet and ran out of the station to find Rudra. She searched for him, but couldn't find him anywhere. It didn't matter. She knew he would have to go home eventually. And she would find him there. Parvati looked around at the unfamiliar surroundings. Exactly...which way was home?

~

Evening had fallen, but he hadn't noticed. Rudra hadn't noticed anything that had been going on around him for the last few hours. The hustle and bustle in the street around his home was just one big blur. The various sounds had meshed together into one droning buzz. It had been this way for the last few hours. Rudra had been sitting on his motorcycle in front of his home. He had been driving around aimlessly since this morning, after he had left Paro. There was a large emptiness inside of him. Her memories, her image, everything about her was etched into his mind and refused to leave. In fact, ever since she left all he could think about was her. Rudra wondered if she reached Mumbai safely. Hopefully she found a place to stay. He had given her more than enough money. In fact, he had given her his entire savings. At least now Parvati would be alive and safe.

He had been trying to go inside his house, but the more he tried, the more he realized he wasn't moving. He was just frozen with his head staring down at his lap and his hands gripping the handles tightly. Rudra didn't know what he would do once he went inside. He wasn't hungry. He wasn't sleepy. Parvati wasn't there. Lately, it had become a habit for him to sit and talk to her. About anything. It didn't matter. Just the fact that they were talking was enough to make his entire day better. But with her not there, Rudra realized that he was once again alone in this world.

Loneliness. That was what he was destined for. Rudra should've known better than to try and let someone in. It was his mistake. After all these years he was still desperate for comfort, comfort which Paro endlessly gave. He shouldn't have gotten so attached. No matter what he wanted, Fate would always take those that mattered away from him. Rudra was destined to be alone. The only way he was able to forget this harsh reality was through alcohol, which didn't sound like a bad idea. However, he couldn't. It's not that he didn't want to, it's just that he couldn't without Paro's hurt image flashing through his mind. She even managed to stop him from taking that ember liquid to his lips. Had she really affected him so much? Of course she did.

The streets had emptied and the lights had gone on when he finally realized how late it was. The shops were closed and not a single person was in sight. He was the lone wolf that stood out in the empty street. Rudra let out a small gruff and got off his motorcycle. He walked towards his door while fiddling with the keys in his hand. Suddenly, the chiming of the keys was out of tune with the movements he was making with them. He stopped moving the keys. The chiming was still echoing. How was that possible?

The sound was going at a steady pace. The chimes were soft, barely making it to his ears. Then they grew louder, faster, and more tantalizing. Rudra had heard this sound before, but for him to hear it now couldn't be possible. But it couldn't be anything else. It was the sound of payals. Not just any payals, but Paro's payals. His head immediately shot up as he began searching frantically. That chiming sound, it can only be hers, that he was sure of. How could she be here? She was suppose to be in Mumbai! He couldn't see her anywhere, and Rudra thought he was dreaming...until he heard it...

"Rudra!"

Rudra pivoted a full 180 degrees. The initial shock on his face was instantly replaced by uncontrollable rage. The sight before him turned Rudra Pratap Ranawat back into a jallad.

~

Parvati had searched all of Chandangarh. She had gone through every street and every alleyway searching for Rudra's home, but there was no luck. She didn't give up however. Her determination to find Rudra kept her going. The sun had set, and the streetlights had turned on. The busy streets were clearing out, making it a little easier for Paro to find her way. Finally, she came across a familiar street. She remembered standing in it a week ago, under an umbrella, watching the rain fall around her. She was close. Her eyes searched for any sign of Rudra. With the crowd clearing out, she knew it would be much easier to find some indication of him. What she didn't expect was to find him sitting outside his home on his motorcycle. Her heart skipped a beat upon laying eyes on him.

Rudra looked lost. That same look that she herself had when she had lost her mami-sa. It was that inner grief that was beginning to come out of him. Paro was ready to run up to him and yell at him for leaving her so easily. Then she was going to hug him and tell him to never do that again. With the plan set in her mind, Paro took a step forward to grab her Fate by the reins. However, an unexpected obstacle halted her in her tracks.

One minute she was staring at Rudra, and the next she felt a hand cover her mouth. The initial shock was replaced by fear and she tried to pull the hand away from her mouth. It was then she felt something hard against the side of her head. Before she could get a good look, Paro heard a familiar voice that sent chills down her spine.

"So, you're still alive Parvati?" It was Bheema.

Her eyes widened with shock as she continuously tried to struggle out of his strong hold.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you. Not unless you want me to pull this trigger."

Paro understood that Bheema was holding a gun to her head. She stopped struggling.

"Thakur-sa had suspicions that you were still alive. He had given Rudra your death warrant three days ago and he hadn't heard back that the job was done. Thankfully he sent me. And lo and behold, you are still breathing."

Parvati's chest was heaving as panic began setting in. Her eyes were glued on Rudra, hoping that he would glance behind him once. But he didn't.

Bheema spoke through gritted teeth, "It's sad that Rudra didn't finish you off himself. No matter, we can fix that."

No, Bheema couldn't kill her, not now. Rudra was right there, she had to get to him. He was getting up from his motorcycle to go inside his house. He hadn't even looked back. Parvati had to get his attention, but how? Then, it clicked. With all her strength, she pulled Bheema's hand away from her mouth and bit him...hard. He stumbled back and let out a yelp in pain. It was enough for Parvati to run a few steps forward. She saw Rudra's head shoot up, searching. He knew she was here. He just needed to look back.

Paro felt Bheema's hand clasp against her wrist and pull her back. She dropped the bag in her hand. The gun was repositioned against her forehead as she slammed back against him.

Before his hand could cover her mouth, Parvati yelled, "Rudra!"

It was too late for Bheema. By the time he covered Parvati's mouth, Rudra had heard his name being called. In one swift movement he turned around and caught a glimpse of them. Parvati watched as Rudra's expression changed from shock to anger. His stance solidified, his fists clenched, his jaw tightened, and his glare ready to reduce Bheema to ashes. The jallad had returned to protect her once again.

Rudra was ready to pounce of Bheema the minute he saw the gun pointed at Paro. He didn't know how she had gotten back, but at this moment it didn't matter. What mattered was that right now, her life was in danger and Rudra was not going to have that. Bheema and Paro were only a few feet away from him, but it felt like they were miles away from each other. Rudra could see that fear in her eyes as she stared directly at him. He tried not to focus on her because if he did he knew he'd make a mistake that could cost her her life. So his eyes locked on Bheema.

"Rudra," Bheema said loudly. "You failed to fulfill your duties for thakur-sa. No one ever expected this from you."

"Let her go Bheema," Rudra retorted. "Now!"

"She has to die. If not by your hand, then by mine."

"If I so much as hear a whimper of pain from Paro, I swear I will kill you."

"Oh? So protective? I will have to report this to thakur-sa. It's a shame that I have to tell him that you became weak because of a woman."

"Bheema," Rudra warned as he took a step closer.

"No no!" Bheema unlocked the safety from the gun. "Not another step."

Rudra froze. He couldn't take another step without the fear of Paro being shot. He had seen so many deaths, but her death would haunt him for the rest of his life. So he stayed put, and his eyes searched for a way to save Paro. The sickening look of victory on Bheema's face outraged him. If only he had his gun to shoot him right in the face. Suddenly, Rudra's eyes caught a hold of the gun in Bheema's hand. Bheema never carried a gun. So where did this one come from? The silver metallic finish on it was very similar to his gun in his house. Amongst the clouds, Rudra found a silver lining.

"That gun," he speculated. "It's-."

"Yours," Bheema gleamed. "What better weapon to kill this woman with than yours? A part of you will forever be with her."

Rudra took a step forward.

"Stop! I'm warning you! I will shoot her."

"You can't and you won't."

"Is that a threat?"

"No, it's a fact. You just made the biggest mistake of your life. Actually two. First, you dared to hurt Paro. And second, you brought an empty gun to the fight."

"What?"

"I don't keep my guns loaded. I load them before I'm ready to kill someone. I have to wipe the fingerprints off the bullets. In your hand is an unloaded gun, Bheema."

Rudra lunged at Bheema, who had released Parvati at the sudden revelation. She screamed in fright as the two men tumbled down on the ground. They were rolling around, away from her. All she saw was Rudra's back as he straddled Bheema and punched him over and over. She could see Bheema's feet wriggling underneath Rudra as the blows continued without stopping. Then the wiggling stopped, but the blows continued. After a few more punches, Rudra stopped. Paro could see him panting heavily as he stood up.

As he turned around, Parvati's eyes widened. Rudra had killed Bheema with his bare hands. Rudra's knuckles were busted and covered in a mixture of his and Bheema's blood. A pool of red liquid began puddling under Bheema's crushed head. This was the second time she watched someone get murdered. The mere sight made Paro sick to her stomach.

Seeing her gaze locked on the dead body behind him, Rudra ran towards her. He stopped in front of her to check and see if she was okay. When it was clear she was not injured in any sense, he grabbed the bag on the floor with one hand and her wrist in the other. He dragged her inside the house and sat her down roughly on the bed, tossing the bag next to her. Paro looked at him as he was completely un-phased by what he had done. He had effortlessly killed a man without batting an eyelash, yet he struggled to kill her. Rudra made his way to the cellar, only to come back up with a large bucket.

He growled in a deep, threatening voice, "You are going to stay here. Do not come outside under any circumstances. Is that understood?"

She meekly nodded. Rudra exited, slamming the door behind him. She sat on his bed, trying to get the images of Bheema's murder out of her mind. The rawness, the gruesomeness, the bloodiness, it was just too much for her to handle. She didn't dare look outside to see what Rudra was doing, although she had a pretty good idea of what. That was another image she didn't need burned into her memory. So she sat quietly on the bed and waited.

Rudra didn't come back into the house until much later. As he stormed in he slammed and locked the door behind him. He strode towards the windows where we drew the curtains. Not once did he look at Paro, who was observing his every movement. The sheer demeanor in the way he went about his task was enough to tell her that he was infuriated. She stayed quiet, trying not to poke the hunting lion any further. Parvati saw his white leather jacket, covered in smeared, bloody handprints. He had wiped his hands on his jacket, using it like a towel. He looked down at himself, took off his jacket, and chucked it on the floor, revealing his black T-shirt.

When he turned to look at her, Paro got off of the bed and stood before him. He was still angry, but the furious jallad was buried deep within him once again. She now focused on him. Her earlier plan to yell at him had gone out the window after the Bheema incident. She was just happy that she was there, in front of him. All she wanted to do was hug him so she would feel safe, to know that everything was okay. But right now, she just wanted to take in the sight of her savior. Her protector. The man she loved.

Rudra didn't know what to say to her. He was filled with a variety of emotions. First he was upset to see her here because her life was at risk. Second, he was speechless to see that she was actually back. She had come back of her own freewill. Third, he was beyond outraged to see Bheema try to hurt Paro. Fourth, he was scared that he was going to have to watch someone else he cared about die right in front of him. And last, he was relieved that she was safe. Now that he stood before her, Rudra didn't know how to react. The first thought was utter disbelief that she wasn't in Mumbai. This anger was the first to make an appearance.

"What are you doing here Paro?" he shouted angrily. "You're suppose to be in Mumbai!"

"I know, but I couldn't just leave," she replied.

"Yes, you could have. And you should have! What were you thinking! You know I sent you away so thakur-sa's men would never find you. You were never suppose to come back here! You didn't listen and looked what happened! Bloody Bheema found you and almost killed you! Thank your Bholenath that I was there!" Rudra stepped forward and grabbed Paro's arms. "Do you have any idea what I was going through when Bheema held that gun to your head! What if it wasn't my gun that he used! I don't know that I would've been able to save you! I-."

"You would have saved me. You always do."

"Stop that!"

"Stop what?"

"That! That never-ending, unconditional, blind trust you have for me! You can't believe that I could get you out of all situations."

Parvati shook her head, "Some things you just have absolute trust in."

Rudra dropped his hands and took a step back. Such trust. Such faith. He didn't deserve it. He took a deep breath before speaking again.

"Why didn't you leave?" he asked.

"How could I leave you?" she countered.

"What?"

"What if I leave and somehow Tejawat manages to find me?"

"He won't. I know I can cover your tracks. Fake your death."

"But what if he does? No one can protect me except you.

He shook his head. If only she would understand that he was doing all of this to protect her, and the safest place for her to be was away from him.

Paro took a step forward, "Rudra I-."

"You're going to Mumbai on tomorrow's train. That's final."

"No."

"Yes, you are."

"No, I'm not."

"Paro, you can't stay here."

"Why not?"

Rudra answered in a pained voice, "Because...because I'm a jallad. I will end up hurting you."

"No you won't. You have protected me every step of the way. Would a jallad do such a thing? No. Rudra, you know that safest place for me to be is here, with you."

"You can't stay here!"

"Why?"

Rudra finally broke, "Because if you stay I'll fall in love with you!..."

Parvati froze. Her gaze locked with the dark brown eyes staring back at her. Rudra took a step forward, lost in the eyes that were as wide as saucers. His next words were filled with the emotions that came with the sudden realization of his feelings.

In a softer, vulnerable voice, he added, "...More than I already have."

Parvati stared at him in disbelief. Rudra loves her. He really loves her. It wasn't just her that was developing these feelings. It was him too. Her heart pounded in her chest. Her eyes brimmed with love. She wanted to reciprocate his feelings, but the utter shock of his abrupt confession silenced her.

Rudra stared at Parvati as all the pieces began falling into place. So this is what love felt like. He cared for her, protected her, support her through everything. He did whatever he could to keep a smile on her face. He disclosed the darkest parts of his life to her. He sought comfort from her. His happiness, his reason to smile, was only because of Paro. That attachment wasn't just attachment, but love. He couldn't kill her because he loved her. He knew that keeping her safe was important to him because his life also depended on her survival. That's why walking away from her felt like one of the hardest things he had ever done. He loves her, that's why he wanted her by his side, forever.

"What...what did you say?" Paro asked. She needed to be sure this wasn't a dream.

In a more confident voice, he repeated, "I've fallen in love with you, Paro."

She felt a smile creep up on her face, "I-."

Rudra frowned, "But you can't be with me."

Her smile faded faster than it arrived, "Why?"

"I have been trained with the belief and ideal that women and love are a weakness. They can take down even the strongest man. That's why I've been trying to send you away. That's why I couldn't kill you. If you stay, you'll be my weakness. Thakur-sa and others will use you to get to me. If you get hurt Paro, I won't be able to bear it."

Parvati understood what he had been struggling with all this time. He loves her and cares about her. If she stays and she gets hurt, Rudra would truly turn into a jallad. The human in him would die along with her. He would become a soulless body, doomed into purgatory. But wouldn't the same thing happen if they were apart? Where was the silver lining in all of this?

Rudra sighed, "Now do you understand?"

"I do," she replied. "But you have to understand that the safest place for me to be is with you."

"If you stay here than thakur-sa will kill you."

"There is a solution to this. Other than my leaving."

His ears perked up, "What is it?"

"Tejawat won't look for me, and I wouldn't have to leave your side."

"What other option is there, Paro?"

Paro cupped his face in her hands and said, "Come with me to Mumbai."

**********

So now you see why I had to post early, right?! Tell me what you think by leaving your comments and feedback below!

Next update: Rudra's choice. Will he go with Paro? Or will he stay?

Thanks for reading!