Shayad?????!!!!!!

Is that all a mother has to say when her grown up son, the one whom she deserted years back, the one she abandoned, who when he sees her after years, walks out on her?? Is there any doubt in your mind Thakurain Sa?? Are you still trying to make up your mind whether leaving your son orphaned was a mistake or not?? Shayad...perhaps..maybe...U made a mistake??? Leaving a child, your child behind...was maybe a mistake???

Yes, I understand that every human has a right to happiness, and as a woman I also understand that being Judgemental is wrong, I cannot be in her shoes, so can never understand what prompted her to take such a dire step...but...still...I might have heard her side of the story with an open mind...but...this one sentence especially one word just goes out to show how insensitive she is to her son's pain. How clueless she is about the plight of her only son!! She has no idea, not even a glimmer of an idea, of how the man who is standing in front of her, has suffered!!

Surprise...Maa Saa...this tall, handsome, hunk of a soldier, this rough and tough man in front of you...is your son!!...the one you left behind. Oh..he has grown up, such a big man now??? But then, what did you think, that the child was in deep freeze, waiting for you to think about him, to finally get some time out of your life, to return back to him?? Remember he was the one who was been taunted, tainted, pushed and shoved for something he never did. Or rather something that all children do...love and trust their mother unconditionally...but this got severely punished for committing that crime.

She is happy to see her son, but doesn't even feel the guilt, the shame, the remorse, of facing him after what she did?? No thoughts about how will she face the child she abandoned?? Nary a glimpse of a troubled conscience?? She only sees the tip of the iceberg when he walks out?? And then realizes, may be she made a mistake, by leaving him?? Which mother would not have spared a thought about how her child would have fared?? How the world, the society, how family and friends would have treated him, how life would have treated him?? She didn't even spare a thought about this before?? It was always I want to see my son, happily reunite with him?? I want to meet him, see his wedding...but lady what about I left him high and dry...I committed not a mistake, but a sin by running away and leaving him in pieces, what about I wanna see him and ask, beg for forgiveness? I want to talk to him and explain, justify, give reasons for what i did and hope he will finally one day forgive me?? Where do you reside Thakurain Sa in an delusional paradise, how can your son's anguish, angst, grief, fury, anger, betrayal, bitterness...never ever came into your mind?? Did you really think that he will happily welcome you back in his life, in his world, the one woman who totally shattered him, left him without looking back?? Did you really think that he was going to hug and cry, and smile and go...Maa Sa?? And did you really deserve such a forgiving reunion?? No thoughts huh...or is it SHAYAD again...

I have plenty to say...but cant find words to write about a woman who left her child behind for years...till meeting him became a convenience of fate...

And Rudra...all I can say is ...its easy to preach, its easy to say let go...that kind of pain and betrayal is life destroying. His disgust, disillusionment, his bitterness, his fury...its all justified, hope someone understands!!

Copy-pasting wat I wrote on another thread:

he doesnt owe anything to her..not forgiveness, not sympathy..

I m so upset with her..ok, I cn accept that may be life wid dilsher ws nt easy, she hd to leave, cdnt take rudra with her..ok..but to live without even trying to see her son once in 15 yrs?? Chup chupke bhi nahin! U hv no idea hw he looks like? U wdnt recognize him if he walked past u? U were so blissful in ur own world, that u didnt think fr 15 yrs wat d poor child must b gng thru? Nw that ur bubble hs bursted, u think shayad maine galti kar di? Shayad? Ab yaad aaya kitna tadpa hoga, tarsa hoga?

Irrespective of why she left...maybe there was a valid reason...I cannot fathom how she could say maybe she wronged her son...that rankles!! Just as it did when she was living in la la land and sayng she would bring him to live with her during the wedding track!! That's plain insensitive!

I don't agree with the statement that he should get over tbe past...and I would have liked if Paro had stayed with him when he asked if she was going with him or staying back! She has seen his pain for his mother...and further she knows that Mala was happy with Tejawat and has only come now knowing js true face!! So the statement that as hs mother she has returned doesn't cut ice!

I hope Rudra does get support from Paro and unconditional at that..but don't think it will happen!

Also, when Paro said "You're his mother" to Mala as if that's a good enough reason to forgive someone for causing you so much pain and anguish...like no. Rudra isn't obliged to forgive Mala for all the crap he went through because of her just because she's his mother. Besides, being a mother is a role, not a status. And so by that definition Mala stopped being Rudra's mother the day she ran away.