OS: Khamoshi - Page 2

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Roshni

@rashika

Rocker

+ 6

Posted: 11 years ago

#11

Awesome os.
Well I agree with what his father said that Rudra wanted paro out so she left for that reason. She always seems to obey the things he doesn't want her to obey and now he's suffering because of it.
Poor Rudra.

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deep0909

@deep0909

Navigator

Posted: 11 years ago

#12

sweet! I couldn't tell it was not edited. What I could tell was the pain and the angst... It came right thro

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bewakoofLadki

@bewakoofLadki

Dazzler

Posted: 11 years ago

#13

omgg woww so beautifully written
loved it

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Meena

@chotidesi

Rocker

+ 5

Posted: 11 years ago

#14

Originally posted by: Exprimere
More I hear you have work in the pipeline, the more elated I become.
Napster's thread has epic plans, and the promise of great work in the future. You, my friend, are the teasing glimpse to what standards the Navrasas would have.

As for "Khamoshi", it was another heartwarming piece that I read with a smile on my face. Bitter sweet.

(He called her a wh**e! Now she should refuse returning. How dare he? I'm with Dilsher on this. Yep.)

I will admit, Napster's thread has me bouncing around internally like a madman- or rather, madwoman. So much potential, so much excitement!

Bittersweet is what I was going for here- not fluff. I've developed an aversion to fluff as a result of writer's block. So bittersweet it is- unhappy endings do not satisfy me.

If it makes you feel any better, he didn't call her a wh**e to her face 😆 Only after she left. That was slightly unclear, but that's how I pictured it.

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Meena

@chotidesi

Rocker

+ 5

Posted: 11 years ago

#15

Originally posted by: curledup
Mine

-Edit:

I want to use the term 'I love this' but I feel so much now than love, I don't know how the English language will be able to encompass how I feel about this.

A writer strives to show and expose aspects of a character, it's hard to build up on one word, I mean we try to show a number of emotions a number of words that connotate certain things and that is hard BUT it is significantly harder to build up one ONE word. One word that reveals so much, so much of ONE character. The word -khamooshi is a powerful one, loneliness, silence are like the plague and you've done such an amazing amazing job.

The floor beneath my feet has been snatched, I cannot compose a strong of words to convey the feelings I have felt whilst reading this.

Uff. You flatter me too much, Baisa. I will say that I sometimes refrain from commenting on your work because I can't find the words for the feelings it invokes in me.

The one word thing is something I did purposefully- and I'm absolutely delighted that someone picked up on that. I have a strange addiction to themes and running metaphors and all that- carrying one word throughout a piece is a challenge that suits me as a writer. You've made me very, very happy by picking up on that.

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ddsoaps

@ddsoaps

Rocker

+ 4

Posted: 11 years ago

#16

Awesome...

Raat ke andheron mein...

Jab khamoshi ki chadar odh li

Tab dil ne li karwatein...

aur machi ek shor machi ek shor...Paro!

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shutter

@shutter

Voyager

Posted: 11 years ago

#17

That was one superb piece of fiction!!!!!!

"The silence was deafening, perhaps louder than any sound would have been." ->

Love this line!!!! Sums up Rudra's entire distress in this one line!!! 👏

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Anita

@neet2407

Voyager

Posted: 11 years ago

#18

Chotidesi - love it what an amazing title and story - silence is so powerful and not always golden as Rudra now realises - waiting for so much more from you - awesome!

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Meena

@chotidesi

Rocker

+ 5

Posted: 11 years ago

#19

Originally posted by: XSilentPrayersX
This was Awesome Chotii
His Anger , his pain his loneliness beautifully Depicted
He is an ass for for letting his ego win over his ache .
He needs her just like he needs oxygen .

Loved it
Keep Writing More

Thank you, SP (I hope you don't mind me calling you that)- He is quite the idiot, isn't he. But he's going after her now, so maybe... his idiocy will be tempered by his lovely wife. 😆